It’s Hard Out Here For A Baby-faced Demon

Photo in the bathroom at the only lesbian bar in Kyoto

Adam: I’m cold.

Ronan: Here, take my coat.

Blue: I’m cold too.

Blue: …Gansey!?

Gansey: Here Adam take my coat too! You can never be too warm!

Weeping Mary.

"#and now i'm thinking about the fic#where ronan and gansey-on-fire#accidentally get married" Now you clearly need to write that!

I nominate anyone else to write it! Which is what I told allthroughoursplendor. And then she told me I was no fun, which is accurate! 

But if I WAS writing it Adam and Blue would mostly find this hilarious, since neither of them were even thinking about getting married so it’s not like it changes their immediate plans, and it would change literally nothing about Gansey and Ronan’s relationship. Because seriously. Gansey and Ronan the two-headed creature. Gansey and Ronan of the “this is precisely why I didn’t want to have a baby with you.” Like, Gansey was always going to be the first person to the hospital/jail/moving van rental place anyway. Just now he can do all of the shit he was doing for Ronan before with an added legal benefit. 

You know, until Helen and/or Declan is just like ‘seriously you guys, the Gansey parents are displeased and your taxes are going to be fucked and this is not cute or funny, no Helen stop laughing, it’s really not funny.’ Helen thinks it’s kind of funny. 

Adam’s mostly like, “WE LEFT YOU ALONE FOR A WEEK?” 

And Blue chimes in with, “YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO GO CAMPING, WHY WERE YOU EVEN IN VEGAS?”

And Ronan says, “Camping got boring, Vegas had better food.” 

Gansey sniffs and just says, “the Grand Canyon was a thing of splendor Ronan, I don’t know what’s wrong with you. We didn’t even get to take a donkey into the bottom.” 

Blue rolls her eyes. “At least being married hasn’t changed you into people who aren’t contrary assholes.”

“The coyotes were making Chainsaw nervous.” 

“The lack of A/C was making you nervous, more like,” Adam says, because he has heard Ronan whine about the heat in his apartment SO MANY TIMES. 

Ronan gives him his best shit eating grin.

“That’s gotta be a five hour drive,” Blue says. 

“Three hours, fifty minutes,” Ronan breaks in. 

Blue huffs. “Why can’t you just do whims like the rest of us? Maybe get a different haircut or paint your nails something fancy?”

“What are you saying about my hair?” Gansey asks. 

At the same time Ronan says “My nails are already fucking fancy enough. Plus I let Noah paint them black that one time and it took forever to get that shit off.” 

And that’s when Adam starts laughing because holy shit their boyfriends are the most ridiculous people on the fucking planet and that’s the only explanation. “Let me see it.” 

“You okay being my mistress then?” Ronan pulls a thin gold band out of his pocket and tosses it at Adam who catches it mid-air and turns it over. 

“Mistress,” Adam says, and giggles in spite of himself. “It sounds so clandestine and exciting. Not at all like I have to put up with your socks on my fucking pillow.”

“My socks are a gift and so are the feet that go in them.”

“Gansey, make your husband behave,” Blue says, just trying it out. She finds this is also hilarious and joins Adam in the giggling.

“I still don’t want to have a baby with you,” Gansey says with fake misery, just to make sure it stands. 

“That’s what the mistress is for. Right, Parrish?” 

Adam closes his fist around the ring and punches Ronan lightly in the shoulder.

And that’s how Ronan and Gansey are married for a whole two weeks or something before older heads prevail and they have it annulled on the grounds it was never consummated. Ronan chimes in that he consummated it many times, just with someone else. Blue says that that’s not what consummated means. Adam says nothing. He just rolls his eyes a hundred times, because seriously you guys. Why can’t we ever doing anything the way normal people do it? How do we always find ourselves in these situations? You guys, seriously.  

»we change each other« by shilpa gupta (+)

The creatures here don’t seem to like us.

“You each get your own private room.”

You fools. You think this will stop me, a fanfic writer, from writing those OTP moments? The gay is only beginning, my friends.

Please consider:

- “I had to jump three balconies and crawl up two flights to see you”

- “I’m stuck in the stairwell to your room because there’s another couple making out and they’ll spot me”

- “our rooms are right next to each other but we still text all the time”

- “you live down the hall from me and it’s only now that I’m realizing that you have the cutest pajamas ever”

- “you play shitty music at 3 in the morning and I’m not afraid to kill you”

- “you’ve been reading those notes out loud for the past four hours and I’m just listening in because I’m learning more from you than I did the entire two weeks of lessons”

- “dude you’ve been playing sad music for the past three days are you okay”

- “I’m the stress baker and you’re the stress eater and we’re always stressed so we end up become best friends”

- “I tried to do laundry for the first time ever and it looked easy but now there’s soap everywhere and all my white clothes are pink will you stop laughing and help me please”

- “we’re study partners before we moved into the dorms so we don’t change anything but we do find out that everyone else thinks we’re dating so they end up leaving us alone to study how convenient”

- “someone keeps stealing my favorite socks and when I find out who I’m going to strangle them with their shoelaces”

- “someone through the gaudiest pair of shoes up on the roof who in their right mind would wear those - oh they’re YOUR shoes?”

- “I ran out of hygiene supplies so I’m borrowing yours but I keep forgetting to buy more so we always share but I end up liking you a lot so I always say I ‘forgot to buy more’ and I think you’ve caught on but you’re not saying anything”

- “I have twelve tons of homework I kept putting off but you’ve had yours done for weeks but you won’t let me copy so I have to sneak into your room for the answers and wow you really love weird socks”

- “you keep burning candles and the smell keeps drifting over to me and I’d usually be fine with that but you have a terrible taste in candles”

Guys this is our chance for every single “dorm room shenanigans” thing EVER

andrew minyard: “andrew had made it very clear the first time he kissed neil how important an actual ‘yes’ was. this casual surrender wasn’t genuine consent.” joseph kavinsky: “consent is overrated.” yall: wow! theyre basically the same person omg !!!!!! 

adam:

gansey: adam i would die for you

gansey giving blue a mint leaf to chew on any time he wants to kiss her. blue accepting it, a part of her realizes this is the way gansey kisses her. when blue runs her tongue across her teeth well after she has disposed of the mint leaf she feels a small thrill from the after taste. the dull taste of mint is what she imagines gansey’s tongue would taste like. she wonders if she’ll ever be able to kiss him as long as the taste lingers in her mouth. she counted 6 hours. will she ever be able to monopolize gansey’s time for an entire 6 hours with her lips pressed against his?

ronan chewing on the leather bands around his wrist when ever he wants to taste adam. adam doesn’t know, and ronan will not be the one to tell him. though with the way ronan looks at adam when he’s toying with a band between his teeth, he wouldn’t be surprised if adam hasn’t picked up on it already. he’ll continue doing it anyway, it’s his own guilty pleasure.

ronan and blue up in the middle of the night, staring at their respective ceilings, and thinking, “this is it, this is the closest i’ll ever get.”