The Changes You Get When Starting T Are Wonderful And Should Be Celebrated.

being a trans man is fucked because people who hate women still hate us for being women but also people who hate men hate us for being men

and the second group says they're actually being good and supporting us and affirming us by hating us, and then everyone agrees, including a whole bunch of other trans people, even including trans men. somehow

It's because these people see "transandrophobe" as another word for trans women.

They assume anyone who agrees with the term is a trans man (yay, misgendering!) and that when we talk about people being transandrophobic, we all secretly mean "all trans women and transfems"

they refuse to acknowledge what transandrophobes actually are: anybody who is being a massive bigot to trans men, regardless of gender.

„Yeah transandrophobia is an ideology that believes misandry is real and trans women oppress trans men“ where. Please. I have been following this tag for months and I have not once seen this. I have only seen posts where people explicitly say that this is NOT what they believe. Like do y‘all just make this up? Or are you seriously this misinformed. I genuinely don’t know.

Was doing some light reading, and came across this paper that reminded me of discourse from a few weeks back.

Anyone remember when that post was floating around about how "theyfab" was actually invented by transfems to make fun of trans men/enbies who use their AGAB as a shield to protect themselves against criticism? Basically leveraging "oh I'm just a female, I'm so innocent", strawman bullshit?

Then others chimed in about how it actually came from 4chan as a way to mock enbies who aren't "trans enough"?

Well, here's an actual academic source on the issue, to shove a knife in this whole argument, as I'm sure it'll pop up again:

...

Sure looks like the "transandrobros" were right once again

Straight from an actual academic paper

"Theyfab" is infact 4chan lingo made to shit on people "not doing trans right" and isn't some transfem counter culture buzzword like some people claim it to be

Can we take a moment to think about the younger trans men and mascs on tumblr right now?

I was a teenager when ace and transmed discourses were at their peaks, and I can’t exaggerate how badly it affected me then.

Now trans men are the latest target, and I’m terrified for trans kids.

It’s easy to say “intracommunity discourse is an online problem! Go talk to queer people irl!”, but people forget that so many kids and teenagers do not have safe or reliable access to IRL LGBT+ communities and support groups. For many, online spaces are the only option.

We need to make sure the younger members of our community are being heard, and block out the hateful voices with messages of support and encouragement. Things are bad enough for trans people right now, and it's easy to forget that trans minors are often the ones suffering the most.

To any younger trans men or transmasculine people reading this:

The hate you are experiencing isn’t normal, it hasn’t always been like this, and it won’t always be this way. It is bleeding out from a small, miserable group of self-absorbed jerks.

Don’t feel obligated to call them out, don’t feel like you have to interact with these people. Please don’t doomscroll through discourse tags; it will make you feel like everyone is out to get you.

If you want to speak up for your community, that’s fine, but please take a break if you feel like your mental health is worsening. Block anybody who so much as breathes rudely in your direction.

You’re just as trans as the rest of us. You are welcome here.

Oh, and if you want to seek out external resources and groups, PFLAG helped me a lot when I was younger. It is an American-based organization, however, so if anyone has recommendations for those living outside of the US, please let me know in the reblogs!

I'm so over self described "TME" folks, who are beyond white, making posts either:

- "We are less oppressed bc (makes up a person of color), is more oppressed so tmes- (proceeds to be transphobic) (white savior moment)

- Wishing to commit hate crimes against supposed "TME"s

- Generally being horribly transphobic hiding it behind "protecting trans fems" or "THEYRE WHITE THEY/THEMS" etc

Like you just sound like a toxic asshole. The amount of trans folks who call themselves tme just projecting their insecurities, jealousy, etc. on other trans masculine folks, esp those talking about their own oppression?

They're being transphobic, straight up. Even racist as a treat.

Nobody asks you to do this, it is detrimental and also just plain nasty, like congrats your transition was so easy, you think this is so easy? Sounds like you just want a reason to be nasty and continue to not unlearn internalized everything because you're white and had an ~easy~ time transitioning or whatever.

