Sleepy

Where trust meets fear- Jude Bellingham

Content: Jude x fem!reader, slight mature language, not fully proof read, Angst!

w.c : 2.2k

summary: You struggle with insecurities and self-destructive behavior in your relationship with Jude. After a painful argument fueled by jealousy and past fears, you find it hard to accept Jude’s constant support.

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Staring at the cellular device for the umpteenth time that night, the thought of smashing the screen against the marble floors crossed your fragmented focus.

Your thoughts drifted back to the slow-witted argument you had with your boyfriend earlier this morning, over a stupid blog post about his new companion for this month.

You knew Jude wasn’t the type to cheat—he did everything to make you feel secure in your relationship. But being an overthinker, you couldn’t quiet your restless mind. You dissected everything: the tone of his texts, why he chose you over the women he was often linked to.

His wild past wasn’t a secret, filled with women who matched his fast-paced world, while you were nothing like them. It made you uneasy, and you resented the constant questioning of his motives, knowing it wasn’t fair to either of you.

Harsh words slipped from your mouth, cutting deeper than you intended, as you watched the hurt ripple across your boyfriend's face. You said things you didn’t mean, questioning his integrity, throwing accusations that didn’t even make sense. The moment replayed in your mind—Jude reaching out, trying to comfort you, before you pushed him away, building a wall between you two.

the same wall he had worked so hard to break down, and despite everything, he had succeeded.

He left shortly after, leaving you wracked with guilt. — reminding you that he wasn’t the one walking away, it was you who was pushing him away.

Your self-destructive tendencies resurfaced in full force, catching you off guard. You thought you had dealt with them, convinced you had outgrown that sorrowful habit.

Mid-thought you hear the front door open, your clearly exhausted 6'1 athletic boyfriend walks in, tossing his training bag onto the counter avoiding your gaze. You walked up to him pulling him to face you which left you even more shattered as you gazed into his exhausted, hurt eyes, what hurt even more was knowing that you were responsible for inflicting that pain on him

"I'm so sorry for everything I've said." you started

"Baby-"

"No, Jude, I really mean it. I hate this—I hate that no matter how hard you try to make me feel safe, I always end up ruining it." You cut him off, your eyes brimming with tears as you refused to meet his gaze. He placed his large palm against your jaw, gently urging you to look at him, but you couldn’t. You felt unworthy of his attention, of his care, of him.

"Look at me," he said firmly, and you complied, locking your gaze with his. A wave of fear washed over you, the unsettling thought that you had finally pushed him to his breaking point, That this time, he might choose not to break down the walls you had already begun to build.

"Hey… hey, stop that," he added, using his fingertip to wipe away the glistening pearls from your cheeks.

The sentimental gesture only confused you more. You questioned why he was being so gentle when frustration radiated from him. It was evident in the way his eyebrows furrowed, and how his eyes darted back and forth across your face, yet he still managed to prioritize your feelings above his own once again.

"You’re doing it again. I can practically sense the thoughts swirling in that head of yours." He attempts to lighten up the mood, as a way to calm you down once again.

"Please, don’t be gentle with me, Jude. I said some messed-up things."

He brushed a strand of hair away from your tear-streaked face, his eyes seeing right through your bullshit. Deep down, he understood—you hadn’t signed up for his lifestyle. He knew this was your first time loving someone with that kind of intensity, and that kind of love made you do things you never thought you would. It pushed you to act out of character, to question everything. And despite your words, he secretly empathized with the weight you were carrying.

"I get it," he said gently. "I know you’re scared of losing us, so you push me away, thinking I’ll leave. But I won’t. You have to accept that I’m not going anywhere" he firmly stated

"I love you, Jude" you replied. Your chest tightened with the weight of the argument looming between you, and he looked at you with a mix of worry, fear, and disappointment in his eyes.

"And I love you, but you won’t let me." He whispered softly as he hesitated, finally letting go of your face. A breath escaped him, one he hadn’t realized he was holding.

The silence was deafening, every unspoken word hanging heavy between you both. You felt like the elephant in the room, foolish for letting things unravel with the one person who truly cared for you, who knew you inside and out. Once again, the realization hit—you didn’t deserve him. And yet somehow, letting him go seemed easier than admitting the depth of your feelings.

"I wish you could let me in, I wish you could just let me love you the way you deserve to be loved, But your fear is greater than what we have and that's something you need to figure out"

"Jude please-" You plead selfishly, knowing that this repeated pattern of you pushing him away and him chasing after you had finally reached the finish line.

His attempt to reach out to you is returned by you taking a step back, further proving his point

“You’re pushing me away when all I want to do is hold you. How long are you going to keep this up?” he replies frustrated with how you keep getting in your own way.

You felt like you were being examined under a microscope, your thoughts laid bare. The silence between you only intensified his frustration, pushing him to dig deeper with more questions in search of clarity.

"You still haven't forgiven me for my past," he states.

“Don’t -” you say, but he interrupts pressing further into your vulnerability.

"The women I've been with—part of you still believes that part of my life is attached to me." He delivers this like a fact, another unpleasant reminder that he knows you better than you know yourself.

He waits patiently for your reaction to his truth bomb, knowing that he is treading on thin ice and that his words aren’t kind. Still, he can’t bring himself to acknowledge how you feel at that moment—not when he constantly puts up with your antics and guards your feelings over his. He knows that this is something you need to hear. You know that too.

“It’s not that simple,” you reply, “You don’t understand what it’s like to constantly compete with ghosts. Knowing I have nothing in common with your lifestyle or the fact that I look nothing like them. How do you expect me to just let that go when that's the bane of my existence Jude"

He sighs, the disappointment evident in his eyes.

"I never asked you to be like them. I'm asking you to trust that I am here, I'm asking you to believe that you are more than enough for me - that I won't leave you."

You turn away, frustration boiling inside you. “How can I do that when it feels like I’m always one step behind, waiting for you to slip back into that life.”

“You’re not behind,” he counters, stepping closer, his tone urgent. ignoring the last sentence you blurted knowing that your vulnerability made you say shit that was insubstantial.

“You’re with me. But you have to let me in. You have to let go of the pain.”

“...And you need to stop feeling so goddamn sorry for yourself,” he said, tone sharp, words piercing through your fog of confusion, challenging you to confront the emotions you’d been avoiding.

He employed the same tactics as on the football field, assessing your vulnerabilities and strategizing. This time, it wasn’t about rivalry or hostility. He was in the same match, but instead of defending against you, he was charging into your thoughts, eager to show he was equally afraid of losing you just as much. To him, you being off the field of his life just wasn’t an option he was settling for.

Your lips trembled as you absorbed his words, your fingers gripping the thin fabric of Jude's shirt. His scent wrapped around you, offering a sense of comfort amid the chaos of the moment.

“I wish I could,” you whisper, tears clouding your vision. “But I’m scared...Scared that I’m not enough for you”

He reaches out, brushing a tear from your cheek with the gentleness you so desperately crave. “You are enough. You don’t have to be perfect. Just be honest with me. Let me help you through this.”

His eyes dart all over your face attempting to decipher your thoughts secretly hoping that you don't push him away; hoping that you'd comfort him.

"I need you to meet me halfway on this; Please, just allow someone to be there for you—for once in your life."

His fingers gently brush against your face, gliding back and forth across your cheek, silently urging for a response. He tilts your face upward, guiding your gaze to meet his, the intensity in his eyes pressing you to say something—anything.

