“The Blood Flowed Freely In My Veins, But A Weight Of Despair And Remorse Pressed On My Heart, Which

overgrown

You know what people don’t talk about often enough? Playing catch up in life after spending your teens or early 20s suicidally depressed. There’s so many more layers than just being able to say “I don’t want to die anymore.”

The difficulty in academia or a career after spending years thinking you wouldn’t be alive long enough for any of it to matter.

The exhaustion that comes from self awareness and self soothing, with the constant voice in your head saying “don’t go backwards.”

How lonely it is to watch the people your age starting families when you’re just barely learning what stable relationships are, and the sudden societal pressure of being “up against a clock” for these kinds of things.

The judgement from others if you change your image or interests this late in the game just because you finally figured out who you really are under the demons.

Be kind to those who are developing and blooming after years of not planning on being here long. We are living a life we absolutely didn’t think we’d have, and it’s hard enough without society reminding us there’s expectations of our age.

We didn’t get to be young; we were too busy fighting battles few know.

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AUTISM AND (THE CONSEQUENCES OF) DEHUMANIZATION

(1): Franz Kafka, "the metamorphosis" ; (2): Ruta Sepetys, "emilia - salt to the sea" ; (3): Susan Sontag, "as consciousness is harnessed to flesh" ; (4): Walton Ford, glepnir ; (5) Mitski, "cop car" ; (6): Franz Kafka, "letters to felice" ; (7): @soapstore ; (8): witch hat atelier, ch 43 ; (9): Olivia Laing, "the lonely city" ; (10): @fagromyzidae

[writes about Jesus but it’s actually about being trans] [writes about being trans but it’s actually about Jesus]

Kelly looks to the door, and waits.

aka the episode in which Jonny reaches directly into my brain, grabs onto my worst fear, and turns it into the perfect three sentences to obliterate me in one shot

Désolé - Gorillaz . https://youtu.be/ZLKZKmdZEjM

Désolé, désolé quand tu pars (Sorry, sorry when you leave) Désolé, I’m a long way from land Desolé, I don’t know what to do Désolé, désolé, try to hold on to you

Fun fact, désolé both means sorry and desolate in french! This song struck me as very… Theon Greyjoy angst. Just a lil doodle for the sad, dead meow meow, with some alt vers for eye candy.

May Sarton, "Of Grief", Selected Poems

Experiencing Derealization and impending doom suddenly at the same time is fucking wild.