Horrible Evil Comic That Pained My Hands

something HeavySniper related :0? That would be really rad!

Here you Go

Heavy and Sniper are eating Sandwiches together, also sniper does have vegemite in his sandwich 😁

(pov : you are waiting here to see medic)

Some Heavy/Sniper, meep. 

otp challenge, day 27: on one of their birthdays. my headcanon is that sniper always gives the other guys handmade gifts, most of which have multiple uses (a reversible jumper, a beanni that doubles as a tea cosy, a decorative hand-carved knife that actually functions as a knife, edible house plants that he propagated himself, etc). Heavy is probably the most appreciative of his knitting skills.

Dick-click is my new favorite term.

I was watching the Saxxy finalists with my husband awhile ago.  After watching DEFECT he turns to me and asks, “So what’s Heavy and Sniper’s dick-click?”

“What the hell is a dick-click?" 

"What you call their relationship. Like Freedom Fries or whatever.”

And then I was just uncontrollably giggling.  He now gets sent any cute heavy/sniper pics I find with “CUZ VEGEMITE SANDVICH IS YOUR FAVORITE DICK-CLICK”  in the subject line. Because if you can’t troll the one you love, you’re probably with the wrong person.

Ficmas Day One: Cooking Together ⭐️

Character: Scout's Ma x Reader [WLW]

Themes?: suggestive! Nothing too extreme..in this one😏

A/n: Hi Hi all!! I'm finally back to posting!! And here i bring Ficmas! It'll be 15 special Holiday themed fics with all your favorite mercs (and More!)

"Oh don't worry darlin'! I made sure we had everything we needed for today!"

"Are you sure? I can run down to the store and buy more-"

You were cut off by a kiss to your cheek, making you melt as you watched your girlfriend Sashay her way into her kitchen. You follow behind with a dopey smile on your face.

You don't know how lucky you were to get a woman like her in your life. Cathyrn, or Cathy as you loving called her was just a bombshell, a bostonian women with a Strong personality to her. She absolutely swept you off your feet when you first met.

You were just a simple bakery worker, who met her one day when she came in to get some sweets to send to her son, who you learned was a Mercenary that day. You met Jeremy many times since them, and even have lovingly gotten called Mom or Ma #2 by him.

Cathy laid it on thick. She let it be known that she wanted you that day.

"Hello ma'am! What could I help you with?"

"Mhm..are you on the menu, Sugar?~"

Cue you turning a bright red as you fumble out a response.

Since then, the two of you have been going strong for nearly 3 years now.

And today you were going to be baking with your girlfriend as Jeremy was coming home for the holidays. You shake off your coat, hanging it up and heading into the kitchen.

There Cathy was setting up all the ingredients for the brownies you'd be baking. You rolled up your sleeves and went beside her, preparing to some of the ingredients.

"How long is Jer staying, Babe?"

"Ahh, two weeks! He's off for the holidays! And you already know he's demanding those brownies of yours~!"

You chuckle as you watch her melt down the chocolate, and prepare the rest of the wet ingredients before you get started with the dry ingredients.

The two of you go on with small talk as you get ready to combine the ingredients.

"Honey! Taste this!" You blushed as she places some of the chocolate on her finger and places it infront of you. You look at Cathyrn and you see that smirk of hers begin to spread.

"Oh no no Missy..we got to finish before Jer gets here!"

"Aww..but a little fun won't hurt..will it?.." She purred as she leaned towards you, you pout but take your girlfriends finger into your mouth. The chocolate was good! Creamy and not too sweet, perfect for what you were going for.

"Mhm..look at my good girl~"

You pull away embarrassed by her words and yelped. She giggles at your shyness before pulling out the mixer. You pour the wet ingredients in first and slowly start the mixer.

Cathy stands behind you, humming as she watches as you slowly begin adding dry ingredients. She smiles as she places her hands on your hips, her head in the crook of your neck.

"You look so good doing this darlin'..I could just eat you up~" her hand trails down to press against your lower region, making you jolt slightly. "B-babe.."

"Shh..~, i think we have another hour before our boy comes home.."

She let's you move to bend over and places the brownies in the oven. Her hands never leaving your hips. She chuckles as she gives your ass a small grab making you stand up straight as you close the oven.

She sets the timer and starts pulling you away to the bedroom.

"B-but the brownies!!"

"We have an hour before Jeremy comes and 45 minutes before the brownies are done..~"

She smirks as she looks over her shoulder at you.

