19.03.2025 (wed)

I was editing my draft as I did stuff but posted it earlier (b4 I was done) and didn't even notice -_-

14.04.2025 (mon)

(2 of my many many handwritings lmfao)

day (5/30) of DOP COLLAB CHALLENGE

Ypt hours ≈ 4 hrs

💤 ≈ 5 hrs + 20 min power nap otbrh 💤

The eng test went pretty okay :)

Studied for my chem test

Completed random notes of eng & phy

Math hw

Phy lec 1

Would've liked to do one more but I was sleepy and wanted to get at least 6 hrs of sleep (per night is the goal lmfao). My head kinda hurts too hehe =D

BYEE (⁠ ⁠˘⁠ ⁠³⁠˘⁠)💗

14.03.2025 (fri)

Woke up at 12 PM today and got hit with a killer headache that just kept getting worse 😭. The only reason I survived was because there were just a couple of hours till iftar. Took a painkiller, but it didn’t do much. Still managed to squeeze in some studying—not a lot, but hey, it’s something. Started strong but ended procrastinating towards the end 😭

Things I did today ~

Revised Lec 1 stuff from yesterday

Watched Lec 2 and made notes

Started Lec 3

The good part? I actually understood things pretty easily today, so I’m breathing a little easier. Still a long way to go, but small wins are still wins !!

Anyways,

BYEEEE

(⁠ ⁠˘⁠ ⁠³⁠˘⁠)💗

I am done letting others into my progress just for them to compare, judge, or make me doubt myself. I worked hard to get where I am, and I don’t need to prove anything to anyone. My success is mine. My journey is mine. I am no longer giving people the power to affect how I feel about my own efforts.

I don’t need to share what I’m reviewing, what I’m working on, or how I feel after an exam for toxic people who seek constant validation through grades and others' approval. I don’t need to join in on answer-checking just to feel validated or worried. I am choosing peace. I am choosing to trust myself. I don’t need to compare because I know that my effort will always pay off in its own way.

I am stepping back. I am focusing on myself. I know what works best for me, and if that means studying alone and keeping my progress to myself, then that’s exactly what I will do. I don’t owe anyone my notes, my strategies, or my explanations I share only with ppl who are supportive and respectful . If others are curious, they will have to find their own way, just like I do. I am no longer available for people who only want my knowledge but don’t truly support me or respect my boundaries.

I will not let small mistakes make me doubt everything I’ve done. I will not let others’ reactions make me feel like I am any less smart. I have proven to myself that I am capable, and I will keep proving it in my own way, at my own pace. I am enough. I am strong. I am moving forward for me.

@bloomzone

WEEKEND TO DO LIST (march 20 to 22)

Bio - record work

Bio - complete diagrams

Bio - study rifp

Bio - complete notes (coaching)

Chem - study chemical kinetics

Chem - ws

Chem - lec 5,6,7 fml

Chem - NOTESSSS

Phy - study electric charges & fields

Math - study matrices

These are the stuff I HAVE to do. And if I have time I have to start doing questions and covering 11th backlogs cuz I haven't started YET 😭

I want to be completely honest.

There are going to be people who are better than you.

There will be times when someone is going to get ahead of you

And there will be times when you worked hard, and you didn't achieve it.

And yes, it is fine. Completely fine. You are allowed to be disappointed. You are allowed to be sad. And you are allowed to get pissed.

It's the brutal truth that you may not get what you want all the time. And you should learn to be okay with that.

I was thinking of starting a side blog for my random shi and yaps cuz I want this blog just 4 tracking my studying n progress 👀

Let me give you, the internet, and mostly myself, some executive function advice.

Sometimes, when you find yourself somehow unable to do a thing you need or want to do, one issue might be that your brain has subconsciously tacked on extra tasks, and those tasks are making the whole thing too overwhelming!

Tl;dr: don't do that!

For example, I like to track the books I read and I've been meaning to add a few books I've recently finished. But my brain has added that I should also write a review, and the exact dates I read them (which I can't even remember) and oh by the way I should finish moving my stuff over to storygraph and before I know it that 1 task has turned into 4! And my executive functioning says no.

In fact, while I was getting the idea to write this post, my brain went "wouldn't it be nice to also write a post about y and tag them all properly and go back through my posts and find all mental health posts and tag those too" and wouldn't you know it. 4 tasks.

Discard those extra tasks. Don't even write them down. They don't matter. Strip it down to the 1 task you started with and only do that.

Sure, you won't have achieved some theoretical better end result but that end result was never gonna happen anyway. It was paralysing you from getting the initial task done. And maybe once that initial task is done, you can get to one (1! not 4!) additional task. Later. Not now.

Half-assing is better than no-assing.

02.03.2025

First Day Back + Study Plans

Woke up at 4 AM for suhoor, and after Fajr, I tried going back to sleep since I had to be up by 6:30 AM (my bus comes at 7). Ideally, I want to use the two hours before school to study, but today, I was running on just 3 hrs of sleep. I knew I’d be exhausted on my first day back, but I just couldn’t fall asleep no matter how hard I tried. I hate my life So, I ended up just lying in bed and then ironing my uniform lol.

At school, there weren’t any actual classes, so nothing much happened. Came home and took a 3 hr nap—not because I was super sleepy, but because I knew I’d regret not getting some rest. Now, thinking back, I kinda regret that regret sleeping that long 🤦🏻‍♀️ should’ve just taken a 1-2 hour nap instead.

Afterwards, I cleaned the rest of my room and planned out my study schedule for the week. Apart from daily live classes at my coaching (except Sundays, which are free for now), I want to revise some 11th-grade topics, starting with organic nomenclature. Here's my plan:

✦ Monday: Live class + Lecture 1 & 2

✦ Tuesday: Live class + Lecture 3 & 4

✦ Wednesday: Live class + Lecture 5 & 6

✦ Thursday: Live class + Lecture 7 & 8

✦ Friday: Live class + Buffer day

✦ Saturday: Live class + Test

✦ Sunday: Lecture 1, 2, 3

Keeping it flexible because, well, life happens, but let’s see how it goes! Hoping I can actually stick to this ;)

Ciao ppl <33

28.04.2025 (mon)

Day (19/30) DOP COLLAB CHALLENGE

Ypt hrs ≈ 3.45 hrs

💤 ≈ 6 hrs + 20-30 min nap 💤

Revised lec 1,2 & half of 3 of electrostatics

Completed lec 3

Did like 6 practice problems (I swearrr u think u know a topic until you do the problems. Then you realize u actually know NOTHING :')

I’m sick AGAIN.

Was so tired at school today—didn’t even roam around during break, just slumped at my desk the whole time.

I know you’re supposed to sleep a lot to recover and everything, but it’s hard when studying even one lecture takes foreverrrr. I have SO much to do and I literally can’t afford to sleep right now. Ughhh.

Toodles ~~

(⁠ ⁠˘⁠ ⁠³⁠˘⁠)💗