Hood Needs To Hurry Or Mr Freeze Will Adopt Him

"He's part of the Family Business, don't worry!"

First

Damian was glad him and Danny were finally at the zoo, being around the animals calmed him especially since he took great care to make sure the animals were held in accomodating enclosures.

There was also Danny's frankly terrifying guardian, Damian was sure even his grandfather would fear the man. It wasn't that he looked scary, or did anything apart from scowl at him, but the moment he met the man's eyes it was like fear had a tight grip on him.

He glanced at Danny's hand, should he take it? Danny was grinning at the otters running around.

"Danny?"

"Hm?"

"Your guardian..."

"Frank? What about him?" Clear blue eyes met green ones, Damian swallowed his nervousness down.

"How are you related?" Danny looked up, as if in thought.

"Well, we aren't related, really. He's just... part of the Family Business, you know? Dad was worried and thought I shouldn't go alone to study in the crime capital." Damian nodded, that sounded normal enough. It did.

"What's your family business? I don't remember you talking about if before?"

"Ah... well..." Danny seemed to avoid his eyes. "It's more my business that my family has their fingers in as well due to overlapping interests."

"Hm." That answered nothing! Damned be Grayson! Damian should have done the background check like he initially wanted to. But no! Grayson had convinced him to have "a real expierence!"

Tt. Grayson will regret their next training session!

"But Damian don't worry! Frank is more like a bodyguard. And a cook... and maybe a maid... you know what he's most like a housekeeper. But don't tell him I said that! He's sensitive about his job!"

"Of course I would never! Come let's go see the penguin feeding."

He did it, he took Danny's hand! Okay, normal breathing, this is a date, of course they'll hold hands! If he get's a second date they may even kiss! Right now he should focus on his date, he could find out about the scetchy sounding background after. And if he had to rescue Danny from his mob family he would!

Surely father would understand that he needed to marry his beloved as soon as possible to help him. He would accept a house as their wedding gift as long as he had enough space for his animals. And Danny's meta dog of course.

I got Fright Knights name from this fic, it's a Jason is Danny's father while having to deal with Fright Knight and the fact that lazarus waters are Danny's other parent.

I love how this implies that the Wayne family decided to hire mainly/exclusively male caregivers for their family and learned nothing in those 500 years of Danny snatching men.

As well as implying that Martha and Thomas Wayne planned a 10-year-plan for Alfred, told that plan to Bruce and then send their son out to stop Danny from snatching another man. That was their masterplan, let their child warn the man.

Thomas and Martha probably sighed resigned after Bruce told them how that ended.

8 year old Bruce: Alfred, can I tell you the story of the Wayne Blood Curse?

Alfred: No. That's how curses get spread. I don't want a blood curse on my house.

Bruce: But its really important I tell all new staff members or they are open to-

Alfred: No. Shush.

Bruce: But-

Alfred: I have dusting to do. Good day, Young Master.

Danny dusting in the room Alfred ran into: Hiya, you new?

Alfred: Yes. Just started last week. Are you a butler, too?

Danny: Not really, I'm more of a floater. I cover whatever work needs to be done if we're short staff. I'm Danny Phantom, by the way. Nice to meet you. You are?

Alfred: It's lovely to meet you, I'm Alfred Pennyworth. I-

Bruce: ALFRED NO! YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE TOLD IT YOUR NAME! WHY DIDN'T YOU LISTEN TO ME!?

Alfred: What?

Danny suddenly glowing and flouting: HeLlO ALfrEd PeNNyWoRtH. ThE conTrACt hAs bEeN SeALeD.

Bruce: No!

Danny: Yes!

Bruce: NO!

Danny: YES!

Bruce: Alfred belongs to my parents! Its why Dad hired him- he's supposed to be my other Dad after a ten year plan of them romancing him!

Danny: Its too late. He's mine now. I have the soul binding ring! SEE! *Waves hand* I'M THE HUSBAND AND THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT CHILD, MAH HA HA HA!

