Tuba Funny, Had To Reblog

Bruce has always been...complicated. With his kids. Granted, the life they lead doesn't make anything easy, but he has always, in some way, failed them.

Watching them all die was evidence enough of that.

If he'd trained them properly, if he'd been there for them, then they wouldn't have died.

All of them came back, but that doesn't forgive that they died in the first place.

So when he came across a fumbling teen hero, with no mentors, who had come to Bruce's attention already dead, he feels that he's been granted a chance.

This kid, should he train him, isn't at risk of dying on Bruce. This kid, who really does need the help, is not a kid that Bruce would ever consider his kid; he has a ghostly home (a haunt) and a ghostly family (a fraid) that love him very much.

Bruce's only position in Phantom's life would be as a teacher.

He's been granted a chance to see if his emotional attachment to his sons (and daughter) is interfering with his ability to train them properly, or if he's just lacking in the knowledge of how to effectively train a teenager for combat.

With Phantom's living impaired situation, if it turns out it's just his teaching skills, then Phantom won't actually die.

Phantom doesn't come by Gotham often, but he manages to pop in just enough that Bruce hammers out a training schedule with him.

He doesn't mean to start ignoring Damian or Tim or Dick, it's just that Phantom needs so much more assistance. He knows basic combat, but not the kind of combat he'll need in the wider world of heroes vs villains.

Phantom needs more work in how to think tactically. Phantom needs more work in sticking to the training schedule, or to any schedule. Phantom needs help understanding high school classes he can't interact with due to being dead.

All in all, Phantom just needs more help.

