-1975-
james: snape will never have a love life.
remus: someone’s bound to find him…tolerable.
james: how about we place a bet?
remus: 5 galleons.
-1993-
remus: *takes one look at snape, and immediately runs out, looking up at the sky*
remus: COME BACK YOU ARSE, I OWE YOU 5 GALLEONS!
the marauders as the types of people you’d see on eid day! (eid at the prongs household)
wakes everyone up at 6am bc family is coming over: james.
is having the time of their life cooking in the kitchen or making all kinds of desserts: peter
spends HOURS getting ready, so they have to be woken up extra early: sirius and marlene.
gets dragged by their feet to go to eid prayers: sirius
“give me the fucking money” : remus and regulus.
hands out money in cute little envelopes: mary and lily.
uses a money shooter and enjoys watching the battle royale as everyone dives to the ground to collect as much money as possible: sirius and regulus // euphemia and fleamont.
steals all the money from the kids: dorcas.
plot: sirius is texting remus and james while he’s at a family gathering.
sirius: fuck me i hate it here.
remus: isn’t that lovely.
sirius: feeling h i g h k e y judged by some boomers for my band-tee.
james: well, you would’ve been judged whether you wore it or not.
sirius: BAHAHA FUCK-
remus: there’s this thing, idk if u know it, but it’s called the subtle art of not giving a fuck.
sirius: yeah no, i prefer to not give any fucks loudly and boldly.
remus, replying to himself: it’s very low key, i have it, and it saves me.
james: forget them, they’re probably reptiles anyways.
sirius: yeah, no, they’re too unsuccessful to be reptiles, but their dry skin is really backing up your point there prongsie.
sirius: OKAYGTGTHEYRESUMMONINGME.
sirius and remus texting:
sirius: i love you, stay safe! <33
remus: will do, i love you too abby. <3
remus: baby*
*sirius black is typing…*
remus: oh god, here we go again…
sirius black had way too much fun with his name.
making an entrance: “sirius black is sirius back!”
confused: “sirius black is siriusly blank…”
hungry: “sirius black wants a sirius snack.”
bout to throw hands: “sirius black will siriusly attack.”
under pressure: “sirius black will sirius crack.”
back from a dentist appointment gone well: “sirius black has no sirius plaque.”
bought a new bag: “sirius black has a new sirius sack.”
the list goes on…and it only gets weirder.
regulus: james, if you didn’t sleep last night then i’m very sorry, i was thinking about you.
james, distracted by a triangle shaped grape: …the illuminati have taken over the grape industry.
barty: your ex is waiting by the common room entrance, they’re begging to talk to you.
regulus: *applying nail polish*
regulus: too bad, i only do second coats not second chances.
plot: the slytherins are failing to get into the gryffindor common room to get sirius and james who just pulled another prank on them, while the two potter boys blast “insane in the brain” by cypress hill.
james: *dancing on a table* cops, come and try to snatch my crops.
sirius: *twerking by the portrait hole* these pigs wanna blow my house down.
the marauders are at a party.
sirius: *shit-faced drunk, dancing horribly on a table.*
remus: *sighing* love is blind.
james: *also shit-faced drunk, singing horribly on a makeshift stage.*
regulus: *facepalming* love is also deaf…tone-deaf.
sirius and regulus are eavesdropping on their parents while they’re discussing politics, and are texting each other whatever they hear.
sirius: did she just say that voldy’s going to enforce a marshmallow?
regulus: a martial law, you gormless git.
headcanon:
sirius black LOVES $uicideboy$ and listens to them religiously.
sirius also keeps a shrine for ruby and $crim right next to the shrine he made for himself.
a bunch of shitposts from a sirius black kinnie, what could possibly go wrong?anti-JKR, anti-dumbledore and anti-snape account18+
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