Office Space: Addendum

My friend has a new album in the works; and released a preview of the title song: Sleepyhead. It’s an achingly beautiful piece; go take a listen.

Sandwich

I have friends that are LGBT and (for reasons that are fairly obvious) refuse to eat at Chick-fil-A. However, they have family that continue to do so; and there's been an ongoing conversation on how said friends might convince said family to desist.

During that discussion, the subject of alternatives came up; and how the competing Popeye's chain serves a superior fried chicken sandwich. I wouldn't know - I've never eaten at Popeye's - but there's one in the area and I was exhorted to try it out.

That's exactly what I did - and what I can say is:

I'm not a huge fan of drive-through, but at least my voice training must be working because I got a "Will that be all, ma'am?"... That made my day!

It was a pretty good sandwich! Definitely a viable alternative to Chick-fil-A's; and also doesn't come tinged with the baggage of homophobia.

Would definitely go again!

Sleeping arrangements

Appleseed - Book 2: Prometheus Unbound by Masamune Shirow

'Standard Clitoris™'

Apologies for those that read the title with confusion and / or an injured sense of propriety; there is critical context here, I promise!

Act I:

Two years ago, I contacted Mt. Sinai's Center For Transgender Medicine And Surgery; with the intent of pursuing gender reassignment.

(The people there are lovely; but this was still an incredibly involved and rather stressful process, as (a) my health insurer required numerous hurdles be jumped before they would authorize the surgery; and (b) the Mt. SInai health system is located in New York, whereas I am quite definitively not.)

I ended up consulting with renowned vaginoplasty surgeon Dr. Miro Djordjevic. For those not in the know, Dr. Miro originates from Serbia; and while he speaks excellent English, he also has a flair for creating unusual turns of phrase that are as delightful as they are unexpected.

To transcribe this conversation (to the best of my recollection):

"Dr. Miro - what level of control do you have over the appearance of the new vulva?"

"Oh, Lauren; many young girls, they come in here with pictures of other women, they say: 'Dr. Miro, please can you make my new vagina look like this'. And I say, 'I cannot, I am sorry; for the final appearance is very dependent on your individual anatomy'. However, I understand this, and I will give you a very good vagina, a very beautiful vagina; you will see."

"Ah! This makes sense to me. Let me rephrase my question: once I am healed, I hope to have my clitoris pierced; but I understand that this requires the anatomy to be a certain way."

"Lauren, in many surgeries, you are the first girl that has asked this. But! The clitoris, this I can change! You tell me what size your clitoris should be, and I will do this for you."

Act II:

Thus, I visited my local piercing parlor; and provided my piercer with a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to specify the exact dimensions and (and other qualities) of the clitoris that they would, in future, be piercing.

The takeaways were surprisingly straightforward:

The clitoris needed to be large enough to pierce (with an overall diameter of 10mm suggested as an appropriate target).

There needed to be sufficient space between the clitoris and clitoral hood to comfortably fit a Q-Tip.

So armed, I prepared for the day of surgery (a tale in its own right).

Act III:

It is the 9th of February, 2023; and I am currently sitting in the pre-op room, meeting the vast team of individuals who will shortly be participating in the surgical revamp of my genitalia (or the critical task of ensuring that I remain wholly unconscious during said revamp, but not so unconscious that, say, my heart stops).

It is here that I see Dr. Miro once again; and remind him of our previous conversation and my subsequent fact-finding mission regarding clitoral anatomy as it pertains to piercing suitability:

"Okay, so: my piercer says that the clitoris should be around 10mm in diameter; and that there should be enough space between the clitoris and hood to fit a Q-Tip."

...To which Dr. Miro wryly shook his head, and proceeded to hew from his English lexicon a brand-new term that has lived with me ever since:

"Lauren, Lauren! Why didn't you say? This is Standard Clitoris™! This is what I was going to give you anyway!"

...And so it was, as I rapidly drifted towards my robotically-assisted neovaginal destiny (and away from consciousness), that the primary thought looping through my mind was: "I should have known: the Standard Clitoris™"!

Some observations:

"No new sculpts after the fact."