Bruce: Nooooooooooo!

Alfred frog blink: Whats happening?

Bruce: That's man-stealing ghost took another one! Why is he always after the men, we Waynes want!? Its been 500 years Phantom, leave us alone!

Danny: Ha! You sound just like your father did at your age when I seduced his nanny.

Bruce: I shall have my revenge!

Danny: He said that too!

Alfred: Can someone please explain what the hell is going on!?

Henchmen for Hire

AKA "Danny is employed as one of the Rogue's henchmen and he's doing so well at being discrete, none of the Bats even know he's committing crime! (They absolutely know.)" prompt idea!!

Y'know what would make this funnier?? Is if Selina Kyle, Catwoman and hoarder of strays, immediately Work Mom'd this kid.

Imagine Danny gets dumped into Gotham by himself. Except there's, like, no ectoplasm - not nearly enough to sustain his Ghost. So, his Ghost form slowly peters out and he's left penniless and powerless on the streets of Gotham. Obviously, the next step would be to find money. But how?? He can't go invisible, intangible, or Full Ghost to help him out here. And there aren't a lot of stand-up places that hire kids younger than 13, so ultimately he's forced to apply for henchmen positions. He doesn't actually find Catwoman's ad. No, she hears through the grapevine that this actual child is applying to be a drug runner for the Penguin or - oh, shit, the Joker??

Absolutely not. Selina is no saint, but she's not going to let another kid be beaten to death by the Joker. Maybe she talks to Harley and finds out where the kid's going, or maybe she just puts in an ad and hires him on the spot. To be honest, she doesn't really expect to particularly like the kid - she'll have him pick up her coffee or something, pay him at the end of the day (standard henchmen pay periods since it's likely they won't live through the end of the week), and clear her conscience.

Except Danny is a little shit.

Danny, for his part, doesn't necessarily want to be a henchman but he figured it'd be more than getting some lady's coffee, right? He imagined an evil man twirling his extra long mustache and smoking a cigar, or mobsters hunched over a gambling table grunting about... playing cards or something, he doesn't know. Instead Danny's told to pick up Catwoman's dry-cleaning. It's almost an insult when he knows she's planning a heist that includes stealing several very expensive items from a museum during an evening showing. Without him, her only henchman!! (So what if he snooped in her office? It's not like it's ghost-proof; she should've expected Bad Behavior from the Very Bad Criminal in her house.)

Selina finds out very quickly that Danny is akin to a rambunctious kitten chewing through her phone charger cable and clawing at her favorite muslin blanket (the one Bruce gifted her from one of their dates). And she's so exasperated that she agrees he can be involved. But only as a distraction and he's told that he needs to scram once the police come because she's not bailing him out of juvie if he gets caught. (She wouldn't, but she could make Bruce do it. Her lover would take one look at Danny's watery doe eyes and cave like he's already experiencing Empty Nest Syndrome.)

So, Catwoman and her littlest henchman plan to rob the Gotham Museum. She buys him a cat-themed facemask (in case things get sticky and he needs a quick anonymous getaway) like ones from Party City, it has little ears poking out from the top and it's adorable. And then it's go time.

Danny's role is to distract the crowd by pretending to be a lost kid and distract Batman if he shows up. Selina will take care of the rest - disarming the alarms, timing the museum workers' shifts, bribing the West Entry security guard, frame-freezing the surveillance cameras, smuggling in the forgery and smuggling out the original, and - well. It'll be nice not to deal with the Big Bat if he shows up, but Selina is used to doing this on her own.

She should've expected that Danny doesn't do what's expected.

