Me Every Day:

TW : rant/dump

I’m not fishing for anything, I just really needed to say this, and I’m not willing to put it on anyone I know. Please don’t read this if you’re unwell. I don’t want to add to anyone else’s struggle

I just needed to get off my chest,

This couple weeks have been… not good.

My grandma has been making sui/homi threats when she can’t get more pain meds, my grandpa is obsessed with conspiracy politics and won’t keep it to himself, my mom depends on me emotionally

My shelf came off the wall and broke my file box and shattered a glass frame all over the floor

I spilled soda so incredibly that it got on my carpet, walls, floor, the bottom of my bed (?), my printer, my extension cord, my yarn basket, and so many other places I keep finding

I ruined an entire load of clothes with chapstick, it will not come out, and my mom tossed them

My air purifier itself has started smelling like mold despite upkeep

My windowsill is covered in mold and my plaster is cake and even my carpenter uncle can’t figure out my Schrödinger studs

Because of all these things I’ve been having to fix or account for on top of my medical bills and car bills and insurance bills I can’t even quite make it paycheck to paycheck

I don’t have the time or money to take care of procedures I’m supposed to have done already

My doctor says I’m in the chronic pain of someone twice my age and that my job isn’t going to work for me in the long term and my job is trying to shove me out but I can’t find another job that won’t kill my mental health, physical health, or support me financially

Im just stuck,

I’m stuck.

Me: I am comfy with being called a girl since I have history with it and am used to being referred to she/her.

Also me: *internal gremlin cackling when smol child can’t figure out my gender*

So I watched the first episode of the training arc.

Thoughts:

Nezuko!

Tomioka is going to kill me.

(If Sanemi doesn’t kill him first)

Healer duo could go very good or very bad.

I want rice balls now.

Yea I feel like nai is in it for the drama and stubbornness, no matter how long. Like is it just me or is it implied that he just meandered barefoot from Julai/July to Jeneora Rock?

Interesting. I did always find nai’s cloak thing weird. I am not sure I wanted to know the possibility that he is wearing a sibling pelt. It does also turn into knives though? I think perhaps understanding the clothing may just be beyond me lol

Every answer I get to this question feeds me regretti spaghetti. 😭

I.. I don’t even know what I expected..? Discussion of mental health? Nai bashing? Something to help retain my sanity where that episode smashed it open?

Burning questions that have haunted me since watching Trigun Stampede:

-Does no one notice the difference between the pale stabby squid man and the fluorescent red golden retriever man?

-Is….. is the body suit attached? Is it not?

-what happened to Tesla after the crash?

-why does vash not know nai’s murderous employees by the time he’s like 150

-is no one going to acknowledge the incredibly invasive nature of what occurred in the last episode????

-what did nai do to vash’s gate at jeneora rock and why did he need diff tech in the last episode?

If anyone with more context or luck with research knows, or wants to theorize, feel free lol

Why worry about using slang from the newest generation? You have free will. Use slang from all generations as desired, coward.

Baby me with fiction: I know this story front to back. I could quote whole chapters to you. I know these characters well enough to have imaginary conversations with them. Any trivia you ask I can answer.

Baby me with nonfiction: Uuuuh it was talking about [topic] or something… there was a picture of a thing.

Something that always bothers me about the progressive removal of culture from the batfamily (other than the obvious) is that… if you don’t understand where Dick Grayson and his family come from, Robin makes no sense. Why would Batman, Mr. Greyscale camouflage, allow his partner and protege to dress up like a moving target? A traffic light? To understand, you have to acknowledge why he chose those colors, and what they mean to him and his family. That may have gotten lost over the years as the mantle was passed, but the original costume had meaning to a grieving child.

Writing when ur on the drug called exhaustion is a Time because you will be trying to write a normal or serious line like "As he walked away" and your brain interrupts you for its state mandated ad break to insert "As he waddled away, waddle waddle, and he waddled away waddle waddle waddle~"

There is something particularly nice about laying on warm pavement in the cool evening after a sunny day. You can look up at the clouds with the warmth at your back and the breeze on your face

To all my fellow verbal stimmers,

Y’all ever have to have the awkward convo with a new person like

Me: stimming

Person: what’d you say?

Me: ah… I was… just making random noise 😅