And Always, My Love

Well, I ended up writing a little something for myself for this prompt which has now spawned an entire fic... Please enjoy chapter 1, posted below! The rest of the fic will be up over the next week or so and can be found here on ao3.

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And Always, My Love

The first time Rook kissed Lucanis, it was unexpected. She’d put one hand on his cheek and leaned over, landing a sloppy kiss on his cheekbone, just below his eye. They were both drunk, as were Neve and Bellara. The four of them had been trading stories over a bottle of wine. One bottle turned into two, and two quickly progressed to three, and three… begot a kiss.

Lucanis hoped he wasn’t blushing. Bellara laughed and pointed, reiterating the obvious: Rook was very drunk, and Lucanis was very surprised. Neve glared daggers. Lucanis wasn’t entirely certain why. They’d flirted, sure, but nothing was spoken for at this point. Spite roared in his brain.

TELL. HER. SHE NEEDS. TO. KNOW.

Lucanis met Rook’s gaze, enraptured by her shining green eyes, and not for the first time. Some invisible force behind her gaze tugged at his breastbone, and he watched Rook’s eyes widen as he leaned in. Her lips parted, and she gasped softly, drawing his gaze downward. Mierda. He wanted to kiss her. Badly.

Lucanis’ eyes flicked back up to Rook’s and the intensity of her gaze struck him to stillness. Did she want to kiss him too? The way her gaze roved over him, searching and hungry, made him believe so.

Now. Tell her. NOW.

Lucanis opened his mouth, but in the same moment, the reason he could not tell her anything walked through the door.

“Drinking without me?” Davrin asked, his voice as smooth as silk and as deep as the ocean dared dwell. Rook shot up immediately, the spell between them shattering into a million pieces, and flittering off into nothingness like the end of a shooting star. It blazed hot, when you could see it, but it was intangible once the moment had passed.

She fluttered over to Davrin, her long curly hair bouncing with every step. Lucanis grimaced as his friend lifted Rook up, spinning her around before kissing her forehead once he’d placed her back on the ground. They were a good match. Lucanis pretended he was happy for them.

We could KILL him. Easy. POISON in soup.

No.

You COOK. You ASSASSINATE.

No!

What if there was. A CONTRACT.

“Oh, shut up…” Lucanis murmured with a sigh before rubbing his forehead.

“That’s rather rude,” Neve quipped. Lucanis raised his head, confused. Neve continued to glare daggers at him. “All Rook asked was if you wanted another drink.”

Lucanis flicked his gaze over to Rook. The concern in her eyes made her look suspiciously sober, but the way she wavered at Davrin’s side, prompting the other man to loop a steadying arm around her shoulders, betrayed her intoxication.

“My apologies, I wasn’t talking to you, Rook. Spite was…” Lucanis searched for the right words, not willing to allow his friends to be privy to Spite’s foolish suggestion. Finally, he settled on,  “…being rather loud.”

Rook grinned, an adorable, lopsided twist of her lips in her drunken state. “Well, maybe Spite needs another drink.”

YES.

“No,” Lucanis said firmly, and resisted another sigh. Resolutely ignoring Spite’s protests inside his head he continued, “On the contrary, I think Spite and I have had a bit too much to drink. I will take my leave.”

“Noooooo Lucaaaaanis,” Bellara whined drunkenly. “You can’t leave yet.”

Lucanis rose to his feet and took a second to let the world right itself before he stepped away from the chairs in the library. He called on all his discipline and dexterity to look less intoxicated than he felt and avoid tangling his legs on the table that sat between them, strewn with glasses and empty bottles of wine.

“I’m sorry, Bellara. I’ve had enough for one night.”

“Ooookay but just wait,” Bellara said cheerfully and shot up from her chair. She stumbled over to him, likely intending to give him a goodbye hug, but accidently launched herself into his side when she tripped on the low table he’d so painstakingly avoided. Lucanis caught her without too much trouble, but he staggered a bit, just barely managing to keep his feet under them both.

“Sorry, whoa-“ Bellara said, wobbling all over again the instant Lucanis righted her into a standing position. This time Davrin stepped forward, taking her other arm. She let out a peal of laughter and Rook’s infectious giggles joined Bellara’s, the humor of Bellara’s disequilibrium obviously enhanced by the alcohol bubbling through their veins. Rook’s laughter was a beautiful sound; Lucanis couldn’t help but stare. The way Rook’s whole face lit up with joy, her eyes scrunched into adorable crescents, cheeks round and rosy… Mierda. He couldn’t keep thinking these things.

“I should be going,” Lucanis said, leaving Bellara in Davrin’s capable hands. He bid his goodbyes and made a quick exit from the library, managing to stay upright without too much effort. He just had to make it to his quarters. The walk wasn’t long. This he could do. Spending time with Rook… especially Rook and Davrin… that was something he was going to need to work on.

TELL HER.

He couldn’t. It was better this way. Rook deserved better.

But. You CARE. About her.

That didn’t matter. He didn’t deserve Rook. He’d only entangle her in his mess.

WHAT. MESS.

Lucanis scoffed. The Crows. The Ossuary. The mess that was a demon inside his head.

But I CARE too. About Rook.

