I'm just gonna go cry in the corner now...
Steve carries Eddie’s body through the gate, blood soaking his clothes where silent tears fail to wash it away. It feels like Eddie’s blood is going to seep into is body and stay there under his skin like a tattoo. A reminder for all eternity that happy endings were only ever an invention by people who didn’t know anything about life.
“He’s losing so much blood,” Robin keeps wheezing behind him, breathless with the weight of it all, and Steve wants to say something, wants to comfort her that it doesn’t matter, it doesn’t hurt him, he won’t need the blood anymore. But the words get stuck in his throat as more tears fall.
Eddie’s hand is cold in his, and it will forever haunt him. Still, he’s not ready to let go when they reach the remnants of the trailer, when his knees give out and he collapses onto the soiled mattress. But whatever stains they were, they’re history now underneath all that blood.
History is the thing with the bloodstained beds and lost, abandoned homes, is it not? History is the part where everything gets ripped from you and you’re meant to keep standing. Keep fighting.
History, right now, looks a lot like a future unwritten, with Eddie’s hand in his, cold and unfeeling.
Steve still doesn’t say a word.
The world has larger problems than his failed attempts at grief. Ripped apart at its seams, wilting and rotting and overcome with death and decay, Hawkins needs Steve Harrington to once again show a strength he shouldn’t have to possess.
He helps. Donates clothes, offers his home, his kitchen, his bedrooms to everyone in need. Donates his time, his smile, his thoughts to the people who have the fortune and the privilege to think nothing of him.
Funerals are a daily occasion — with or without the bodies — and so Steve doesn’t even think about it when Dustin approaches him about Eddie.
“He shouldn’t be put on public display like that,” Dustin says and Steve marvels, for a second, that he still has his voice. “He deserves more than a freakshow, and they’re so busy, but they said they could… They could come and—and prepare him. The body. Bring him over. Have a proper service for him, those who knew, those who cared about. Could we do it at your place? Please?”
His eyes sting as he nods and pulls Dustin into a hug that leaves his shirt wet. It’s fine. All his clothes have the memory of tear stains on them, and tear stains are better than blood; a kinder version of history.
It’s a week after… a week since… It’s been a week, when they finally have the funeral for Eddie. Steve doesn’t mean to be there, he shouldn’t be, he can’t be, not when he still scrubs at his skin where Eddie’s blood used to be and he wants to get it out of there because he knows it’s inside him, he knows it’s in there; he knows because he’s hurting all over. Everything, everything hurts. And he can’t wash it away, the memory, the stains, the part where past and future became history and present became nothing but pain. He can’t—
He can’t.
Eddie refused to run and it’s all Steve wants to do anymore. It’s not fair. It’s not.
He shuts himself away from the world in his room and tries to scratch it away, the memory of the blood. He wants to scream and to shout and to talk and to apologise, but he can’t, because there are no words.
And then Dustin is talking, and Steve stops tearing at his skin to listen. He can’t hear the words but he can hear the pain, he can hear the way Dustin is stronger than him, always has been, and he opens the door. Slips down the stairs slowly until he sees it. The open coffin with Eddie’s body, his hair glowing in the light of the afternoon sun.
“He was the coolest, kindest, bravest guy I know,” Dustin says, but Steve doesn’t want to hear it, so he stops listening as he reaches the foot of the stairs and keeps walking, closer to Eddie, always closer, always so, so close.
And he misses the touch, misses those dark brown eyes that were so kind, and he wants to see them again. They’re closed. They shouldn’t be closed; the world has to see. Has to see the kindness in those eyes, the beauty, the wonderful things they’d think of.
Silence falls around him but Steve doesn’t care, doesn’t really notice; not when those eyes are closed, not when he reaches out to open them as a way to right all the wrongs in the world now.
But then his eyes fall to Eddie’s bare throat, and everything is wrong once more, no chance to right it, because—
“Where’s his pick? He needs-Eddie needs his plectrum to play. He can’t play without his pick, he can’t— The bats will get him, please, you have to… He needs his pick.”
And Steve falls apart as he finds his words again, words that rip into his very soul, tearing at the fabric of the world itself and turning it upside down. There are hands on his shoulders, trying to pull him away from the coffin, but he clings to it even as his knees start to give out while sobs wreck through his body.
“It’s okay, boy,” someone tells him, and Steve falls back into Hoppers chest, strong arms holding him up instead of pulling him away from Eddie. “It’s okay.”
He’s shaking his head, vision blurry now, and maybe there’s a bit of irony in the way that Steve and Eddie will both have had their last visions of each other be blurred with tears.
“It’s not, it’s not okay,” he insists, trying to shake off the hands holding him up. He wants to fall apart; wants to break; wants to be gone. Don’t hold me together, let me shatter. “You— You all wanted me to talk. You wanted me to!”
He’s gasping for breath again, hiccuping through the tears and the words and the weakness.
“I’m talking. Eddie, I love you. I wanna love you, and now I’m gonna, forever, but I don’t want the sad kind of forever. I want… Please, please he needs his pick, he can’t play without it.”
And then he’s on the floor, sobbing, and the words are gone again. Robin, Dustin and Hopper go down with him, but even they can’t put him together now.
“Steve,” Dustin says, voice hoarse with the weight of his own tears. “It’s here, see? I’ve got his pick, it’s safe. Do you wanna give it to him? Make sure he has it forever?”
He does. But he can’t bring himself to let go. Wayne comes up and places a scratched up piece of plastic on Eddie’s chest.
“He used to leave ‘em all ‘round the trailer. I always keep ‘em with me the days. Found this one under the couch before we… He’ll have it now, see? He can play again, our boy can play again.”
Steve falls apart until he doesn’t remember what piece of himself goes where. But it’s fine. Eddie will play again.
@thefreakandthehair technically you didn’t do this, but you sure didn’t discourage me from writing this (inspired by the My Girl funeral scene)
dear writers who are slower/take more time with their writing or writers who are on hiatus or writers who are trying to find their voice again, i see you and i love you and you are valid
Steve Harrington x reader
Inspired by this post @forevermoreharrington
Steve had always been the life of the party. With his charming smile and quick wit, he could make anyone feel at ease. But behind that confident exterior, he was hiding a deep insecurity that he had never quite been able to shake.
Steve had always been a romantic at heart. He loved the idea of being in a relationship, of sharing his life with someone special. But every time he tried to get close to someone, it always seemed to backfire.
In his early relationships, Steve would try to be affectionate and attentive, showering his partner with compliments and gifts. But he quickly learned that not everyone appreciated his brand of romance. Some of his partners would pull away, telling him that he was being too intense or that he needed to give them space.
This rejection hurt Steve deeply. He couldn't understand why his efforts to show his love were being met with such resistance. As a result, he began to hold back, to keep his feelings to himself for fear of scaring his partner away.
But even that didn't work. His partners would accuse him of being distant, of not being emotionally available. Steve couldn't win. It seemed like no matter what he did, he always managed to push his partners away.
But then he met you.
From the moment you first smiled at him, Steve felt something shift inside of him. It was a small gesture, just a quick flash of teeth, but for Steve, it was like a bolt of lightning had struck him. He couldn't explain why, but he felt an instant connection to you. Maybe it was the way your eyes crinkled at the corners, or the way your hair fell in soft waves around your face. Whatever it was, Steve was hooked. It was as if all of his insecurities melted away in your presence. You were so warm and open, so eager to be close to him, that he couldn't help but be drawn to you.
At first, it was scary for Steve. In the early days of your relationship, Steve was almost overwhelmed by the sheer amount of affection you showed him. It was like a dam had burst, and suddenly he was being showered with love and attention in a way that he had never experienced before.
At first, he was a little unsure of how to respond. He would feel himself tense up when you reached for his hand or leaned in for a kiss. He wasn't used to this level of physical intimacy, and it took him some time to get comfortable with it.
But you were patient with him. You could tell that he was struggling, and you didn't want to push him too hard too fast. So you started small, with gentle touches and soft kisses. You let Steve set the pace, always waiting for him to take the lead. But as time went on, he began to relax into your touch, to let himself be vulnerable with you in a way that he never had before. He found himself craving your touch, yearning for the warmth of your body next to his. He loved the way you would run your fingers through his hair, tracing lazy patterns on his scalp. It was like all of the walls he had built up around himself were starting to crumble.
And then there were the kisses. Steve had never been much of a public display of affection kind of guy, but with you, he couldn't resist. He loved the way you would pull him in for a kiss in the middle of the street, not caring who saw you. It was like you were telling the world that he was yours, and he loved the possessiveness of it.
You would stay up late talking, laughing at each other's jokes and sharing stories about your lives. You would hold hands as you walked down the street, fingers intertwined in a way that felt like you were meant to be together.
And whenever Steve would start to feel that old familiar pang of insecurity, you were always there to reassure him. You would tell him how much you adored him, how much you loved being close to him, how you could never imagine being with anyone else.
It was one of those nights, lying in bed together, that you finally said the words that Steve had been waiting to hear.
"I love you," you whispered, your voice soft and sweet.
Steve's heart skipped a beat. He had wanted to say those words to you for so long, but he had been too afraid of scaring you away. Now, as he looked into your eyes, he knew that he had nothing to fear.
"I love you too," he said, his voice filled with emotion. "I've loved you since the moment I met you, but I was too scared to say it. I didn't want to mess things up."