It feels like an eternity since you’ve spoken, the silence between you heavy and suffocating. The tension hangs thick in the air, punctuated only by the faint, steady ticking of the clock bolted to the wall, each sound a reminder of how much time has slipped by without a word.

"Please don't give me space, that's the last thing I want with you." you finally respond

He lets out a sigh of relief, his eyes filled with gratitude. You’re still here, still willing to wait for him, to fight for him with the same intensity he’s fought for you. Without hesitation, he pulls you flush against him, holding you tight as though you were slipping away like quicksand, desperate to keep you grounded in his arms.

But as he holds you, something unsettles him. Your body feels rigid, like you’re pulling away, even though you’re standing in his arms. He brushes his hand gently down your back, tension slightly easing but not fully fading. It lingers, heavy and unspoken - Just like where the both of you stood —on edge

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Thought daughters unite!

This is my first fic in a very long time, so please be kind lol

I love angst so much and I overthink a lottttt hence this fic!!!, so please lmk what you guys would like to read next, my inbox/ asks are open <3

this fic is gravely inspired by Silver Springs - Fleetwood Mac. I’ve had that song stuck in my head for days!!

Huge thanks to @urfriendlywriter for the apology prompt, It truly resonated with this story

Ok ok hear me out,

Imagine gekko little buddies keep following the reader something like that.

headcannons of wingman, thrash, and dizzy following you around. ^^

the first time you met them, they automatically loved you.

everywhere gekko went with you, wingman would always hover on your shoulder

even when gekko wasn't with you, his friends would always urge him into meeting up with you or convincing you to coming over

they'd always want to play games with you

of course, they didn't follow you around ALL the time, especially when the two of you were defending against the valorant league (sorry if you dont know all the lore to know what this means lmao)

but while the two of you had breaks between the fights, wingman would always come over to rest on your head

you always wished you could understand what they were gossiping about, usually about other agents

gekko would give you a much more nicer version of what they would say

those three would do quite literally anything for you

especially since they know of the chemistry between you and mateo

you could swear that they'd initiate stuff between you two, either giving flowers to mateo to give to you, or by angling you while you were sleeping to lean against him

wingman probably was literally the best wingman mateo could have

those three definitely keep a close eye on you

you're just proud to know that you were the favorite of those three lil cuties, other than mateo himself.

Hi! Could you do like toddler Leclerc reader, like she’s the baby sister of the Leclercs and even tho they are quite a lot older than her they love her more than anything and are very protective and doting over her, especially Charles

The three big bad wolves (leclerc!toddler!reader)

N.B: dear anon, thank you for the request......i had this in my inbox for a while, I hope you like it.... WARNINGS: not proof read, don't focus too much on age and stuff, baby leclerc having a crush on mr carlos sainz (who doesn't), I feel like I could've written the ending in a better way of sorts..... if I missed anything please let me know....

masterlist

The three leclerc boys had fallen in love in 2016, Lorenzo was 20, Charles was 19 and Arthur was 16 when they saw their first love. It was when YN Leclerc was born. Her lips parted as hiccups left her small body, her hands laying on her mother's chest and her eyes twinkling as she looked up at her three brothers.

The three boys didn't think their love for yn could be deeper, could be so much more than their hearts dancing at the sound of her giggles, so much more than sitting on small chairs, having their nails painted bright colors and their faces smeared by their mother's make-up. They didn't know how far their love can go, how deep their feelings could be but when tragedy struck the Leclerc household the three boys swore that they'd not just die for their baby sister, they would kill for her, they would tear down worlds for her.

YN coming to races had been rare, Pascale rarely leaves her baby girl out of her sight, she always wants her within her eyesight scared of what the world might do to her little baby.

So when Charles made his way with YN on his hip, some would argue that she is too old for this, her face hiding in his neck and arms wrapped tightly around him feeling safe in her brother's arm. Lorenzo and Arthur were with them as well, just behind Charles, trying to get yn to look at them but to no avail.

"Is that baby leclerc?"

A British voice rang through the hallway as Lando ran up to Charles, pushing Arthur out of the way to take a closer look at yn, stretching his hand to squish her chubby cheeks.

"Hey!"

Lando's protest was loud and clear as soon as Charles moved yn out of his hands way

"Stay away from my sister norris"

Lorenzo's sharp tone scared the youn brit into moving away, allowing Arthur to squeeze himself back into his rightful place.

"Yn baby"

"Yes 'tur"

The sound of her small voice had all 4 men melting, wanting to wrap the little girl in a blanket and keep her away from everything bad in this world.

"Come here"

Arthur extended his hand so that he can carry yn, but Charles maneuvered away from his younger brother refusing to let go of yn

"You have to let her go man, you need to change anyway"

"No no, just for a bit"

"Charles!" His team principle came within their eyesight, looking at charles as he pouted, wanting to have yn in his arms for a bit more.

Not wanting to get fired Charles moved yn into Arthur's arms as Lorenzo kept running his hand through her hair upon seeing her yawn.

"Hey, little leclerc!"

All tiredness disappeared from yn's face as Carlos Sainz jr. entered the room, yn had a crush on him and it wasn't a secret. Her mother and Carlos found it cute, it was a silly little thing that she'll grow out of, her brothers however hated it they didn't want to entertain the idea that she should even have a crush before being 25 years old.

"No, go away" Lorenzo spoke as he moved in front of yn, trying to block her eyesight but it was too late.

"Enzo, moovee" yn whined as she tried to push lorenzo away from her so that she could see the Spaniard

"Come on man, it's just a baby crush, it'll go with time" Carlos reasoned as yn stretched her arms towards him and started fussing in Arthur's hold, wanting to be held by the oldest driver.

"Hey yn" Carlos greeted as he bounced her lightly on his hip, the two words making the little girl blush, a smile on her lips so wide that she would later complain of her face hurting

"Non! Not again! Carlos!" The heavy sound of racing boots running closer reached everyone's ears as they looked towards charles

"Leave yn alone! Give her here"

"Non! Charles, I want to stay with Carlos" tightening her grip onto carlos' shirt, yn looked at Charles, challenging him and making sure that he sees her little hands on his teammate's shirt as a way to make it clear that she's not going anywhere.

"Mon ange!" Charles whined as he stomped his feet

"Honestly, which one of you is the little kid?"

"Zip it norris"

"Be nice to landy" yn frowned at her older brother, reaching one of her hands towards Lando's hair as she patted it as a form of apology making all three leclerc brothers annoyed

"This is just unfair" Arthur complained as he watched his sister have a puppy crush on two drivers, they really shouldn't have introduced her to any of the drivers.

The prince of the Paddock ┃T.C

timothée chalamet x fem!f1mercedes!reader

summary: Everybody know yn, the queen of the track but her bf is also important 😘

yourusername

Liked by t.chalamet, lewishamilton, and 1,683,184 others

yourusername Such a good weekend!!! P1 baby! And I also had my pretty boy w me 😘😘

username pls marry me yn

mercedesamgf1 Our golden girl !🙌

tchalamet my queen on the podium ❤️🤘😍

username SLAY QUEEN!!!!!

username TIMMY AT THE LAST SLIDE

tchalamet has posted a story!

Seen by yourusername, charles_leclerc and 2,549,535 others

tchalamet

Liked by yourusername, zendaya and 2,583,892 others

tchalamet MY BABY WON A RACE (again 😘!!!!!) 😍😍❤️❤️❤️

username PLS ADOPT ME

florencepugh Is your girlfriend single?

zendaya cuties!!

yourusername I LOVE YOUUUUUUUU 💃💃🗣️🗣️

username parents!

youtube

The tonight show has posted a video!

