Odysseus Was The Original Short King

(Athena, disguised as a man, to Telemachus)

“Tell me now— are you Odysseus’ son? You are so tall!”

✋it’s the way she never misses the opportunity to point out that Odysseus is short

For those of you saddened by the not yet reconciled relationship between Odysseus and Athena in Epic the Musical’s timeline, I’d like to give you some information that could help your heart.

In the Odyssey, Athena holds back the dawn until Odysseus and Penelope are fully satiated with their reunion— since this happens after the timeline of Epic, I personally head cannon her doing this for Odysseus and him afterwards immediately being like ‘yk nvm ur so right Athena this life IS amazing when you greet it with open arms’

And then ghost polities sneezes in the underworld, and he knows all is ok

(Telemachus crashing out in Book 2 of the odyssey)

“‘… you make me so unhappy! This is pointless!’

He stopped, frustrated, flung the scepter down,

And burst out crying.”

btw the scepter was previously referred to as a “talking stick”, he’s crying in front of ALL the suitors & Greek men he called to council, and he brought up two dogs with him while talking for reasons unspecified.

They were emotional support animals because I said so. Argos was not among them.

Fairies when they say they know a place:

Abandoned factory

Odysseus cried all day, everyday for SEVEN YEARS on calypsos island and people still have the AUDACITY to claim what calypso did wasn’t rape.

And don’t give me any bullshit about gender roles in Ancient Greece, I LITERALLY STUDIED WOMENS GENDER ROLES IN ANCIENT GREECE AND ROME IN UNIVERSITY!! Guess what? ITS STILL CONSIDERED RAPE!

At this point in the discussion, if you’re still defending calypsos actions, you simply do not care about victims of SA when it’s a man.

“He had no choice. He spent his nights with her

inside her hollow cave, not wanting her though

she still wanted him. By day he sat out on the

rocky beach, in

tears and grief, staring in heartbreak at the

fruitless sea”

^ how much clearer can Homer get?? Gtfo

You are responsible for how your body decays

RIP Telemachus you would’ve loved Taylor Swift’s Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me

RIP Odysseus you would’ve loved Betty by Taylor Swift