Y'know, Whenever People Want To Talk About Why Aspec People 'count' As An Oppressed Identity, They Tend

Y'know, whenever people want to talk about why aspec people 'count' as an oppressed identity, they tend to go for the big stuff like corrective rape and conversion therapy. And like, we should absolutely talk about that stuff. Obviously those things are terrible and important and we need to raise awareness and deal with them.

But I feel like people often gloss over how… quietly traumatising it is to grow up being told that there is only one way to be happy— and that everybody who doesn't conform to that norm is secretly miserable and just doesn't know it— and then to gradually realise that, for reasons that you cannot help, that is never going to happen for you.

You're not going to find a prince/princess and ride off into the sunset. Or if you do, then it's not going to look exactly the way it does in fairytales. You're not going to get a 'normal' relationship, because you are not 'normal', and everybody and everything around you keeps telling you that that's bad.

You see films where characters are presented as being financially stable, genuinely passionate about their work and surrounded by friends and family, but then spend the rest of the plot realising that the real thing they needed was a (romantic and sexual) partner, to make them 'complete'.

You absorb the idea that any relationships you have with allo people will ultimately be unfulfilling on their side, and that this will be your fault (even if you discussed things with your partner beforehand and they decided that they were a-okay with having those sorts of boundaries in a relationship) unless you deliberately force yourself into situations that you aren't comfortable with, so as to make uo for your 'defects'.

You grow up feeling lowkey gaslighted because all the adults in your life (even in LGBT+ spaces. In fact especially in LGBT+ spaces) are insisting that it's totally normal to not be attracted to anybody at your age, and then you go to school and everybody keeps pressuring you to name somebody you're attracted to because they can't imagine not being attracted to anybody at your age.

And then you get older and realise that one day you're going to be expected to leave home, and that one day all your friends are going to be expected to put aside other relationships and 'settle down' with a primary partner and you don't know what you're going to do after that because you straight up don't have a roadmap for what a 'happy ending' looks like for someone like you.

(And the LGBT+ community is little help, because so many people in there are more than happy to tell you that you're not oppressed at all. That you're like this because you don't want to have sex, and/or you don't want to have any relationships, that your orientation is some sort of choice you made— like not eating bananas— rather than an intrinsic part of you that a lot of us have at some point tried to wish away.)

Even if you're grey or demi, and do experience those feelings, you still have to deal with the fact that you're not experiencing them the 'normal' way and that that's going to effect your relationships and your ability to find one in the first place.

If you're aiming for lifelong singlehood (which is valid af) or looking for a qpp, then you're going to have to spend the rest of your life either letting people make wrong assumptions about your situation (at best that your relationship is of a different nature than it actually is, at worst that the life you've chosen is really just a consolation prize because you 'failed' at finding a romantic/sexual partner) or pulling out a powerpoint and several webpages every time you want to explain it.

This what being aspec looks like for most people, and it is constantly minimised as being unimportant and not worth fighting against— even in aspec spaces— because we've all on some level absorbed the idea that oppression is only worth fighting against if it's big, and dramatic, and immediately obvious. That all the little incidents of suffering that we experience on a daily basis are not enough to be worth bothering about.

I mean, who gives a shit if you feel broken, inherently toxic as a partner, and like you're going to be denied happiness because of your orientation? Shouldn't we all just shut up and thank our lucky stars we don't have to deal with all the stuff some of the other letters in the acronym have to put up with (leaving aside the fact that there are many aspec people who identify with more than one letter)?

So you know what? If you're aspec and you relate to anything I've said above (or can think of other things relating your your aspec-ness that I haven't mentioned) then this is me telling you now that it's enough. Even if we got rid of all the big stuff (which we're unlikely to do any time soon because— Shock! Horror!— the big stuff is actually connected to all the small stuff) we would still be unable to consider our fight 'over' because what you are experiencing is not 'basically okay' and something we should just be expected to 'put up with'.

No matter what anybody tells you, we have the right to demand more from life than this.

More Posts from Spaceace0599 and Others

4 months ago
a post from the budsies company that says "Seeing the devastation of the LA fires has broken our hearts. We are a team of artists who specialize in creating custom stuffed animals, including recreating lost or old stuffies. We know nothing can replace the original, but we'd be honored to try and recreate the plushie, free of charge. Families, please email our team at support@budsies.com.

