Dream Job Right Here. Saving The World From Mordo And Other-dimensionly Things Whose Mere Existence Would

Someone once told me things would be better now. Someone lied.

Still not sure what to do with these Amazon gift cards I got for my birthday. Nice gloves for the winter, or Miyazaki movies? Hardest decision ever.

Don't fear The Reaper.

He's bad at board games.

The funniest thing is that the same argument can be given about the F35. Only the F22 wasn't several billion over-budget by the time it started working. To my knowledge, the F35 still doesn't work the way it's "supposed" to.

It sucks being small. No one takes you seriously.

Parents: Why don't get into a relationship and get married? Me: Because I'm fucking ugly, that's why.

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-35226276 I wish I was the most badass of burglars. If I could have anything in the world, it'd be this. Even if it was mine under very shady circumstances.

Well…. This is awkward….

My subordinates think they're all professional as fuck, but when I need things done, they all bitch and make up excuses to not work.