It is so annoying when people respond to "the queer community has an anti-masc problem" with "well society loves and praises masculinity!" Okay... yes... but that's not what we're talking about 😭 The queer community ≠ society as a whole. Also? The society that praises masculinity does NOT praise queer masculinity. Cishet society does not praise butches, masculine trans people, or anyone who is masc in a queer way. And unfortunately, many queer people have this same problem.

Intersex people: Please don't use these words, they are slurs against us.

official-penis-posts: Uh, that's too complicated... I'm scared... why are you all so mean to me...

Here we have, yet another intersexism train wreck involving a gimmick blog!

Our saga starts here. This original ask was tagged with "#intersex appreciation" for context.

Next we have, how not to respond to being corrected on your intersexism!

Imagine if someone used literally any other queerphobic slur & stereotyped a group of queer people. Now imagine someone took the time to clarify why this is bad and that alternative words exist - and then their response was "ok whatever block me".

You'd be dragged and publicly derided as a queerphobic bigot if this was about any other group in the queer community. But not when it's intersex people. We are considered an acceptable target, and our voices are seen as "tumblr level reading comprehension", and people love to "correct" others using more slurs.

You are right, official-penis-posts, that is another slur. And how did you respond?

Not well. To say the least. "Because everything's a slur" you sound like an anti-woke podcast guy.

"I live in the real world"? Seriously? I do too, @official-penis-posts, and my real world involves being called a fucking hermaphrodite in an urgent care by an actual medical professional who very rudely questioned why my genitals were weren't (typo) "corrected" (mutilated) when I was a child. It involves people calling me a futanari in high school. It involves people being disgusted at what "a real hermaphrodite's" genitals look like when I decide share that as a sexually active adult.

And for the record the anon correction is wrong here too, hermaphrodite is a slur in every context and has referred to intersex human beings long before it was ever used for cosexual animals. Stop saying fucking slurs.

Hello person who runs the penis gimmick blog, as an intersex person who used to follow you and thinks dick jokes are funny; I'd like you to apologize for your intersexism and the way you responded to intersex people correcting you. Intersexism is an incredibly widespread form of bigotry, most people have intersexist ideas and worldviews unless it is corrected. What I dislike is the way you have dismissed intersex people's concerns as overdramatic whiney nonsense and chose to just delete your posts to save face instead of apologizing.

"If men could get pregnant, abortions wouldn't be a problem!"

"If men could get periods, all period products would be free and accessible!"

SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP.

‼️‼️‼️ STOP IGNORING AND EXCLUDING TRANS MEN‼️‼️‼️

Bigots in the tag, with their full chest: "Trans men only use the word transandrophobia to complain about trans women!"

Actual posts in the tag:

"My ex assaulted me when I came out as trans, because he thought getting me pregnant would make me stop taking T."

"My mom told me that transitioning would make me aggressive and sexist, because testosterone is an evil hormone."

"I wish people here were nicer to trans men. It feels like the farther along I get in my transition, the more I am excluded by the LGBT+ community."

Like, go ahead and say you've never actually listened to a trans man when he's talking about his oppression. Transandrophobia is NOT about trans women, it's about the struggles trans men and transmascs face.

Them having a word doesn't hurt you, stop being a massive pissbaby.

I think at the end of the day, my opinion on all flavors of LGBT+ label discourse will always be: “If you do not belong to a community, you do not get to decide what words that community gets to coin and use.”

If you’re not ace, you shouldn't tell ace people they’re not allowed to use aspec or aphobia.

If you’re not intersex, you shouldn't tell intersex people they’re not allowed to use intersexism or CAGAB.

If you're not a trans woman, you shouldn't tell trans women they can't use the word transmisogyny.

If you’re not a trans man or transmasc, you’re not allowed to tell them they can’t use transandrophobia. And you certainly can’t redefine the word to suit your arguments against it.

Hell, even if you are a part of a community, you don’t get to decide what words OTHER PEOPLE can use.

I’m agender. I don’t like it when people refer to me as an “enby” bc I’m not a huge fan of the word, but it’s not my place to tell other nonbinary people they’re not allowed to use it just because I personally dislike it.

You’d have to be a grade-a asshole to think otherwise.