Being Grabbed By The Jaw And Kissed Til I’m Breathless Will Definitely Fix Me

me, eating a pile of nuts, cheese, and apple: mmmm tasty

the medieval peasant in my head watching me eat: thou knowst what would MAKETH this meal? dried fruits.

me, getting out the raisins: god damn, etheldred, you are SO right

the medieval peasant in my head: yet thou art still not heeding mine words regarding the blasphemy

I have to do something drastic. Well maybe I don't but that's how I feel

god, your worst warrior needs money

I have had 6-7 “Anthony James” scammers “looking for sugar baby” in under a week like… y’all.

Jason™ Voice: y’all like crime?

Weighted blankets aren't enough I need to be crushed in a hydraulic press

"i'm looking respectfully" well i'm looking carnally. i'm looking like a whore

Kacchan doodles

Tim: What is toothpaste, if not bone soap?

Damian: Existence is a prison and being your brother is maximum security.

im completely unresponsive the first hour after waking up pls do not talk to ne about anything important