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Nikto headcanons! Indulge me beloved ❤️❤️

BABY! ANYTHING FOR YOU! 🤍 I'll make them extra indulgent for youuuuu

принцесса - printsessa/princess

Nikto headcanons, strangers to lovers

He's basically feral when you first meet.

Barely talks unless his teammates, especially Krüger, somehow manage to make him engage in conversation with you.

When he finally does approach you willingly after a long while (and because his most trusted circle does seem to trust you), it's like someone else is speaking for him, and that's how you figure out that he suffers from DID.

He dissociates a lot, but you don't mind, and you get to know his many different alters.

One is downright mean, one is childish and almost playful, one is very sweet and introduces herself as 'mat'' (mother), and another one is so very clingy and charming that you sometimes don't know how to handle it.

Most times, Nikto doesn't know nor remember the interactions. He's not mentally present after all, but eventually, his alters confess to him that they're all drawn to you in their own ways.

Nikto realizes that you actually want to be around him, even though he sees himself as a monster; someone who isn't good enough for you.

One evening, he seeks you out, asking downright boldly: "принцесса, you do like me, da?"

When you confess that you do, in fact, like him a lot, that you care about him, flaws, scars, and all... he pushes you backward into your room, towering as he gazes at you with sharp blue eyes, like a shark ready to attack.

And when you're about ready to either beg for mercy or flee like a little rodent, he suddenly pulls his mask off for the first time; baring his face to you.

It's not as bad as you'd imagined it to be. Sure, he has lots of nasty scars and burn marks, but his nose is still there and so are his lips which means Krüger, the motherfucker, has lied to you with his silly horror stories about Nikto.

"You're not scared of me, принцесса."

You shake your head and it looks like his broad shoulders slump with a ragged sigh of relief.

Bold as ever, he steps closer until his arm can snake around your waist, and he tugs. His eyes flicker down to your lips and you nearly squeak in fear or excitement? Perhaps both.

"I will kiss you now, принцесса. Don't want any one of them to kiss you first, da?"

You know he's talking about his alters and you nod obediently, hands fisting into his black tac shirt tentatively as your head dips back to welcome his chapped lips.

Sometimes otherkinity is having the inexplicable urge to mark things as yours. Sometimes it’s scent marking, chewing, scratching, pissing.

Whatever it is, it’s mine and I need people to know it’s mine and not touch it. Do not touch my bed unless I let you, do not touch my stuff unless I let you, don’t even go in my room unless I say you can.

I will mark everything I swear. This whole house is mine now, get out, ask permission.

TW: VERY HEAVY VENTING, self-hate, body dysmorphia, abu$e, etc,

Getting this out because I feel so sick, I don’t expect anyone to read it or feel bad, that’s not the intention.

I’m a bad dog. Not in a peed in the carpet way, or a chewed up a remote way, but in an unlovable mutt, a dog nobody could ever want, way.

Im so stupid and desperate that I let myself get emotionally and physically abused because my boyfriend is the only one who’s ever seemed ok with me being the way I am, hell he even feeds into it and plays with me, and what else could I ask for? and if he’s gone than who else gets it? No one. At this point I deserve it because I let it happen to me like someone else is gonna fix it, but nobody else but me can get me out of this hell. We keep breaking up and then he always talks me back, I feel like my emotions aren’t even mine sometimes, but when I tell him how I feel it’s like… gross and I don’t even understand it, I feel cringe for feeling anything! Especially if it causes even the slightest bit of conflict. I just want everyone else to feel emotions for me. I’m so tired. Even my best friend made jokes about how silly it is that some people think their animals and I wanna throw myself under a car. I’d rather get my head shoved into the ground again or forced to give another blowjob than be alone again please. I can’t take being alone again. I spent so long trying to build up a version of me everyone could like, making friendships, and now it’s like everything is still falling apart anyways, even my relationships can’t be good. What’s the point of even trying anymore? I will always be rejected and used. Nothing I say means anything to anyone. I just make noise.

Even when it’s ok it all goes to shit. One day it’s good the next day I’m being told that my anxiety attacks are a burden, just like the rest of me, and he’s right. Everyone is right about what they say. I’m useless, unlovable, garbage. An animal to be put down. I shouldn’t even be alive!

I wasn’t made to be here. I wasn’t made to be a person, everyday since I was born has just been a fucking shithole, cause it’s all incorrect, the way I feel will never match how I look on the outside, and I will never be able to fully express how I feel on the inside, no matter how hard I try. I have no real place to be me. Why is this nightmare my reality, what did I do wrong in my life to deserve this?

I don’t belong. I don’t belong. I don’t belong.

I tried that thing where you're casually open about your identity, without ever actually trying to explain otherkinity, and it fucking worked??

Went out for lunch with a guy I've only met twice, and he asked about my bison pendant. I just said that if I were an animal I'd be a bison, I relate to their resilience and stubbornness, it's kinda like a spiritual thing.

Later in the day, he commented about my not wearing a jacket in December and I jokingly asked if he'd ever seen a bison get cold (and then said something about my ADHD meds making me overheat).

And wouldn't you know it, a while later he himself made a joke about me being a bison, completely unprompted.

Incredible. I don't know what I was afraid of, I should've tried this way sooner!!

My boyfriend talked me out of it, he's so supportive of me. Even though this is all weird and I acknowledge it. We both do. It's not usual to be dating a dog. But he just scitches my head and tells me l'm soooo good. That l've been a brave dog who survived a week. I did it. I can rest my paws.

Shouldn't do shrooms anymore because the body dysmorphia I get while on it is to much to bear, I whined for like 40 minutes trying to feel my paws and tail, and even when I could I felt so sick and deathly. I'm not a good dog right now. Need pets so so so bad... my body isn't right for anything..

Nikto Krueger versus memes (5/?)

based on actual thoughts I had at the club last night