Because Danny does his part as the crying, screaming child whose mother is lost amongst the chaos once the museum's power shuts off. He distracts the guards easily. Selina hides away the art, replaces the forgery on the wall, and goes to find her little stray. And Danny is clinging hysterically to The Batman, refusing to be pried off by security guards and museum workers. He's straight up sobbing. Talking about how he loves Batman and Robin, his family is dead, he wants to be Robin, did you know you should be able to see Ursa Major from Gotham but you can't because of the smog, do you think Poison Ivy can just make a lot of trees to unpolluted the air, Nightwing is his favorite superhero, do you think he'll sign an autograph-.

It's astounding how fast that kid can speak while also smearing green snot onto Batman's cape. Danny proves himself to be even more unexpected when he goes off-script, eyeing her and screaming, "Mom!" And Batman's eyes catch hers. Shit. How can she explain a tiny child calling her mother in front of her lover? That'll be an awkward conversation.

Catwoman doesn't take Danny to outings after that. Instead, she has Harley and Ivy take turns "babysitting" (i.e., using Danny as Batfam distractions) while she's at work, kind of like having the fun aunts take you shopping. Danny can do whatever he wants!! With the exception that he needs to be wearing his cat-mask at all times, to properly conceal his identity (neither woman knows he'd already thrown himself at Batman without his mask).

So, while Ivy is destroying a toxic power plant, Danny is stealing Nightwing's escrima sticks, clinging to him, "accidentally" tripping him, doing the Koala-leg thing. He goes all out when Nightwing actually does trip on him - he shrieks that he broke his arm, which forces the vigilante to pay attention to him. Sobs, clings harder, and endures the trip to the hospital on the back of Nightwing's motorcycle with a shit-eating grin.

Harley is beating the hell out of some of Joker's gang. Red Robin is doing surveillance and coordinating with GCPD so they can get the whole circus to Arkham. Except Danny is calling out where Red Robin is hiding with the glittery pink microphone that Harley bought him (originally to sing Doja Cat and Chappell Roan in her car). Joker gang's priority will always be the Batfam because of Joker's obsession with Batman and Danny uses the distraction so Harley can get a couple good swings of her bat in. He cackles maniacally when he hears a muffled, "C'mon, kid!!" from Red Robin.

And the Batkids are just like, Jesus, this kid is literally a nightmare. But they can't do anything! Are they going do arrest a kid? No. Are they going to arrest Batman's lover? No! So, they're stuck dealing with this.... absolute gremlin of a child!!

Danny, of course, is very pleased. The Bats have no idea who he is because of his little cat-mask, he's getting paid literally several grand per week, and Selina - who he's been living with ever since she realized he was homeless - even got him goldfish!

(Bruce is in his office, eyes crinkling in that iconic Dad-Smile, scrolling through candid photos Selina snuck of Danny's chocolate-smeared face while the kid was passed out on her couch. There's a fake ID under the name of Danny Fenton and several pages of foraged school records in a pile on his desk. Bruce eyes his desk drawer where several emergency adoption papers are tucked away.)

it spring :)

More Danny Phantom art ig? Idk. Might as well start drawing my DP x DC art at this point

DPxDC Old Friends

Dick rings the doorbell.

Tim has no idea why they are here. The house his brother is trying to invite himself in looks nice, almost eerily so: walls painted in warm beige, windows so clean they sparkle, a perfectly manicured lawn, and flower beds and bushes without a single bad leaf, neatly cut and shaped to the point where they look like a Pinterest picture. The whole place looks like a photoshopped flyer of American Dream.

Which is exactly why it sets Tim on edge. No one can live their life so perfect.

Maybe it's just his broken arm and concussed head speaking, though. The throbbing pain tends to make him grouchy and distrustful.

Another minute passes in silence.

Dick raises his hand once more, but, just as he is about to press the doorbell again, the door opens. A tall, thin redhead girl with bright freckles sprinkled over her cheeks peeks out, a nice, if slightly awkward smile on her face. Only, as soon as she sees Dick, the smile drops like it was never there, and the girl starts closing the door back, evidently intent on slamming it in their faces.

Dick hastily puts his foot in, preventing it from closing.