You reached out to stroke his hair, your fingers trailing softly over his scalp.
"You could never mess things up with me," you said, your voice filled with sincerity. "I'm here for you, always."
And as Steve held you close, he knew that he had finally found the person who could chase away his insecurities, who could make him feel loved and cherished in a way that he had never thought possible. With you by his side, he knew that he could face anything that life threw his way.
Billy Hargrove x Reader
Summery-Reader mourns the death of her love, Billy Hargrove after his death in the Starcourt Mall Incident
1.3k words
Billy stands from kneeling over Eleven, facing the Mind Flayer. Eleven starts to back up, Y/N reaching out to grab her and help her up, but is distracted by the long tentacle-like arm that comes out of the monster's mouth. Before it can grab onto Eleven, Billy takes hold of it, pushing back on it. More tentacles emerge from its body, slamming into the teen's body, first on his left, then his right. Another two to his back. Billy lets go of the first tentacle, screaming in pain. Y/N wills her body to stay put, knowing she'll only make it worse if she tried to make it release her boyfriend from its slimy grasp.
Billy falls to his knees, looking at the monster head-on, almost as if he's asking if that's all it's got. Black goo and blood oozes from his mouth, rolling down his chin and neck, down to his white muscle shirt.
The Mind Flayer opens its mouth once more, another tentacle arm coming from its mouth, shooting out and embedding itself in the center of Billy's chest. The troubled teen falls quiet, slumping down and to the side when the tentacles let go of him.
Y/N is the first at his side, her hands falling to his blood and goo-covered cheeks. Billy sputters, spitting blood and goo onto her face, but Y/N couldn't care any less right now.
"I love you, Y/N/N." Billy whispers to her, giving her a gentle smile.
"No, no Billy, come on, we gotta get you out of here." She says, trying to get the boy she loves to move. Max falls at her side, telling Billy to get up.
Billy looks at his step-sister once before uttering his last words, "I'm sorry." Y/N watches as his chest stops moving, his eyes becoming unfocused and glazed over as he looks at the ruined ceiling.
Y/N's eyes shoot open the moment she wakes up. Her body is drenched in a cold sweat, soaking through the thin layer of clothing she has on and into the bed sheets under her and blankets around her. A harsh breath leaves her trembling lips, her eyes momentarily closing to try and fight off the tears filling them.
The shaking girl pulls herself out of her bed, throwing on a random sweatshirt from the floor and grabbing a pair of shoes. She treads lightly down the stairs and out to the driveway to the car awaiting her. She quietly slips into the driver's seat, pushing the keys into the ignition, listening to the engine's roar as it comes to life. The newly fixed blue Camero is quickly backed out of the driveway and tearing down the roads of Hawkins in a matter of minutes, driving to the only place the driver can think of.
The Quarry
Y/N steps out of the Camero, sitting down on the hood, looking over the cliff's ledge. The screams from her dream comes back, running through her head again. She closes her eyes again, trying to will the tears away, but it doesn't work this time. Salty tears roll down her cheeks, falling onto the sweatshirt she's wearing, which she just noticed was Billy's. The tears flow harder down her cheeks when she sees the police lights roll up behind her. It's only about a minute between the tires coming to a stop and the door of the Blazer being opened before Chief Jim Hopper is standing next to the hood of the Camero, letting out a sad sigh.
"Max call?" Y/N asks, looking out over the water instead of the chief.
"You know she did. She heard you start the Camero and drive off. She called for me to check on you, make sure you didn't wrap yourself around a tree." Jim says from next to her, taking off his hat and tossing it onto the hood in front of Y/N.
"Yeah, well you can go now, Chief. As you can see, I didn't wrap my car around a tree, so you're free to tell her I'm perfectly fine." Y/N said, a slight edge to her tone.
"Look, you and I both know you're not fine. Max, Steve, everyone knows you're not fine. We know you lost someone, but so did Max, Joyce did last year, and Nancy did two years ago. You're not the only one who has lost someone in this mess. You're not the only one hurting, so maybe you should stop looking at it like you're the only one hurting, 'cause you're not." Jim said but immediately felt guilty as soon as it left his mouth. A tear slid down Y/N's cheek when she looked down at her lap. "Y/N, I didn't mean it like that." Jim tried to backtrack, but it didn't work.
"Leave," Y/N whispered, still not looking at the chief.
"Y/N, c'mon, you know I didn't mean it like that." Jim said, reaching out to rest his hand on her arm.
Y/N flinches away from the contact, raising her voice to get her point across. "I said leave! You can see I'm fine so leave me alone!" She yells, her voice echoing around the quarry. Jim lets his hand fall from her arm, backing up and back to his Blazer. Y/N watches as he drives back down the road, turning around when she can no longer see the large vehicle.
The mourning girl is quick to jump off the hood of the Camero, standing there and staring out at the blue water before she screams. And screams. And screams until her voice cracks and breaks, until her throat is raw. She falls to her knees on the rocks, letting sobs rack her body. She's uncaring of the way the rocks dig into her knees not covered by her pajama shorts. The pain shooting up her legs from the rocks is nothing compared to the pain of losing the one she loved the most.
Y/N is unaware of the BMW pulling in behind the Camero, a concerned Steve and even more concerned Max step out. She has no idea how long she sits on the ground and sobs. It could have been minutes, hours, or even days, she doesn't know. All she knows is as she's crying, warm arms wrap around her from behind, pulling her off her knees and resting her butt on the ground. She begins to cry harder when she hears the sweet and soothing sound of Steve Harrington talking to her gently.
"I know, Y/N. I know you're hurting, I know. I'm so sorry." He says, repeating how sorry he is for her. Not long after Steve embraces her, Max is wrapping herself around her brother's girlfriend like a koala. Trying to soothe her cries.
Y/N is once again not sure how long the three of them sit on the ground in a tight embrace, but her cries eventually slow to small sniffles. They continue to sit in silence for a few more minutes before Max pulls away, looking at Y/N. "Let's go home Y/N/N. Billy wouldn't want us out here this late at night." Y/N nods her head, letting Max up first, then Steve, and finally, Steve pulls her to her feet. Max walks to the passenger back seat, sitting down in the car, waiting for the other two.
Steve pulls Y/N into one last bone-crushing hug. "You have no idea how sorry I am Y/N. I want nothing more than to bring Billy back, even if I hated his guts. I hate seeing you in so much pain. I wish there was something I could do for you." Steve says, ending his words with a kiss pressed to Y/N's hairline.
"I know, Steve. I just need some time." She says, squeezing his middle one last time before she lets go and walks over to the BMW. The Camero would be picked up later when Y/N was a little more stable.
The Camero would be just fine in Billy's favorite place. Just for one last time...
hi, can i have a request? this might be a sensitive topic and it’s totally okay if you’re uncomfortable with it, i get it! but my grandma died a few days ago and it was my birthday the next day, so you know..there was nothing to celebrate..and i was wondering if you could write chris x reader where he gently wakes her up, holding a cupcake with a candle in it and she’s like “what’s that”, forgetting it’s her birthday so he tells her and it’s jist soft? now when i write it it doesn’t make any sense but.. would it be possible to write something like that? or sth similar or sth soft idk and again if not, that’s okay!!..i love you, thank you!❤️(and i’m sorry for bothering you:(
I was about to go to sleep, but then I got this, and it made me tear up. I’m very, very sorry for your loss ❤️ I hope this is somewhat along the lines of what you were looking for, love. And please know you're never bothering me!
warnings: loss of a relative, refer to request
~~~
He didn't get much rest – in and out of sleep while making sure you got the sleep you need. He held you close to him, rubbing your back as you let out lingering sobs throughout the night until you finally drifted into deep sleep.
He knows yesterday was a difficult, long day for you and your family, but it's important to him that you’re not forgotten about, so he carefully gets out of bed, not wanting you to wake up yet.
In the kitchen, he uncovers the small batch of cupcakes he made early yesterday. Removing one from the tin, he finds the frosting and decorates it, adding some sprinkles and a candle.
Quietly walking back to the bedroom, he sits on the edge of the bed next to you, and gently caresses your cheek and strokes your arm to wake you.
“Good morning,” he smiles, voice low and calming.
Blinking the sleep away, you furrow your brow seeing the cupcake in his hand. “What are you doing, babe?”
“Happy birthday,” he says, and you realize throughout all that's happened in the last 24 hours, you forgot what day it is.
Sitting up, your eyes instantly sting with fresh tears, and he sets the cupcake on the bedside table, swiftly putting his arms around you. “I hope this is okay, I just think she'd really want you to still have your special day.”
He feels you nod against his shoulder. “Of course this is okay, I just forgot.” Your voice cracks, and he hugs you tighter, slightly rocking you back and forth.
“We can do whatever you want today, if you don't want anything more than this cupcake, we won't do anything else, I just thought you deserved this.”
Your tears are wetting his shirt now, and you don't trust your voice to say anything, so you stay like that – him rubbing your back, pressing soft kisses to your hair – until you manage to whisper, “Thank you.”
No one knows why Eddie and Nancy call each other "my dear" and "honey" respectively. Not even Steve and Robin, who only give a brief pause (and sometimes a confused, "huh?") before going back to whatever nonsense. Even though it is absolutely, one hundred percent, their fault.
