Rinatennojiandherweedsmokinggfs - Mike

It’s a breezy summer day and the rustling from the leaves outside sound like whispers from my small apartment. I’m sitting in front of my laptop, silently studying the 1.6 billion faces speaking simultaneously in front of me. It’s Monday, the day of the weekly conference call between all Muslims. We have been required to attend this Skype meeting from the the tender age of fetus, but I had never spoken in one of them before. 

That changes today. 

“Hey guys, what if…” I start to say. 

Nobody hears me, but I refuse to be silent. How could I show my face again on Tumblr if I couldn’t even save my mayonnaise friends from death? How could I expect to earn their respect? Anon was right; why hadn’t I done this before? Thousands of lives had paid the price for my ignorance, but not anymore.

“What if you guys….. stopped killing people.“ 

Suddenly, silence. 

1,643,398,023 pairs of eyes are on me. My heart is in my throat as the ISIS leader gives me a blank expression. 

A single tear rolls down my cheek. "Please.” I say with a broken voice. 

He is moved. 

“Aight”.

(flight intercom) this is the pilot speaking. yeah we expect todays flight to be normal. um if you look out your window you shouldnt see the skull

I can be your boyfriend. I can also be your girlfriend. The options are limitless. Except it has to be gay

putting chris pratt next to jack black almost makes me feel bad for chris like how are u gonna compare him to a God. a Legend. he wasnt good in the first place but when in a project with Jack Black its just like wow he is so sad he should be put down as a mercy

Mob Psycho 100 II OP 

He was inevitable

celebrate this valentines day the way god intended! cannibalize your lover!

let’s celebrate the star wars franchise’s diversity behind the camera :)