Trick Or Treat :3

Shhh

I’m busy doomscrolling.

Bro I thought I just lost an entire draft of a drama list and was about to just lay down in despair. I should probably keep a copy of them elsewhere instead of just writing them on here. That would most certainly be safer. But I don’t feel like it right now. Soooooo maybe later. :3

Random question. People who have gone to concerts, what are they like?

I give all my mutuals full access to boop me as many times as you want. I’m a free use boop slut

Why do all my fucking comedies stab me in the heart man. What was that, you can’t fucking wound me like this man.

Anyway on an only slightly related note I finish Highschool Return of Gangster and damn I cried. Loved it but damn.

Also, Last Meal Universe, fucking love you and your sillies and the pain man. Love my silly shows also loved the ending behind the scene/bloopers clips during credits. Fucking great.

Oh no here comes trouble, one day I shall be able to finish you. Once i figure out my best option of watching you, one day I'll manage it. Same for you Missing the Other Side. How dare you disappear from the streaming service I have access to just to reappear as season 2, I wasn't fucking done with season 1. But ill get there eventually.

Damn I’m so fucking hungry, I should probably eat. Hmmmmmm. But it’s finals week. Gotta finish this painting. But food. Both is the answer. Of course. Never mind food is the answer, I shall return momentarily finals. And this time, I’ll just create you the way I want to. Without getting wrapped up in my head thinking it won’t be right I’ll just do it my way. It should meet the requirements and I believe it shows some of what I learned but it feels better to me this way. Who knows, but I’ll have it down. And I’ll like it. No matter what happens, I’ll like it.

Anyone else who uses procreate, does color drop ever just not work for y’all? Like you do it but for some reason the spot you want to fill is apparently a void from the beyond that no matter what you do cannot be filled by means of the color drop and only manually filling it in is powerful enough to overcome it?

Ah my mind is too much for me right now so let’s see, what should I ramble about? Ah I can’t think of anything at the moment so this is gonna be one of those existential crises posts. This will include topics that may trigger readers so please do not read if you think this will affect you. This is your final warning, please do not continue reading as this deals with mature topics and sad feelings.

Okay. Here I go. How do people live knowing they will one day die? It took me a while to fully understand that I wanted to live and now I’m scared of death. I really hope there is an afterlife. If there isn’t I guess the point of life is the experience itself. We’re all headed to the same place in the end. I guess one thing that helps is that I won’t be alone in facing it as this is something we all will face. I don’t know how to deal with this viewpoint. When I go out I just see the ending making it hard to enjoy the present. And I guess the ending scares me. But I shouldn’t let that stop me from enjoying myself. Life is beautiful. If there is nothing after the end that would honestly be a damn shame. Experience can be overloading, good, bad, it’s just a whole mess. But I love it, I love being able to feel, to connect, and be with other beings. So I guess I pray to whichever entity I believe in that they do exist. Cause I don’t want this to be the end.

Ah okay I guess this helped me get rid of some thoughts. Have a wonderful day/night.

Content warning - kind of a vent. Just mind stuff. Eh I can’t think of a warning, other than what I’ve already written. Brain fog. Well that and sickness.

Working on a project and hating what it’s current progress and look every second I’m working on it but when I walk away and stop for a while I find I actually kinda like it. But then I go back to working on it and every fiber of my being is screaming at me that I’m somehow making it so so much worse and every touch is a mistake, but then I pause look back and go nice that actually looks good. But then it’s still not done so I gotta work on it more.. and I just get a bit tired with my brain. Like pls, let me work on peace.

I feel like some people would like this song right now. Been a while since I’ve listened to it but I stumbled back upon it while looking for a different song. Hang in there everyone.

