Eurovision 2023: The Show Of Unfairness And The Triumph Of People’s Hearts

Eurovision 2023: the show of unfairness and the triumph of people’s hearts

My god, this year left me exhausted.

It’s 1:30 am, the Eurovision Grand Final just ended and I am starting to write this post now, because I need some time to calm myself before going to bed. And maybe putting down some thoughts about this year will help me find some peace - at least for a couple hours.

This year has not been what was supposed to be, starting from the show and ending with the winner.

But let’s start from the beginning.

______________________________

Ukraine: robbed of their own show

We all know Ukraine couldn’t host Eurovision in their country because of the war, so they asked the UK to do that.

And the UK tried to be a good host. They reminded us of the reason why Ukraine couldn’t do it, they tried to call Ukrainian artists and make the show about them… only to systematically forget it two minutes later and start acting as if they won and this was their show.

I hope now you understand why last year I said to not give them power over anything. The UK has a tiny little problem called “massive ego” and if you give them a little crumb, they will immediately scarf the whole cake down.

This year should’ve been 70% Ukraine themed and 30% UK themed. What we had instead was the other way around: the UK gave us a tiny little interval show in the semifinals about Ukraine, then a massive show all about the UK.

The Gran Final has been the icing on this disgusting cake. It started with a bang, featuring all of our favourite Ukrainian artists in the span of five minutes: Tina Karol (I had no idea she was Ukrainian, what a nice surprise!), goddess Verka, my beloved Go_A with The Only Queen That Matters, aka Kateryna Pavlenko. And, of course, our favourite winners: the Kalush Orchestra. Man Carpet is still an icon and I still wonder what the singer sees behind that pink hat, but I don’t care. It’s perfect, it’s great, I want this but 200x more. I want them to steal the show, I want them in all interval acts. But no worries, I’m sure they will definitely appear more during the final. I mean, there’s no way the UK called them just to appear for 20 seconds, right? Right?

Oh sorry, my bad. I forgot this isn’t Ukraine’s show, this is UK’s show. We should definitely have Sam Ryder in the interval act and we should definitely make it all about English songs. I mean, it’s not like there are four of the most beloved Ukrainian artists in Liverpool. Let’s make it all a huge masturbation session of the UK instead.

I apologize if my metaphor offended someone, but this is what I felt while watching the UK celebrating itself. Like… can’t you do this in a private room? Do I really have to watch it? This is just one step below Portugal’s show, which showed a massive ego as well and tortured me for three nights straight, by repeating how cool they were and how nice they were and how I would’ve done a great choice visiting them.

But even if that was torture, at least Portugal was the winner of the previous year, not a host masturbating over the fact they are allowed to host a show they didn’t win.

The only choice I fully approve of in this show is the postcards idea: that was very elegant and respectful and I want to thank the person who thought about it. The cards show Ukraine’s beautiful places, UK’s beautiful places and every country’s beautiful places. It’s all beautiful and it’s a great way to both honor Ukraine and emphasize UK’s hosting role, since it looks almost like the UK acts as a “connection” between Ukraine and every other country.

Unfortunately for us, this is the last proof of elegance we will see for the rest of the show.

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Plotting Methods for Meticulous Plotters

A Guide for the Seasoned and the Not-So-Plot Savvy

This is a subject that a lot of writers tend to struggle with. They have ideas, great ideas, but are uncertain how to string them together into a solid plot. There are many methods that have been devised to do so, and most seem to be based on something you might remember:

The 5 Point Method

This is your basic plot diagram:

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Exposition – This is the beginning of your story. This is where you introduce your character (s), establish a setting, and also present your main conflict.

Rising Action – Your story now begins to build. There are often multiple key events that occur where your main character may be faced with a new problem he has to solve, or an unexpected event is thrust at him.

Climax – Everything you’ve been writing has been leading up to this moment. This is going to be the most exciting part of your story where your main character faces the main conflict and overcomes it.

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Resolution – The end of the story.

This is probably the easiest way to remember how to string together a single (or multiple) plots. It may be easier for some to define the main plot as the central conflict: the thing that’s causing your main character a huge problem/is his goal.

The 8 Point Method

This method is used to write both novels and film scripts, and further breaks down the 5 Point Method. From the book Write a Novel and Get It Published: A Teach Yourself Guide by Nigel Watts:

Stasis – The opening where the story takes place. Here you introduce your main character and establish a setting (Watts defines it as an “everyday” setting, something normal, but it can be whatever you want).

Trigger or Inciting Incident – The event that changes your character’s life and propels your story forward. This is where you introduce the main conflict.

The Quest – The result of the event. What does your character do? How does he react?

Surprise – This section takes place in the middle of the story, and involves all of the little setbacks and unexpected events that occur to the main character as he tries to fix the problems he’s faced with and/or achieve his goal. This is where you as an author get to throw complications, both horrible and wonderful, at your protagonist and see what happens.

Critical Choice – At some point your character is going to be faced with making a decision that’s not only going to test him as individual, but reveal who he truly is to the audience. This cannot be something that happens by chance. The character must make a choice.

Climax – This is the result of the main character’s critical choice, and should be the highest point of tension in the story.

Reversal – The consequence of the choice and climax that changes the status of your protagonist, whatever that may be. It could make him a king, a murderer, or whatever else you like but it has to make sense with the rest of the story.

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Act 2, Confrontation – This contains the midpoint of the story, all of the little things that go wrong for the protagonist, and a major plot point towards the end that propels the story into the third act. This is the critical choice the character must make.

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The Snowflake Method

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Write a single sentence to summarize your novel.

Write a paragraph that expands upon that sentence, including the story set up, the major conflicts, and the ending.

Define your major characters and write a summary sheet corresponding to each one that includes: the character’s name, their story arc, their motivation and goal, their conflict, and their epiphany (what they will learn).

Expand each sentence of your summary paragraph in Step 2 into its own paragraph.

Write a one page description of your major characters and a half page description of less important characters.

Expand each paragraph in Step 4 into a page each.

Expand each character description into full-fledged character charts telling everything there is to know about the characters.

Make a spreadsheet of all of the scenes you want to include in the novel.

Begin writing the narrative description of the story, taking each line from the spreadsheet and expanding the scenes with more details.

Begin writing your first draft.

Wing It

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Outlines

Notecards

Spreadsheets

Lists

Character Sheets

And if all else fails, you can fall on the advice of Chuck Wendig: 25 Ways to Plot and Prep Your Story.

Remember, none of the methods above are set in stone. They are only guidelines to help you finally write that novel.

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Updated as of 12/6/2018

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I would love that

Reblog this if its okay for your followers to introduce themselves to you.

Just come to my ask box and tell me stuff about yourself. Your pets. Your favorite music. What you had for breakfast this morning. Literally anything you want, I love making new friends

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papilonblanche - Papillon Blanc
Papillon Blanc

20 something yo dreamer The birds were singing Under the darkest sky above A sinister melody Flowing beyond our world Follow my instagram too: papilon_blanche

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