Timothee Chalamet on F1, Wonka and Dune Part 2

comments

timmyfans ok but the way he says that from that moment he knew that yn would be his wife

ynlnf1videos if they break up I will no longer believe in love again.

username This man is absolutely in love with his girlfriend and I'm here for it!😭👏

username we support a king who respects, admires and loves his gf💗💗

username ugh he's such a green flag

username Idk if I wanna be yn to date timmy or be timmy to date yn

f1

Liked by 894,573 others

f1 Our favorite couple at the race earlier this day! ¿Who doesn't love our timmy?

mercedesamgf1 little timmy t was about to sing statistics to y'all

username GIVE MERCEDES ADMI A RAISE

timmyfanpage yn is so pretty stop

mercedesfan22 toto's adopted childrens

username RUMORS SAY THEY JUST GOT ENGAGED

username WAIT WHAT!?!?! how do u know!!!

username Apparently a close friend of them posted sm about it!

taglist

@willowpains

@ladyoflynx

Heloo can I request a smau where the reader and lando are dating and they always do date nights but its not really a date night cus oscar is always with them everytime lily isnt there and he just becomes their child 😭 thank you thank youu

just us, and your friend steve | lando norris

pairing: lando norris x reader

summary: at first you were annoyed by oscar being at all of your dates, until you started to miss him when he wasn’t.

liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri, and 572,016 others!

yourusername: date night with my boyfriend <3…and his boyfriend!

view comments below!

user1: oscar the certified 3rd wheel

user2: that picture is so cute

landonorris: i love you :)

yourusername: haha simp

landonorris: oscar give my girlfriend her phone back

yourusername: fine 😒

yourusername: i love you too lan :D

landonorris: there she is!

user3: man i would KILL to be a third wheel in this relationship

user4: i would be landos boyfriend 😏

user5: is lando oscar’s only friend??

landonorris: yes!

oscarpiastri: it’s not nice to lie lando

landonorris: im not lying?

oscarpiastri: i have other friends!

landonorris: oh…then why don’t you go hangout with them instead of 3rd wheeling with me and my girlfriend?

oscarpiastri: …

landonorris: that’s what i thought!

yourusername: that was not nice lando.

landonorris: it wasn’t meant to be nice, it was the truth!

yourusername: still, it was mean.

oscarpiastri; yeah lando. it was MEAN.

landonorris: don’t gang up on me??

user6: LMAOO they hang out for one night and they become like this 🤞

user7: i need more of this trio

danielricciardo: and why wasn’t i invited?

maxverstappen1: i have the same question?

landonorris: because you guys have other friends! for osc it’s just me and yn

oscarpiastri; I HAVE OTHER FRIENDS.

landonorris: shhh, shhh, shhh baby it’s okay. it’s okay.

yourusername: baby 🤨

landonorris: omg it just slipped out

user8: that’s…interesting!

user9: yn and lando are so cute together

user9: and oscar cute too ig?

user10: you guess?? that man is gorgeous

user11: the “…and his boyfriend” is TOOO funny. yn i love you

user12: she’s seriously so funny

user13: how can people hate her?

user14: they’re most definitely just jealous

maxverstappen1: oh but when i want to make a heart shaped pizza with you it’s weird?

landonorris: yes!

maxverstappen1: double standard much?

landonorris: she’s my GIRLFRIEND

maxverstappen1: AND WHAT AM I?

user15: i feel like im interrupting something

yourusername: how do you think i feel…

liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris, and 528,058 others!

yourusername: paddle and golf with my baby <3 and my baby 🥹

view comments below!

landonorris: why does he get the cool picture and i get that?

yourusername: i think both pictures summarize you guys perfectly!

landonorris: so he’s cool while i’m a loser?

yourusername: i didn’t say that but…

landonorris: WOW, already favoriting the child. i can’t believe this.

yourusername: my child will ALWAYS come first.

oscarpiastri: :D

user16: we went from “my bfs bf” to “my child 🥹”

user17: WE DID IT GUYS

user18: yn and lando adopting oscar agenda is HAPPENING

charle_leclerc: are you trying to steal my child from me?

yourusername: it’s not really stealing if he willingly comes with…

charles_leclerc: it’s just stockholm syndrome, don’t worry oscar i’ll get you away from them soon

oscarpiastri: im actually having lots of fun :)

charles_leclerc: OMG WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM

user19: we got lando and yn adopting oscar…but we lost this during

user20: totally worth it

danielricciardo: when is it my time to be adopted?

maxverstappen1: you are a 35 year old grown man.

danielricciardo: 😐

user21: why is max coming for daniel??

maxverstappen1: i’m bored. since APPARENTLY i’m not landos paddle partner anymore

landonorris: max…i can explain…

maxverstappen1: save it. don’t call me. don’t come by my house. we’re done.

landonorris: i see you watched diary of a wimpy kid

maxverstappen1: i did indeed..

user24: they’re at it again…

user22: max is so funny

user23: i love him

user24: oscar being so quite during all of his is so him coded

user25: he’s just enjoying being out and about

liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris, and 601,958 others!

yourusername: vacation with the boyfie <3

view comments below!

user26: omg lando looks so good

user26: i’m going into heat

user26: WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF

user26: GRRRR

user27: this is the first post in 2 months that doesn’t have oscar…

user28: and the crowd…cry’s?

user29; i can’t be the only one who thought oscar would 100% go with them on vacation

user30: i definitely thought so too!

user31: they’ve literally spend all their extra time together

maxverstappen1: how many times did he belly flop?

yourusername: i’ve been swore to secrecy.

user32: she’s so lucky

user33: right? ‘the boyfie’ IMAGINE BEING ABLE TO CALL LANDO NORRIS YOUR BF??

charles_leclerc: guess who’s with me right now 😏

landonorris: charles…don’t.

charles_leclerc: hehehe

yourusername: you’re just his rebound. you’ll never be me.

charles_leclerc: @/oscarpiatsri what do you think?

oscarpiastri: i still like yn better

charles_leclerc: i bought you ice cream…

oscarpiatri: you could never be her 🤷

yourusername; IM COMING HOME FOR YOU OSCAR

landonorris: see what you did charles?

maxverstappen1: how are you holding up?

yourusername: i feel like my hearts been ripped out of my chest. i have no reason to wake up.

maxverstappen1: oh!

user34: max was NOT expecting that answer

user35: if oscar doesn’t get himself over to that damn island soon istg

user36: THATS HER BOY 💔💔💔

oscarpiastri: did you find any crabs? :D

yourusername: yes. i will put them in my suitcase and take them with me to show you

user37: so this is crazy!

liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris, and 713,046 others!

yourusername: look who joined us!! my son <3

view comments below!

user38: THEY REUNITED!!!

maxverstappen1: how did she take it? 🤣

landonorris: she cried.

yourusername: i did not!

landonorris: yeah baby you did…

oscarpiastri: yn you know how much i hate agreeing with lando, but yes you did cry

yourusername: I MISSED MY SON, GOD FORBID I CRY??

user39: i get you yn. i really do

user40: omg this is so cute

user41: truly adorable

oscarpiastri: now i can see all the crabs in person :D

yourusername; THATS MY SON EVERYONE

charles_leclerc: he was mine first 🥲

yourusername: #getoverit??

landonorris; can’t believe you cried when you saw him

yourusername: i was EMOTIONAL

landonorris: in the four years we’ve been dating you have never cried when seeing me

yourusername: i see you all the time! no need to cry!

landonorris: i want you to cry! cry for me!

oscarpiastri: you could never be me ;)

landonorris: i will send you back to australia

yourusername: if you send him back, i’m going with him

landonorris: WOW.

user42: we have officially entered the era where yn is choosing oscar over lando

user43: her son > her boyfriend

danielricciardo: does this mean i can hop on a plane and go visit you

landonorris: NO. this is officially a family vacation.

danielricciardo: and i’m not family? 💔

yourusername: you’re that one uncle that you see twice a year and don’t talk to or interact with for the rest of said year.

danielricciardo; yeah that makes sense.

