Who’s Ready For A ✨bébé Caf Heist✨

Doin Art Fight for the first time! My first attack of @neon-virus ‘s character! I hope you like it!

Idk if I’ve mentioned this before but in the animagus AU, Fox is an actual fox animagus. Because of that, in his shifted form, he’s just a kit. Since he got outed as an animagus, he’s often expected to make random shows to the public in his shifted form. At first Palpatine tried to take advantage to claim he’s such a loving and caring chancellor. But then the first time Fox was shifted around him happened.

Fox as a human is very confident and tired. Fox as a kit is very scared and nervous. Which lead to him straight up cowering in fear of the chancellor. Which lead to rumors (fueled covertly by clones that suspect some shit goin on) that the chancellor abuses animaguses.

Which leads to people dredging up an 11 year report of Master Jinn refusing to let his grandpadawan alone with the chancellor cause he himself has raised multiple boys and knows that old men asking to be alone with them is NEVER good.

Which leads to rumors that Palpatine isnt… nice… to animaguses. Which leads to them assuming Palpatine abuses commander Fox.

Can you see where I’m going with this? Cause this is where the start of Palpatine’s decline happened.

Tv show AU - gag reel

Jesse: shh! Here comes Dogma.

Dogma: *walks in eating a HUGE sandwich that was NOT in the original script*

*cut take*

Dogma: *walks in with comically large sunglasses like nothing’s going on*

*cut take*

Dogma: *slides in on heelys and eating ice cream*

*cut*

Dogma: *walks in pointing at Jesse* BITCH

*camera pans to Jesse rolling on the floor breathless with laughter*

Too busy to actually write to have a plot instead:

Cody, Wolffe, Ponds, Bly and Rex go to a creepy castle as part of a mission, the data is vague and the source anonymous but their generals agreed to spare them for it and so they went.

Yellow eyes watch from the parapets and a fanged smile forms. It reaches into the Force and leans. The smile widens.

At first they think it’s a waste of time, until the first scream echos down the halls. They can’t determine where it’s from. But they know who it is.

Fox.

They split into smaller groups to search and find Fox first on the security cameras, emaciated and scarred being dragged by a cloaked figure across the uneven stone floor.

They rush to that corridor. He’s not there.

The first time they see him in person he’s across a gap to wide to cross, there’s no direct path. Again, he’s gone when they get there.

This thing is playing with them. It has their brother. And they can hear it talking, along with Fox’s screams they hear it. A voice they can’t pin telling Fox he’s alone, unloved, good for nothing but to serve as a battery and a pet, that nobody’s coming for him if they were they’d have come by now. Nobody cares he’s gone, he might as well give up.

How long has he been here…?

Coruscant has been comm silent for so long.

The first time they see him in person (through a window)and on camera they have to acknowledge the possibility that whatever thing is here, its messing with them. Taking their deepest fears and playing with them while Fox isn’t here at all. But what if he is? They can’t leave him here.

The screams sound so agonised, so real.

They keep searching.

Wolffe alone finds Fox first. Cradles him close as he tries to remove the metal shackles. Fox is barely conscious, barely with it, too thin and too scarred in his arms and the scars are deep, some look like they should have been fatal. Wolffe promises he loves his brother. Wolffe promises he’ll get him away from the Sith, get him somewhere safe.

Fox laughs, “you’ve already failed, I’m not the Sith who has your brother, I’m not the one who made these scars and screams” and Wolffe sees yellow eyes and fangs and darkness rushes in.

Cody, Rex, Ponds and Bly can’t find Wolffe or Fox…

It picks them off, one by one.

In a dungeon below the castle in a cell together they wake, and Fox walks towards them. But not Fox, because it has fangs and leathery wings and yellow eyes.

It taunts them. Fox is in the hands of a real Sith and that knowledge will die here with them.

They disagree.

———

:-D

(In summary: a dark sithly creature lures them in using the real visage of how fox looks under Palpatines ‘care’ and uses his real screams to mess with them. It enjoys suffering and like all Sith feeds off of it and that their fears are reality is even more fun and filling. It plays with them then picks them off while revealing the truth knowing they’ll die knowing they can’t do anything to save Fox.)

Enjoy.

you know how most of the things humans use as spices are poisonous or repellent to most other mammals? and you know how anything vaguely d&d inspired has dwarves being way more poison resistant than even humans?

dwarf cuisine shouldn’t be bland, it should be unimaginably spicy and potentially harmful or fatal to humans. like green potato and rhubarb leaf salad with a festive garnish of yew berries and deadly nightshade berries, that kind of thing.

