As Readers We Only Know What Harry Notices/pays Attention To, And Although We Have No Idea What Color

while looking up 1950s slang, i found the phrase “come on snake, let’s rattle,” which has 2 meanings: asking someone to dance, and challenging someone to a fight

and. hhhooooooooo boy does that fact have some Potential

Okay this also bothered me

Harry: hey

Voldemort: what the fuck is it now Potter?

Harry: what is with parseltongue?

Voldemort: …. run this by me again.

Harry: like, are we just going to accept that we can talk to snakes for no reason at all?

Voldemort: it’s magic.

Harry: Is it? Because I don’t see any people who speak cat or moose around here. Why snakes? Snake talking seems to be a really stupid and specific thing to just magically happen. I feel like ravens would be much more useful to talk to. Or owls! Owls are magical, it would make sense if some of us could talk to owls, but no, it’s only snakes. Not even lizards or anything, just giant hissing scaly worms.

Voldemort:

Harry: look, all I’m asking is, if Salazar Slytherin’s dad or mum did, or did not- fuck a magic snake.

Voldemort:

Voldemort: get the fuck out of my castle

8th Year, Draco is tentative friends with the trio, they study together. Draco and Harry are shagging in secret (everyone knows Draco is with someone, no one suspects Harry).

Harry snagged some cauldron cakes and passed one to Draco.

“Fattening me up, Potter?” Draco asked, even as he bit into it. “I am capable of feeding myself.”

Harry snorted. “Wouldn’t know it from your skinny arse.”

“Look at my arse often, do you?” Draco smirked.

“It’s a fine arse,” Harry said, winking at him.

“Watch yourself!” Draco snapped playfully. “This arse is taken.”

“Quite often, I imagine,” Harry couldn’t help but reply.

Across the table, Hermione inhaled sharply, and Ron choked on his mouthful.

This is a stupid headcanon I fixated way to long on:

What if Draco had a diary which he called Father, like he made it when he was young to compensate for his dad being to busy with work to listen to him.

So everytime he said “wait till my father hears about it.” He’s actually running to his dorm to pull out his diary and write his feelings into it.

Like probably something like:

“Dear Father, Potter did not pay attention to me today and it’s all that stupid Weasley’s fault. I hate him and I hate all Potter’s friends because if they never existed me and Potter would be snogging by now and he’d love me and I’d be happy. And gosh, I hate my life!! Signed Draco Potter-Malfoy “

Pansy knows about the Diary and reads it daily because she’s bored. She sometimes corrects his grammatical errors to piss him off.

Is that a threat, Draco

Good stuff.

The distinctive and memorable Thailand-only covers for the Harry Potter novels.

I lay awake at night dreading the day when a very potter musical is no longer outrageously funny to people because they don’t understand all of the painfully 2009 cultural references that are made

Okay so you know that trope in fics where after Harry comes out, Ron asks him if he ever looked at him that way? Usually his response is relief but like, what if it wasn’t? What if it went like…

Ron: What do you mean you’ve never? Harry: Well, you’re like my brother. It would be too weird. Ron: Not even once? Harry: Nope. Ron: But you’ve thought about Malfoy? Harry: Um, recently, yeah. Ron: I’m gonna need a 20 inch essay on what Malfoy has that i don’t. Harry: It’s not like that! Hermione, help me out here. Ron: Is it the hair? Hermione: I doubt that’s it, he used to like Ginny. Maybe it’s more about posture. Harry: *hitting his head to the desk and groaning* Ron: I’m taller than he is Harry and he’s a bit skinny to be honest. I have more bulk, you know? Wait, where are you going? I’m a bloody catch, come back! Hermione, snickering: There there, Ronald. I know you are.