"And I can make you cum in 20..~"

Mercs if they had modern day cellphones!

Heavy:

The screen is too small and his fingers are too big.

The screen also tends to hurt his eyes after a while but he absolutely refuses to turn down the brightness, saying it would make it even harder to see than before

His main favorite functions are video calls with Medic or his family and listening to music.

His life is complete when he discovers E-books

He can’t read them on the screen but he loves being able to clean Sasha while having his favorite book read to him

Medic:

Really doesn’t use it for much else than phone calls and the occasional google search at first

When he discovers mobile games that takes his interest though!

He becomes a candy crush mom.

Oh you have a broken arm? Wellll…You can tough it out, champ. He’s on level 7,229 right now.

He would make all the other men get Life360

Scout:

Total social media zombie(I say as if I am not one)

Surprisingly he’s very popular on apps like Twitter and Tik Tok. People think he’s hilarious!

Unfortunately somewhere along the way he says something less than respectful about something and his account gets banned

Eventually he’s on account number 6 and trying to regrow his following

It never recovers

He finds out about NFT’s

Sniper:

Mainly uses it to watch youtube and play music

His phone is always on silent and Do Not Disturb

He loves those videos where those guys go out into the middle of the woods and just start building a fucking house out of clay and sticks.

He prefers texting to calling, finding it much faster(he just like me fr)

Baffled by just how much porn he has access to now….

But he’s not complaining.

Soldier:

He doesn’t use it because he just keeps breaking his phones.

They’ve been dropped, blown up, set ablaze, dropped in water, eaten by a bread-tumor monster, eaten by Soldier(???) and run over.

Even if they didn’t get destroyed within 3 days he still wouldn’t use it for much else besides setting alarms and sending confusing group texts.

However, with each new phone he has gotten he asks Pyro for stickers and sticker bombs his phone just for fun

Has an American flag wallpaper

Pyro:

Watches a lot of Youtube!

They love art tutorials, cooking tutorials and those videos with the guys that put molten hot metal balls into water and those videos of people crushing things in Hydraulic presses

Their search history is so fucking strange:

“my little pony free episode”

“my little pony movie free”

“how to draw clouds”

“gasoline cheap prices”

They follow Scout’s pages and always send him nice comments and like his videos

Engineer:

Loves listening to music and watching movies on his phone

Eventually learns how to code and make his own apps

This is also how he discovered he could jailbreak his phone and turn it into a universal remote for his sentries

Very slow texter

Uses way more emoji’s than needed

“Hello yall 👋🏻 going to the hardware store today 🔨let me know if yall need anything while im out👋🏻🚶🏼”

His most used app is the settings app

Spy:

Of course all of his phones are burners.

He never uses one for more than one week

Loves pirating movies on it and watching them in bed

He has no contacts. No personal information and keeps his location off at all times

Likes to pretend to be different people and play around with Google and Youtube’s targeted ads and algorithms

One day he’s an 86 year old woman that’s recommended nothing but metal bands and funeral home ads

The next week he’s four years old and getting recommended Mario and Minecraft let’s play videos

He uses twitter

He’s doxxed many people on Twitter

Like Scout he has MANY banned accounts and has also hacked and stolen many accounts

…He hacked one of Scout’s accounts and got it permanently banned

Demoman:

Loves watching Top 10 videos

Also loves having so much ease and access talking to his lads

He video calls his mother often even she just nags him the whole time and keeps accidentally hanging up

Is frequently texting the other team’s Soldier and laughing at what he says back

Uses Discord and Reddit and is in many servers and communities that focus on paranormal activity, urban legends and cryptids

Actually makes his own youtube videos searching for said cryptids

Frequently comments “cringe” under Scout’s posts

Headcanon that Soldier is trans but he just. Forgot. So whenever he gets his period he goes to beat up Merasmus because he’s convinced it’s a curse.

otp challenge, day eleven: wearing kigurumis. i think i wanted to draw a kigurumi about as much as sniper wanted to wear one. so i guess we both had to suffer here (jk, this was fun)

Hi! I wasn't sure if your doing requests right now so I'm so sorry if you aren't, feel free to ignore. I was wondering if you could write a fluffy headcanon list/mini story about how the mercs would react to a teen reader who's super shy and skittish gifting them trinkets they have made out of clay?

Hope this made sense! English is not my native language. Thank you so much.