“It doesn’t matter,” Lucanis murmured to himself as much as to Spite. “She made her choice. And it was the right one. We… we are the wrong choice.”

LUCANIS IS. STUPID.

Lucanis rolled his eyes. “Whatever,” he muttered under his breath, staggering up the steps to the elevated courtyard. When he reached the top step, Lucanis sighed in relief, only to lose his footing instantly, his boot slipping on a particularly smooth stone.

Luckily, a pair of lithe but strong hands wrapped around his arm, saving him from a rather unfortunate fall onto the stone walkway.

“Careful darling.”

Lucanis sighed. “Neve.”

Neve looped her arm around his and helped him towards the dining hall at the far end of the courtyard, where his quarters lay. “We all had a bit too much to drink. Just wanted to make sure you made it back okay.”

“You didn’t have to do that,” Lucanis told her, shaking his head and then regretting it, as the world seemed to spin a little to the left.

“No, but I wanted to,” Neve replied, her voice light and hopeful. Lucanis frowned. This was a mess too. He’d started something flirty with Neve and he’d intended it to remain casual. It seemed she may want more than that.

“You deserve better, you know? She doesn’t get to demand your affections, not after she’s chosen someone else,” Neve said, turning up her nose as if the notion itself was distasteful to her. Lucanis and Spite both bristled, defending Rook immediately.

“She demands nothing.” He couldn’t tame the sharpness from his tongue, and it shamed him. While he did not deserve Rook, he had enough scraps of self-worth left to know how pathetic he must sound, defending her to Neve.

“Well then, how do you explain tonight?”

“I have… lingering feelings. That isn’t Rook’s fault.”

“Still,” Neve said, pausing outside of the dining hall before letting go of his arm. “Perhaps it’s time to find a new focus for your attentions.”

Lucanis’ frown deepened. He should have known this was coming. He’d never intended for anything serious between them, and he regretted if he’d given her the wrong idea. He tried to put her off.

“Look, Neve-“

“I’m not asking for you to fall in love with me, darling.” Neve interrupted. Slipping her fingers beneath his chin she caressed his jaw, drawing his eyes to hers. “But I think you could use a distraction.”

Lucanis raised an eyebrow, his apprehension fading as Neve presented him with a more familiar, easier option.

“A distraction?” He leaned in, coming nose to nose with Neve. Her brown eyes were half lidded as she stared at his lips. Her breath ghosted across his skin. It prickled in anticipation, and he waited, wondering what her next move would be.

After what seemed like an eternity, Neve spoke. “If you want to kiss me, you’d better hurry up.”

Without thinking, Lucanis crashed his lips against hers. Their kisses were rough and hungry, both desperate for a taste of the other. Lucanis wrapped one arm around her waist and the other he threaded into her hair, pulling at the soft brown strands, angling her mouth where he wished. She kissed him back fiercely, nipping his bottom lip and scrapping her fingernails pleasantly down the side of his neck. Pulling on her hair, he tipped her head back so he could kiss her neck. Rook’s skin was sof-

The hapless thought jarred him back to reality, and Lucanis pulled away abruptly.

LUCANIS. IS. STUPID.

Yes. Yes, he was.

“I-“ Neve started, looking rather flustered.

“Not tonight,” Lucanis cut her off, silencing any further questions with a shake of his head, and a thin lie. “I’m too drunk.”

Neve narrowed her eyes, obviously not entirely satisfied with his feeble excuse for such a sudden change in behavior. Her scrutiny was intense, but Lucanis was a Crow, and Caterina’s grandson. Learning to lie and resist interrogation had been both part of his training, and essential to escaping his grandmother’s wrath growing up. Silence came easily for him, drunk or not.

“Alright,” Neve said eventually, though the quirk of her lips told him she still retained her suspicions. “Rest well.”

Lucanis bid her farewell and staggered through the door of the dining hall, making his way to the pantry and promptly collapsing face down onto his bed.

What was he going to do with himself?

WHY. Are WE WRONG?

Lucanis sighed.

“We just are, Spite. We just are,” he mumbled into his pillow drunkenly, unwilling to delve any further into it. His mind was a mess, and not in the usual way. Lucanis squeezed his eyes shut tight. For the first time in a long time, he wanted to sleep. A brief reprieve from all this thinking… would be welcome.

As he drifted off, Lucanis murmured, “Don’t tell her while I’m sleeping. Please.”

He felt Spite slip towards unconsciousness with him for a change.

I WON’T BETRAY LUCANIS.

Lucanis was grateful. And then he slept.

Romance Prompt Questions:

✨ First Times ✨

To spark some positive fandom enthusiasm, I thought I'd try creating a ~fun little ask prompt~, so here goes!

Send an ask with "The first time..." and fill in the rest with whatever you like - then receive snippets, headcanons, or a mix of both!

This can be serious ("the first time character A confided something in character B" / "the first time character B thought about kissing character A" / "the first time they dealt with loss together") or entirely silly ("the first time character A heard character B snoring" / "the first time character A's uniform was horribly out of place in front of character B" / "the first time they laughed so hard they cried together").

I encourage all writers and non-writers alike to participate however they wish! This isn't about creating mesmerizing prose, but about sharing in each others' love of the Characters™.