I Love Walking 'slightly' Away From The Wall So That These Former Frat-bro Business Dudes Have To Move

There were two huge cottonwood trees in my backyard growing up and now they're being removed

they're causing damage so they need to be removed but I'm just sad I have so many memories with those trees and now they're gone

Ok so currently I work with a circus and part of my job is to walk them to the stage before and after each show. We all happen to be wearing black clothes, they all have bits of their colorful costumes showing, and I have bright green hair.

It is my favorite thing to walk through the crowd afterwards, and the people tell the performers that they did a great job in the show. Then they see me at the end of the line and get so confused, cause they swear there wasn't a green haired person on stage but she was in line, and is dressed just like them so she must have performed too.

Absolutely hilarious

robin bullying batman part 2

Clark: Hi! You must be Batman’s sidekick!

Robin!Dick: Actually, he’s my sidekick.

Bruce: No. Stop telling people that.

Dick: You’re saying that if I left right now you wouldn’t follow me?

Bruce:

Dick: Yeah, that’s what I thought.

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Bruce: Have you come up with any names for when you start being an independent hero?

Robin!Jason: I’m already an independent hero. We should come up with a name for you when you finally stop following me around.

Bruce: *war flashbacks*

Jason: I’m thinking something like Robin the Lesser. Or Worm, to really tie in the bird theme.

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Kon: So what’s it like working for Batman?

Robin!Tim: Batman isn’t my boss. He’s more like an annoying secretary I can’t fire because of nepotism.

Kon: But i thought you became a hero specifically to work for Batman.

Tim: I used to think that too. But do you know what I learned?

Kon: What?

Tim: Batman needs a Robin. Robin does not need a Batman.

Bruce, back in Gotham: *actively regretting listening to their comms*

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Bruce: You have to follow my orders!

Robin!Steph: No, I don’t. Just because you’re the loudest doesn’t mean you’re in charge.

Bruce: I see you and Tim have been talking.

Steph: Actually, you’re not even the loudest. *cue ear-piecing shriek*

Bruce: *falls off a gargoyle*

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Bruce, so tired: Are you gonna say that I’m your sidekick?

Robin!Damian: Tt, no.

Bruce: Oh thank God.

Damian: Goliath is my sidekick. Then Batcow is his sidekick. Titus is her sidekick and Alfred the Cat is Titus’s sidekick.

Bruce: …that’s a lot of sidekicks.

Damian: Yes. I suppose you may be Alfred the Cat’s sidekick. But if I get a new pet, you will be demoted.

Bruce: *sigh*

my singing voice is good for showers and mornings in the kitchen and drunken nights and lullabies for babies who need sleep and im okay with this

I trip coming out of the club and my platforms are so tall and so goth that I reach terminal velocity before I hit the floor and am obliterated instantly on impact

I finally finished all the pictures for my friend! If you look close enough, each picture is made up of little words.

A strong start. 

You know what Ao3 needs? A search button inside the History section

There's a couple at the airport and the guy is just raw dogging it. She's got a backpack but the only thing he has is one of those tiny neck pillows

I just want some ice cream but if I pull it out my dad will want some and I absolutely do not want to share with my dad

Please tell me he leaves soon