Ben Strikes Me As The Only Sane Person In A Room Full Of Overdramatic Weirdoes. Like Luther Would Be

some headcanons for ben once he’s back alive?

these are some dark ones lol sorry

•ben comes back to life. he's freezing cold, yet his stomach burns and aches with something unsettled

•one of the first things he does is try to eat. the smell of food quickly becomes too strong and nauseating. he vomits out all his dinner

•he forgets that the others can hear him, and tends to only address klaus when speaking

•his skin aches for contact, for touch, starved of it after 14 years of being incorporeal

•his siblings greet him with big hugs.

•the touch is overwhelming, and he quickly has to excuse himself for a break. only klaus can physically contact him for a while after that.

•he forgets how to eat, how to sleep, forgets to breathe and blink.

•after years of built up codependency, it becomes habit and a comfort to ben. the others have to stress to him that he is independent.

•he finds himself still lingering around klaus like a shadow. he slowly grows controlling with knowing where klaus is, what he's doing, now that he isn't around to see.

•anxiety claws at him at long bouts of separation.

•he tries desperately to bond with his other siblings, but forgets how to respond in certain social situations.

•his stomach burns from The Horror being alive again. It rumbles and claws under his skin when he tries to sleep

just a random headcanon:

where klaus has a really long an elaborate coffee order and ben has memorized it because he loves him.

ben also made his coffee order really simple just so klaus could remember it. ben still has to help him remember it sometimes though lol

klaus buys both coffees and drinks them both even though he doesn’t even like ben’s order.

i love my coffee boys :,)

Word of the Day: санитар (Day 4)

санитар /sənʲɪˈtar/ noun, general – orderly, hospital attendant

Female counterpart is санитарка. 

В палату примчались санитары. The orderlies rushed into the room.

This is the Day 4 of the handwriting challenge. I’m very glad that many of you have been enjoying it! Three more days, and you are done! 

The Hargreeves as Death of a Bachelor songs

Luther (Number One): House of Memories

I think of you from time to time More than I thought I would You were just too kind And I was too young to know That’s all that really matters I was a fool

Diego (Number Two): The Good, the Bad, and the Dirty

If you wanna start a fight You better throw the first punch Make it a good one And if ya wanna make it through the night You better say my name like The good, the bad, and the dirty

Allison (Number Three): LA Devotee

Static palms melt your vibe Midnight whisperings

The black magic of Mulholland Drive Swimming pools under desert skies Drinking white wine in the blushing light Just another LA Devotee

Klaus (Number Four): Don’t Threaten Me with a Good Time

I was the king of this hologram Where there’s no such thing as getting out of hand Memories tend to just pop up Drunk pre-meds and some rubber gloves Five-thousand people with designer drugs Don’t think I’ll ever get enough  

Five (Number Five): Crazy=Genius

If crazy equals genius Then I’m a fucking arsonist  I’m a rocket scientist  If crazy equals genius  You can set yourself on fire  But you’re never gonna burn, burn, burn  You can set yourself on fire  But you’re never gonna learn, learn, learn hey!

Ben (Number Six): Hallelujah

Then the time for being sad is over And you miss ‘em like you miss no other And being blue is better than being over it 

No one wants you when you have no heart and I’m sitting pretty in my brand new scars and You’ll never know if you don’t ever try again

Vanya (Number Seven): Impossible Year

There’s no good times This impossible year Just a beachfront of bad blood And a coast that’s unclear All the guests at the party They’re so insincere They just intrude and exclude

slightly shittier power au

luther is still super strong. but to activate his strength he has to use a dumbbell with one arm.

diego can only curve shitty plastic cutlery. they surprsingly do a lot of damage.

allison can still rumour people but she has to say “want to know the hot goss?” first. 

klaus can still see the dead. thats it. thats the power.

five’s time travel only works if he makes the tardis flying sound before jumping through time.

ben still has the horror but its not tentacles. its a bunch of spider legs and its somehow more terrifying 

vanya still has her sound powers but they only work if she listens to pop music made in the last decade. she causes the apocalypse by listening to despacito

guess who loves colouring but sucks at it ayyyy here’s Ben Hargreeves, no.6!

Jim from the office and Ben from the umbrella academy are the same person

What's scarier: ghosts and ghouls or that the only thing preventing the apocalypse is a 58 year-old man trapped in a child's body and his six dysfunctional siblings?

Ben: how do you make time fly?

Five: time isn’t real

Klaus: give him a break, he’s dead

Five: but it’s not-

Ben, crying: y-you throw the clock

Klaus: I am straight-up depressed. Ben’s been doing his best to cheer me up. He gave me this sticker this morning just for waking up.

Diego: Ew, it’s like you’re dating your teacher.

Klaus: I know, it’s so hot.