Okay so I don’t have anything nearly as in depth to say but I do have some thoughts. This is more in general fandomness not just queer related media. So some context: This isn’t my art account but I do make fanart and societal views of the media greatly affect what I may end up posting. I recently became a fan of a kpop band and drew one of the band members. I was scared to post it cause of so many what-ifs and the fact that it didn’t get it to look quite right. But that’s beside the point. Anyway, when I went to talk to friends about if I should post it one of them pointed out some things I had never thought about. So kpop, anime, and other media doesn’t have a good reputation where I’m from though anime has become more accepted. My friend said “So you know how a group of women isn’t evil. But then when a group of women like something it’s given a bad reputation?” Something along those lines but they said it better than I could put into words. And I feel like this has to do with the “only straight women like this media”. It’s mysogenistic. And also just incorrect in the grand scheme of things. So many people like a variety of things but when certain groups of people like something people will attack it just using the basis “well these people like it so it must not be good”. Which, is just so odd. Why would a group of people liking something somehow affect the quality of media? Like I’m sure it would have some influence but not in the way that is used in such an argument. I want to go on more but honestly can’t figure out how to go on so pls add to this. (Sorry if this doesn’t make much sense, I’m not quite sure how to properly express my thoughts)

Now onto a different topic. So I’m a fan of very niche things and highly enjoy my corny cheesey little shows. Some of which I would recommend to my friends until they called one of my shows cringe. Which, okay if it isn’t your thing I completely understand. But it’s a show I’ve expressed that I loved and even recommended. Now if you want to call my show anything call it corny, cheesey, goofy, cause it is. It’s overly dramatic yeah but that’s its vibe. Cringe is so overused and just saying stuff like this made me more wary about what shows I offer people and avoid shows that maybe they would actually like. If you’re going to criticize something, don’t just use negative words. Call it what it is. If it’s cheesey or over dramatic maybe it won’t have that gritty plot line you’re looking for but it’s not supposed to have that. It’s supposed to be a lil goofy, it’s supposed to be fun. Yeah it’s ‘unrealistic’ but the characters have super powers so it was never meant to be. Hell even if they didn’t have powers sitcoms exist for a reason. (Rak Diao, my love).

Another lil tidbit I wanted to add on was just basic understanding of media. I’ve talked about this before so I’m just gonna copy and paste it but edit it to make sense in this context:

So I find I don’t understand everything. By this I mean I can take one understanding of a piece, look at the piece again and just be like damn how on earth was I so wrong before? It’s why I like giving shows a second chance. Cause I might of completely misunderstood what’s happening or maybe I never knew in the first place. It’s just the meaning I took at that time and now I’ll learn something else from it. Like something I might misremember or have a bad impression of I’ll go back and recheck and be like, yeah no I was so wrong. This is great! And vice versa, I’ll be like man this is so good, rewatch and notice things that are a bit iffy. And just go hmmmmm. Just enjoy what you enjoy and don’t be afraid to try things again or let things go. Also, a lot of things fly over my head in shows cause I’m not aware or conscious of everything and I don’t know all the experiences or relevant ties things may have so it’s always good to double check or get a second pair of eyes. (See I read an entire book thinking the main character was a boy. It wasn’t until literal years later I found out the main character was a girl. Did this change much of anything? Not really. But it’s an example and I still thought the fairy and main character were going to end up dating. Alas they did not.)

I hope some of this made sense. T^T

Putting my thoughts out here is terrifying, cause of again all those what-ifs. Anyway, I don’t know how to uh end my lil spiel so yeah. (￣▽￣;)

a question for QL fandom at large: when did we start only wanting media that is perfectly suited to our standards?

there has never been a perfect show, and there never will be a perfect show, because everybody likes different things and QL is run on shoestring budgets. i thought this was something we made our peace with as viewers of the genre!

so i'm just wondering at what point fandom decided that a show is only worthy of praise/fandom if it has no problems?

at what point did we decide that talking about the problems of a show is more important than talking about what we did enjoy and what kept us watching? i don't know when it happened, but it definitely has. critique is treated more seriously and gets more interaction than people talking about what they like.

it seems like a really exhausting and slightly puritan way to do things, to be constantly finding imperfections and treating them as more important than the good parts. dunno about y'all but i don't want to be unintentionally enacting puritan shit.

i want joy, i want fun, i want the spirit of camaraderie in fandom.

so, why did fandom begin to snub any media that didn't fit very high standards? and how can we steer ourselves away from that impulse?

(i am genuinely curious about why this is happening and how those of us who don't enjoy it can change, so please feel free to jump in, even if you are 'late' or think you only have a very small contribution to make to the discussion.)