For anyone interested in helping donate plushies, please email BudsiesPals@Budsies.com"

The company budsies, which specializes in making custom stuffed animals and making duplicates of old or lost plushies, is currently offering to recreate the beloved stuffed animal of any kid who lost theirs in the LA wildfire, free of charge.

Their instagram post said to share this, so please spread this around so that families who've lost everything can receive just a little bit more hope in their lives 🥺

4 months ago
Via NYPost: Immigration And Customs Enforcement Is Preparing To Launch A “big F–king Operation”
Via NYPost: Immigration And Customs Enforcement Is Preparing To Launch A “big F–king Operation”
Via NYPost: Immigration And Customs Enforcement Is Preparing To Launch A “big F–king Operation”
Via NYPost: Immigration And Customs Enforcement Is Preparing To Launch A “big F–king Operation”
Via NYPost: Immigration And Customs Enforcement Is Preparing To Launch A “big F–king Operation”

via NYPost: Immigration and Customs Enforcement is preparing to launch a “big f–king operation” across sanctuary cities — including Chicago and New York — immediately after President-elect Donald Trump’s inauguration, multiple sources told The Post.

Starting Jan. 21, multi-day “ground operations” will be launched across cities that have served as safe havens for migrants because the local authorities do not cooperate with the federal government when it comes to immigration issues, sources said.

2 years ago

How to Handle Having TOO MUCH To Do

So let’s say you’re in the same boat I am (this is a running theme, have you noticed?) and you’ve just got, like, SO MUCH STUFF that HAS to get done YESTERDAY or you will DIE (or fail/get fired/mope). Everything needs to be done yesterday, you’re sick, and for whatever reason you are focusing on the least important stuff first. What to do!

Take a deep breath, because this is a boot camp in prioritization.

Make a 3 by 4 grid. Make it pretty big. The line above your top row goes like this: Due YESTERDAY - due TOMORROW - due LATER. Along the side, write: Takes 5 min - Takes 30 min - Takes hours - Takes DAYS.

Divide ALL your tasks into one of these squares, based on how much work you still have to do. A thank you note for a present you received two weeks ago? That takes 5 minutes and was due YESTERDAY. Put it in that square. A five page paper that’s due tomorrow? That takes an hour/hours, place it appropriately. Tomorrow’s speech you just need to rehearse? Half an hour, due TOMORROW. Do the same for ALL of your tasks

Your priority goes like this:

5 minutes due YESTERDAY

5 minutes due TOMORROW

Half-hour due YESTERDAY

Half-hour due TOMORROW

Hours due YESTERDAY

Hours due TOMORROW

5 minutes due LATER

Half-hour due LATER

Hours due LATER

DAYS due YESTERDAY

DAYS due TOMORROW

DAYS due LATER

At this point you just go down the list in each section. If something feels especially urgent, for whatever reason - a certain professor is hounding you, you’re especially worried about that speech, whatever - you can bump that up to the top of the entire list. However, going through the list like this is what I find most efficient.

Some people do like to save the 5 minute tasks for kind of a break between longer-running tasks. If that’s what you want to try, go for it! You’re the one studying here.

So that’s how to prioritize. Now, how to actually do shit? That’s where the 20/10 method comes in. It’s simple: do stuff like a stuff-doing FIEND for 20 minutes, then take a ten minute break and do whatever you want. Repeat ad infinitum. It’s how I’ve gotten through my to do list, concussed and everything.

You’ve got this. Get a drink and start - we can do our stuff together!


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4 months ago

official elon musk hate post reblog to hate like to hate reply to hate

3 years ago

This week’s readings (so SO many from Ectober - don’t think I got them all) :

felt it in my youth, feel it when i’m old by @ectolemonades

Surivial Game by @cartoongirl

Furthest From Myself by @wastefulreverie

Hunter AU by @floralflowerpower (now named Pendragon)

While you Still Can by @five-rivers

This exchange

He Just screams uncool

Scream by @murphy-kitt

Secrets, secrets and advice (this teacher’s vice) by AppleScented Lazers on FFN This week’s writings:

I got Out of Time’s 17th chapter up. Just waiting on 18 to be looked over and sent back for one last edit before posting. I’m both nervous and excited for that chapter. It’s been in the works for AGES. Otherwise - I worked on assignments this week… that counts as writing right?

3 years ago
Please Reblog, This Is So Important.

Please reblog, this is so important.