-🎾

Mercs reacting to skittish teen!reader giving them clay trinkets [PLATONIC]

| All mercs & Skittish TEEN!reader | 945 words | masterlist | request-box |

AW saw this in my inbox and had to do it cause i also love making things out of clay <3

Ty for the request 🎾anon!!

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Scout:

He's never been close with you, since you're always hanging around engineer and heavy more.

He kinda notices how its like you avoid him, he just wants a friend

But if you were to walk up to him and shakily place a small clay trophy with a baseball bat peaking from inside of it he'd be elated.

I'd say he's jumping for joy, and is probably crying when you hand it to him because he had just lost the team the match few hours before.

Would shove it into the other mercs faces, pointing at it laughing that they're not cool enough to have gotten a trophy.

Keeps it on his window sill next to a photo of him and his ma.

Soldier:

(Skittish kid vs Loud USA citizen who would win)

Jokes, but soldier wouldn't get along too well with you if you're always hiding away from him and keeping lengths away.

But when you and pyro were hanging out, you had found clay heavy had brought you and were just laying on the floor of pyro's room making little clay figures.

And you had made this poor looking eagle, with a misshapen American flag on it.

And when you offered it to soldier he was ecstatic, and by ecstatic I mean holding it up to the sky laughing in pride.

Even if the eagle looks like a fat dove he loves it, (USA! USA! USA!)

Keeps it in one of his pockets

Pyro:

Pyro gets along with you, they're a tad strange but easy to hang around

Since pyro loves to do crafts I expect them to already have made many things for you.

But when you gift them a clay Balloonicorn they cry

cradling it in their hands and sobbing.

They'd place it down carefully and then hug you, like bone crushing type hug.

Would try and make something for you as well

Engineer:

He's like your dad, and through your shyness you've stuck to him.

He's an engineer (duh) so he's probably made some things to just make your life easier

He lets you stay in his workshop if the rest of the team overwhelm you.

One day he came back from a losing battle he looked down at his work desk to see a small shotty looking sentry figure, clearly made out of clay and handpainted. A little poorly, as it looked like it was constantly painted over and fixed up.

But he loves it, keeps it on a newly built shelf so it doesn't get damaged.

He's a proud father

Heavy:

You hand him a small Sasha made out of clay and he doesn't know what to do.

He'll chuckle and pat you on the back, thanking you saying you did a great job.

You already were about to nervously dart away when he didn't respond for a while.

He keeps it safe, making sure no one touches it. Like it was the real Sasha.

Second proud father

Demoman:

Stopped drinking too much when you came to the base, to make you feel a bit more comfortable.

He doesn't let you in his workspace because he doesn't want you to get hurt by any explosives or harsh chemicals. (heavy would kill him if that happened)

You make him this small eyelander out of clay, it wasn't the right colour and its a little misshapen but its the thought that counts.

If the eyelander mentions anything wrong with it, he's locking it away again

Sniper:

He doesn't like kids, doesn't matter if you're a teen, scout is enough to make him feel like he's 30+ (even if sniper is the youngest merc)

You are shy, and like to hang around outside under some trees to get away from scout

And near there is where he likes to practice his aiming, and where his perch is

Few weeks later, he comes up to his perch to go on lookout, and at the bottom of the ladder is an owl figure.

He'd be confused, but could see you peaking from around a tree.

Keeps it in his van, on the dashboard stuck down with superglue.

Medic:

He's a little too unhinged for you

But you like his birds so you hang around just to watch them/hang out with them.

He'd show you each bird, joyful when he can show off his pets and second in command.

Medic would be holding like 3+ small dove clay trinkets which you placed into his hands and skidded off, cooing at them as he would show them all to the actual birds.

Archimedes would try to eat one

Shows them to heavy with pride

Keeps them in his office, constantly batting Archimedes away while he tries to eat them.

Spy:

He doesn't like you

And you never see him so its hard if you're going to make anything for him

He doesn't like teenagers, and with your skittish nature you're always already across the room when someone other than Heavy, Engineer or Demoman is trying to talk with you.

When he notices the other mercs with these clay trinkets he snobbishly dismisses it, saying the maker clearly was a child.

And when he gets into his smoker room there is a little clay trinket on his mantel place, a spy crab.

Wouldn't admit it to anyone but it's stayed there since it was put there and he cannot fathom to remove it.

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✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ If you see any typos pls tell me! If you wanna be tagged when i post next do tell me!

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Tag List: @therobloxmafia Posted 31.05.2024