. . .

notes; thank you for requesting!! hope you enjoyed :)

Masterlist

Kay Winchester’s Masterlist

Hey guys, I put together a master list of all my supernatural one shots, drabbles, series, and more. If you’re wondering what each fic is about, I usually have the summary at the top of each one. I hope you guys enjoy!!!! ~ Kay

-last updated 6/2/22-

One Shots

Sister Winchester

About John 

All Grown Up

Control Freak

Costume Party

Cover It Up

Crush

Daddy Daughter Dance

Dear Diary

Double Attack

Dream Runner

Flag Pole

Haunting Dreams

Hustler

Last Resort

Little Hero

Man Down

Maybe One Day

Mistakes Were Made

My Hero

No Time for Rest

Not So Innocent

One Too Many

Overdose

Protected

Racing

Realistic Nightmares

Shopping Spree

Smushed

Souless Sam

Stitches

Stubborn Little Sis

Superheros 

We’ll Get Through This

Your Mistake

Daughter Winchester

Little Wonders

Dean Winchester x Reader

Please Don’t Go (song fic)

She’s Gone

Winchester Brothers x Platonic!Reader

Let Us Help

Secrets

Supernatural Cast x Reader

Falling Slowly

It Looked Real

Mystery Man

The Runaway

Drabbles

Sister Winchester

Boys and Girls

Busted

Lazy Morning

Series

Dark Power (daughter!winchester) IN PROGRESS Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11

First Blood (sister!winchester) FINISHED Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

Long Lost Brothers (sister!winchester) FINISHED Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

Other Worlds (sister!winchester) FINISHED Part 1 Part 2  Part 3  Part 4 Part 5 

Perfect Lie (sister!winchester) FINISHED Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

Seven Minutes (sister!winchester) FINISHED Part 1 Part 2

Soft Heart (sister!winchester) FINISHED Part 1 Part 2

Trust Him? (sister!winchester) FINISHED Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

Rewrites

Sister Winchester

Dark Side Of The Moon (Season 5 Episode 16)

The Werther Project (Season 10 Episode 19)

The Prisoner (Season 10 Episode 22)

Don’t You Forget About Me (Season 11 Episode 12)

Mamma Mia (Season 12 Episode 2)

Celebrating The Life Of Asa Fox (Season 12 Episode 6)

First Blood (Season 12 Episode 9)

Ladies Drink Free (Season 12 Episode 16)

Lebanon (Season 14 Episode 13)

Gif Imagines

Castiel

Dean Winchester

Sam Winchester

Sister Winchester

Team Free Will

Secret Santa | f1 grid Instagram au

f1 grid x driver! reader

* ੈ✩‧₊˚ doing their first secret santa segment with the grid

Author's note: Hello, loves. Hope you all are doing good. Now that the Secret Santa video is out I can finally upload this fic. This didn't turn out the way I wanted it to, I was expecting it to be better but that's okay. I'm going to serve with my next fic, promise. Happy reading, everyone:))

―୨୧⋆ ˚masterlist

The winter air was filled with festive cheer as the Formula 1 paddock prepared for its annual Secret Santa exchange. As a rookie, it was your first time participating in this heartwarming tradition and you were excited, to say the least. The camera crew followed you, capturing every moment leading up to the big reveal of your Christmas gift.

The media team had already hinted that your gift was something extraordinary, a collective effort from the entire grid. The box was larger than expected, and you could feel the curiosity building up.

Lifting the lid, you were met with an array of dog toys, dog clothes, and even some dog food. A chuckle escaped your lips as you examined the peculiar assortment. "Interesting," you remarked, holding up a tiny doggie shirt to the camera. "I doubt that's going to fit me, but I really appreciate the thought, everyone."

Laughter echoed around you, and you took the lighthearted gift in stride, knowing the Secret Santa segment was known for its humorous nature.

Behind the scenes, someone from the camera crew spoke up, letting you know that this was only half of your present. Perplexed, you turned toward the camera, curiosity etched across your face. Then, from behind you, emerged a crew member carrying a small, fluffy golden retriever puppy in his arms.

Your eyes widened in disbelief, and a hushed "no, no, no" escaped your lips as you connected the dots. The reality sunk in, and you moved back, your hand covering your mouth in sheer disbelief. "Say sike right now," you pleaded, almost unable to comprehend what was in front of you. The response was a firm denial, confirming that the puppy was indeed your Secret Santa gift from the entire grid.

You gingerly accepted the puppy into your arms, cradling it close to your chest. "Oh, you're so small," you cooed, a mixture of laughter and happy tears streaming down your face. The puppy reciprocated with wet kisses, and you couldn't help but snuggle into the warmth of this unexpected gift.

As you revel in the joy of the moment, a voice from behind the camera interrupted, "Do you like your gift?" You nodded vigorously, still cradling the puppy in your arms. "I love him so, so much," you replied, sniffling.

Finally, you noticed a note nestled among the dog toys. With the puppy still in your arms, you delicately unfolded the note, "Happy Christmas, Y/N. You are collectively everyone's favourite on the grid. Hope you like the puppy, he's just like you," the note read and was signed by all the drivers.

Tears continued to stream down your cheeks as you looked into the camera. "Thank you, everyone. I love all of you. This is the best Christmas ever." You lifted the puppy so that he could face the camera too, and the collective "awws" echoed around the paddock.

The person behind the camera couldn't resist asking, "What are you going to name him?" You pondered for a moment before deciding, "He looks like a Lenny, no?"

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

yourusername

liked by f1, landonorris and 287,120 others

yourusername Lenny SnoopDawg Y/L in da house😎

comments:

username lmao he's so silly

username kissies on da face!!!!

username can't believe the drivers gifted a golden retriever, an actual golden retriever smh

landonorris I CALL GODFATHER

charles_leclerc Uh back the fuck up. I am the godfather

landonorris You didn't call it though, snoozers losers😘

logansargeant Sorry to break it to you guys but Y/N said her favourite gets to be the godfather, so it's actually me

oscarpiastri Mate, do you ever get tired of being wrong? I'm obviously her favourite

landonorris sources: trust me bro

carlossainz55 I just feel like someone who's actually experienced with dogs should get to be the godfather

mickschumacher So you mean, me? Awh Carlos, thank you

carlossainz55 No.

landonorris I'm real experienced with dogs

yourusername yes, we all remember Uno

albon_pets not to be bias or anything but @alex_albon is great with pets

charles_leclerc That is in fact very bias

albon_pets we are not talking to you dude😠

maxverstappen1 Can I be the father?

logansargeant PAUSE

georgerussell63 Hold up, HOLD THE FUCK UP

yourusername I-is that a flirtation?????

username what the dog doin

username bet lenny is a better driver than me

f1 You should never let your dog drive a car. Soon they'll get better than you and start competing in formula 1😟

username LMAOOO ADMIN PLEASEEEEE

username happened to my buddy eric once

roscoelovescoco IS THAT WHY I'M NOT ALLOWED TO DRIVE ANYMORE?

oscarpiastri that's my car he's driving btw

username Lenny is the goddest boy☹️

Supernatural Masterlist

Gabriel one shots:

This means war- Gabriel and the reader always have prank wars and over time he falls in love with her

Jealousy- Gabriel dies the reader goes to stay with TFW but some how he isn’t dead and comes back because he is a little jealous.

