Guys It's Just Merch

me getting irrationally angry at hangers clinking together even tho there is a group of people talking and a huge ass fan right next to me

does this say anything about me? probably not

always check yourself for unnecessary negativity and bitterness

ok can I b the love of someone's life now

Theory: JK Rowling is actually Barty Crouch Jr taking polyjuice potion. The real JK Rowling is locked in a suitcase in Scotland. I pray daily for her release.

You’re the villain and you know that, you just want the ‘good guys’ to understand why.

She hadn’t seen it before, but he looks a wreck. Deep bags under his eyes, greasy, unkempt hair that’s falling out of his hat. There’s still flour and some egg remnants splattered on his face and clothes that he’s hastily trying to wipe off, but Kristin couldn’t care less about any of that. All she cares about is the way his eyes sparkle like sapphires when he looks at her, and that sudden energy courses through his body as he runs down the steps toward her.

“It’s Kristin!” he blurts, looking back at Niki, and then again to Kristin, blinking again and again like her very presence is incomprehensible. His voice is shaking too much to say anything more, his whole body trembling from far more than the cold as he draws nearer to her.

For the first time in so many years, Kristin doesn’t know what to do with herself. The mortal world is bright and overwhelming, and Phil is but one beautiful piece in all of it. She keeps an arm on a snow-covered spruce chair to steady herself, allowing him to take that final step towards her only because she doesn’t trust herself not to get horribly distracted if she reaches him first. “Hi,” Kristin says finally, feeling nearly as breathless as he looks.

the syndicate lore finale, but from c!kristin’s point of view, including all she did to get to phil.

reblog please thanks beloveds

Quotes from my friend: I smell like ketchup and there's not even ketchup on my burger ...just on me :(

just came up with a really good 4 word cooking horror story but idk if you guys are ready for it

“Oops.”

Danny shrieked.

The bloodied vigilante leaning against his wall was concerning. But even worse…

“My window!! Oh my god! Why?!”

“Your- is that- that’s seriously your first concern? I’m actually offended.”

“Oh, is the dumbass bleeding out on my carpet giving me sass? Watch the attitude, you’re half a quarter pint from death right now.”

“You’re strangely calm… about this.”

Danny gestured to his window, shattered in front of him.

“Do I look calm to you? I literally just replaced that window last week!”

“My bad.” The vigilante slid down the wall, leaving a bloody smear.

“Oh my god,” Danny groaned as he got a first aid kit and began patching the guy up. “I’m never getting my deposit back.”

“You have weird priorities.”

“Listen, bird guy-”

“Red Robin.” Bird guy interjected. He winced as Danny dabbed the alcohol soaked cotton ball harder on his cut.

“But if I had a nickel for every time a vigilante crashed through my window, I’d have two. Which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it’s happened twice.”

“Who was the first one?”

“Surprisingly? Signal. Dude got a migraine and crashed through like a pigeon versus a glass wall.”

“Damn, he didn’t mention that. You got pics?”

“Pay for my carpet and wall first, and then we talk blackmail negotiations after.”

“Deal- ow!”

“Stay still, dumbass!”

“average person eats 3 spiders a year” factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted