Broke: Time Is In Charge Because He’s The Oldest

"the world isn't kind" ok??? Much more importantly are you?????

Jason and Tim: *literally the most traumatic experience known to man, one that changes how anyone would look at them (e.g. Jason digging himself out of his own grave or Tim blowing up the leagues bases)*

Dick *absolutely mortified*: and you didn't tell me earlier because...?

Jason/Tim: idk, it never came up.

Dick: that's something you bring up!

Space Orcs and the Myth of Harmless Prey Animals

Human, talking to Alien about a bully: So, what you're never going to fight back?

Alien: I am of a prey species, we are not capable of fighting back.

Human: So, what? You'd just stand there and let something eat you??

Alien, flapping its flipticles in helpless anxiety: What else can we do? We are not born with the ability to do harm. We are plant-eaters.

Human: What's that got to with it? The most dangerous animal on Earth is a herbivore and it's a bulletproof tank of pure bloodlust.

2nd Human, who was listening in: Also most herbivores can and will eat meat if they get the chance to scavange on smaller corpses.

I think one of DC's biggest mistakes is the fact that Billy Batson, Jon Kent, and Damian Wayne aren't an established trio

I refuse to believe these three didn't meet each other and immediately agree to start causing problems on purpose

Damian's an ex assassin, son of Batman, and the heir to the biggest crime ring in the world, who hates himself, but also believes he's the best person alive

Jon is Superman's son, and has somehow managed to convince everyone he's a Good Boy™ when his best friend is Ra's al Ghul's grandson

And Billy's a teenage boy who has/is tricking the Justice League into letting him stay on their team because he can make himself look like an Adult Man™

These three should be committing felonies together DC

There is no real winning when your a shazam villain cause you ethier a grown ass adult beating the shit out of a 10 year old or getting the shit beat out of you by a 10 year old

Question number 1: does captain marvel have finger prints?

Question 2: if yes, are they the same as Billy’s?

Now imagine the jl runs a background check on their newest member captain marvel and what comes back is a match for a 12 year old run away from the foster system with chargers of minor theft and trespassing

Short DPXDC Prompts #232

Danny starts as a low level intern in Wayne Industries and is very concerned when people keep referring to him as Tim and keep asking him to sign papers and attend meetings that aren’t remotely in his job description.

I understand the appeal of wanting every adult hero to instinctively adopt teenage Peter Parker, but can it really beat the hilarity of acknowledging that at 15 Peter was 5'10", unusually buff, went by a moniker with Man in it, wore a creepy full face mask, and had a tightly guarded secret identity and probably a Queens accent thick enough to have come out of a jello mold, and adult heroes reasonably responded to him by going, “Wow, this grown man is an immature asshole for no reason.”

You've been cast into a fictional setting, and you don't get to pick your genre. This wheel picks it for you.