Looking back, the first sign that something's wrong was that the human had been gone for hours. There aren't many place to go on a spaceship, and yet Gyali was unable to find her.

Now xe spots the human, Alex, as she's hurrying down the long corridor with a brown paper box in hand and a huge smile on her face. Gyali long ago learned to be suspicious of that smile.

"What's in that box?" Xe steps in front of the human, glaring at said box.

Alex's grin widens, showing all teeth and making Gyali shudder. "Wouldn't you like to know." She coos at the object.

Gyali's scales flutter in confusion. "Yes, that's why I asked."

"Oh. It's just... Stuff."

If possible, Gyali's suspicion levels rise even higher. "What stuff?"

The human shrugs, the movement rattles whatever's inside the box, muffled sounds of scattering emerges from it. The human winces. "Sorry, sorry!" She hushes the box. "It's... Come, I'll show you."

Gyali reluctantly follows after the human. Xe doesn't really want to know, not really. But xe's the human's supervisor, so it's not like xe has any choice, does xe?

They hurry down the remainder of the corridor, the human silent as death, while Gyali's steps echo heavily around them despite xir small size. When they reach Alex's quarter, she lets Gyali in first, then firmly shuts the door. She carefully places the box on her desk, then beams down at Gyali.

"They must have been here since we ported at Earth."

The box opens, and Gyali jumps backwards with a screech. The human doesn't even flinch, the sound must have been over her hearing levels... From the box, two small, furry creatures look up with round, black eyes, both of them baring sets of small, but sharp looking teeth. The creatures are terrifying, yet the human watches them with such adoration, of course she does.

"They are mice." Alex says, as if that explains anything. "I haven't seen one in ages. They are harmless, don't worry."

Gyali continues to worry. "Where did you get them?"

"In the garbage cabin. I was just in time, the cat was hunting them, but I managed to catch them first!" She smiles proudly.

Gyali's scales slowly rise into a defensive position. Xe knows what a cat is. The humans' pet predators, vicious and deadly creatures, absolutely banned from all intergalactic ships.

"What cat." Xe squeezes out.

Alex freezes.

"Alex? What. Cat."

After the 30th planet joined the Galactic Union, product manufacturers who wanted to be 'the best' would put their products through planetary tests. However many planets your product could withstand, the better rating it would get. When the 100th planet joined the GU, the Planetary Product Tests started having a yearly ultimate competition which was broadcasted and the results typically heavily affected prices for the upcoming year.

When humanity joined as the 154th planet, humans were coined one of the top three most destructive species, and thus coveted for the PPT. Humans were more than willing to join, and held their own competition to decide who gets to go attempt to destroy these products every year.

Products put in the PPT ranged from small kitchen utensils to new plating for star ships. No product ever survived all 232 planets and their native beings, but some had gotten upwards of 160. Most product designers would recommend which species their product could withstand and then test against those first.

To prepare for the PPT, many companies would hire several humans to continually test their products throughout the year so they knew their end result would be favorable. The label 'Human Tested' soon became a sought after title in shops across the galaxy. Because if something can withstand those crazy deathworlders, then it should be able to handle anything else thrown at it.

Unfortunately, like anything else humans touched in the GU, the PPT soon had to adopt so many rules and regulations that it choked itself out of it's own market, becoming a fake sponsored event with pre decided winners. Individual companies were now in charge of hiring species to test their products before marketing them, and bribes to correct human organizations meant the 'Human Tested' label appeared on subpar products.

Hiring humans also became expensive, and humans quickly became one of the most trafficked commodities among rich companies. Eventually the GU had to step in. With help from Human, Faetatia, and Aureda law makers, a strict set of laws was created that even the most cunning of humans would be hard pressed to get around.

The PPT was disbanded, and testing had to be submitted to the Testing Agency. The Testing Agency created to employ several of every species and was directly overseen by the GU government. Species could only work at the Testing Agency for three years to minimize potential corruption. And if anyone was found trafficking a human, said human would then get ten minutes to exact revenge before whatever remained was then taken to court.

After some time, certain beings (humans) got nostalgic for the PPT and began buying products to host their own version of it. As they gained popularity, companies would donate new products for their PPT.

And the circle of craziness that makes up human history began again while the GU government regretted ever allowing humans to join in the first place.

I like to imagine that in any atla modern au, aang still, for some reason, finds a reason to beat ozai’s ass

I saw a panphobic post on my dash from someone I thought I could trust, so this is a reminder:

This user supports bisexual people

This user supports pansexual people

This user supports polysexual people

This user supports omnisexual people

Being bisexual is not panphobic

Being pansexual is not biphobic

No sexuality is transphobic

If you don’t support all mspec people equally, then get the fuck off my blog