It’s all because Eddie and Nancy are dating two people permanently attached at the hip. "Platonic soulmates" they say, repeated ad nauseam. Two people who should be siblings. A pair of bickering sisters who are also sometimes gross brothers. A brother and sister duo so chaotic they give the Sinclairs a run for their money.
Platonic soulmates who act like two silly drunk girls when they are out at a bar. Two losers who cackle with laughter and sing along far too loudly to the radio on the way home.
A pair of idiots stumbling up the stairs in Steve’s house, gradually discarding jackets, bags and accessories.
Eddie is relatively sober, having played with the band and Nancy is tipsy, never one to entirely shake her sensible and put-together self. So Eddie follows behind, closing the front door, locking it and turning the lights off, while Nancy scurries along picking up the tossed attire.
"You're my best friend!" Robin shouts, squishing Steve's cheeks together as they hang off each other, wobbly at the top of the stairs.
"Love you, Robbie!" Steve says, voice cracking as he sniffles and kisses her on the cheek.
He takes her hand and they disappear up the hall.
By the time Eddie reaches Steve’s bedroom, Steve and Robin are passed out on that plaid bedspread, all curled up together like two creatures huddled together for warmth and companionship.
Nancy grumbles as she straightens up the shoes scattered at the foot of the bed.
"I swear they forget we exist sometimes," she says, huffing as she tugs off Robin’s left boot that she’d only managed to unzip.
"Oh absolutely," Eddie agrees.
He can’t help but walk over to Steve’s bedside and brush his fringe from his face. Steve produces a gross snorting nose at the movement, cuddling in closer to his best friend.
"Stop… snoring… di…" Robin mumbles, not getting out her favourite nickname before drifting back off to sleep.
Eddie steps back and folds his arms, resigning himself to spending his Sunday tolerating two hungover platonic soulmates in their worst and most annoying form.
Nancy rolls her eyes. "Get your bag and come into the spare room."
They make quick work of changing, Eddie in an oversized band tee and a pair of Steve’s checked pyjama pants he had taken ownership of. He looks in the mirror as he stands side-by-side Nancy in the upstairs bathroom, both brushing their teeth in silence. He looks over her pale pink nightdress, embellished with embroidered flowers and can’t help the huffed laugh that escapes him.
"What?" Nancy smiles and spits out her toothpaste in the sink.
"We look like an old married couple who have run out of things to talk about."
Nancy giggles, quickly moving to a washcloth to wipe her mouth before she bursts out laughing. She zips up her cosmetics bag and makes a sharp turn to face Eddie, her brow quirked.
"Honey, did you enjoy the soiree this evening?" she says in an uptight, snooty voice, cocking her chin and giving a sly smile.
"Splendid, my dear!" he replies, toothbrush dangling from his mouth as he bows with a flourish. "Although the band was an absolute bore."
"Don't say that!" Nancy chides, breaking character as she playfully slaps his shoulder.
He snorts a laugh as he finishes up and rinses his mouth out, dripping water everywhere.
"Wheeler, there were like seven people there, including you, Steve and Rob," he laughs, dropping the facade too.
"Shall we retire for the night?" she says, changing the subject and slipping back into character. She offers her hand.
"To the bedroom!" he declares, pointing to the door.
The spare bedroom is, unsurprisingly, similar to the rest of the house. Sparse and low-lit with heavy dark curtains that make Steve’s plaid drapes look light and airy in comparison.
"I hope you don’t snore as much as Steve, Nancy," Eddie warns without any heat behind his words as he punches his pillow into a shape that isn't flat and solid.
"He does snore, doesn’t he?" she wonders aloud as she slips under the covers, huffing a laugh. "Robin talks in her sleep. Nothing serious or anything. Total nonsense."
Eddie rolls his eyes. "Of course she does."
"Last week she woke me up," she starts as she pokes at his shoulder. "Tapping on my shoulder saying, ‘Nance, tell the fish it’s time to get ready for school’."
"Di-did you have… fish children?" he asks before doubling over, cackling.
"I think so," Nancy ponders, speaking slow before snorting a laugh.
"Goodnight, my dear."
"Night, honey."
At that, they turn away from each other, snuggling under the covers for a restful night’s sleep.
The following morning, Steve and Robin swap out his bed for cocooning themselves in blankets on the Harrington's gigantic couch as Eddie finishes up making their breakfast. They’d stirred fairly early in the morning, moving into the guest room and not-at-all subtly waking Eddie and Nancy to demand breakfast, all the while complaining about their whereabouts the night before.
Nancy enters the kitchen, freshly showered and laughs at the state of their counterparts. But they do not surface. If anything, Eddie swears Steve’s snoring is getting louder with every passing minute.
"Breakfast is all set, my dear," Eddie says, flinging a teatowel over his shoulder and offering her Steve's plate.
She hesitates but he gestures to the others on the couch. Robin is now babbling something incoherently as she taps Steve on the shoulder.
"Thank you, honey," Nancy giggles as she takes the food.
Wishing all fic writers a very Please Stop Using The Tiny Font I am Blind
part one | part two | part three | part four
summary you’re a single mom living three trailers down. eddie thinks you’re the prettiest girl he’s ever seen. queue the movies, nachos, cherry cough syrup, and a couple of moments of clarity. [10k]
warnings teen mom!reader, fem!reader, r is junie’s birth mother, fluff, hurt/comfort, eddie being a total girl dad (<3), mutual pining, yearning etc, tw for not having much money, general mom struggles :(, slowburn friends to lovers, idiots in love!!! tw sick fic
𓆩❤︎𓆪
Eddie has the most peculiar curl tucked up by his neck. Where most are frizzy and loose, this one falls in a perfect shiny ringlet below his ear. He shifts and it's out of view, a curtain of dark hair falling forward and hiding his face as he puts your car in park.
"Remind me why you had to drive?" you ask, ducking down to look at the glaring white lights of the movie theatre across the street.
"You were gonna fall asleep behind the wheel."
For once, Eddie might not be exaggerating. He grins at your lack of rebuttal and throws an arm behind your shoulders, twisting in the driver's seat to set his sights on Junie.
"Are you ready?" he asks her.
She wiggles. It's an ecstatic movement. Her clothes are prim and sweet if you do say so yourself, a long sleeved shirt under a pair of the world's cutest dungarees. They crinkle as she moves, pressed to perfection.
You and Eddie open opposite doors in tandem and step out into the brisk, early night. The sidewalk shines with rain, a black slickness stretching in every direction. You shiver and pull your thin jacket tighter to your torso as you turn back to the car, intending to retrieve Junie and rush into the theatre before you can freeze on the spot.
Eddie's already swung open the door and rescued your daughter from the confines of her car seat, neatening up the hem of one of her socks with her face pushed over his shoulder.
She giggles about something and Eddie says, "Sorry, June. 'M tickling you, am I?" so fondly you have to avert your eyes.
He locks the car and hands over your keys with a smile. You smile back, heart flipping like a spinning coin. Head over tails, over and over.
The big, ring-heavy hand he holds to Junie's back reaches for you suddenly enough that you flinch.
"I'm sorry," he apologises, suppressing a laugh, "your necklace is twisted."
He moves in a second time and you raise your chin, chest aflame as his fingers glance off of your bare skin. He slips the chain over his index and pulls, encouraging the links around until the clasp is hidden again.
"Thank you." You huff an awkward, sheepish laugh.
"You owe me," he says, mock-severe.
Your laugh is much more genuine as you follow him across the road.
You're squinting as you approach The Hawk movie theatre. The title cards are hard to look at, aggressively white with black capital letters that read, 'The Great Mouse Detective 7'.
There's a small line of families waiting by the front. You realise it like a shock, that the three of you must look like a family too.
Eddie carries Junie with the surety of a dad that's carried his child a hundred times before; he strokes the back of her head with the affection of one, soothing the mess of flyaways she'd acquired by squirming in her car seat. Junie responds with familiarity, hands tucked into his hair and tugging. She's trying to be nice but his hair won't allow it, all his long curls tangled at the ends from a day at work.
Still, he says, "Thanks, baby. Make sure you get the back, okay?"
"Okay," she echoes.
You look down at your wringing hands. There's ink smudged up the side of your writing hand. You scratch at it half-heartedly, blinking against your fatigue.
You're exhausted tonight and it's only Wednesday. You can't imagine how you'll fare tomorrow considering how little sleep you're expecting tonight — there are a thousand things to do when you get home. Laundry to wash and press, cleaning to do, dinner to make.
You'd been writing cheques for due bills when Eddie had come knocking, well-dressed, stupid-handsome, and announced that tonight you would be accompanying him to the movies. He'd actually said 'accompanying'.
Despite a full agenda, you'd said yes. You're not very good at saying no. At least, not to him.
It takes you a moment to realise you're at the front of the line. You pay for the tickets before Eddie can try it, and with his hands full he can't really stop you. He whines about it all the way to the concession stand.
"You can buy the snacks," you say. His face lights up, and you amend, "If you're reasonable."
"I'm always reasonable…ly over the top," he says, chided by your hard stare.
"Yes, you are."
He follows you down the two steps to the concession and cuts in front of you. "How did you do that? What face was that? I felt my soul leave my body."
"That's my disapproving mom look. I'm disapproving."
"Ah." He pats Junie's side sympathetically.
She pulls her head from over his shoulder and smiles at you. Her arms vy for your hold. You steal her from Eddie and kiss her all over her tiny face, uplifted by how much she loves you, how happy she is to be in your arms.
