My Little Brother Found Another Alpaca Of A Similar Design At A Thrift Shop, And Now My Alpaca Has A

I know I said “good 4 u” was at my ex best friend, but I don’t really associate it with her, because my little brother introduced me to it in the same hour that I started reading Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo and I always think of Kaz and Inej because of it. Good times.

I so love (no I don't) how my older brother told my little brother that if they had been in the same grade, that my little brother would have absolutely been in my older brother's friend group. And then my older brother also told me that he hates being associated with me. So I think I have a reason to be upset by our relationship.

I just remembered, the whole reason I made a Tumblr account was because a Tumblr person said they wanted to talk to someone about the Magic Thief series, and I had just been thinking about reading them, and then I never did. And that person posted it in January, and I don’t know if they’re still into the series, so. . . I’m not gonna try.

Bruh I'm so platonically in love and simping so hard for my best friend how do I handle this

Do I want to buy it because I wanted to buy it back then and then made a plan to buy it and now I want to feel like I successfully followed through on a plan, or do I actually want it still

currently creating an AMV in my head about characters that will probably never actually be part of the stories I’m writing and therefore wouldn’t have any visuals that I could actually make an AMV out of

it’s really weird to me that my life is MY life. like, it could have been someone else’s life, but instead it’s mine. so what am I gonna do with it?

Why I Can’t Bring Myself to Tell My Friends I Love Them

I used to tell my friends that I loved them all the time. If I saw them doing something I thought was cute, or if they made an awesome joke, or if they tried their hardest on something, or when I would get the occasional rush of gratitude for them, I would tell them. Love was meant to be expressed when they were still there to receive it, and love was meant for everyone. I wanted everyone to know that love was meant to be given liberally.

Back when my ex best friend cared about me, she was so supportive. She would tell me that there was good in the world and there were things to be living for, and she would always be so happy and in love with life. She was a small person, with a round face and the warmest hugs, and she would tell me that I was worth it. That I was worth loving, that I was amazing, that I made her life better. My second new best friend does that too. She does all of that. They’re different people, but in terms of what they provide me they’re nearly the same, and in terms of appearance, they look similar. And that scares me because there’s a reason my ex best friend is no longer my friend, and to see the same feelings start for someone similar is terrifying.

When I finally acknowledged my first best friend after moving on from the last one, I noticed she was giving me everything my ex best friend couldn’t, but I was resigned to the idea that she wasn’t as verbally or physically affectionate. I still love that best friend, but those are my love languages, and I don’t usually get them from other people. And then my second best friend came into my life and gave me exactly what I wanted and needed that was missing from my first best friend. But now there’s a problem. Because my first best friend isn’t very verbally affectionate, she probably wouldn’t like it if I told her I love her, and even if she did, I would be opening up to her too much and that might push her away. My second best friend would absolutely love it if I told her I loved her, but I’m too worried that I’ll put all my energy into that friendship only to slowly realise that I’m not getting anything back.

I want to love them. I do love them. And I always thought it was a cliché motivation when a character was like “I’ve been hurt before and I don’t want to be hurt again”, but that is exactly how I feel and I couldn’t even trust my second best friend when she told me that she would always care about me because that’s what I told my ex best friend and now I hate her with a burning passion. I hate songs like “Night Changes” or “The One That Got Away” because they remind me that something you think will be infinite could end within a moment, and I hate reading fanfics where characters end up far away from each other with no possible way of regaining the relationship they had before and/or in canon because that’s the truth of life. People will come and go and you can’t do anything about it. Love is never going to be enough if it’s only going one way. Life isn’t a show where everything comes full circle; there are going to be loose ends and regrets and there will be no consolation or closure and everyone leaves eventually no matter how much you or they care. I love my best friends now but if I admit it to them then it solidifies the idea that there’s something to lose, and I can’t stand that. I don’t want to be hurt again. Despite how genuine my best friends may be right now, there will be a day where they don’t care. I don’t want to reach that day. I don’t want it to continue to that point. I don’t want to tell them I love them.

I was listening to the Nyan Cat song on Spotify and I kept tuning out so every few seconds I would be like “what is that noise” and then I was like “oh it’s the Nyan Cat song” and then I was like “why is the Nyan Cat song playing” and then I was like “oh wait that’s me”

I will point out the most obvious things like it’s a novelty.

"Wow, Dad, Uncle looks so much like you!"

"That’s because he's my brother."

"Yeah. And he LOOKS it."

Or

"Wow, *voice actor* really sounds like *character*!"

"He voices him."

"Yeah, and he sounds like him too! :)"