Zhongli Has A Moss Bed For His Pet Rocks ...

“why do you like this character you do know that if they existed they’d just try to kill you right” actually no they’d fall madly in love with me

Albedo: If you bite it and you die, it's poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it's venomous.

Amber: What if it bites me and it dies?

Albedo: Then you're poisonous.

Jean: What if it bites itself and I die?

Albedo: That's voodoo.

Noelle: What if it bites me and someone else dies?

Albedo: That's correlation, not causation.

Lisa: What if we bite each other and neither of us die?

Kaeya: That's kinky.

Jean, shaking her head: Oh my god-

Hi hi hi!! I love your writing, I've been binging so much of BNHA fic accounts and you're one of my very favourites!! Could you possibly do a memelord reader and Bakugou who pretends not to understand what she's talking about and catches her off guard and makes her do a snort laugh?? I sometimes get surprised by my super todoroki-esque roommate and I have to hold my nose so I don't snort !! I love u! XXXX

I’m pretty sure I know who requested this and if I’m right, even if I’m wrong just know I love you because the concept of Bakugou with a bubbly jokey s/o is one of my favorites

Warnings: swearing

Pairing: Katsuki Bakugou x reader

 - Spending any amount of time near Kaminari you just kinda absorb meme knowledge regardless of if you want to or not 

- So naturally Bakugou knows exactly what she’s going on about

- She doesn’t need to know he knows though 

- It’s way funnier to watch her pout when he stares at her with a blank face before walking away 

- She’ll follow him around while complaining about how that last reference was funny and he has no taste 

- “Come on! That one was gold!” “The only thing that was, was complete bul-” “Tsuki!”

- No one is sure how they get along so well 

- Like you’d think he’d find her constant references and insistence that he look at the new meme she’s found/made would annoy him

- But no, he actually thinks it’s really cute 

- She gets excited and bounces around with this goofy little grin

- It’s just really adorable and he doesn’t know how to deal with it so he doesn't 

- There are times when he comes close to slipping up, so he literally just runs off

- She has pretty good sense of humor and decent taste, at least better than Kaminari’s

- Not that he’d ever willingly tell her that 

- He’d rather die than admit he likes her stupid memes

- Although there was this one time, he slipped up 

- She was upset about something he did 

- “Katsu, Baby I love you but I’m this close to killing you” “You can’t kill me I’m a bad bitch”

- He hadn’t even thought about it before he said it, it just came out 

- He was mortified for a minute but then she snorted at him

- Fucking snorted 

- Fuck that’s cute 

- He made an effort to make her laugh like that again afterwards 

- Will only do it when it’s just them much to her confusion 

- “Katsuki, why do you only make jokes like that when we’re alone?” “No one will believe you this way” “Katsuki what the fuck?”

x

THIS THREAD IS MAKING ME LOSE IT

(their twitter; their ao3)

concept: malewife childe. he gets tired of being far away from you on missions & leaves his position as a harbinger to become a house husband. imagine waking up on a lazy morning and trudging to the kitchen to see him cooking breakfast in a pink apron with nothing underneath. u smack his ass and say good morning and he holds up a piece of bacon to your mouth, so you take a bite, but he kisses you and steals it back- (ok, this started out as a joke to clown on childe but idk if im joking anymore)

!!! Domestic malewife Childe!!!!

Sweet house husband Childe who learns how to cook your favorite food, who knows how cold or warm you prefer to keep the house, lighting a fire in the hearth or opening the windows accordingly <3 akjdsnak bRuh domestic Childe would be sooo sweet because even if he's retired, he's obvs still loaded from his days as a harbinger, so you two can live comfortably!! He'd buy such sweet heartfelt gifts aksjdnkajsn

AND THE THING w the apron and the holding up the piece of bacon for u to eat–– aksjdnskj. A DREAM <#3

This started out as a joke, but bestie I don't think it's a joke anymore––

childe scenario – after the golden house

you, an ex-fatui executive, decide against your better judgment and tend to the wounds of the near-dead 11th harbinger following his duel at the golden house.  spoilers for the 1.1 archon quest.

gender-neutral reader.  enemies to lovers  soft spot syndrome.  sfw, but contains mentions of blood/injury.  also childe briefly in foul legacy armor.  canon-divergence.  2669 words (nice).  

Keep reading

you’ve almost got it! also i mean all of this in a friendly non-bitchy way, just to clarify preemptively

i’m not bi, but i have many friends who are & have been in that community for a long time & have given me more information about it. i am pan, however, and have identified as such & been in the community for many years! (and have been caught in the middle of this type of discourse many, many times in the pvp arena that is twitter.)

bisexuality, to my understanding, can be defined a few different ways: being attracted to both masculine & feminine people, being attracted to genders both like & unlike your own, and being attracted to 2 or more genders. i’ve seen different people define it different ways, and while i don’t think there’s one right way to be bi (or anything else), i’m not sure which of these definitions is the most widely related to, so i’m listing them all. what i am sure of, though, is that bisexuality does not exclude trans or nonbinary people! we have always & will always be included. so yeah, it doesn’t only mean “attraction to men and women” and most bi people i’ve spoken to seem to dislike that definition (mostly bc the way it’s worded excludes some nb people). also, it’s not uncommon for bi people to have a preference or “lean” towards one gender/s more than another.