"What snacks do you want? Do you eat popcorn with butter? Without?" Eddie asks, his newly emptied arms already posed thoughtfully, a hand under his chin as he thinks over his options.
The theatre has a huge array of jellies, an even bigger array of candy bars. There are more brands of soda than there are glasses in your kitchen cabinet.
You're daunted.
"Whatever you want," you say.
Eddie groans and tips his head back. "Don't play with me like this. Butter or no butter? It's an easy question."
"I don't know. Without?"
"You are so weird," he says happily.
You pout and pull Junie closer.
Standing at the side while he gathers concessions, too many things, you watch in awe as Eddie stacks it all against his chest with the sure confidence of someone who's done it before.
He grins at you from between two huge cups. "Are we ready?"
If you could, you'd leave him here in the foyer with his jumbo deluxe popcorn. As it stands, you like him too much to leave him behind. You juggle Junie and your bag to push open the doors for him outside of screen two.
"Thanks, babe," he says outside of screen two. You bite your lip, surprised by his easy tone.
You climb up the stairs and into your seats. You're high enough for Junie to sit in her own chair between you and Eddie and see the screen comfortably but she adamantly refuses, stretching out in your lap like an alley cat hungry for affection.
Eddie moves into the ragtag velvet seat beside you, a million things in his lap and at your feet. He's pretty enough under the theatre lights to dull the panging ache at the back of your head. "If she won't sit here, I will. I got you a lemonade, is that cool?"
If it weren't you'd hardly tell him.
"She's being extremely well-behaved," Eddie notes, an inkling of pride in his tone.
You could sucker punch him. Why does he do this to you?
"I know," you say with a shy smile, "it's suspicious, isn't it?"
"I don't know. If I were in your lap I might be well-behaved too." He raises his eyebrows, an over-exaggerated show of flirtatiousness.
You reach over the arm to take a handful of popcorn. Eyes on Junie, you offer her your stolen goods and say, "I've got two thighs."
"Don't tempt me."
Junie all but snatches the popcorn and tilts her head back. A kernel falls from her hand and disappears between the seats. You make a mental note to pick it up afterward, ears full of her chomping.
You'd worried she might be a little loud for the movies but there's a bunch of kids and none seem keen on keeping quiet, a cacophony of childish complaints to hide your conversation.
"Are babies supposed to eat popcorn?"
You freeze up. "Oh- I don't know," you say, turning Junie toward you so you can watch her swallow.
"I thought I read that somewhere, but-"
"No, I think you're right. Um…" Junie looks at you with obvious confusion. "Was that yummy?" you ask. You hide your concern with a strained bubbly attentiveness.
"I guess she's old enough."
Eddie's being very casual – it is casual. He's just thinking out loud. You know he's not criticising you. He never has, though sometimes you think he should.
It must show on your face anyhow that you're having a 'I'm a bad mom' crisis. A mean stroke of insecurity.
"Sweetheart," Eddie says suddenly, brows pinched, "it's alright. It was just a thought. And she had no problem eating it, I'm sure she's gonna be aces. Better than aces."
Junie climbs out of your lap and into his. He sets the popcorn on the floor to take her, and when her hands reach for his drink he holds the straw to her mouth. All the while his eyes move between her and you.
"Okay," you say, because you're being silly.
Junie is fine. Eddie was only saying something that's very well true. Babies aren't supposed to have popcorn, but June's not a baby, really. She knows how to chew properly. It's unlikely she'll choke.
Eddie has to keep his focus on her to avoid getting soaked – she barely knows how to use a straw and keeps trying to turn the cup upside down.
"Not like that, trouble. Right way up. You got it."
You pick at the loose stitching at the end of your shirt and have to change the subject before the embarrassment of it all swallows you. Such a small thing.
"Can I try one of these?" you ask, grabbing the first bag of candy you can find. They're a bag of Super Sour Suckers.
He looks at you over Junie's head, startled and hiding it poorly. Then, a smile so bright it increases the embarrassment you're feeling tenfold.
"You have to! Robin said they're even worse than the normal ones, I don't wanna go through that alone," he says urgently.
Robin is one of his friends. You're not jealous that he has friends (though you are, because you want your own, but not jealous that he has friends that aren't you). He's mentioned her in passing before. When you'd asked as bravely as you dared if they were anything more than friends he'd laughed maniacally.
"We're definitely just friends," he'd said.
You fight to stay smiling and pull open the bag of candies. Ironically, the jellies inside are shaped like pacifiers. Covered in sugar packed densely and looking almost wet with what you suspect to be citric acid, you shake the packet wearily and search for a candy that won't ruin your tongue.
Eddie holds out his hand. You drop a green one into his palm. Your fingertips ride up the curve of his thumb.
He's unflinching as he eats it. After a few seconds his eyes screw up and he clutches June tight to his chest, raising an unhelpful hand to his jaw.
"Holy sugar," he says, wincing.
You bite into a pink pacifier unfortunately layered in sugar and wait nervously for the sourness to kick in. Sure enough, it comes quick and torturous. It's a knife cutting through fog.
It's hard to feel tired when there's something this sour in your mouth.
"You can't spit it out!" Eddie says.
You stop with your hand halfway to your mouth. "What?" you ask incredulously, trying not to dribble.
"You gotta eat it! Chew and swallow!"
You chew miserably. He laughs at your expression – a warm and hyper sound, practically giggling. Junie joins in as she always does. His joy can't be overstated.
The lights go down while you're still fighting for your life. Your eyes water and you have to smother the taste with a quick drink and a gasping breath.
"You're sick. I can't believe you let me eat that," you whisper.
"You saw me eat mine! You knew what you were getting into… Think June wants one?"
Your outrage has him laughing again. It's a magnetic sound. Every time he does it you want to touch him, his arm one pole and your hand another.
Junie gets comfortable on his right leg, head tipped expectantly against his chest and eyes drawn to the screen as the trailers begin. You don't bother with jealousy; in ten minutes she'll be climbing over the arm to sit with you again, or want to sit in her own seat. She may even try to walk around. Toddlers are indecisive and easily distracted.
Even if she weren't. Even if she sat there in his lap for the next hour and a half and didn't look your way, you're not sure you could harbour any envy against him. His hand spreads over the front of her torso with fingers splayed against her ribs, stroking thoughtlessly through the fabric of her thick clothes.
He tips his head toward your chair. "There's nachos."
"I saw."
"Wanna eat some before they get cold?"
"Subtle."
He snorts. "Yep. That's what they call me. Eddie Subtle Munson."
You reach over the dark floor for the tray of nachos and balance them carefully on the armrest between your two seats. Eddie digs in without fuss, you fret over which ones have jalapeños on them, and Junie gets mad that nobody's sharing with her. She puts her hands straight in a mound of orange cheese. Her face is a picture when she brings it to her mouth. She's discovered molten gold.
"Junie," Eddie says lightly, carding hair away from her ear so she can hear him properly. "Don't get cheese on your pretty clothes. It took your mom a week to get the rocky road out of your strawberry jammies, you know?"
He doesn't care that she's mauled the food. He's worried she might stain her dungarees. Your heart goes crazy, another sudden surge of clarity.
Junie climbs back into your own lap as the movie begins. You whisper to her about proper theatre etiquette in your mommy voice and she doesn't do too bad a job at listening. She finds the appearance of the Great Mouse Detective himself quite funny, and laughs at his grave features and expressions every now and then. It's a golden sound.
Try as you might, you can't keep your eyes open. Junie's having such a good time and Eddie whispers funny commentary beside you, but eventually your eyelids creep shut and Eddie squeezes your arm, skin braceleted by his thick, warm fingers.
-
"C'mere," Eddie prompts, hands vying for your daughter where she's perched in your lap.
"Why?" Junie asks.
He's surprised at her inquisition. "You don't want a hug?"
She nods voraciously. Eddie lifts her off of your lap before she can use you as a climbing frame and into his own.
"I think mommy's sleeping," he tells her.
Junie looks at you curiously. You've got a wet wipe in your limp hand, which he takes and discards, and your head's fallen to one side. You'll have an awesome crick in your neck when you wake up.
Junie gives him a hug. He loves her hugs. They're so small and sweet, she's genuinely an extremely loving little girl. Her smile when she hugs people is beautiful as yours is, though her affection is less hesitant.
Everything's going well until she catches a look at the huge, scary bad guy Professor Ratigan somewhere in the middle.
Eddie's crunching through a greedy mouthful of popcorn and almost chokes as she turns around and hides in his chest. He brings a hand up to her back protectively though he doesn't know what happened, eyes moving between her and the screen at lightning speed.
"Aw, June," he murmurs sympathetically. He really is a scary looking guy.
"Eddie," she says, dangerously close to tears.
"Sweetheart, it's okay! He's only on TV."
She says something that might be, "Don't want." It's not quite there but Eddie thinks she's doing a great job lately with her talking, patting her back in a silent well done as he attempts to reassure her. "Basil's gonna outsmart him, Junie. The Great Mouse Detective is gonna save the day, scout's honour."
"No," she whines softly.
He covers her unhappy face with his hand.
"It's okay," he murmurs, melted and bemused. "It's okay, junebug. I swear."
Despite his best efforts, she starts to cry. Eddie freezes up because she doesn't cry often, not with him. When she does you're always there to find a solution. He supposes the novelty of being a new person has long worn off, and that he's going to have to make more of an effort than just tickling her or petting her hair to make it better.