"Hey, Jasmine, really sorry to bother-"

"Go to fucking hell," the redhead spits out, looking like she is two seconds away from violence. Tim must say, that reaction actually makes him feel a bit better about the whole situation. Turns out, not everything is picture perfect here, what a relief.

"Who's there?" Comes a voice from somewhere inside the house. Male, from the sound of it, so, maybe a husband?

"No one!" Jasmine yells back, an annoyed hint to her tone.

"Jasmine, please," Dick pleads, not taking his eyes off the girl.

"'No one' like you need the gun, or 'no one' like you need the thermos?" A different, younger voice asks, followed by a loud snort and a bark of a dog.

"My brother is hurt," Dick adds, like it's his last resort of an argument, and Tim huffs, barely holding himself back from elbowing the man in his side. And who's fault is that?..

Yet, that makes the redhead pause. She purses her lips, briefly looks at Tim and the way he's cradling his arm. Then, she sighs, long and exasperated, and lets go of the door, allowing it to open all the way.

"'No one' like I need the medkit," she finally answers to whoever is inside the house, and steps to the side, gesturing for both Dick and Tim to come in. "Comicon alert, everyone, plant your feet on the floor!"

Bruce, introducing his kids at a family Interview: This is my eldest Dick, my second eldest Cassandra, then my son Jason, my second youngest Tim, and my youngest Damian

Bruce: That's my daughter-in-law Barbara, and my other daughter-in-law, Stephanie

Tim: ??? Steph and I broke up forever ago?? How is she your daughter-in-Law?

Stephanie: I may not be dating any of you anymore but I'm the State of daughter-in-law. Daughter-in-law is not a family title, it's the friends you make along the way

Jason: I'm not high enough for this shit

Golden boy Dick Grayson: Me fucking neither

Jason: what

Dick: what

Bruce: ??? What do you mean she's not my daughter-in-law anymore?? I was counting on her marrying into the family :C

Steph: Sorry B, unfortunately your son would rather kiss superbitch than me

Dick: TIM IS KISSING WHO NOW

Bruce: >:( We'll talk about that later, right now-

Tim: I don't think that's necess-

Bruce: We'll talk about that later. Right now can't any of you date her?? Jaylad, you're sin-

Steph: HELL NO

Jason, already on his second blunt: You're so funny, old man. I'm literally co parenting my best friends kid. I'm literallyyyy be gay do crime. Haha.

Dick: YOURE WHAT WITH WHO NOW

Bruce: CAN ANY OF YOU JUST DATE HER

Cass, slowly raising her hand like in Hunger Games: I volunteer

Bruce: ...

Tim: ...

Dick: ...

Bruce: This is why you're my favorite daughter 🥹

Cass: Father, I'm your only daughter

Tim: Untrue. I did drag one time, that has to count

Steph: Does this mean I have a girlfriend

Damian: This family is a disgrace

Interviewer: ...

Ridiculous Dead Serious idea:

Danny is in some kinda competition that Damian is also in, and they’ve been sniping at each other back and forth throughout the whole thing.

Until one day Danny goes, “You want me so bad it makes you look stupid!”

And Damian stops. Considers. Interrogates himself and his motivations like a good detective. Has a facial journey as he goes through the five stages of grief.

Danny was expecting a snide comeback and now he is legitimately worried he’s somehow triggered the snooty rich kid. Trying to decide if he wants to apologize or awkwardly make his way out of the room to give him time to recover.

Damian sorta hates himself because… yeah, yeah he does. He is attracted to the bratty little fucker and has been… pulling pigtails? Antagonizing to remain in his thoughts and field of vision, to watch his face get red and his breath quicken, to make him lean aggressively into his space and growl at him???

Damian is horrified. How did he misjudge himself so badly? Is this how mother felt when she discovered that Father was a complete mess and only fell more in love?

“Uh, dude? Are you… okay?” Danny reaches hesitantly towards him but doesn’t quite touch.