Crowley one shots:

How to love-Crowley saves Winchesters little sister from getting attacked.

Monopoly- Castiel and Crowley play Monopoly with the reader. The reader loses and Sam walks in hearing her yells, thinking she’s hurt.

Dean Winchester one shots:

Go get him- Dean’s scared to date the reader until the reader breaks his walls down. 

All in lyrics- Dean catches the reader dancing to ‘Can’t take my eyes off you’.

Blast from the past-Brothers meet another hunter who’s completely bad ass. Dean realizes that she was the girl he was dating in high school and left without saying a word

Unexpected Surprises-  a young girl calls Dean because that’s the number her mother told her to call in an emergency and tells him that he’s her dad. (Daddy Dean)

Unexpected surprises Part 2- Dean forbids the reader to hunt so she sneaks out and Crowley sends a hell hound to protect her. 

Just perfect- Reader thinks she is to skinny so Dean shows her she’s perfect.

Don’t push me away- Dean gets drunk and when the reader tries to help, Dean pushes her away before realising what he did.

Without you- Reader performs a song she made about Dean.

The good and the bad-the reader is a demon (a good one) and is dating Dean. they both love each other. one day the mark takes over him and he kills her.

Forbidden memories- Dean tortures reader in hell only to find out she’s Cas’s daughter when Cas brings her out. (Daddy Cas)

The words I never said-Dean admits his feelings to the bad ass reader when he thinks he’s going to die.

In every situation (Dean version)- Reader is on her period and Dean helps her.

A perfect family-DeanxReader where they have a small child and the reader is also pregnant (Daddy Dean)

I kissed a girl-Dean finds out the readers first kiss was a girl.

Chevy van- Dean and the reader go for a ride in the Impala. (little bit of smut)

Irresistible-Dean thinks the reader is irresistible.

Listen-Dean is in love with the reader, he keeps trying to tell her but something always get in the way of it.

Clueless-Sam’s P.O.V on the reader and Dean. Moments he caught them doing stuff that made it obvious they belonged together, yet the remain clueless.

Behind a smile-Winchester brothers go undercover at a school and Dean asks about his childhood best friend only to find out she committed suicide.

Behind a smile Part 2-The brothers find out that (y/n)’s body didn’t have her birthmark. Dean tried to convince Sam the reader is still alive and that’s a shifter.

Behind a smile Part 3-Dean finds a note from the reader.

Behind a smile Part 4- Dean and Sam know where to look for the reader.

Blind love-Dean bumps into reader and instantly connects with her and asks her to get a drink with him but she’s blind and insecure about it.

Blind love Part 2-Dean meets the reader for a date.

Mistakes-reader is dating Dean and after getting drunk she sleeps with his brother.

Mistakes Part 2-Reader can’t bare to be around Dean because of guilt.

Mistakes Part 3-Dean tries to convince reader to come back.

Mistakes Part 4-Reader tries to end her life. (Warnings: Suicide)

Mistakes Part 5- Reader is in hospital.

True Love-witch puts a spell on Sam and dean so they both fall in love with the reader.

not alone-reader cries a lot due to depression/things she’s been through in her lifetime.

Perfect for me-reader is an only child and she brings her boyfriend dean and his brother Sam home for a weekend

To break a heart-Reader tells Dean she loves him only that Dean doesn’t share the same feelings until she leaves.

Innocently badass-reader is so badass, more badass than him and he is just in awe with her.

No one’s to old for fairytales-Dean and the reader get cursed into different fairytales.

The diary of a lost girl-Dean finds the readers diary

Bubblegum bitch-Reader is confident and gets stares from every guy especially a certain Winchester.

Black eyed beauty-Dean gets possessed on a hunt and hurts the reader.

Beastly-The reader gets cursed to look hideous and can only be turned back if she finds someone who will truly love her.

Jump the shark-Episode jump the shark, Dean get’s upset and the reader comforts him. 

Reunited-reader is reunited with dean after not seeing him since high school and him discovering that your also a hunter

My bloody valentine-the bloody valentine episode where everyone craves something.  Dean and reader crave each other.

Darkness within-Reader tells Dean they’re a supernatural being.

Part of me-Winchester brothers go to Bobby’s only to find another hunter that Dean takes a interest in.

To help the pain- Reader (Dean’s girlfriend) gets wisdom teeth out, so Dean and TFW look after her.

Dreams can come true-Reader get’s married to Dean, they go on a honeymoon and have children. (smut) (Daddy Dean)

I love you too-reader gets taken by demons for information on the Winchesters but she won’t tell them anything.

Sam Winchester one shots:

Wedding from hell- Sam marries Becky leaving the reader alone who leaves and when Sam is back to normal he finds it’s to late for him to get the reader back. 

Karma- Reader can’t cope when she finds Sam asleep in bed with Ruby.

Happy Birthday- Sam give the reader a surprise on her birthday.

Doll faces-Winchester brothers owe a friend a favour and babysit the reader and their sister, only that Sam can see the reader isn’t how a child such be.

The coffee shop girl- Sam is awe struck by the girl he see’s in the coffee shop but she turns out to be insecure and shy.

Mixed up love- Sam likes the reader and asks her friend to help him practice asking her out, reader mishears and thinks Sam loves her.

Where are the muffins- Reader and Sam cooking dinner for Dean and Cas in the kitchen.

Not all stories have a happy ending-After dating the reader in college, Sam leaves the reader with no explanation. Years later he finds out she’s become a demon.

Not all stories have a happy ending Part 2- Sam tries to bring back his old girlfriend.

Trouble in tattoo’s-The boys bump into another hunter at Bobby’s, but this time Sam is the one who takes an interest to the cheeky hunter.

Trouble in tattoo’s Part 2- Sam’s starts to ignore the reader.

Trouble in tattoo’s Part 3- Sam gets jealous when the reader gets close to someone else. 

In another life-Sam and Dean get sent into the ‘real world’ Sam find out’s that his wife is Ruby, but that’s not all he finds out. (Daddy Sam)

In another life Part 2- Sam finds the reader in his world. (Daddy Sam)

Attached-Sam goes to Bobby’s house who is currently looking after a little girl who had lost her parents and gets attached to Sam.

Attached Part 2-After leaving the reader, The brothers bump into her a few years later.

People change-Sam realises the innocent girl in college is now cold hearted.

People change part 2-Sam tries to get reader to stay with him and Dean.

Baby on board-Sam oneshot where the reader gets turned into a baby.

Smother-Reader refuses to let Sam love her. 

Scars-Reader is insecure and Sam coax’s her into showing him her true emotions that she’s buried all these years. (smut)

In every situation-Sam helps the reader on her period

Suicide-Reader pushes everyone away but Sam’s determined to stay

Beastly-the reader was born with a strange face and hides her face from everyone accepting she’ll always be alone until Sam Winchester turns up.

Here for you-Sam helps the reader when she has a panic attack.

Till death do us part-Sam’s wedding night with his virgin wife! (smut)

Daydreamin’-Reader see’s Sam ‘Agent Smith’ and immediately develops a crush

Daydreamin’ Part 2- Sam finds out the reader he saved is now a hunter.