Her volume increases. He shushes her, clumsy and awkward but earnest, trying the best that he can to make it up. He offers candies and drinks, he rummages through your baby bag for Mr. Bear. She takes it all but none of it lasts.
Someone in the chair behind him coughs pointedly.
Eddie turns to wake you up. He gets one good look at your face and can't follow through.
You're sleeping deeply, at the movie theatre of all places. How tired are you, and why hadn't you said? He'd known to some extent — it's why he'd offered to drive — but with the movie blaring and all the kids and noise and now Junie's crying, he realises you must be exhausted to sleep through it. Why hadn't he noticed? He kicks himself.
He lifts her up with his head angled down, giving your shoulder a swift squeeze and then bumping down the steps with Junie until he's out into the lights of the hallway. The door swings closed.
It's oddly quiet and extremely bright. Junie stops crying to blink, and starts to cry again once she's adjusted.
Eddie does not know what to do. It's a kick to his ego that he quickly accepts, though he does murmur a rueful, "Babe, I thought you liked me."
Lost on deaf ears, his comment hangs in the air.
He pats her back some more, wracking his brain for how you take care of her when she gets like this. Mostly, you're patient. You hum and you wait. Eddie tries to emulate you and your kind heart, walking her up and down the hall as he taps the bottom of her spine.
"It's okay," he repeats. The more he says it the easier it feels. It is okay. He has to find a way to help June understand that, is all.
She grizzles. It's a long process. A couple of times he wonders if he's in over his head, if it's even his place, if he should wake you up and admit defeat.
But Eddie Munson is trying to prove something.
He works Mr. Bear out of Junie's iron grip and pinches his back taut so that his face and arms wiggle when he wants them to.
"Baby June," he begins, in as gruff a voice as he can manage. He tries to channel his uncle's sternness, and his fondness. "Won't you quit crying? You're getting tears on the neck of your t-shirt and all over your cheeks."
Junie quietens. She still cries, but the severity of the situation noticeably shifts.
Eddie keeps on. "I got just the thing," he says, pushing Mr. Bear forward and making smacking sounds as he kisses both of her cheeks. "Gotta kiss these tears right off a'you."
She laughs as Mr. Bear kisses her face dry and laughs some more when Eddie kisses the top of her head.
Eddie loves Junie.
He knows it for a fact.
She's very easy to love. She's beautiful as you are, she's loving, she's sweet. Her laugh is adorable and her smile is more. When she cries, Eddie finds he's never annoyed. Grated by the repetitive sound, maybe, but he can't find it in himself to be mad with her ever. He wants to help her work through it. To get you both through it. Eddie wants to be good at this.
He has Mr. Bear kiss Junie all over her face.
"See?" Mr. Bear asks. "Isn't that better? No more tears, little girl, or we'll never see the end of the movie!"
As Eddie says it, he wonders if taking her back into the theatre is a good idea.
"Hey, junebug?" he says, all drama set aside.
Junie lifts her flushed face.
He smiles gratefully. "Do you wanna go back inside? Go check on mommy?" Leaving you by yourself doesn't exactly sit right with him.
Ah, there's the face he was expecting. Puzzlement, surprise. Junie frowns at him and looks over his shoulder, her own, searching the empty hallway for you and finding only reflective floor lights and patterned carpet.
Eddie starts back into the screen room before she can cry over your being missing, chatting quietly but in a way that commands her attention. He's effective in the art of distraction if nothing else.
The mouse detective and his friends have defeated Professor Ratigan, though Eddie shields Junie's head from the screen in case he's thinking about making a comeback, finding his way back to you in the dark. He picks over other people's snacks and then the abundance of your own, finding you still sound asleep. The sight doesn't spell good tidings.
"Here she is," Eddie tells Junie, "here's mom. You wanna give her a kiss?"
He sits down in his seat and squishes a bag of gummy worms under his boot. Junie immediately bends over the armrest and grabs at your front. You'd worried to him once that she had separation anxiety, and Eddie didn't know anything about it to agree or not. This display makes him think she might. She's clinging to you, desperately wanting your attention.
Eddie winces as she grabs your face. She's obviously not trying to be cruel, hand stroking over your cheek as you'd stroke hers.
"Mom," she whispers, the action itself enough to get Eddie laughing. Her version of whispering is almost like a character in a pantomime.
He doesn't laugh for very long. You're not easy to wake up. Junie squishes your cheek and tries again. "Mommy," she says.
You groan in your sleep and your eyes scrunch together. "What?" you murmur finally, voice scratchy.
"You're missing the movie," Eddie says, patting your thigh.
Your arms come to life before you do. You wrap them around Junie's short torso and encourage her up your chest until you can nose at the top of her head. You rub slow lines, a steady back and forth. Eddie would bet money you don't have a clue in the world where you are.
"S'loud," you complain. Your voice is weak with sleep.
Junie looks at Eddie weirdly. He suspects it's her way of asking him to help out without asking.
He tenses his hand where it rests at your thigh. "Do you wanna go home?"
You don't answer. You go limp under his touch and Junie's weight, nose and lips set in a frown but otherwise near languid.
Eddie's small (and alarmingly ever-present) worry for you multiplies by a hundred.
He grabs up a bag of chips and entices your daughter back onto his thigh. She digs through half the bag as the movie draws to a finish, distracted if not happy, her face and fingers swiftly flaked in corn dust. The lights are thrown up and the noise is immense, a hundred pairs of shoes over tipped popcorn, babies and young kids unsettled, their parents eager to head home and watch their own movies no doubt.
Eddie can't say he'd really watched the film besides precursory glances, his focus on you and your fidgety offspring. He'd been excited to tell you about his Junie success, but now he just wants to get you home.
He says your name as clearly as he can, his hand finding its way to your thigh for the third time. He rubs down toward your knee and gives your leg a shake.
Junie climbs off of his own. Now the lights are on she can see the grand assortment of snacks laid out before her, and she seems eager to try them all.
You eventually, thankfully rouse, you drag a palm over your eyes and cross your legs, squishing his hand in the process. He steals it back.
"Babe, you gotta get up. The attendants are looking at us funny. I think they think I've run you ragged, and while the dad tag doesn't bother me, 'cruel husband' doesn't suit me."
"What?" you ask.
He shrugs. "Junie pissed her pants."
Your eyes open, lashes parting clumsily. You move like the air around you has turned to glue and moan in a quiet display of agony as your neck clicks. "She leaked through?"
"Nah, I'm messing with you. Movie's done. Getting some weird stares."
You're quiet, but you shrug on your jacket and Eddie packs what he can of the leftover candy into your bag. He swings it over his shoulder.
"You wanna come up?" he asks Junie.
She raises both arms.
You stand on shaky legs. Eddie stations Junie on one hip with one arm wrapped around her and holds out the other. You let him fold you up into his side.
"You okay?" he asks.
Your face drops into his shoulder. "I'm so tired."
"You're alright to walk out to the car?"
His worry is like a rubber band. You snap to attention, disengage from his hold. It's a foreign and really uncomfortable feeling to see you out of sorts.
Eddie walks behind you with a hand nearly but not touching your back. If you topple, he's not sure how he's gonna save you. Determined anyways, he guards you down the hollow stairs and through the hallway, one step behind you.
It's a cool, crisp night outside.
The smell of rain sticks around. You lift your chin. It's much colder now that night's fallen. The breeze kisses your damp skin. When did you start sweating?
He presses his hand to your shoulders and guides you across the road.
Junie starts her lovely babbling in his ear. "Mouse 'tective," she says at one point. You don't react, affirming his theory: you're more than tired. You're sick.
"Mouse detective," he agrees, arm around your shoulder to assuage his own worries as he gives Junie the best of his attention. "You liked that one, huh?" Besides the evil Professor. "Better than the Muppets in New York? Junebug, you little traitor. How easily your favour changes."
"Are you surprised? She took to you like," — you yawn wide enough that Eddie feels it under his arm, a full body thing — "a duck to water."
He beams, relieved to hear your voice. "Yeah, well, I'm special."
"That's true."
Eddie walks you around to the passenger side and opens your door.
"Flirting! Awesome. You're not too sick to forget how much of a catch I am. Watch your head."
"I gotta do Junie's straps," you say.
"I think I can do it by now."
He's only sort of bluffing. It takes him much longer than it would've taken you. He celebrates his win by pinching her cheek lightly and then whacking his head hard on the roof of your car.
"Fuck," he mutters as he jogs around the hood, scrubbing at the back of his head.
You're staring at him as he opens the door.
He puts the baby bag in your lap and shoves the key in the ignition, trying not to buckle under the weight of your gaze. He cracks quicker than he should, hand paused in its action.
"What?"
"You tryna give yourself a concussion?"
"Kiss it better?"
You kiss the tip of your finger and touch it to his head. It's an instant healing potion.
Getting you both home is easy enough, it's the trying to leave that's hard. You collapse heavily into the couch, Junie drapes herself over your lap and begs for her clothes to be taken off. Your second wind has worn away to nothing, leaving you plainly exhausted.
Eddie can't go home, not until he knows you're alright.
He slinks into your bedroom and tries not to look around too much. It feels like an invasion of privacy despite having made it in here a couple of times, always with his hip to the door as you search for something. He fails spectacularly and straight away, always hungry to know more about you. These days especially.
