They Are Brothers

You know how kids will just walk up to you then say random shit or observations about you that they’ve made and walk away?

Captain Marvel does that to JL members.

But it’s laced with the wisdom of Solomon so while sometimes it’s normal, childlike observations or facts. Other times it’s shit no living human should or could ever know & before Billy reveals his identity, it actually works in his favor as JL members just chalk it up to the fact that the champion of magic is thought to be thousands of years old and not, like, 8.

But it’s stuff that ranges from childlike (these are real quotes):

- “Oh, I never noticed the color of your eyes, they’re pretty.” (Fairly normal)

- “You have weird bones, have you thought about getting them fixed?” (Slightly more worrying. cracked my back and the kid was very concerned.)

- “Don’t shoot the messenger tomorrow, it’ll shoot you back” (much more alarming. this was said to me with no context at all & the kid just walked away to go back and play with her friends. I don’t know if it’s a quote from a show or smth but that was the entire interaction she wanted to have)

Then there’s the random comments out loud laced with the wisdom of Solomon:

- “I miss the call of the Corythosaurus. It echoed through the mountains beautifully and will never be heard again” “Corythosaurus. Captain, isn’t that a dinosaur? Wait a moment how fucking old are you???”

- “Watch out for the earth trying to swallow you whole. make sure to tread lightly” (there’s gopher holes everywhere outside the zeta tube entrance but wisdom of Solomon won’t let Billy word it out as anything but as unhelpful as it can)

this is *sniff* truly beautiful

hit the tumblr image limit but you can find the full presentation here 

enjoy!!

listen to this while you read it for the full experience

"Bruce adopts Billy" this and "Clark adopts Billy" that, but let me tell you as someone who was an independently feral ten year old, Billy Batson would fucking bite them

" You...Adopted...6 siblings?"

Diana nods, sunstream smile bright and golden on her lips. She proudly shows off pictures, too.

Three boys playing video games, one of them using his crutches to push the others away. " Freddy and Eugene love bothering Billy."

Another is Diana helping an adorable little cherub of a girl with outfits for her doll's world domination meeting. " Darla has such a rich imagination!"

Then there's her, helping a teenager with what looks to be her book report, as another boy serves them snacks. " Mary is a dedicated leader for her projects. Pedro enjoys cooking!"

" But...6?"

" I wasn't going to split them up! Families are strongest together! Billy wouldn't have accepted otherwise. He's a loyal, exceptional big brother. I couldn't ask for a better son."

Shazam blushes, to their confusion.

" And do they know about... You know. Mega hot Goddess guarding Earth thing, or are you just a regular milf?"

" Hal!"

" You all know what I'm about!"

" Not yet! I figure It'll come out at some point. But I enjoy being a parent. They've been a delight to have around. Parenthood is not the beast I expected."

Bruce laughs. Batman laughs. It's like watching something eerie and unnatural. Barry squints. " Am I...High? Did someone buy that brew that makes me spinny again?"

" You, - you think. This will be EASY."

Diana frowns, tilts her head like a confused puppy. " Well, yes. They've been very pleasant thus far. We haven't even argued, and they follow rules well, - "

Batman full on cackles now. Holding onto Superman's cape for support.

" I think they're very special! I'm sure they'll stay like this for longer than we all expect. They're very mature!"

They have to carry Batman away because he physically can't stand up. Diana doesn't particularly appreciate being laughed at, but the man's face deserves some happiness on it, so she'll take it.

Shazam approaches her after. " So, uh... Did you mean it? About - you know, those kids being..Good kids? Or something?"

" Of course! They're all unique and special in their own way. In fact, I have many examples of it. Billy allowed Darla to put him in a sparkly dress for the premiere of her movie and it is the sweetest act-"

" I got it! I got it," Shazam shuffles his fingers, looking younger than his massive height, asking for something that Diana recognizes but can't name,

" And... Just... You know - they're grateful for you. Even if they're going to be brats, or if they'll be angry and break rules and not listen to you...They appreciate you. A lot. I guess I just don't want you to regret them."

" I could never!" Diana is offended by the mere mention. " Children are people, and people will disappoint, and hurt. But they're so much more. I'll make mistakes, too. Hopefully I'll be mother enough to fix them."

" You are," Shazam tries to smile on his wobbly lips, before coughing around the emotion lumping his neck. " You're a great warrior. So you'll be a great mother."