Perfect for me-Reader is shorter than Sam and he finds it adorable.

Speak now-Reader is in love with Sam but she finds out he’s getting married.(Not the Becky episode)

Smitten-On a hunt Sam gets hit by a love spell which makes him fall for the first person he see’s.

To build a bridge-Reader is in love with Sam so when their on a hunt they each have to reveal a secret.

Let me show you-Sam and the reader are dating but the reader always feels to insecure. (Smut)

Shy Lovin’-Reader is Sam’s girlfriend, who’s very shy.

Soulless Sam:

Dream nightmares for me-Readers view on soulless Sam.

Lucifer one shots:

Night time cries-Lucifer is invading readers dreams to get information out of her.

Night time cries Part 2-Lucifer invades readers dreams to find information

Winchester brothers one shots:

Wild- Brothers find a feral teen and take care of her. 

Take my hand, Brother- Sam and Dean are searching for a cure for the mark. And dean breaks down, asking why Sam even cares (No reader).

The sweetest killer- reader use to be a mercenary, she is pretty bad ass and they both love the way she fights. She’s also sweet and Awkward.

Remain calm-Sam and Dean calming down the reader after s/he just had a panic attack followed by a nightmare.

My boys-the reader is cranky and on her period and Sam and Dean lovingly take care of her

Shorty-Reader is short but clever and the boys always tease her.

British chippy-Reader is from England so the boys make fun of her accent.

To capture hearts-Both Sam and Dean admit their in love with the reader.

Monster-Reader comes back from Hell a changed person.

Monster Part 2-Reader comes back from Hell a changed person.

Hidden talents-When the brothers and the reader end up in a club and have to act normal they find out the reader has been hiding a secret talent.

Team Free will one shots:

Monopoly- Castiel and Crowley play Monopoly with the reader. The reader loses and Sam walks in hearing her yells, thinking she’s hurt.

I don’t think so-Team free will gets really over protective of the reader when she brings her boyfriend home.

Girls?-Team free will get turned into girls 

The bird and the bee’s-Brothers have to explain to Cas the birds and the bee’s when Cas ask’s if the reader could demonstrate for him.

Make it stop-Bloody valentine episode where the reader craves her old self harm addiction. (Warning: mentions of self harm)

Make it stop Part 2- Team free will go back in time to find out what reader was hiding.

Make it stop Part 3- Reader has to play bait on a hunt.

Leather baby-Reader has had a few stares from wearing her leather jacket.

Twister-Reader plays twister with Team free will

Together- reader is pregnant and going into labor and team free will has to take care of her during an at home birth

Together Part 2- Readers baby get’s taken by demons.

Castiel one shots:

Cry to me-Castiel catches reader dancing to Cry to me so she teaches him how to dance

In every situation (Cas version)- Reader is on her period and Cas helps her.

Angel in a trench coat- Reader puts up walls but Castiel broke through them.

Starring role- Castiel and reader find a baby and have to take care of it while the Winchesters are away.

Winchester sister one shots:

Laughing gas-Reader is Sam and Dean’s little sister and has to have laughing gas.

Pet names- Moments where the brothers have used different pet names on their sister.

Silently mad-Sam leaves his sister after Dean goes to hell, when Dean returns and they go to get her back, they find out she’s not the same.

Silently mad Part 2- Sam finds out his sisters mental health isn't all it seemed to be.

Cry to big brothers- Sister has been hit with a spell that makes her finally show her emotions.

The sad kind- reader is Sam and Deans younger sister (around 15-17) and Dean is drunk. But not the goofy kind of drunk, the sad kind.

A sisters pain-The brothers sister gets hurt on a hunt after training to hard.

A sister?-The boys meet their sister on a hunt and take her back to Bobby’s, only to find out Bobby already knew who she was.

A sister? Part 2- Brothers take their sister with them.

A sister? Part 3-Reader goes missing. 

Invisible-Reader is the sister of Sam and Dean, she constantly feels left out as they ignore her without realizing they are.

Invisible part 2-Reader finally leaves her brothers.

Invisible Part 3-Boys persuade sister to come back.

Invisible Part 4- Sam and Dean realise something has the reader in her mind. 

Invisible Part 5-Bobby and the brothers go into the readers dreams to find out what’s hurting her.

Here to help-Sister has a stutter that she hid from the boys but had now come back and needs her brothers help to get rid of.

How to love-Crowley saves Winchesters little sister from getting attacked.

Heart of Gold-reader is homeless, and bumps into one of the boys from tfw.

Heart of Gold Part 2- Reader stays with the brother.

Heart of gold Part 3- Brothers find out about readers past.

Heart of Gold part 4- Readers bonds with team free will.

Slowly breaking-Everyone notices how the brothers feel, but no one stops to see how the reader feels about everything. (Warning: Self harm and suicide)

Slowly breaking Part 2- Reader gets rushed into hospital.

Slowly breaking Part 3- Brothers don’t like it when they find their sister talking to a boy.

Sketches-Reader is Sam and Dean’s sister and they find out she’s been hiding talents from them.

Always here-Sam refuses to let sister go when Lucifer makes him see her death.

Protective brothers-Lot’s of moments showing where the Reader (sister) is in trouble and big brothers come to the rescue.

Dad’s on a hunting trip-Episode 1 of Dean bringing Sam back just in a version where they have a sister. (not reader though)

Until proven- Sister reader has appendicitis, but Dean doesn’t believe her until they have to rush her into hospital. 

Have a merry christmas- Reader is Winchester brothers little sister and they decide to celebrate Christmas for her.

Protecting you-Dean has to leave to help a friend and leaves Sam in charge of their sister.

You’re safe now- Brothers sister has been acting weird. (Warning: Rape)

You’re safe now Part 2- Brothers try to help the reader

You’re safe now Part 3- Reader tells tfw what happened to her. 

The shadow:

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

SUPERNATURAL REWRITES

SEASON ONE

SEASON TWO

SEASON THREE

SEASON FOUR

SEASON FIVE

SEASON SIX

SEASON SEVEN

SEASON EIGHT

SEASON NINE

SEASON TEN

SEASON ELEVEN

SEASON TWELVE

SEASON THIRTEEN

SEASON FOURTEEN

SEASON FIFTEEN

SERIES ONESHOTS:

Dream On: after Ellie is captured while hunting a Djinn, she and her brothers are faced with a decision to make. (Before Season 1)

The Letter: Sam and Dean make a pact to get Ellie out of her deal, no matter what it takes. (Beginning of Season 3)

Confused Hatred

AO3 Link

Gekko didn’t understand why you hated his little homies.

Most importantly, he couldn’t understand why his little friends wanted so desperately to be liked by you.

He just couldn’t understand you.

And he hated it.

He hated you by extension, too.

---

When Gekko woke up, he felt refreshed and in an amazing mood.

Today was going to be a good day.

He gently woke up and greeted his little homies, sensing that they, too, were in a positive vibe.

He felt like hardly anything could ruin his day.

He exited his room, immediately going for the kitchen to fix himself a latte, happily greeting Cypher while passing by.

“Well, you seem to be in a good mood,” He observed, a smile in his voice.

“Yeah ! I just woke up, too, so the vibes are just perfect right now,” He answered, nodding enthusiastically as he poured his beverage in his cup.

“Glad to hear it, young friend,” The sentinel said, nodding as well.

His critters noticed something, and suddenly grew more agitated. Wingman almost fell off the counter he was sitting on out of pure excitement.