Your bed looks like you shook out the duvet but never tucked the corners. Your pillow's on the floor, your thin throw blanket is screwed up in a ball. There's a bunch of Junie's stuffies against the headboard. He grins at their straight backs.
He makes for your wardrobe, a cheap bit of cherry wood with one sagging door. As much as he wants to outfit Junie in her goodwill band t-shirt, he pulls a soft pair of cotton pyjamas out from a neatly folded stack, thumbing the blue fabric fondly. There's a noticeable disparity between her clothes and yours. One work skirt and one work shirt hang from two lonely hangers, accompanied only by your infamous 'best jeans'. He frowns at a small stain at the knee and scratches it fruitlessly. Not her best jeans, he thinks in horror, picturing your unhappy face. He can see it so clearly, the pinching of your brows.
Junie squeals happily from the living room. Eddie remembers himself and follows the sound, finding you both on the ground. You're kneeling, blowing raspberries into Junie's naked stomach where she lays on her changing mat, a discarded diaper and her dirty clothes to the side.
There's a big break between raspberries where your eyes drift shut sluggishly. Junie whines for another.
Eddie sits next to you. Stupidly close, his crossed leg kisses your thigh. He could wrap you up in a hug easily right here, and he wants to. Your tired face has his stomach aching with guilt.
"Sweetheart," he says to you firmly, "get back on the couch. You look like you're gonna fall asleep right here."
You don't argue, leaving Eddie the impossible duty of dressing your baby. Junie hates the shirt more than he can describe, loathes the fabric as it covers her face. He has to pick her up to get her into her pants, another fury. She forgives him easily once he's done, lingering by his side with Mr. Bear in hand. She pinches his back and imitates Eddie's low growl, laughing at herself as she does. She finds it very funny. Eddie can't help giggling with her.
"Eddie?" you ask.
He turns. You look miserable.
"What?" he asks softly, startled by your intense expression.
"Thank you."
"Oh, baby," he says, loud and brash as he twists where he is to grab both of your knees. He practically throws himself at you, at your feet, ducking his cheek to your leg. "You really are sick as a dog."
You look visibly embarrassed.
"Listen," he says, insistent, "If we start saying thank you to each other, we won't stop. We'll be a loop of thank yous."
"I think I have more to say than you do," you murmur.
He shakes his head, exasperated at your inability to see him for what he is even now. It's funny. Eddie thinks you've a better view of him than anybody else, that you see him more generously than anyone has ever seen him, and you still haven't noticed he's a boy in love.
You must feel his grin as he kisses your knee, his thumb stroking over the ridge of the cap.
"If I started to say thanks for all the things you've given me I wouldn't stop. I'd talk myself hoarse," Eddie argues.
You laugh at his dungeon master dramatics, but reaffirm, "I haven't given you anything."
"You don't know what you've given me," he says into your leg.
Eddie lifts his head, weary of his chin digging into your leg.
Now isn't the best time to declare devotion, or drop kisses into you when you can't offer any in return. Not that he's expecting you to. Not that he wouldn't receive them gratefully.
"I should go home."
You reach for him. Your hand moves slowly like you've a weight around your wrist, but your fingertips curve over his cheek; you move from the corner of his lip, under his eye, and then finish your circle at the skin beneath his ear.
"Can you hug me?" you ask.
"Yeah," Eddie says. He doesn't waste any time.
He gets up, slides a knee between your knees and rests his full weight on the couch between them as his arms curve around you and his hands feel for the dip of your lower back. He clutches without any hesitation.
"Can I? Did you mean it like that? My arms work fine."
You curl your arms around him and groan. "You're gonna crush me."
"Really?" He pulls you closer. "How 'bout now?"
"Ow," you whine.
He laughs and pushes his face toward your ear. "Liar," he whispers. "No way that hurts."
"Why's everybody always on top of me?"
"That's your issue?" He pulls back. "You want to sit in my lap?"
"No!"
"Aw, my poor girl. You totally wanna sit in my lap. Alright, get in it."
He sits down beside you and waits, one arm still behind your back. He gives you an encouraging tug.
"I'm not sitting in your lap."
"I didn't think you would, just- Just c'mere," he prompts, pulling your face into his chest.
Your arms slide around his waist. He can feel the scratchy skin on your left index finger, a scar of a recent kitchen accident, against his hip where his shirt has ridden.
"You're really handsy. Has anyone told you that before?" Eddie asks, trying to cover the entirety of your back with his arms alone.
You push your face as far as it'll go into his chest. Eddie keeps you there, and soon a little body has found its way onto the couch next to you both, demanding to be included. Eddie quickly drags her in.
Long minutes of quiet hugs.
"Wish we could stay like this forever," you murmur.
"Well, I'm not going anywhere. If you were worried."
He massages over the slope of your shoulder, a tight looking muscle. You sigh inaudibly, a hot patch over his heart.
"I wasn't," you say.
Eddie thinks you might finally be on the same page.
-
You get really, really sick.
"On my days off!" you croak, the injustice too much to handle.
Eddie laughs from the end of your bed, a bandana tied around his face like a doctor from one of his awful horror movies, though the bandana is far from a clinical white. "That's exactly why you're still sick. Your body sensed the weekend."
Hadn't it? You'd been achy and awful on Friday and Benny had sent you home at lunch, citing a need to keep his patrons from infection. Which sucked, because you'd really wanted to stick around for the very beginning of the Friday night rush and get some payday tips. People are generous when they're high on the buzz of a forthcoming weekend, especially to over obsequious waitresses.
It had sucked worse when Junie came out of daycare in the best mood ever and demanded kisses. You'd had a headache the size of a tennis ball behind your eyes and didn't want to pass anything over, and the crushed look on her face had made you cry in the car on the way home.
Eddie dropped in particularly early that night with soup. "I had a feeling," he'd said.
And now here he is again the day after.
"At least one of us is enjoying this," you say.
"You think I'm enjoying this?" Eddie asks.
You give his precautionary outfit a once over. "Yes."
"This is just something I had lying around."
"Shut up! Shut up, no it wasn't!" You're voice cracks, giggly and giddy even with the spikes of pain to your tender head.
"It was. We did a campaign, I was a plague doctor-"
"That is in terrible taste."
"It was perfectly appropriate, thank you very much. You're determined to vilify me. Need to slow down with the cold medicine, I think."
You shriek as he tries to take the bottle. "No! No, please, my throat hurts."
He takes the bottle. It is a hurtful defeat. You curl your fingers around nothing and sulk, slouching down into a sanctuary of pillows and blankets to hide from him. Extra pillows provided by Eddie. With fresh covers, duh. They smell like him anyway. You turn your nose into it indulgently.
"You've had too much to safely be responsible for any further consumption."
"Further consumption," you echo, eyes closing in defeat as he leaves.
"You okay, June?" you hear him ask, voice occluded partially by the sound of the TV.
"Okay, Eddie?" she asks.
You grin to yourself.
"I'm great. This looks very fun. I'm gonna make mom a cold pack for her head and then you can help me make dinner, okay? Does that sound fun? Tell me, June."
The 'Tell me, June,' isn't a command so much as a gentle reminder that she can answer the question if she wants to.
"Fun," she says.
"Hey, great. Oh, thank you. Thank you."
They better not be cuddling without me, you think bitterly, grin swiftly replaced by a self-pitying frown.
You cough into your hand, roil in your own misery for a second and then grab the big glass of water Eddie had insisted on from the night stand. You tip it down yourself in your hurry.
"Missed your mouth," Eddie says, appearing at exactly the wrong moment.
"Don't baby me."
He pads into the room with a cold pack wrapped in a hand towel. "For your head."
"This is silly. I don't need to be in bed."
"Obviously you do. You're sick, did you notice? Stupid question," he adds regretfully, gesturing for you to lie back. He sets the pack to your forehead. "You wouldn't notice a hole in your stomach. You'd be dripping entrails in the freezer aisle wondering if Junie wants corn on the cob or mashed potato with dinner tonight."
"What does she want for dinner tonight?"
"Boo! Exactly my point."
"I'm gonna go ask her-"
Eddie puts an unapologetic hand in the middle of your chest and pushes down. "You will do no such thing." He lowers his face to yours. "I'm willing to get physical. So behave."
You flush with heat because you're sick and not because he says it a certain way, dropping back down into your fluffed pillows without another word.
Eddie's hand climbs up to your collar, your neck. His fingers slide one after another behind it. It's a blessed cold. You can't find a comfortable temperature today, moving between chills and hot flashes at the drop of a hat.
Or a bandana. Eddie unties the dark fabric from his neck and leaves it where it lands, staring at you without saying anything.
His thumb presses into your sore throat carefully, the barest hint of pressure, and his lips part. He doesn't say anything for a while. It looks like he wants to.
"Do me a favour?" he asks finally.
"Of course." Anything to feel useful right now.
"Take it easy." He again lowers his head, talking to you with a private smile. "The sooner you chill out, the sooner you'll beat this thing."
"Don't say that. Like I have something serious."
"The sooner you'll beat this moderate-"
"Mild-"
"-affliction." He strokes quarter-circles into your neck.
"I don't need to lie down. There's things I have to do."
"On a Saturday?"
