Peachesandrain - ❀ You’re On Your Own, Kid ❀

ANIRUDH PISHARODY IS COMING BACK TO 9-1-1 PASS IT ON. RAVI S8 MAIN IN THE WORKS. IM SO HAPPY IM CRYING

The fact that Buck and Eddie can just sit in comfortable silence and be at peace with each other

I leave a part of me everywhere I go. I think most people do, unconsciously. A part of themselves gets left behind and proves to people for decades to come, that they lived. they were there once just like them. existing in the same spaces as them, hundreds of years apart.

I leave a part of me in South Africa every time I part. A country that means so much to me, that my mother grew up in and left behind for a better life. A country I rarely get the chance to go back to, and so cherish every moment with my loved ones when I do. I cry every time I leave, it’s like a part of me is ripped away and left in the country for me to pick back up when I return. every return back is bittersweet. I hold a lot of anger towards my dad for keeping me and my siblings away for so long. I was a child, I deserved to know and see that part of myself too.

I left a part of me in Ecuador a year ago. A country that grew to provide me an escape from the turbulence in my life that surrounded me at the time. It gave me a place to discover myself, to see the world and meet new people, to get away from it all and think. It gave me time to heal most of all. It was a sanctuary. one I didn’t know I need at that point in my life. one I miss every day.

I’ve been to countless countries in my lifetime, every place gives me something I never knew I needed till I got there. every place provides me with a new experience and outlook on life. and while I doubt I’m alone in this feeling, I feel as if words will never be able to convey how much it means to me.

I’m lucky enough to have travelled far, seen different cultures and met people from different walks of life. they will stick with me forever.

sometimes I scare myself with the anger that lies within me. It sits dormant, waiting for the time to rise and make itself known. and when it does, it consumes me and comes out in angry heaving sobs as I gasp to scream what I’ve kept hidden underneath the surface for so long. I can’t remember the last time I was angry and shouted without crying. without the ensuing meltdown that typically follows. maybe it is never truly anger I feel, not wholly anyways. It’s tainted by other emotions, other feelings.

maybe this makes me bitter, at least I think it does to some degree. It scares me how angry I can be sometimes, how much rage I have within me. angry at the people around me, at the world, at the circumstances I am presented with, as I cling to the mere notion it has to be some sort of higher power surely testing me. for what I’m not sure, maybe I’ll never know. maybe I don’t want to.

UP THE CHELSSSS!!!! 💙💙💙

Ending the year on a high 💙🔝

MARC HAT TRICK BEFORE HALF TIME LETS FUCKING GOOOOOO. I LOVE MY TEAM, I LOVE THIS CLUB, LIGHT THE COUNTRY FUCKING BLUEEEEE 💙💙💙

me coded as fuck

fatima aamer bilal, excerpt from moony moonless sky’s ‘i am an observer, but not by choice.’

[text id: my fist has always been clenched around the handle of an invisible suitcase. / i am always ready to leave. / there is not a single room in this world where i belong.]

I WILL SURVIVE BUT I’LL NEVER RECOVER

THE ACHE COMES AND GOES LIKE SCARS WITH THE WEATHER

AND IM STUCK WITH THE PAINS AND PLATES OF ALL THE LOVE I STILL HAVE FOR YOU 💔💔

next year I’ll be 20. an age I never thought I’d reach. I never truly envisioned a life past sixteen. I had far fetched dreams, stuff I told the people around me to appease them, but I never truly thought it would happen. I never thought I’d get this far. It’s slightly surreal, like I’m in some sort of limbo, waiting for the other shoe to drop.

whenever people are like ‘who’s your favourite character in 911’, it’s like … babe. i don’t fuckin know. depends who i’m looking at at the time. the position of the sun. the wind chill. the precipitation prediction. i love them all. i love them all way too much.