The initiator caught him just in time, however. 

Turning to see the source of the ruckus, he immediately saw you.

Just like that, his bright smile faded away.

You were looking at him and his friends with such disdain and disgust… 

It made his blood boil.

Dizzy slowly flew over to you, trying to appear friendly.

Noticing her, your disgust visibly grew and you took a step back.

She wasn't going to abandon just like that, however, continuing to make her way towards your face.

“If you don't stop that thing right now Gekko, I will swat it away,” You warned, glaring at the poor little homie. 

At least you were nice enough to warn him… 

Gently taking her into his hands, it was his turn to glare at you.

Silently, you held his gaze, as if challenging him, daring him to say anything. 

“What the fuck is your problem ?” He questioned, frowning. 

He felt rage building inside his chest, hot and almost painful.

“I could ask you the same question. Deadlock has already said that those… Things were better off in a cage. Letting them roam free is a safety hazard for everyone,” You replied coolly, your eyes sharp. 

Staring through him and into his soul.

It both freaked him out and made him even angrier. 

“They haven't hurt anyone !” He almost shouted, bringing Dizzy – who he was still holding – closer to his chest protectively. 

“Yet,” You continued, as if you were an oracle and could tell the future. 

Hell, hardly anyone was aware what you were capable of, for all he knew…

He shook his head.

Gekko was giving you way too much credit.

And he wasn't about to ruin his amazing day talking to you. 

Grabbing his now finished drink, he turned away from you to face his little friends.

He could sense their curiosity and pure want to befriend you.

It almost overwhelmed him.

If he wasn't already used to it, he would've been, if he were honest.

“C'mon little homies, let's go somewhere peaceful,” He announced, and he felt their disappointment.

You chuckled, dry and hollow. 

He felt his cheeks grow hotter due to how much anger he was feeling.

“You do know that nowhere will be “peaceful” with them around, right ?” You questioned, nonchalantly. 

He decided for his own good to ignore you, already walking away.

How the initiator allowed you to have that much influence on him was beyond his comprehension. 

Slowly sipping his drink, he watched over Iso and Jett playing with his little friends in the lounge fondly. 

Why couldn't you just…

He sighed, frustrated, while shaking his head. 

He should seriously stop thinking about you.

Maybe he should go for a walk, perhaps that'll clear his mind. 

He waited a bit, not wanting to ruin his homies’ fun. 

But they all knew him too well, and slowly left the two Asian agents to be by his side. 

Mosh was the last one to hop over. 

“Let's go for a walk !” He offered happily. 

They all cheered.

After all, it wasn't often they could explore the garden and by extension the forest, Gekko being too afraid of them getting lost or eating something they shouldn't have.

He didn't know them as much as he'd like, and he hated that.

What if one fell sick ?

… Or worse ?

He shook those thoughts away.

They had two healers that loved his little friends very much and would do anything for them.

They weren't the only ones feeling that way, too.

Now in a better headspace once again, he went outside, his friends following him close by. 

He looked around, admiring the scenery and the peacefulness of nature, following the path towards the garden, which was being taken care of by both Skye and Omen.

He didn’t expect to see anybody there other than those two.

Instead of literally anybody else, he saw you. 

He almost groaned in discontent, but then he saw the expression you were wearing.

You didn’t even have your eyes open as you simply listened to the world around you, content.

He noticed a bunny hopping next to you, and some birds curiously observing you very closely.

Even if he hated your guts, he admitted that this scene was…

Peaceful.

Pretty.

When you opened your eyes, he fully expected you to shoo away the animals around you, but instead…

You gently smiled at them, offering them a tiny bit of your food.

He truly couldn’t understand you.

What was so different between his critters and regular animals ?

He could argue that his little homies were more likeable than any animal, since he could at least communicate with them.

Sighing softly, he was turning around when he accidentally stepped on a dry twig that snapped rather loudly…

… Spooking every animal nearby in the process.

He winced, not uttering a single word.

He started making a step away from the whole scene, away from you, but your voice made him stop dead in his tracks. 

“Hey,” You spoke up, coldly. “You could at least apologise…” You continued, your tone dry. 

Right.

“Sorry about that,” He apologised, not turning to you. 

“So on top of being a freak lover, you’re a freak yourself ? Just watching people silently while they’re having a nice time outside ?” You spat, clearly unhappy. 

“My homies aren’t freaks !” He exclaimed, whipping his body around to face you. 

“So you aren’t denying the other claims ?” You retorted without missing a beat.

“Insult me all you want, but do not come for my friends,” He hissed, using his body to block your view of his little homies. 

It was Thrash’s turn to try to get close to you, and she floated her way happily and curiously.

Gekko realised that she was attempting to mimic the movements of a bunny.

He would’ve cooed if this action weren’t to have your good graces, out of everybody’s. 

“Get that thing away from me while you’re at it,” You ordered, shifting away from her path.

“I don’t get why you don’t like them and yet like animals,” He muttered, kneeling to get Thrash’s attention.

“Those aren’t animals, that’s why,” You replied as if it was obviously why. 

The initiator only scoffed in answer.

He received a notification from his phone.

It was from Brimstone, telling him he was on the mission in the evening.

He smiled, that would mean that he would get away from you for a bit-

“Huh, it seems like I’m on mission duty for tonight…” You mumbled, thoughtful.

He groaned.

The mission brief was simple ; get to Icebox, prevent the Valorant Legion from planting to spike – or diffuse it if they do get it down – and go home.

As to why they needed both him and you on the same mission…

Well, even if it was explained to him multiple times, he still didn’t get it.

… But he also knew that what you were capable of was unknown to him, and since it was the best team composition for this plan…

He sighed.

He felt his critters being agitated, since he was forced to sit right next to you.

He didn’t like being close to you.

It always made him feel… Weird.

He knew why, though.

He still didn’t like the reason at all.

But he remained silent about it.

He didn’t want to let you of all people know how much you influenced his mood.

Or even how he truly felt about you.

He already knew the answer to his question, after all.

Before he realised it, they arrived at Icebox.

Being one of the first to step out of the Falcon, he turned to Sage, the assigned team leader for this mission.

“So… Game plan ? What are you feeling, Sage ?” He asked, trying to sound as jovial as normal.

He wasn’t really feeling it, but at least he could try, right ?

She immediately turned to you.

“Can you hold B site with Gekko ?” She gently questioned, and you met eyes with him.

After holding gazes for a moment, you had a small sigh.

“Sure,” You caved, tearing your gaze away from him.

Stepping out of the aircraft, your cheeks and nose immediately turning a light pink.

He looked away.

He wasn’t looking forward to this mission.

It has now been a few hours since they arrived, the sun long gone and temperatures dropping way below zero.

He had to admit, he was freezing. He thought he’d be fine with just a couple of layers, but the cold was really biting, and he was struggling to hold both his weapon and keep his face warm. 

He glanced at you.

You didn’t seem to be having any problems at all. 

Steadily holding your angle by Yellow, you didn’t even seem phased by the freezing cold air.

“Hold your angle instead of looking at me,” You said, not tearing your eyes away from Main.

Right, he needed to hold Mid and Tube.

Looking away, he readjusted his grip on his Bulldog. 

He was losing the feeling of the tip of his fingers.

“Hey, any updates ?” He questioned into the quiet comm link.

He hated how shaky his voice sounded

“Not yet, however they should be attacking soon,” Answered Sage, her tone even.

He sighed.