"Yes. There's things I need to do everyday." You clear your throat. It's useless, the lump remains and your voice stays scratchy. "I have- I always have laundry. So that first. Gotta wash it and put it out and bring it in and press it. I gotta make sure Junie has lunch for daycare this week 'n if she doesn't I have to go get it, I gotta," — you cover his hand with your own thoughtlessly — "make sure her rash is getting better. And I promised we'd do a tea party tomorrow, I have to make sandwiches!"
"We both know she doesn't remember the tea party."
"I promised."
"And if I… If I tried to get all those things done, would you stay in bed?"
"You can't."
"But if I tried it? I can do laundry. I'm good at it. Get oil stains out of Wayne's coveralls every Sunday."
You slump into a lump of sadness and achy arms. "Don't do my laundry. Don't do any of that stuff. I'll punch you if you do."
Eddie bursts into laughter. "You'll punch me? You horrible woman."
"I will," you promise, fingers curling around his arm to hold him in place.
"Why don't I believe you?"
"I don't know. 'Cos you're a know-it-all who dislikes me."
"I far from dislike you." He grins at you, all dimpled and pretty. "I don't believe you'd hit me because I know you, idiot."
"Name-calling."
"Uh-huh. Are you sleeping or am I helping you out onto the couch?"
While you're happy for the compromise, you have one problem. "I don't think I can move."
Eddie lets his face fall amicably to your collar. "No, I bet you can't. More reason for me to get you on the couch. I think you've genuinely had too much cough syrup," he worries, warm breath fanning over your skin.
You bring your spare hand to his head. He has so many curls.
He lifts his head and you're close enough to kiss. There's no other reason anyone has ever been this close.
"I can see your beauty mark," you say, hushed. You don't wanna breathe on him too much.
"Freckle."
"Your freckle." You lift and drop his curls, fingers toying through the softness towards his roots, the frizz at the ends.
"You- You smell like fucking cherry syrup."
You abandon his hair to clap a hand over your mouth. "I'm sorry."
He covers his own mouth. "It's okay," he says, similarly muffled. "I like the sweet stuff."
What the fuck does that mean? Your stomach doesn't flip — it leaps right up into your throat. "You're an idiot," you breathe, caught off guard.
"What was that?" he asks, taking away his hand. "Didn't catch it."
"I said, 'You're an-"
"Amazing friend and confidante?"
You try to talk and he says, "A real stand-up guy?"
You try again and he says, "A total rockstar? Baby, if you really think all this you should've said."
You flop completely onto your back, away from his hands, his jokes and his lovely brown eyes where they bore into your own. Eddie hums and rubs brashly over the top of your arm until the skin glows with heat.
"Please stay in bed," Eddie says as he stands.
Medicine or his touch, you're feeling pretty tired. You pull up your blankets and sink like a stone, head disappearing into a mess of pillows and throws.
-
It's much later when you wake. You move into the land of the living abrupt as whiplash.
Eddie seems very sorry. "Sweetheart, June's past due for a new diaper, and I-"
"Oh, right," you say, sounding much more alert than you feel. You're a girl made of sandpaper.
"I would've, I mean. If it wouldn't make you uncomfortable, I would've tried. But I've never changed a diaper in my life."
You scratch your flaky eyes, disorientated and head like a boiling saucepan with the lid glued on.
"That's okay," you say. Your voice refuses to cooperate with you, gruff and too quiet. "It wouldn't bother me, but it's also not your job, so… Um." You yawn wide and cover your entire face.
You spend a minute rubbing your eyes.
"Fuck, what time's it?" you ask, squinting at him and bringing your hands to either side of your face.
"Like, seven. Ish."
"Eddie…"
"I know. I thought you could use the rest. I knew you could. And it's not urgent, you know? Come around, first. Everything's stellar."
You peel back the sheets. You're a clammy, too-hot mess with weak legs.
Eddie sees you wobble and rushes to wrap an arm around your waist. Completely unnecessarily, heart-achingly kind. You wince at the dampness of your shirt under his touch.
Junie sits on the couch in her jammies with a yellow-green soup stain down the front. She's propped up like a princess, a pillow behind her head between the armrest and her blanket covering her legs, cheek pressed to the cushions. Eyes trained on the TV and her bottle propped in a slackening grip, your baby is peaceful, near luxurious.
Only a little wiggle might suggest she's uncomfortable.
You part from Eddie's side and sit down beside her, the seat warm. She doesn't even look up.
"What, no hi for mom?" you ask tenderly, hand falling to the top of her head. She's lovely.
She gasps, little lungs fit to burst. It's pure excitement, her bottle dislodged and the blanket pushed away immediately. She doesn't bother getting to her feet, throwing herself into your lap and assuming you'll do the rest. Of course you will. You pull her up and kiss the top of her head, though you quickly hold her at arm's length.
"Sorry, mommy's still sick," you tell her, sympathetic at her crushed expression.
"Mis'd," she says.
"Yeah? You missed me?" you ask hopefully.
Her lips part in comprehension. "Missed you," she confirms.
You throw your gaze over your shoulder to Eddie. He stands by Junie's changing station with a smug smile. "What?"
"You're not very convincing."
"I'm not trying to convince you, thanks," he says, holding up two hands in surrender.
"She didn't learn that herself," you argue.
"She might've. You tell her enough."
You go back to your girl, pleased at her own smug smile. "I missed you, too, I missed you so much. Missed you millions. Sorry I've been sleeping all day, you've been such a good girl. She has, hasn't she?"
Eddie sorts through a nearly empty bag of diapers and brandishes one with fish printed on the back. "Oh, yeah. Junebug's been amazing. She came in with me to see you earlier, took your temperature." You frown. "From a distance. Kind of. I held her above you. It was… acrobatic."
You close your eyes at his absurdity, your laugh prompting another spike of pain.
Junie forces herself closer and gets both arms around your neck.
You sag into the contact, defeated. "Aw, June," you mumble ruefully. "M'trying to make sure you don't get sick too. Wasting my time."
"Mommy," she says into your neck.
"That's me."
You know she has something she wants to say. You can't wait for the days where she can. Exciting, to think that one day she'll be able to share all of her thoughts.
Right now, she's probably thinking, Woah, mom, you smell weird. And you look weirder.
You feel her back with your hand and cringe. Definitely time to get her changed.
Afterward, you sit with your back to the open front door on one of the porch steps. Physical exertion of any kind seems to be inadvisable; you're sweating up a storm. Junie sits beside you at her own insistence, her hand clasped in your hand and her head on your arm. You look down at her thighs next to your own and marvel at their small size. The evening breeze is a blessing.
Eddie stands in front of you with his backpack slung over his shoulder and a checklist.
"Tea party sandwiches are badly made and saran wrapped in the fridge. Junie doesn't have lunch for Monday but I can go tomorrow if you want me to. Her clothes are folded in the hamper. Uh, some stuff got left out, you might need to press them. Not tonight though, please."
"Thank you."
He talks around a smile. "Soup's on the stove. I'll come back later, if-"
"You don't have to."
"I want to. I wouldn't actually leave, but-"
"Eddie-" You cough into your shoulder. He waits for you to finish. "You- You didn't have to take care of me."
"What does that mean? Of course I did."
He hikes his backpack higher up his shoulder and pads back up the steps, not all of them but enough for him to lean down and stare at Junie.
"Thanks for the best day ever," he says seriously, looking out of the corner of his eye at you. "Almost. See you later?"
Junie nods voraciously and reaches up with her empty hand. Eddie takes it and kisses her temple. He does the same to you, lips brushing soft as downy-feather over your skin.
"I'll come back around ten? Is that cool?"
"Don't knock too loudly," you mumble, very aware of his proximity.
He backs up and bows like an idiot, hand moving in circles.
You and Junie wave him off.
"To work?" Junie asks.
Your eyebrows jump as you pull your gaze from his retreating figure. "Huh?"
"To work?"
You play with her fingers. "No, he's not going to work. He's going to take care of someone else, now."
Wayne, Eddie said, in a fondly exasperated tone that explained everything you needed to know. His uncle's self-preservation must come in similar disinterest to himself as yours does to you.
"We'll see him tomorrow," you say. It's not even a lie, you will both see him tomorrow.
But apparently he's coming back tonight.
-
True to his word, Eddie Munson knocks your door carefully at nearing ten o'clock.
Wayne's dismissal chases his heels. He'd spent an hour worrying about you at the dinner table with his uncle, fingers curling anxiously in his hair.
Wayne had been talking about some gab the boys in the shop had heard about killer mice or killer lice or something when he'd suddenly cleared his throat and snapped Eddie to attention.
"You're a good kid. Notice how I said good, and not smart," Wayne had said.
"Gee, thanks. You always did know how to make a guy feel loved, Wayne."
"You don't wanna be here."
Eddie had frowned. "Obviously I do."
"Kid, what I mean is, you gotta," — he'd nodded his head hard to one side and raised his eyebrows — "you know."
"Haven't brushed up on my mysterious gestures lately. Translate that one for me?"
Wayne had flicked up his newspaper and sighed. "Don't be dumb."
"You keep saying that."
"You keep being dumb, boy."
"I don't know what you want me to do."
"Think you better go look after your girl, don't you?" Wayne had asked finally, clearing his throat.
So here he is to look after you. A tad early, worried you'll be sleeping on the couch with a misbehaving baby in your lap or passed out in the bathroom after an impromptu cleaning.
Thankfully, you open the door in different clothes than he'd left you in, the neckline dark with run-off and face damp under your eyes and by your ears. You dab at your tacky skin with your index knuckle.