That's all it is. That's it.

~~~~~~

Damian is...upset. He's upset.

He's pissed.

This random stranger, who isn't even one of his brothers, is taking all of Father's attention. Not even paternal attention, the other teen is stealing away all the time and effort required to ensure Damian's training doesn't slip for himself.

Timothy, too, is noticing the lack of attention to training, and has taken it upon himself to drop by more often to fill in for Father, sparring with Damian and going over training exercises.

Richard, as well, is not only noticing but very annoyed. He's pulling Father aside and has had many furiously whispered conversations with him, but to no avail.

Nights when Phantom is present Damian already knows Father will pair with the dead hero instead of him, leaving Damian to partner with one of his brothers.

Timothy and Richard insist that it's just some strange and outlandish ploy Father is playing, but Damian knows better.

It's because he isn't good enough.

It's because he failed to meet Father's expectations.

He will have to push himself, then, to exceed them.

He can start by going on patrol alone.

Please, someone help me. I am invested. I desire to write this, but I don’t know enough about the lore of either fandom to properly string this along. My need is desperate, and I cannot do anything to satiate it-

In Arkham they don't allow outside media in fear of the rouges getting any ideas. This leads to them treating the staff like their own personal TV show, this leads to a level of parasocial obsession that can often be detrimental (See Harley Quinn as a notable example). So when DR. Jazz Fenton comes in with subtle hinting of government conspiracies and a 'i've seen worse' attitude they are INVESTED. Meany of them are staying just for the show, their plans can wait they NEED to know this woman's backstory.

"hey it's been awfully quiet"

"Yeah, new hire at Arkham, it happens sometimes"

*3 months later*

"sooo"

"yeah something's definitely up"

Ghost adoption is a sacred thing, because, once accepted by both sides, it can’t be undone. The entities are forever tied together by the infinite realms. It might have started as a joke, but both the phantoms and John slowly started to actually see each other as family. Once it was official, well, ghost adoption is permanent after all. Constantine may not be part ghost or liminal, but he is part demon, and that’s close enough. The DNA and look changes? Simple. Things are a little different since they’re all still alive (well, partially, but still).

But, unintentional bonus points for John. He just tied his soul to the King of the Infinite realms for all eternity and has effectively cheated all of his contracts, however accidentally it may have been. Downside, he can’t make any more new deals, because the demons can sense who he’s connected to now, but, he’s got some really powerful backup now that the ghost children have magic, so he doesn’t really need to make any new contracts anymore.

I made another post about Danny and about how the justice league believes that something exists in the ghost zone then that makes it exist, but I had an idea since then.

So as a joke, John and Danny claim to be related. (Jazz, Dan, and Dani get in on it too.)

Batman: ...you have a family.

John: what? You think you're the only one with kids?

Batman: that *points at Dan* is a grown ass man.

Dan: hey dad, Jazz wants to know if you'll pick up some milk from the store, she says we're out.

John: sure, she want anything else?

Dan: nah but Dani wants you to grab some pizza while you're there.

Batman:....

And at some point, they start coming to him with their problems.

Dan needs a place to stay? Johns couch is free.

Danny needs help with schoolwork? John might not know what the answer is, but he'll try and help.

Jazz needs someone to rant to? She'll call John.

Dani needs help dismantling a cult? John will be right there in an hour.

They don't acknowledge it outloud, but if they have a problem John is the first person they think of to call for help.

The ghost zone and it's inhabitants also accept John as the ghost kids parent, like if they say it's true then it must be true.

Then they start changing just a bit.

Their hair gets lighter (closer to blonde) their eyes change by a couple shades, and unknown to them, their DNA changes.

And they don't really notice it...

Until they start developing magic.

And Jazz nearly kills someone with that magic when her breakfast attacks her.

I agree, we need a fic of this, anyone, pls-

Wally West is sacrificed to summon the Ghost King.

They cut him up, use his blood for the sigil, and have him bound in the middle of it.

But instead of the Ghost King, Wally gets a freaking out teenager who is trying his best.

Danny, meanwhile, was in the middle of taking an English test when he was ripped from the classroom and into some weird secret base. Good news, there's no way Lancer can get mad at him for this. Bad news, he's in human form and there's a hero bleeding out.

I have an intense need for this particular AU, for the Batfam to learn of his previous vigilantism, and for the kids to go: Seeee, we didn’t involve a civilian. ✨

Danny has been having issues trying to find a job that allows him to use his powers. He’s no longer in the superhero scene anymore but why not still put his powers to use?

After successfully gaining a job as a Stuntman, he didn’t know what he signed himself up to do but he took multiple classes to prepare and fell in love with the profession. His powers letting him further excel in his career as things like flight, intangibility, and duplication all were things that studio heads were delighted of as it lessened the cost of production.

Stuntman don’t get a lot of recognition by average film goers which is fine for Danny. Staying under the radar and living a normal life is all he could ever ask for.

Sadly for Danny, that anonymity didn’t last forever. Danny was hired as a stunt performer in a 90s satire esque autobiography movie written and starring the Gotham Billionaire Bruce Wayne.

During an on set interview midway though Bruce explaining to the interviewer that Hot Shots was his biggest inspiration for this film, Danny casually walked behind the set, just trying to get to the costume department and thinking nothing of being temporarily on camera behind the Billionaire.