“How soon is soon, anywa-” He was cut off by gunshots. “Nevermind,” He continued, immediately running towards you.

“Stay in your position, I got it,” You immediately said when you realised what he was doing.

You managed to put one down, but not without receiving a bullet or two yourself.

He heard footsteps behind him. 

Pulling out Dizzy, he threw her out to blind his attackers while getting to cover.

He counted two blinds.

“Someone’s here, too !” He semi-shouted into the comms.

“We are on our way,” Said Neon as he could hear the familiar noise of her running. 

She should be here within a couple seconds, then.

As if on cue, Gekko heard her electrified footsteps by Snowman. 

Looking over to where you were at, he was surprised to see that you were struggling.

“I’m going to try to get out of this position, cover me if you can,” You announced between two shots.

Wingman immediately went out of his bag and ran towards the enemy he saw, making them look at him instead of you, giving you enough time to run away towards Gekko.

“Can you cover me while I get Dizzy ?” He asked in the heat of the moment.

He didn’t know what he expected from his request.

A refusal, an insult, anything but…

“Sure,” You said, not looking at him.

He was too distracted by the fact that you accepted to realise that you were already shooting to cover him.

It wasn’t until you shouted at him to get his ass moving that he went back to earth, running towards Dizzy’s bubble and picking her up. 

He dashed back into cover, only sustaining a couple of light injuries. 

Soon enough, Thrash felt ready to be thrown onto the field.

He barely registered what happened next, everything going so fast.

One minute, he was holding Thrash in his palm, the next, she was diving in front of you to take a swarm of bullets that would’ve definitely killed you and turned into her bubble form.

Somehow too stunned to move and to kill the enemy in front of you, the initiator decided to take him down in your stead.

There was no way he would let Thrash’s sacrifice go in vain. 

The rest of the gunfight went by. 

Bit by bit, the enemy numbers went down, until the last body hit the ground as you shot the mirror agent in the head. 

Everybody relaxed and let their guard down as Gekko went around the site to pick up his little homies.

He was exhausted, and he could tell it was the case for the others, too.

When his eyes landed on you, you had an unreadable look on your face as you stared at the body of the Omega Earth agent that almost killed you if Thrash didn’t act that fast. 

He wondered what was going through your mind. 

Your eyes met. 

He held your gaze, unwavering, as he sat up from his kneeling position.

He shivered. 

He really should’ve brought an extra coat…

The initiator looked away, already starting to walk towards the Falcon, when he heard another pair of footsteps behind him.

Knowing it was you, he paid it no mind.

He froze when he felt a soft and warm extra layer on his shoulder.

Turning to you, bewildered, he saw how close your two faces were.

Your breaths were merging into one.

You looked away, taking a step back, looking almost… Embarrassed ?

“If you go hypothermic now, Sage will spend too much time with you and neglect everybody else,” You simply justified, walking away as your cheeks got visibly redder. 

He decided to blame it on the cold, feeling his own face growing hotter, too.

A few days had passed since that mission, and Gekko could tell you wanted to say something to him.

Every time he was alone, you were looking at him expectantly, sometimes even daring to take a few steps towards him before… 

Turning away once your eyes locked in with each other.

He sighed.

You were starting to bug him, if he was honest.

He didn’t mind the distance you took from him, by all means.

… Was it weird that he sorta, just maybe missed the banter ?

…

Probably.

He sighed, frustrated.

He was just chilling on his bed in his room, staring at the ceiling while the little critters were either sleeping or quietly chilling.

What was he going to do with you ?

Should he continue this cycle of hatred that has been going on for months now, or should he attempt for what felt like the umpteenth time to be the bigger person ?

A soft, gentle – almost shy – knock brought him back to earth as well as catching the attention of Wingman and Mosh, the only two still awake.

He didn’t recognise the pattern.

“Come in,” He invited, expecting someone like Sage to enter.

He froze when he saw you, however.

You were wearing one of your gigantic oversized hoodies, definitely too big for your form, hands deep in your pockets. 

Wingman immediately ran to greet you, and you tensed, your expression – previously timid and almost apologetic – quickly changing to surprise and wariness. 

“Wingman, c’mere. We talked about this,” He recalled the little guy, who for once, listened to him. 

You visibly relaxed once he was back at an acceptable distance.

You closed the door behind you.

He guessed you were finally going to commit to what you were attempting to say for the last few days.

Your eyes landed on Thrash.

“How is it ?” You asked almost too quietly for him to hear. 

“She’s doing fine, no thanks to you,” He answered coolly, studying you. 

Your expression didn’t change as you slowly shifted your eyes from Thrash’s sleeping form to Dizzy’s, then to Wingman and finally… Mosh.

It was as if you were trying to see something.

Whatever you were attempting to find, you didn’t manage to, and you frowned. 

“What’s up ?” He questioned, squinting.

He almost got up from his bed to shield them away from your sight.

There was always something with your eyes.

As if you were able to stare into someone’s….

He didn’t know.

But you could see something, and not knowing what made him uneasy.

He heard rumours about your touch, too.

Always brief, always accidental.

But for a short moment, they felt more aware, almost opening a third eye into the future.

“Did I ever tell you why I didn’t like you and your things ?” Your voice brought him back from his thoughts.

He took some time to attempt to remember the reason why, but…

You both started off rather well, but as soon as you met the homies, you had immediately shutted down and started the hating cycle. 

“Nah, you never told anybody, or I would know,” He said confidently.

You chuckled.

“A handful of people know, but I asked them to not tell you,” You replied, shifting your weight.

“... Why ?” He questioned, visibly and audibly confused. 

“I’m going to tell you now,” You reassured, then sighed. “Don’t freak out, but when I lock eyes with people… I become more aware of them. It’s hard to explain, but I can understand them on a deeper level, know their fears and hopes, hell, even their past sometimes for example,” You explained, refusing to meet his eyes. 

Why… 

Why were you telling him this ?

“It’s universal for every living thing, radiant or not. But…” You locked eyes with Wingman. “When I look into your things, I don’t see anything. I can’t sense anything, it’s just… Void,” You finally said, rubbing your elbow. 

“And that’s why you don’t like them ?” He asked, still confused but… He started to understand.

“Basically,” You sighed. “It just, it freaks me out, man. I don’t wanna find out what happens when I touch them, so I always try to avoid it if I can. So far, I’ve succeeded,” You continued, looking at the floor. 

“That explains for the little homies but… Why don’t you like me ?” He enquired, fearing the answer.

“That’s ‘cause I can’t figure you out. I genuinely can’t tell if you wanna gut me or fuck me or even if you hate or love me… Hurts my head, sometimes,” You replied honestly, still not looking at him.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” He denied, feeling his face and ears grow hot.

“Totally not why you’re blushing, too, huh ?” You replied, amused.

He looked at you, and your eyes met.

He remembered what you said earlier, but he knew it was too late.

If you didn’t know before, you certainly knew now. 

“You actually love me,” You announced out loud, surprise clear on your face.

He didn’t say anything, bracing for the impact of rejection. 

“Here I thought I was alone in this,” You muttered, loud enough for him to hear.

“Huh ?” He intelligently said.

“I love you too, dumbass,” You announced, louder this time.

That was…

“Wild,” He instinctively said, which made you chuckle.

“Indeed,” You confirmed, relaxing.

Sure, everything wasn’t perfect yet, but now that the air was cleared up…

Gekko finally felt like he had a chance with you.

What was he saying, of course he had one.

He was just glad that it wasn’t going to be toxic.

That you were actually trying in this relationship, too.