"You look better," he says. He wishes he could take it back instantly, though you don't take any offence.
"Hot shower," you explain.
You step back to let him in. Eddie closes the door behind him without turning, eyes glued to your fresh face. He's depressed by the lingering fatigue he finds lining your darling features.
"You okay?" you ask him, perturbed by his silence.
Eddie's better than okay.
He steps close. You look like you might step back, make room for him he doesn't want, so he reaches out for your face and holds it in one hand, the other landing in tandem on your arm.
Your cheek lists into his hand as he wipes away what's left of the dampness on your face. He's not sure you know you're doing it.
"Did you take any more medicine?" he asks quietly, rubbing under your eye carefully with the tip of his thumb.
"No, I- I think you fixed me, Munson. Me and Junie had your soup, and after a shower I felt way better. It was really nice. She slept easy."
He presses the back of his hand to your forehead. "You don't feel too hot."
"Like I said. Fixed me. My hero."
He looks over your shoulder at your life — at his life, or at least where a majority of it seems to take place. All his favourite parts these days happen right there on your couch, or at that table, or knee to knee with a baby that isn't his but- but-
"You said that to me the first time we met," Eddie recalls, shaking his head. It's like there's water in his ears. A few strands of hair drift into his eyes.
You catch his elbows in both hands. "It feels like a really long time ago now."
Months. Only months. "I feel like I've known you for years."
He strokes over your face, chin to cheek, the tip of his thumb pressed to the corner of your mouth.
"That's how I feel, too," you whisper. Utter. Hushed, your words ring loud anyway. "You're my best friend."
Eddie doesn't take it for a door closing because it isn't. It's a door kicked wide open. Split on its hinges. You and Eddie stand on equal ground, and, for once, the same page.
"You know I don't mind taking care of you?" he asks, hand passing over your ear to hide behind it. He wants to see all of your face.
Predictably, you drop your eyes to his neck, pupils wobbling as you search for somewhere to plant yourself. "I know. I'm not sure I deserve it."
"Why wouldn't you deserve it? Everyone deserves taking care of."
"Even murderers?"
"Maybe not murderers-"
"The evil guys from your game? Necromancers?"
"They're not all evil." His left palm skirts up the curve of your neck, encouraging your face back to his. "Don't change the subject."
You press your lips together, caught.
"I actually…" — he gathers as much bravery as he has — "want to take care of you."
"You do."
He holds your face in both hands. "You know you- You know you started it, right? You know it's- that without your-" He cringes internally at his stammering, but he has to get this part right. "You have gold where your heart should be."
"Y/N The Golden Hearted. Doesn't have the best ring to it," you muse, hands clinging to the crooks of his elbows like twin pooled teardrops waiting to fall.
Eddie stares at you, floored.
"What about you?"
"What about me?" he asks.
"What's your name?" you demand, grinning.
"Eddie the Subtle. Munson the Mad."
You huff a laugh. "That's a cop-out."
"Maybe."
"How about…" The air feels thick as jelly. Light from under the bedroom door stops short of your legs, your toes almost touching. His rubber soles, your socks. "Eddie the Indomitable?"
He crinkles his nose. "I'd almost think you were trying to flirt with me, that's how bad that is."
Your blinks are slow. Your eyes soften.
"What if I was?" you ask.
A stock-still silence pervades, filled only by the hum of the refrigerator and the droning of the bathroom light, left on. He could tell you the contents of this room by its sounds alone.
His hand moves of its own accord, up and down the slope of your neck. "I'd say you needed a better pick up line."
"Like what?" you ask, chest rising too fast.
Eddie takes a step and feels his jacket zipper cut into the cotton of your shirt. It's your matching band t-shirt.
Eddie drags his gaze slowly to your widened eyes, your lashes as they move almost imperceptibly upward. Taking him in as he inches closer.
"You're so fucking pretty," he says.
He leans in. He closes the gap. Eddie Munson takes the leap.
Your hand comes quickly to his upper arm and you turn your face just enough to force his lips, his kiss landing a centimetre shy of your nose.
He struggles to keep his eyes closed. His heart thrums like a blown amp.
"You can't kiss me," you say. Eddie struggles to discern your tone.
His nose presses to yours. Not desperately, but almost. "I can't?" he asks, throat thick with emotion, a stickying, cloying taffy.
"I'll make you sick."
He turns your face with his palm, lips hovering above yours, a hair's width. Close enough to feel their heat.
"Can I trust you'll nurse me back to health, in the event that that happens?" Would you take care of me? His hands tremble where they're touching you. He's too scared to open his eyes.
You don't answer.
You cover his hands and the seconds stretch endlessly, a thousand moments of terror and pining and want suddenly flattened into one as you kiss him.
He exhales against you. His relief is a palpable, viscous thing as he pulls you in and his nose digs into yours. Lips soft as he'd imagined, as he'd known they'd be, you kiss back tentatively. Sweetly.
You're kissing him like he's something that needs a careful touch.
Eddie screws his eyes shut tight enough to see stars, firecrackers, a shattering bouquet of colours as you move beneath him. He can't believe he's kissing you. He can't believe there was a time where he wasn't.
He yields, leaning back just enough to see your face. You keep your eyes shut, your eyelashes kissing the delicate skin beneath. They move like blades of grass in the breeze as Eddie tries to catch his breath, regaining some of his composure. It's hard while he's here, this close.
You make a small sound, a breath like a barb. The shaky demarcation of tears.
"Okay?" he asks, more movement than sound. His lips skip over your own.
You have to feel it.
A laugh bubbles up through your parted lips like a hiccup. "I'm definitely gonna make you sick," you mumble regretfully.
"Make me sick, sweetheart," he says, begs. Whatever.
Whatever word you want to use. He doesn't care if he pays for it afterwards, he wants to be close to you now, unapologetically close. And kissing you — kissing you like this, your reciprocation, it's everything because it means you feel the same as he does.
Or a fraction the same. He's reassured either way. If you felt a fraction of what he felt, that's enough.
It's a lot. To be touching you, finally. He grabs at the nape of your neck and kisses, kisses, kisses. He goes slowly, not quite sweetly. He's never been as sweet as you have, never as soft or patient.
It doesn't feel like it matters.
You pull his hands from your face, press his and your own, all four hands to the collar of your shirt.
"It wasn't just a, uh, pick up line, was it?" you ask breathlessly.
"Wh- No." Eddie massages the back of your hands. "No, you're the fucking prettiest girl ever. I think you're aces. Killer. Everything."
"Everything," you say, an almost indecipherable glassiness to your eyes.
"Everything," he says. He spreads his hand over your heart.
You don't throw yourself at him, but you move alarmingly quickly. Arms over his shoulders, hands crossed and buried in his hair. Your laugh is magic, a bright and exuberant sound loud in his ear and then the skin underneath. He's barely got an arm around the small of your back when you start to kiss him, repetitive, chaste pecks over his pulse. It capers under your lips.
"I don't know what kind of girl you think I am-" He begins deadpan and breaks abruptly, your second wave of laughter impossible to ignore.
Your arms tighten at his laughing, palm cupping the back of his head.
"You're my best friend, too," he says. "But you knew that."
"Maybe," you murmur, your smile wide against his skin. You're uncharacteristically mischievous.
He lets his back bend under your weight until your heels lift and you're scrabbling to stay on your own two feet and is rewarded by your shrieking laughter.
Oh, god, he thinks, ecstatic.
"Wait," you say, bargaining for freedom as he squeezes you hard enough to make you laugh again, and again, "wait, wait! Wait, let go. I have something to tell you."
Eddie sets you down. He's reluctant to let you go, almost desperate to hug you now that he knows he can, but his curiosity gets the better of him. What could you have to tell him now that isn't confessional? It's like being promised something good.
You stand sure and sweet in front of him.
"It's…" You look shyly at his lips.
"What?"
"I…"
He shakes his head gently from side to side. "What? Tell me."
"Nothing," you say, beaming. Act dropped, you take his face into both hands and kiss him soundly.
Eddie's barely got his hands on you before you're pulling back.
"Just wanted to do that," you say.
𓆩❤︎𓆪
thank you for reading! | my masterlist | this fic is multi-chapter
if you enjoyed (i I really hope you did), please reblog! i promise it makes a difference ♡
How about Derek Hale seeing his gf wearing his shirt for the first time?
"So you're the clothes stealer hm?" Derek smiled against your shoulder as he pulled you into his lap. He was still in bed when he noticed his shirt missing, granted it was hard to locate any clothes in the mess his room was because of last nights activities but his nose didn't lie.
"Guilty." You cupped his cheeks as you took your seat on his lap, your bare thighs pressing against his. He was still naked. Oh. "You didn't get dressed at all?"
Derek smirked and pulled the shirt down, his mouth hot against the skin of your shoulder, "I would, but someone stole my favorite shirt. You have your own."
"Oh now you want me in my clothes?" You teased as you pointed out the scratch marks on your legs that the shirt barely covered, "I need to cover these up Derek. I'm not going out in shorts."
"But you were happy to ask for them. And you seem happy to let people know we're together. Everyone saw that kiss yesterday, and they're sure as hell gonna smell me on you even if you don't walk out wearing my shirt." Part of him wanted to see you wearing his clothes, "How about you wear it only for me?" But the other possessive wolf part of him wanted you for himself.
Gucci babe