“No,” Damian says, schooling his face into a bland mask. “In fact, I may need you to support me.”

Panic flits across his companion’s face. He rushes to his aid, ducking against his side. His arm wraps around Damian’s back and a hand settles on his waist. Too gullible.

Damian mourns his own good sense.

Damian Wayne, twelve years old, is lost. This is a problem, because he's lost in a void of green and purple.

He'd tried to use a damaged Zeta after a particularly big fight, and found himself...wherever he is.

He clearly isn't on Earth anymore. He's fairly certain he isn't in his dimension anymore. He's about 60% sure he isn't even in reality anymore.

Cautious, he starts to explore this strange land, rappelling from floating island to floating island.

He gets trapped on one of the islands, owned by a very overexcited girl his own age. She has white hair and green eyes, her name is Dani, and she is very clearly lonely.

Dani tells him this is the Infinite Realms. Dani tells him he is a guest in her island.

Dani tells him that he can't leave until she lets him, per The Rules.

While she can float on and off the island, Damian cannot. The only reason he was able to land on the island at all, on her island at all, was because the floating island he was on had been passing hers by.

And that rarely happens.

And Dani is not inclined to let him leave.

To be fair, he is treated very well for a prisoner that isn't a prisoner. He can go wherever he wants on the island, he can eat whatever is prepared and ready, he has access to clothing both simple and extravagant...really, the only thing he isn't allowed to do is leave.

He can't attack Dani, because his weapons don't work on her. He can't attack her with a weapon made from his surroundings, because if he does that, then he really will be stuck.

Plus, he would feel...bad. Dani is, again, clearly a lonely...whatever her species is. She thinks he's her friend, for all that she only shows up on the island sporadically.

He isn't allowed to leave Dani's Haunt, and were he free, perhaps he too would view her as a friend.

As it stands, he can only see her as his warden.

After seven years of arguments and shouting and cold shoulders and mental breakdowns, she finally matures enough to see from his perspective, and steals him a metal ship specifically meant for roaming the Infinite Realms. She also grants him weapons meant to take on beings like her.

She has stolen seven years of his life, and Damian hates that he can't hate her for it.

After all, from what he can tell, her species ages slower than his does, and she's just a child who hasn't aged once in the seven years he's known her.

But he has.

He leaves her island, and finds himself hailed from other people like him on another island. They're...sort of glowing? But not really. Not like Dani was.

And Damian is curious. He goes to take a look.

It's some other humans, like him. They've been trapped on an island that, although it is built upon, does not appear to have an owner, or the owner never shows their face.

Damian lets them aboard his ship, because if he's leaving he's taking these other trapped humans with him. Their names are Kwan, Dash, Dale, Paulina, and their apparent leader, Valerie.

What follows is hell.

Not because of them, but because their island wasn't as abandoned as they thought. There was a being, like Dani, that lived on it. Older than her, this being had white hair and green eyes, and very much looked like it could be related to her.

The being attacked him, trying to get to the humans behind him, and Damian...well, Damian fought back, with the help of Valerie.

But Damian landed the final blow, after severely underestimating how strong one of the weapons Dani gave him was.

Damian won after blasting a hole through the being's chest.

This...was a mistake.

That being was, apparently, the son of the Tyrant of the Infinite Realms; Pariah Dark.

That being was the High Prince.

Damian finds himself hunted, with denizens of the Realms refusing to help him once they learn who's ire he's earned, and suffers.

He's given an artifact that will point them to a natural Portal back to Gotham, his Gotham, and Kwan and Dash accidentally break it. The ghost that granted them the artifact refuses to gift another, realizing they are Hunted by Pariah Dark.

He runs into a group of glowing green blobs that try to eat his new friends, severely damaging the ship.

They get stranded on an island owned by a being called Undergrowth, where Kwan and Paulina get eaten by and turned into plants.

Thus, Damian traded a year of servitude to change them back into human, and was trapped for yet another year.