The day the interview was uploaded onto YouTube, Danny’s phone was blowing up from messages from his friends and family telling him he had become an internet sensation overnight. It turns out his casual walk behind Bruce Wayne led to the internet losing their minds trying to find the Bruce Wayne look-alike. I mean, Danny DID become Bruce’s primary stunt double because he looked so similar, that’s the whole point of stunt doubles, but Danny didn’t think it was THAT similar.

I absolutely need to know what happens after this. Like, hello? How does the Justice League react to this?

DCxDP - Death and Taxes

Broke college student but also the Ghost King Danny looking at the stack of complaint forms in his inbox about people cheating death. In a stroke of sleep deprived inspiration, he issues a royal decree that anyone who has properly died before (I.e biologically dead, not just clinically dead) is still a citizen of the Infinite Realms, even if they were resurrected. And have to pay income tax to the Crown.

He establishes the Infinite Realms Revenue Service, recruits the ghosts of some meticulous accountants and sends them after all the assholes who think they can escape Death and Taxes. Starting with the worst offenders (ie those who have escaped death the longest/most often). Your tax bracket scales with how many times you died.

Just picture Ra's al-Ghul, in the middle of giving some speech to his assassin cult when this Phil Coulson looking ghost dude shows up behind him to "discuss the back taxes he owes to the Crown".

Every magic user worth their salt is suddenly swamped with messages from panicked villains and heroes who are trying to figure out wtf is going on and how to get out of this. Constantine is sweating bullets.

Danny hires Valerie to do mortal side "casework", because a, she's just as saddled with student debt as he is b, has worked fast food and knows how to handle asshole customers c, doesn't take shit from anybody.

Imagine Vandal Savage, Felix Faust and Red Hood awkwardly sitting in a waiting room with a stack of documents each, ready for their number to be called so they can dispute their claims. Being called in and utterly flummoxed at the unflappable, bored young woman at the desk who somehow has files on everything about you - birth record, death record(s), who you killed and when records... now declare your income as a crime lord/dictator/sorcerer, sir.

Meanwhile Danny is planning on how he can allocate the taxes to open a soup kitchen for Lunch Lady to work at and similar shit. He is determined to be a good king, dammit!

continuation from a separate post thread (Danny is Bruce’s clone). Op said the old post got too long, so they made a new one. Had to share the new story. ☺️

Clone Danny long post

The footprints lead Alfred out of the room and to the right but quickly dried up on the short hair carpet.

Alfred checked every room to the right of Danny's. He had to have left the family wing. 40 minutes of searching later, Alfred was about to go down yet another hallway when he heard faint music and metal clanging. He walked closer to the sound until he could make out some words.

🎶I- can hear the sound of violins🎶

🎶long before- it begins🎶

The gym. Someone is at the gym. He told Dick to relax. This is the opposite of relaxing. He stops for a moment outside the door to gather himself. People listen to empathy more than anger. When Alfred pushed the door open and looked down at the workout area, he didn't see a disobedient clown. No. Instead, he was forcibly dragged back to 1989, staring at a 13 year old Bruce doing chest presses. He always looked the most at ease when he was at the gym. The rest of the time, he would be looking for his parents' killer or discovering seacret organizations. Alfred used to cherish the time Bruce spent at the gym because he knew it was the closest he could get to calm. Shortly, Danny put down his 3 kg weights and addressed Alfred.

"Morning, Alfred. Breakfast already? Thought I had more time." He sounded like Bruce, more than just his voice. Danny had his own way of talking, but this was all Bruce.

"Young Master," best not to object to his perceived reality, whatever that may be. "It's almost seven in the afternoon, not morning." The sun would have spoiled that for him anyway. "And dinner will be ready in two hours."

"Oh, ok. I'll be there at nine then." Danny simply went over to the next station in his routine. Right as he sat down on the floor, something seemed to dawn on him. "Alfred? Did something happen to me?" He asked innocently.

Alfred remained frozen, staring at the young boy. "What would give you that idea?"

"I woke up in a different room than usual, I had to switch down all my weights, and the files in my father's office have been moved. And then you came in looking like you've seen a ghost." Ever the detective.

"Nothing gets past you. I'm afraid you had a rather bad fever and spent a few days in bed. I would like to examine your health, but it can wait. Let's say, eight-thirty? Before dinner?"

"Kitchen at eight-thirty, got it."

Alfred left the room and braced himself on the door. He thinks he's Bruce. He probably thinks it's the 80s or 90s, too. It's a good thing most everyone is out hunting down clues and/or committing extreme acts of violence.

Danny had changed into an all black suit (bowtie and kerchief included) before coming to the kitchen at 8:27. Hmm, he does like to be punctual. His temperature and heart rate were normal, for once he didn't have bags under his eyes, which responded in time to light. But, he was definitely younger than he was when he arrived. Dick wasn't imagining that.

"Can you tell me your name, age, and today's date?"

"Bruce Thomas Wayne, 12, almost 13, today is November, uh," He struggled a bit. "17th? Maybe a bit later, 1988." He avoided eye contact. "Just so we're clear, I wouldn't have known today's date even if I hadn't been sick."

Alfred smiled a little, remembering how much he used to care about getting good scores on everything. "I'll be sure to include that in the report." He retorted sarcastically, earning a small grin back. "Now go wash up, dinners almost ready."

As per routine, Alfred started by bringing out the helthiest dishes. They all knew it was a trick to get them to eat vegetables, but no one was ever willing to wait. Danny was so hungry, even the brussel sprouts were appetizing. Now if Alfred could just stop staring at him and actually put the container on the table.