Games Workshop have been transparent about their 10th Edition roadmap; which includes releasing a new codex for each faction, to bring them into line with the new rule set.

Between the rapid pace of release and the focus on mechanical changes, most of the codexes have been accompanied by a modest number of new models at best.

Games Workshop previewed a single new Adeptus Custodes model at the start of March: the Shield-Captain. One hardly requires inside insight to deduce that the Custodes probably won't be getting more models in the immediate near future.

"Social media department jumped the gun and tried to put out fires with the wrong hose."

This is an attempt to discredit Games Workshop's immediate response, via Twitter, that female Custodes are canon (both in the present setting, and retroactively throughout the setting's history).

Discreditation only makes sense if one assumes the following:

First, that there are actual 'fires' (i.e. that this change is impacting Games Workshop's business model in some capacity). There is no evidence that this is the case: the complaints are coming from a small minority of fans; and specifically, far-right fans.

(Games Workshop have previously sought to distance themselves from the latter; ironically, because said association does pose a threat to the business model).

Second, that the company's social media team are either able to announce major lore changes without first consulting with the relevant internal parties, or that they face no consequences for doing so.

(This would appear not to be the case, given that the relevant Tweet remains publicly viewable, and no retraction has been issued.)

"Intent is to push female Custodes character in Amazon show without it 'breaking lore' because Amazon execs wanted a woman in power armor and wouldn't settle for SoB."

There's a lot to unpack here.

The idea that Amazon executives perceive power armor as a majorly marketable concept is ludicrous; as is the idea that they are sufficiently well-versed in lore to accurately differentiate between the Adeptus Custodes and the Sisters Of Battle.

(These are matters of interest for the kind of nerds that comprise the fandom; and not high-level entertainment industry management.)

Let's just assume for a second that this is true, however: then why on earth would said executives try to soft-launch what they believe to be a highly-marketable concept via codex microfiction?

After all: such executives are famously fearless when it comes to meddling with source material; yet we are supposed to believe that they feel it important these changes are reflected in a rules supplement?

And that brings us to...

"...Cavill threatening to walk away from the project."

Henry Cavill famously quit the cast of The Witcher because it diverged too far from the source material. Now he's working on developing Warhammer: 40,000 content for Amazon; not as actor (although he'll undoubtedly feature), but as executive producer.

The aforementioned Amazon executives would be displaying an incredible lack of business acumen in attempting to force source material changes on a star actor and producer who has been quite clear in his refusal to accept such changes.

"GW figures it can ride it out if it stays mum on the subject."

An interesting note here: to 'stay mum' is a British idiom (i.e.: "Remain quiet"). And yet earlier, the same author used the word 'armor' (and not it's equivalent British spelling, 'armour').

This is purely speculatory on my part; but I'm inclined to believe that the author is American. If so, this raises questions about how precisely they acquired inside information from a company headquartered in another country (which is precisely why they are cosplaying as a Brit).

(It has also been my observation thus far that the majority of fans kicking up a fuss over female Custodes are far-right-aligned Americans. British fans are, of course, equally capable of overreaction; but there's been a very specific culture war aspect to the complaints that is very much a hallmark of American conservatism.

This is worth noting for a variety of reasons; but one of the most pertinent is that the American far-right utilizes a "Ends justify the means" approach to debate; i.e. outright fabrication of evidence is entirely permissible.)

Last, but not least:

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood. Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Any party treating any part of the original post as fact is either deeply unaware of the lack of credibility inherent to anonymous image boards, or is so entrenched in their position that they are willing to accept and endorse non-credible evidence.

Neither is a good look.

I found the original because I kept seeing this being quoted at random.

To everyone crying because "GW is making fun of us, they think we're stupid😡", yes. Yes you are. Yes you are if you believed this obvious troll.

They even added the "trust me bro, my dad works at Nintendo".

Once upon a time, there was British company that operated a series of entertainment venues offering tenpin bowling, arcade games, food, and drink.

(I understand that this is not dissimilar from the popular Dave & Buster’s format; or the Texas-specific Main Event chain that the former acquired.)

I was employed in one such venue as an ‘Alleycat’; which is a whimsical appellative for someone that served the bowlers (and thus prevented them from leaving their lane, and delaying the game schedule).

