This Is Everybody On Deep Space Nine

Peak sexy in the future is wearing upholstery and there's nothing you can do about it

the Star Trek fandom always acts like either Riker or Kirk is the god of rizz in the Star Trek universe, and it's bullshit, when Quark exists right there.

he was literally pulling klingon widowers, cardassian enemies of state, trans ferengi, vulcan terrorists, amorphous he/they shape shifters. he constantly had men chasing after him too.

Kirk's womanizing ways were vastly overstated by people whose memories are clouded by age, and Riker's repertoire was the most generic humanoid hotties out there, whose personalities were basically omg i'd love to have sex with you do you like my skimpy outfit.

Quark was pulling much harder just by virtue of the fact that all of his pulls were people who had a good reason to not get involved with him at all, but couldn't resist in the end.

seriously. cardassian political scientist that hates him, ferocious klingon warrior who just wants to use him for political reasons, a trans ferengi who doesn't want to be outed, a Vulcan terrorist who REALLY shouldn't be helping him but does, and a cop.

he has that much rizz, mk?

trust me. I'm a scientist.

I have the qualitative data to back this up.

non sequitur ? uhhh ,i hope to be having a lot of seq uit her actually

Touch His Tit Tuesday DS9 edition

garak if he vlogged during the wire

elim 'Federation GMO pussy has got me acting unwise' garak

Area Man Struggles with Choice Between Basic Morality and Homosexual Desire Toward Worst Person Alive

ds9 episode concept: a high profile murder occurs while garak is busy taking some INCREDIBLY illegal drug he somehow procured. He is later questioned by odo and immediately becomes suspect number 1 because hes so incapacitated he cant come up with an alibi. He cannot say he was doing the incredibly illegal drug because he doesnt realise the federation would not publicly execute him over this. Bonus if he was doing suspicious shit the past few days to procure the orion syndicate disco dust that doomed his ass