"Alfred?"

"W, what?"

"Are you OK?"

Danny had combed his hair when he'd asked him to wash up. This was Bruce. This was the boy Alfred raised. The one who had fallen asleep in his arms every night for months because he refused to be alone in the dark. The one who used to "forget" to tell Alfred about the handfuls of peanut butter in his pockets, ruining thousand dollars dress pants on six different occasions. The one who wanted to keep street cats knowing full well he was allergic.

"Do you need a day off? Or maybe a week?"

"What? No. I'm alright master Bruce. Just, uhm, glad to see you have your appetite back. That's all." Keep it together now. He set down a steaming glass dish full of baked carrots, sweet potatoes, bell peppers, onions, brussel sprouts, broccoli, cauliflower, and mushrooms.

Danny took as big a serving as he could fit (vegetables can only go in the top right on his plate), making sure not to let the butter run too much. The next dish was steamed turnip. Crap. Another vegetable. Can't mix them. Can't put it somewhere else. The only option is to finish the baked vegetables fast.

By the time he finished his quarter of a turnip, six more dishes had already shown up. How many people does Alfred think live here?

At 21:11 Dick walked into the dining room. Dressed in a plain shirt and pants. The two boys looked like they were going to entirely different events.

"Hello." Danny invited. "I'm sorry, have we met?"

"This gentleman is detective Richard Grayson." Alfred interjected. "Master Dick, would you care to join us for dinner?"

"Oh, where are my manners? Here, have a seat. There's plenty of food."

The dinner after that was awkward, but nice. It's good to have some company once in a while. Ever since his parents died, it's just been him and Alfred.

He did wake up late in the afternoon, so it shouldn't be such a surprise that he got to stay up and watch his gray ghost VHS tapes way later than his usual bedtime. Only interrupted occasionally by Alfred, making sure he's keeping all that food down. He had to have been really sick. He doesn't even remember throwing up recently.

He must have dosed off at some point because he was awoken abruptly at some horrid hour of the night by an ear pierceing scream. He hurried to its sorce in the family wing where he saw what looked like another Bruce, except this one had white hair and wore a black onesie. He appeared to be melting into a glowing green sludge. Bruce knelt down and grabbed the boy, who stopped screaming. Opting to bury his face in Bruce's chest instead.

Alfred came just as the gruesome scene was over. 4:50 am, same place, same time, every night. Alfred had hoped something had improved when the screaming stopped early. But rather than the typical gorey mess, there was Danny, inconsolable and covered in slime.

"Wh, wh, ah?" Who was that? What was that?? Why was that???

"Master da- Bruce." At lightning speed, Alfred was on his knees and holding Danny. "Come on, you don't have to be here." He tried to lift him up, but Danny resisted.

"...Why do you have the carpet cleaner?" He accused. "Did you know this would happen?"

Finally finished 😭 Timelapse at the bottom! I had an idea for my Wings of Pages series, where instead of text, it's a book full of botanical illustrations. The majority of the time was spent on the individual flowers for each feather/page of the wings. I really love the look of old botanical books with the water color paintings and the scientific names written in cursive. So I spent way too many hours painting out 20 of these flower pages, and even then, it wasn't enough for the wings so I did have to duplicate some.

Here are the 20 flowers! The HD image of Atlas Botanicus, and all 20 HD flower studies without watermark will be DMed on Patreon.com/Yuumei on May 5th, along with the hours long video recording of how I painted everything.

Meanwhile, Clark is absolutely terrified that the civilian that just bodied him no problem, is now working for his number 1 enemy, Lex Luthor. This may or may not be part of the reason Danny took Lex’s offer. A little harmless payback. 😈

Danny holding a glowing jar: What is this? Clockwork: Oh, that's some human soul I won in a poker game with a few demons. Danny:A human soul? What the hell did you bet that was the same value as a human soul? Clockwork: Your hand in marriage Danny: I BEG YOU FINEST PARDON?! Clockwork: Relax, I won, didn't I? Now I have a neat soul in a jar. Danny: Who does this even belong to? Clockwork:A child. Danny: .....you're giving this back. Clockwork: What? Why? The child wasn't even using it. Danny: I'm taking the soul back. What's the child's name? Clockwork: *Sigh* Fine, ruin my fun. The boy is called Subject 514A. Danny: What kind of name is that? Clockwork: He's a clone of another human child that was experimented on and was never given a personal name. Hence, Subject 514A. His body is currently deteriorating as we speak. If he stays in his current dimension, Death will claim him. Danny: WHAT!? We got to do something! Clockwork: I can't in his current dimension. Death has jurisdiction there as Fate has set that child's life to end. Danny: .....you set this jar out to appeal to my Savior complex and help you get back at Death and Fate didn't you? Clockwork: I KNOW THOSE TWO CHEATED AT CARDS! So I figured stealing one of their little humans and moving him into a nearby dimension a few years ahead would drive them up a wall. They have no power there since the timeline is my jurisdiction! Danny: And I wouldn't let anything happen to Subject 514A, meaning that the world would accommodate the Ghost King and the child under his care. You're using me a pawn in your petty game. Clockwork: You're still going to take that boy and raise him. Danny: Yeah, because I have the body to be a perfect DILF, but that's beside the point! I mean if he's a clone would the orginal be in the new dimension? Clockwork: Yes, but Bruce Wayne would be a full-grown adult with multiple children of his own instead of a sixteen-year-old adolescent like Subject 514A. Danny: Great, a teenager in angst. why not. Clockwork watching Danny leave through a portal to grab his new son: All according to plan. Soon, Wayne will assume Danny is raising his unknown, ill son, and my ship will sail once they get to know each other. he ha he ha he ha.

why does it remind me of a spider-

SO THIS GIF FROZE AND