Rabbit-with-a-grapefruit-spoon - I Have A Sharpened Spoon

I understand the appeal of wanting every adult hero to instinctively adopt teenage Peter Parker, but can it really beat the hilarity of acknowledging that at 15 Peter was 5'10", unusually buff, went by a moniker with Man in it, wore a creepy full face mask, and had a tightly guarded secret identity and probably a Queens accent thick enough to have come out of a jello mold, and adult heroes reasonably responded to him by going, “Wow, this grown man is an immature asshole for no reason.”

Persephone captain marvel au. Hear me out.

Associated with duality, reincarnation, resurrection, childhood innocence (and it getting ripped away by adults), and her 'counterpart' Kore, which is her in her returning aspect of spring, youthfulness, new life... Come on. Is that not the closest thing to Billy you've ever seen in ancient Greece? Where he gets his powers?

It all starts with Teth Adam, and his devastation at the death of his son. He finds the old paths, breaks them open, and storms down into the underworld to demand him back. His is not a new story.

But where Persephone might ordinarily be inclined to ease her husband's scorn, give the troubled mourner a chance, she is speaking to the champion of magic, the world's mightiest mortal. The chance of success is too high. The challenge would not be enough. The death was too high profile and would risk too many attempting to follow in his footsteps. The man is too unstable, too powerful, too close to the heart of magic for it to be safe - for any of him - to grant his wish and risk his false hope.

They deny him.

Enraged, implacable, Teth Adam lashes out. The battle is long and drawn out, neither side tiring even as both weaken, but Persephone, in either form, is not one of war, and she is felled as her curses shatter, her furies tossed aside like dolls. The sound of Hades' scream as Adam's surprise leaves him open flattens the rubble of their throne room.

The wounded champion escapes, hounded by cerberus and skeletons instead of his son's shade, as her husband crashes to his knees beside her. She has not a mortal soul, and thus will be going where even Death cannot reach.

But Adam killed the goddess of reincarnation, and Billy has odd dreams. He's pretty sure he needs to ease up on the stress. He's restless in winter and distracted in summer, he can sleep outside in howling storms as long as he's tucked snug in the boughs of a tree, he's had the luck of never tasting a rotten fruit. Sometimes it feels like there's ghosts in his hideouts and the kids at school try and bribe him to curse their enemies.

When he chosen to be Captain Marvel the wizard chokes on his own speech when the smoke clears. They stare at each other.

"Well," says Persephone, "that was unexpected. Hullo."

"Hello," the wizard replies, "I was under the impression..."

"I don't think the laws of interference quite apply until I'm immortal again," he says.

The wizard's relief is palpable. It's understandable, he looks ready to keel over from old age. "Can I ask...?" he gestures at the new body. It takes a second to understand.

"Oh, I'm a boy now. For a while."

And that's that.

Until green lantern is killed in battle.

drunk and in love and full of food i think only the torturer eel could harm me

so athena burst out fully born from zeus's skull, right?

I hate myself?????? my brain just read bowie as bowsie????? like bowser whyyy??? 

I don’t know why but I find it immensely funny that the idea of John Constantine working with Billy Batson and/or Danny Fenton. People believing they are HIS sidekicks, when in reality, he is THEIR sidekick. 

starting one some of the ace headcanon art! and @pencil-pilferer​ THANK YOU, you get me, Asterix occupies a very special and specific “indisputably ace no you cannot change my mind” box in my mind

I like to think after so many years trapped in time, the people of Fawcett slowly put the pieces together and learn Captain Marvel’s identity. And this is where they completely deviate from “normal” people. Because living the way they do, with people who don’t age and shapeshifters and whatnot, they aren’t all that righteously angry for him. Especially when they’re trapped in suspendium bubble. Obviously they’re going to get good at keeping secrets.

Cue decades of Fawcett turning a blind eye to the Cap being a kid. After a fight between Cap and Sivana, a teacher trots over to him and gives him his homework, telling him she extended the due date to next Monday. An old lady gives him a juice box for when he turns back.

On the bright side for Billy, now he doesn’t have to keep explaining why no one’s ever seen Cap and his supposed best friend in the same room.

Fawcett makes sure to never document the events leading up to the reveal, or videos during transformation, or anything that someone could read and learn for themselves. This is good, because later, the bubble drops, and the rest of the world would apparently froth at the mouth at the mere mention of a kid being a hero(not even a sidekick!)

So I live in Scotland and one time in my mandatory drama class a few years ago we had were doing accents and had been split up into groups. Now I had I question so I stuck my hand up and when the teacher came over, she listened to me talk and then immediately said wow that's a great American accent and I just had to pause and look at her like silently for a sec cause wut the fuck before explaining that im from Canada and that's just how I talk and I have never seen a teacher look more mortified before

There's unexplored comedic potential with Captain Marvel/Shazam and his powers.

I know when they say "the power of Zeus" they focus on lightning, but Zeus is also a shapeshifter in mythology, that's one of his favorite forms of abuse of power.

Theoretically, Billy could be like Beast Boy or the Martians, and being a child, he would inevitably do dumb shit with this power.

Imagine him transforming into a goose and asking someone to post something like this