People Horrifically Fucking Up Facts About Evolution And Genetics Too Support Their Stupid Beliefs Or

so don’t get me wrong because a lot of arthurian stuff is super misogynistic. but it’s never really in the damsel in distress way you expect. like the most helpless damsel is lancelot trapped and crying in a tower, completely useless, until this random girl who made him behead a guy in front of her fifty pages ago rolls up with a pickax and rope and is like “ok I’m minecrafting you out of here.” and this works.

Geological horror. You find a geode and crack it open and the crystal lining its walls is human blood that can't be genetically matched to anyone. You find a human skeleton but every one of the bones is made from rock, a rock that you know can't be whittled into those shapes. You find layers of clay and loam that sport ancient fossils at the top and the still-rotting corpses of modern animals at the bottom.

One time my rabbi told us, “imagine you had a box with a little bit of god in it. What would you do with the box?”

So we were like ?? “We’d protect it and keep it nice and clean and polished” and he was like “your body’s that box. Stop eating markers”

Apparently “what ho!” is a corruption of Beowulf’s “hwaet!”?? 

Now need a P.G. Wodehouse translation of Beowulf.

What ho! Have you heard of these chaps, Dashed good fellows with a spear and whatnot–

all right which one of you motherfuckers decided not to call ace awareness week the acepocalypse

Asexuality is like

Someone: There are plenty of fish in the sea!

Ace: Yeahhh, I don’t eat seafood.

Certain words can change your brain forever and ever so you do have to be very careful about it.

(◡‿◡✿)

(ʘ‿ʘ✿) “what you say ‘bout me”

(ʘ‿ʘ)ノ✿ “hold my flower”