" What's the difference?"

She doesn't know how Shazam figured out her favorite coffee mix, but she's grateful.

heys......

*gets scared*

he don’t got the booty

Shazam has a Twitter and everything he posts is just straight up lies but nobody can figure out if he has a super weird life or if he’s messing with all of them (it’s both)

You’re considered by the Jedi Order as a very cryptic but accurate oracle. Truthfully though, whenever someone asks a question, you just retreat to your chambers, say you’re consulting the Force, watch the DVDs of Star Wars and say it very cryptically to make it look legitimate.

dpxdc twins au except it's no-pulse flavored

Bart’s new roommate looks a lot like Tim. 

Like, suspiciously like Tim. 

Danny’s the same height, has the same shape of nose, same shade of hair, and even frowns like him. He would have been a perfect copy if he acted more like Tim, but Danny definitely holds himself looser than Bart’s ever seen Tim. 

But he still has his face. So, obviously, Bart has to investigate. Maybe he’s a clone, or a shapeshifter, or maybe one of the Gotham rogues decided to get facial reconstruction surgery to look like him, and this was all a ploy. 

Okay, probably not that last one. Bart doesn’t think Tim’s enemies know his identity. 

Anyway, investigation! Bart’ll figure this out himself, and deal with it if Danny needs to be dealt with. And the investigation will start right after he comes up with an excuse as to why he’s back in their third floor apartment when he passed Danny in the hallway a few seconds before. 

Danny stares at him, and Bart stares back. 

“Must’ve been a doppelganger!” Bart blurts out. 

Danny’s silent for a second before nodding enthusiastically and noting that everyone's supposed to have like seven in the world anyway and wow what a wild coincidence that there’s one in their building. 

Bart extends the same courtesy when a week later he walks in on Danny with an iced over pan on the stove. Danny says they should really get their freezer checked out and Bart agrees and asks if he can use the ice for a painting study. 

(They never get their freezer checked.)

Bart finds that Danny’s great at setting up fun things for him to draw, whether he knows it or not. Like the ice, or his collection of rocks, his astronomy textbooks with the pretty covers, his gestures as he rants about his classes, the excited glint in his eyes when he’s talking about his next repair project and how his eyes almost look like they glow in the right light. 

Hm. A good portion of his sketchbook is drawings of Danny, and yet he’s still having trouble with getting the right blue for his eyes. At first glance they’re Tim’s shade of blue, but when he keeps looking they seem to get lighter. Maybe greener?

He should probably stop staring into his friend’s eyes. 

Well, maybe not. Danny doesn’t seem to mind. 

Just like he doesn’t mind when they started regularly sitting very close on the couch, or falling asleep together, or Bart borrowing some of his jackets, or-

Okay, Bart’s kinda seeing a pattern. He and Danny should really have a conversation about if this is platonic behavior or not. 

But not right now, because Bart brought Danny across the river to raid Wally’s board game closet in Keystone. 

And Wally, who’s used to this, just passes by them with a, “Hey Bart, hey Tim.”

“Danny, not Tim,” Danny replies almost absent mindedly, then looks back at Wally, who’s also staring at him now. “Wait, you know Tim?”

“OhmyGod I was supposed to investigate!” Bart says, face palming. It just slipped his mind! And Danny was distracting him with his pretty face that he totally wears better than Tim!

“You know him too?” Danny asks. But he doesn’t look suspicious of them, more amused. 

“How do you know him?” Wally squints at Danny, eyes briefly catching Bart’s in question. 

“He’s my twin,” Danny answers easily. “The Drakes only wanted one kid, so they gave me to their friends the Fentons, who wanted a second one.” He shrugs and goes back to digging around the closet. “Tim and I were always in contact, though. Letters and phone calls and texting, you know?” 

He says it all so casually while Wally and Bart are sharing increasingly concerned looks behind his back. 

Do the Waynes know about Danny? Has Tim never brought him up? Why? Does Danny know about Red Robin? Does Tim-

“Holy shit does this mean Tim has ice powers too!?” 

Or: Tim and Danny are twins. Through a series of coincidences, the first people to find out that aren’t Fentons or Drakes are the flashes.

(This post was brought to you by me recently finishing the 1995 Impulse run, and wanting an excuse to share this panel:

Look they both got called twinks clearly they're soulmates)