pansexuality, which i’m much more familiar with, can also be defined multiple ways: being attracted to all genders, or being attracted to people regardless of gender (i’m sure there’s others, but from my own experience & all the pan people i’ve spoken to, those are the most widely used descriptions). however, it’s not necessarily accurate to say that being pan is being attracted to personality and not looks (or as some people have put it, “hearts not parts”). firstly, because this could imply that other sexualities are only attracted to looks & not personality; second, because it could imply that pan people aren’t attracted to looks at all; and third, because it entirely disregards the split attraction model that many people including myself use (for example: pansexual/aromantic, panromantic/asexual, etc etc). pansexuality can express both physical & emotional/romantic attraction just like any other orientation! also, pansexuality also includes both trans & nb people, obviously. i’ve found it’s much less common for pan people to have a preference or lean, but some of us do!

overall, bi & pan are admittedly very similar, and there’s a great deal of overlap in the people someone who uses one of these labels might be attracted to, but they are slightly different. both are valid, neither erases the other, and neither is transphobic. at the end of the day, the labels we put on our sexualities and orientations are nothing more than tools to serve us and help us express ourselves. they aren’t rigid boxes we must contort ourselves to fit into, and they certainly aren’t weapons with which to harm others (i’m looking at the people who say bisexuality is transphobic as i say that). labels can flex and bend and adopt new/more meanings over time just like any other word in our language, and that’s ok! the way everyone experiences attraction is different and complex, and labels are only here for our own comfort, and sometimes finding a community of similar people. there’s no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ way to be bi or pan or anything else, as long as you’re not blatantly disregarding the meaning (like.. someone calling themself a lesbian but expressing attraction to men, or something like that).

anyways, not to ramble or get on my soapbox or anything. again, i’m not the Pan Authority or w/e, nor is there one. everyone has their own thoughts & opinions - these are just mine. sorry this got kinda long; i hope some of this helped and made sense, i’m not great at articulating skdfhlkshfk!!!

if you saw me edit this like 3 times no you didn’t. i fucked up my grammar leave me be /j

Can y'all bitches settle something for me bc it came up in conversation

and i know i'm going to get some heat for this but

the stupid fucking "bisexuals like men and women while pan like everyone" is ridiculous and incorrect

because pansexuality is liking someone regardless of gender right? you dont care about looks? You're in it for the personality, correct? that's what i've always been taught when learning about pansexuality

meanwhile bisexuality does indeed care about looks while pansexuality doesnt. however contrary to popular belief, bisexuality does not exclude transgenders and nonbinaries. If you're hot you're hot, right?

I dont think people who identify as bisexual but exclude the other genders from the two main ones are bisexuals? if that makes sense?

at the end of the day, i know "identify how you want to identify" but pansexuality prioritizes personality and disregards gender, right? meanwhile bisexualty still cares about how you look, but does not exclude any gender. yes there are types and you can lean one way more than another but if you're hot you're hot?

idk if this makes sense, i'm bad at wording things, and I'm also still learning despite being in the community so?

help me learn this, am i correct or incorrect

pansexual is for personality and for everyone

bisexual is for looks and for everyone

also if you're going to try to correct me but be a bitch about it, then i'll just assume i'm right and you're wrong because? why you gotta be mean about it baby? i'm just asking a question and trying to learn more about this. i'm sorry if i'm wrong and i have the wrong mindset but?? at least i'm trying to learn aye?

- ein

Hi! Can I request headcanons or scenarios about Childe and Kaeya(separately) reacting to this:

Reader : asks to be hugged

Childe/Kaeya: says something like "oh? You really want a hug from me?"

And then reader just says "oh, sorry. I didn't want to bother you" and starts leaving. Reader is just pretending, because he's tired of their teasing and wants it to backfire! He want's to see their reaction too! Hope this makes sense! Male reader. Fluff. Thank you!

This makes a lot of sense! Very fluffy, I love it :)

Childe

-asking this man for a hug fills his ego

-“oh? The pretty boy wants a hug from a handsome man?”

-smug man thinks he’s gonna see you flush when he smirks up at you

-Childe thinks he’s gonna make his boyfriend turn bright red with embarrassment but he’s shocked when he sees your reaction

-“then I’ll just go ask Scaramouch, since he’s ya know, a handsome man.”

-his jaw drops to the floor when he hears that

-“what do you mean baby? I’m right here??”

-look him up and down for dramatic affect

-Childe can’t hide his true emotions from you so it’s very obvious that he’s freaked out

Kaeya

-this man gets so giddy whenever you ask him for hugs

-any affection from his cute boyfriend makes him so happy

-except this time this smug cyro user decided to get cocky and tease you

-“hm? Asking me for a hug? You want me to warm you up? Just say so,handsome~”

-he was so confident that he would get a flustered yes and then pull you into a loving embrace,but no

-“well,with your vision it might be hard to warm me up...I’m gonna go see if Diluc is busy

-“HUH????”

-man is so shocked he literally throws himself at you and starts to beg

-he might even start to sniffle before you can explain yourself