As such, I had unfettered access to the various drink dispensers (both alcoholic and non-); including the soda fountain.

At the urging of my housemate, I recreated a beverage from his native Germany - a blend of cola and orange soda referred to by the genericized trademark ‘Spetzi’ (lit. ‘Friend’).

(This may seem a rather unappealing admixture; but it works surprisingly well!)

Unfortunately, the budget for my particular location was mismanaged; and I found myself working many shifts with a sub-skeleton crew. This spurred a search for a suitably sugary beverage to fuel the Alleycats.

The result: a combination of 3 parts pure Icee syrup, and 1 part Sprite. This devilishly cloying concoction was dubbed ‘Pixie Juice’ by our resident rave girl (and there’s not a day goes by that I miss its saccharine embrace).

Some examples!

Dr Pepper and Coca-Cola

Vanilla Coca-Cola with Orange Sunkist

Strawberry Fanta and Sprite

Mtn Dew and Blue Powerade

Root Beer and Ginger Ale

If you’d like, please comment with your favorite combinations!

Double oh-no

I swear, self-administering an intramuscular injection is like flying a space shuttle. It seems so simple - all you are trying to do is move an object in space from Point A to Point B - and yet there are so many little variables you have to keep track of; any which of one could result in a catastrophic failure if not accounted for.

Tonight I did my Estradiol shot; and I swear in short order I:

Couldn't relax my thigh muscle (despite my best efforts);

Inserted the needle at an angle;

Hit a vein on the way in (unavoidable, but annoying).

I'm not sure what the problem was with (1) - maybe the way I was sitting? I suspect (2) is because you are supposed to make the skin taut, and I've been doing that by pulling it in a single direction... Maybe I need to stretch it taut instead?

The things I put myself through for the sake of aligning my mind and body...

“The Importance Of Having Focus”

A Familiar Comedy for Inattentive People.

Act I.

LAUREN.

[Stiffly.] Good heavens, my back! This suffering is most insufferable; one would pen a remonstrative missive to the Times, were such an endeavor permissible in the purview of one’s own pernicious musculature!

LAUREN.

[Crossing room.] Oh, ibuprofen; faithful, dependable ibuprofen! Come to me now; I require release from the animosities of this fractious anatomy. [Opens bottle and swallows pill.]

Act II.

LAUREN.

Wait.

LAUREN.

…That was the cat’s thyroid medication.

LAUREN.

[Exclaimingly.] Fuck.

…And again in the season one Babylon 5 episode, “Infection”:

“You and the rest, you forgot the first rule of the fanatic: when you become obsessed with the enemy, you become the enemy!”

That JMS repeated himself virtually verbatim goes to show that this is a message he felt very strongly about (and rightfully so)!

That video of Alex Hirsch reading S&P notes for Gravity Falls conveys a few things to me:

1) the U.S. entertainment industry (especially animation) is run by older conservative types who make up offensive terms and get really mad about them.

2) the people who run Disney would be the first to fall in line with a fascist regime.

3) most of the media we consume is tailor-made and watered-down to appeal to the tastes of older, deeply religious conservative audiences.

4) conservatism, not the left, is and always has been the biggest voice of censorship in American culture.

Dancing

I did not dance in in my past life. At various points I was cajoled into the act, which resulted in a display lacking any kind of gracefulness or aesthetic pleasure.

I played a lot of Dance Dance Revolution, which I love dearly but resembles actual dancing in much the same way that Jazzercise resembles actual jazz.

Post-HRT, I found myself spontaneously dancing; while enjoyable for me however, I doubt the end result was particularly enjoyable for anyone else.

Recently my spouse has made a point of impromptu slow-dancing with me. This is not a new thing per se; but they have very sagely opted to start taking the lead.

That’s how I found myself this afternoon, hand in hers, eyes closed. It was then that I experienced what I can only describe as a profound moment of rightness, and I was so overcome that I burst into tears and was rendered speechless.

I can’t stop thinking about it. For one, singular moment, I didn’t feel like a work in progress; or an imposter; or a woman with an asterisk over her gender. I felt like a girl; the girl I always had been and will be.

I look forward to more moments like this!