They leave and skirt by the island owned by some sort of blue-haired siren denizen, only to get into a fight with the Realms version of a Warden, losing Dash and Paulina in the fight.

Damian, deadset on getting back home, told everyone there would be no more stops, but was overridden at the sight of a gorgeous jungle island.

That island belonged to a being called Skulker, and Valerie made a grave mistake by hunting on of Skulker's prey while on the island.

The ship is destroyed in Skulker's rampage, and all three of the human's he'd been fighting so desperately to save were lost. Damian, desperate not to fall, ended up grabbing onto a very small floating island, more of a rock, before falling off of it after an indeterminate amount of time.

Damian is, once again, alone.

Damian is, once again, on Dani's island, where he landed after falling.

He's right back where he started.

But Dani, after expressing nothing but joy at seeing him again, comes back to her senses.

She gets another being from the Realms, one by the name of Clockwork.

Clockwork, who tells him something he'd been deliberately not thinking about.

He's been trapped in the Infinite Realms for twenty years.

There's no telling how much he's missed, but from the brief flash of what Clockwork showed him, his assumed death was not well-received.

But Clockwork makes a bargain with him.

Clockwork will return Damian to his own time, altering it so that it's only been a few weeks, so long as Damian dismantles something called the GIW.

The catch is that Clockwork can only deage his body so much, and Damian will be going back as an 18 year old; seven years older than he was when he left.

Damian, desperate, agrees.

Clockwork reaches out his hand...and Damian wakes up on a rooftop, in a younger body, dressed in regal robes from Dani's island.

The robes are a message; that it was not a feverdream.

If Damian wants to stay in Gotham, in his home dimension, he needs to take down the GIW as soon as possible.

Or; Damian is Odysseus in DCxDP version of the Odyssey. Danny is adopted by Pariah Dark, and when he got defeated in combat by Damian Pariah took it personally. Danny recovered with the help of the Yetis, and has been hunting down and rescuing Dash, Kwan, Dale, Valerie, and Paulina, who fell into the Infinite Realms after trying to get involved in a play fight between Danny and Wulf. Every time they fell or got captured, Danny was right there getting them out. He was one step behind them the entire time. Dani does age, but her island is in a weird time area of the Zone, so it hasn't been years for her, and she thought Damian had a weird disease that made him age super fast, hence why she didn't want him to leave; she wanted to find a cure. Clockwork didn't like the timeline left by Damian disappearing for twenty years, and needs a cover to send Damian back, hence the deal. Why should Jon be the only one who gets a weird age up that takes place in a few weeks? Lets let them have a shared experience.

You know how there’s the trope of Tim having to carry Dani/Ellie like a pregnancy until she stabilizes? I want that but with Dick.

Give me screaming, crying, emotional Dick Grayson. He’s pregnant and he’s not afraid to let everybody suffer for him! Emotional control who? He’s pregnant, he doesn’t have to hold anything back.

„Those aren‘t the right chocolates!“

„What do you mean I look fat?! I am carrying a baby! I‘m creating life! You have no idea what it’s like!“

„I hate you! You will never see your grandchild! That’s what you get!“

Give me screaming crash out Grayson, with waterworks and everything. Meanwhile Danny is coming in the few calm moments to look if everything‘s okay, absolutely oblivious to the stress the rest of the family is under.

„What no! I‘m fine, you don’t have to stay, it’s only a few more months. Call me when you get back to your castle? Love you, bye!“

Damian hides in his room bc Dick keeps hugging him and not letting him go, crying about his baby growing up too fast.

Jason came by once to laugh and promptly got forced to cook for Dick, then he had to feel his stomach and listen to Dick tell him how perfect his baby is. All while Damian struggled to get free. They got saved by Tim asking about the babies room in the manor.

Bruce is on such fragile ice right now, he once breathed wrong and got pelted by pillows until he left the room. He is also the first to spend a fortune on baby safety so he could make the manor not blacklisted by Dick for visits.