8 months ago
Exercises For All The Homies Who Want To Have A Long Career Drawing.
image
image

Exercises for all the homies who want to have a long career drawing.

The true problem with being an artist and drawing all day (as I wanted my whole life) is that human backs are not designed to hold that position, so it is very common for artists and designers to have really stiff shoulder blades, creating a chain of muscle strain towards the arm AND the back… and a lot of pain.

These are some physical exercises for artists and honestly anyone who works at a desk.

(all credit to my physiotherapist)


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2 years ago

i'm curious- i just saw the post mentioning fics, if ur comfortable sharing, what are some of ur favorite mha/bkdk fics you've read?- ps i absolutely love everything abt your art it's amazing 🫶

tysm !! All the recs I've shared are under the tag "fic recs" and I've made two posts so far here and here but I'm happy to share more !

once forgotten, twice removed by blueh - 42k complete - AFO from a universe where deku is a villain, brings over deku from a universe where he's a pro hero assuming he's a villain in that universe as well, things do not go well for AFO. Super great, it's pretty popualar but I wanted to include it cause it's a favourite of mine :)

dogs days by keyhimura - 14k complete - Bakugou gets hit with a quirk which slowly turns him more and more into a wolf, he has a soft spot for deku :') This one is bkdk and I love it a bunch ! (off topic but I always forget that the title is plural dogs not singular dog so it took me a hot second to find it)

mortality by jojojonah - 34k complete - Deku has a quirk that he didn't know about that's essentially an immortality quirk, he can come back to life after dying, but it takes a bit longer for his memories to come back. Little angsty and was fun to read !

call me izuku (orphan account) - 5k complete - Deku's hit with a quirk that makes it so nobody can remember who is is and he can't tell people who he is. He spends time at shikestu, short and sweet :')

ask for kacchan - deadwriter16 - 21k complete - quirkless!deku who's a big hero nerd and ph!bakugou. Kind of a new girl au, Deku's searching for an apartment and finds an ad looking for a fourth roommate, little does he know, they're all pro heroes. It's silly and great <3


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5 months ago

Demon Slayer/Wicked AU rambles

My sibling is obsessed with Wicked rn (aren’t we all, it’s fantastic) and I’ve been experiencing Demon Slayer brain rot for a while and we “accidentally” created a mini AU around it and it was the most fun I’ve had in a while and wanted to share my joy so HERE WE GO

If we’re going off of the sibling angst that is Elphaba and Nessa we gotta go with the Shinazugawa brothers. I said Sanemi is Elphaba so we could get some Sanegiyuu content and they disagreed but I’m the one with tumblr so my word is law. Sanemi is Elphaba and Genya is Nessa

Obviously this makes Giyuu Galinda. For both Sanegiyuu reasons and also so Giyuu could still be the one to start Dorothy!Tanjiro on his journey. Yes I know her whole thing is being Popular and Giyuu is not that but it’s an AU leave me alone

This makes Galinda’s two friends Shinobou and Sabito. No I will not be taking notes

Gyomei is Nanny Bear and raised Sanemi and Genya. Shout out to my sibling for this stroke of genius, this made us laugh for like five minutes straight

Tanjiro is, of course, Dorothy. There’s no other option

Inosuke is Toto. No followup required

Zenitsu is the Cowardly Lion, obviously

We had no idea who would be Boq until my best friend suggested Muichiro which is so perfect (“because Tanjiro helps him find his heart again” as my friend put it) AND he’s a solid match to be paired with Genya as Nessa

Wasn’t really sold on who should be Fiyero? Currently thinking Kanae since she kinda had a thing going on with Sanemi for a bit and we couldn’t think of anyone else

Muzon is the tornado that brought Dorothy to Oz cuz “he ruins everything” according to my sibling. Peak comedy there

We couldn’t really decide on the Wizard for sure beyond maybe Ubiyashki? I guess that makes the demons the animals, and even though demons are horribly tragic and COULD fit I’m not sure if I’m sold on it for many reasons (like how it wouldn’t really make sense for Sanemi to give up everything to fight for demons rights, which was part of why we weren’t sure if he should be Nessa or Elphaba. Plus Zenitsu isn’t a demon but he has to be the Lion lol) I’d suggest Muzon but the tornado comment won lol

We went two different routes with Dr. Dillamond and neither one follows “the demons are the animals” but my sibling suggested Rengokou with Akaza as the new history professor, while I said Masachika for the emotional tie for Elphaba!Sanemi

Obviously this is very rough and not meant to be taken seriously, and I know not everything fits with the characters we chose but we had SO much fun discussing it I wanted to share lol

If anyone has any other thoughts or wants to expand on this PLEASE share this was the most fun I’ve had in a WHILE


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2 years ago

Are you in the mood to perhaps compile fics with that specific dadzawa & dadmic situation? ♡

:O!! YES ALWAYS??? OMG OKAY

For anyone who hasn’t seen it this ask is in reference to this comic I made about one of my favorite types of bnha fanfic: Aizawa and Yamada having already adopted Shinsou and Eri, realize Bakugou might also need some help.

It’s not entirely clear in my comic lmao but I feel like if you know, you know. Anyway here are some of my favorites!

note: because of the subject matter, most if not all of these contain themes of physical/emotional abuse and neglect. Check the tags for details

pump the break by stolenbythewestwind

this one is first because this fic. oh this fic eviscerates me. I really like Shinsou's characterization here, and the attention given to how he adjusts to Bakugou's presence. Also it can be so hard to write Mitsuki in a way that feels real in a situation like this, I swear to god this fic this fic is the blueprint. If I ever shut up about pump the break I am dead and gone from this earth.

this family of ours by ghostoutofhisgrave

A one-shot from Mic's pov about how they got all their kids. This one also includes Todoroki and is so fucking sweet. I love how Eri is so happy to have new brothers and they immediately roll with it.

It's Called: Freefall by poddunkk

This one is like good parenting slowburn because Bakugou doesn't move in until deep into the fic but god I love this one. The way Bakugou and Shinsou go from awkward, annoyed, mutuals to brothers is fantastic. There's mention of Eri being introduced soon!

Okay moving away from my comic just a bit! Here some of my favs where their family is generally already established, but still feature Bakugou, Shinsou, and dadzawa/dadmic:

Our House, Our Lives. (Part four of Homemade Families) by Heroesloverofbooks

This is a short series of fics! Including Todoroki, but no Eri in these ones. I picked part four because this one is my favorite; I like the silly sibling banter and Bakugou's dramatic ass.

Silent Treatement (Part two of Learning to Juggle) by SmartiMart

Another fantastic series, it's different from most other I've read because this time it's Shinsou, Bakugou, and Midoriya in the house (No Eri). The situations that get Bakugou and Midoriya into the erasermic fam are also unique, it's not usually what I go for with them, but the characterization has me by the throat.

Special Note: I HIGHLY suggested reading part two first. The plot of Silent Treatement is Bakugou and Midoriya have a fight and no one else can figure out why. I won't spoil it, but there's this scene where Bakugou admits something and Aizawa has this oh shit moment that hits so much harder without the context from part one.

now by theghoulinyourattic

A one-shot that's on the shorter end but I adore the characterization here. He would fucking do that omfg.

Lavender Tears (Series) by dreamsoflovingness

Another series, fourteen parts and complete! Once more featuring Todoroki but not Eri. I love this one so much I can't pick a favorite. My favorite part of this series is seeing the boy's relationships develop over the course of it. Especially how the author writes Bakugou suddenly being someone's brother.

a mix of six (Series) by Argentina

I'm obsessed with this authors mind. Y'all not only is this series twenty-seven parts, it includes Todoroki and Eri! I love the episodic style of these and OUGH there is just something about these kids developing the instinct to protect one another that gets me. There's one where Eri puts glitter in their hair and the next day at school the three of them are bragging about how cool their little sister is and I fucking can't. I love it.

Bonus Round: Some fics that don't technically fit the prompt but I hold so dear to my heart.

baby steps. by nitroglycerin_and_paraffin

Included because it involves Aizawa getting Bakugou out of his house. I fucking love this one. The way the author slowly gives you more information about why Aizawa acts the way he does and the way he finds out about little tidbits of Class-A's relationship dynamics I'm soooo normal about it. Also I LOVE the back-and-forth dialogue I'm eating that shit up.

Best Jeanist Acquires A Son (Series) by Sif

OH THESE ONES. Bakugou gets out of his house but it's Jeanist that takes him in! I love how the author developed Bakugou and Jeanist and don't even get me started on the quirk meta they did for Bakugou it's the coolest shit ever.

That's my list, thank you so much for the ask :)


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spaceace0599 - Artemis
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