Here's a website where Palestine GoFundMes are vetted and shared that you can send out to people. The url is gazafunds.com
Easy to use and simple. Just share the site whenever someone asks for GFMs for Palestine.
Omg,,, that shit with graves ,,,
imagine you, a recently divorced person and Graves is working your case or whatever and feelings get caught in between 😩😩
I kinda wanna write this up now 🗣️🗣️
No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.
Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as dubcon/noncon and other possible triggers. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.
This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.
Summary: Your boss needs a last-minute favour for the holidays.
Characters: Lloyd Hansen
Note: um I woke up to this in my head. Sorry.
As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me <3
Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!) Asking for more or putting ‘part 2?’ is not feedback.
Love you all. You are appreciated and your are worthy. Treat yourself with care. 💖
You honk your horn as another driver slowly veers toward the line. You’re not letting them in. If they can’t weave in, then they aren’t fast enough to leave the slow lane. You sigh and gesture at them as kindly as you can in that instant. You have enough going on.
Your phone starts to ring. Again. You tap the button on your steering wheel to answer. You would know who it is even without his custom ringtone. Your boss allows no space for breathing, even on a call.
“How far out are you, pixie?” Lloyd asks as you growl and lean on the gas pedal. You hate driving on the highway, especially at night, and the sky is steadily dimming.
“Close,” you assure him. “Next exit,” you flip your blinker on.
“Thank god. You got everything?”
Yeah, everything you forgot. You don’t give the dry retort aloud. You know better. Where your boss has no filter to be found, you find yourself often censoring yourself. As much for his ego as for others’. Arguing never gets you anywhere.
“I believe so--”
“You believe or you do?” He asks impatiently.
“Mr. Hansen, I got everything on the list,” you assure him. “All with a bow on top.”
“A life saver, pix, I swear,” he praises, but a compliment from him is rarely genuine, more transactional. You did him a favour so he’ll give you a treat.
“Alright, I need to get over, ramp’s coming up. So--”
“Yeah, yeah,” his ends rustles and you hear a muffled female voice, “I got shit going on too. You got the address, text me.”
He hangs up first. You can never be the first to end the call. He has to make the decisions. You just know how to guide him to the right one. You merge into the exit lane and follow the ramp away from the whirring stream of headlight. Finally.
You’re less than pleased to be within minutes of your destination. This isn’t how you envisioned your holiday. A last-minute itinerary change to fix yet another of Mr. Hansen’s oversights. It’s never a mistake, he’s just a man with so much going on that it slipped his radar. Another bandage for his ego.
The slower pace feeds your agitation. At least on the highway, you felt like you were getting somewhere. The lazy roll of the cars in the town tweaks at the nape of your neck. You just want to be in one place and that won’t happen even when you get to Mr. Hansen.
You’ll be lucky to have two hours of sleep before you have to catch your rebooked flight. Yep. You’ll play Santa and drop off your lot before hiding at the hotel long enough to dread the airport jungle. Then it’s off to your own familial obligations. Those are rarely enjoyable and being a day later than promised will hardly please your mother.
Your phone announces your arrival at the destination. The long drive of the over-sized suburban mansion is full. You park on the street and turn on the interior light. You get out and open the back seat. The whole medley of shiny paper and quaffed bows stares back at you.
You text Mr. Hansen and wait, huffing and puffing with impatience. Of course, you have to upheave your plans to meet his deadlines, but he’s taking his time. It’s not a surprise, not even a disappointment, you expected as much.
“Pixieee,” Lloyd drags out the last syllable, “there you are, pretty pixie.”
Pretty Pixie? He’s drunk or he’s going to ask for something else. You brace yourself as his shadow struts up the long driveway and passes beneath the cone cast by the tall street lights. Coloured lights glimmer over him from the eaves of the surrounding facades.
“Mr. Hansen, wrapped, labelled, everything you requested,” you gesture to the backseat.
“An angel. A true saviour, pixie,” he surprises you as he grabs your head, his palms pressing to your cheeks as he bends to kiss your forehead, “did I ever tell you you’re immaculate?”
“Mr. Hansen,” you gently pull his wrists until he drops his hands. You smell the alcohol radiating off of him.
“It’s the holiday, call me Lloyd, sweet cake,” he insists.
“Right,” you tut and turn to drag out the largest gift bag, “here, you better just take all this, I have to check-in--”
“About that,” he ignores the gift as you hold it out. “We’re just about to start dinner, you should pop in, have a bite.”
“I can’t, Mr. Hansen--”
“Of course you can,” he insists. You look up at him. His eyes gleam in the spectrum of lights shining from your car, the houses, and the tall poles. You sniff. He’s only tipsy, there’s still the hint of authoritarianism firmly implanted in his tone. “I told everyone you would.”
“Everyone?” You echo anxiously.
“The family,” he exclaims as if it should be obvious.
“Okay, I can come say hello but--” you wiggle the bag at him.
“Damn right you can,” he catches your hand and takes the bag. He drops it on the ground carelessly.
“Mr. Hansen, that’s fragile,” you say.
“Shhhh,” he grabs your hand and you curl and unfurl your fingers desperately, “Lloyd, remember?” He feels around in his pocket as he keeps you in his vice, “now, you just need to slip this on.”
He struggles to line up the ring with your finger as you squirm in confusion. What is he doing?
“Mr. Han--”
“Lloyd,” he growls, all humour trickling away. He squeezes until you whimper. “Look, I just need you to smile and bat those long lashes of yours, alright?”
“What’s going on?”
“As far as anyone knows, I proposed to you on Thanksgiving,” he says.
“Proposed?!” You nearly shriek.
He hushes you again and finally rams the ring down to your knuckle. “Look, pixie, mommy’s being a real pain in my ass so you just need to play along.”
“Mr.--”
“If I have to tell you one more time--”
“Lloyd,” you gulp, “please. I... this is... strange. What? Why? I have a flight in eight hours.”
“Cancel it,” he sneers. “Double time and a half for holiday overtime. See the family in the New Year.”
“What? That’s-- This is insane--”
“This is your job, honey,” he clings to your hand. “To do what I say or you can spend your January trawling the job boards.” He squeezes until the band digs into your flesh. “Now, I know Mr. Walker thinks you’re darling and he offered you a role last year but once I tell him about your little defiance issue, I don’t think he’ll be interested--”
“Huh?”
“I know a lot more than you think,” he grits. “Alright? So let’s start getting this shit inside. That’ll give you a chance to get yourself together.”
“Lloyd,” you gasp. “Why--”
“No more fucking question. Since when did you get so uppity,” he barks.
“Sir--”
“Ah, none of that, either,” he lets you go and waggles his finger in your face. “Relax. Have some eggnog when we get inside and take the edge off.”
“This can’t be happening,” you murmur.
“It’s fucking happening, alright?” He picks up the bag off the ground. “I keep you around ‘cause you’re quick on your feet, Pix, so let’s get to it.”
“Oh god,” you utter.
“Keep it to yourself,” he warns.
Your disbelief has you a bit dumb. You’re panicking. He knows you have an insurance policy with Walker and you have no doubt he’ll do all he can to spoil your future if you fuck around with his present. You’ve worked long enough for him to believe his threats, even when everything else is dubious.
You turn and grab several gifts from the backseat. You move out of his way and he gathers some more himself. He backs up and uses his knee to close the door. He nods you toward the house.
“Smile, act like you’re excited,” he commands.
You pass him and stare up at the blaze of holiday lights. The lawn is decorated with a Santa and sleigh, complete with all his reindeer. You make the march up the walk and towards the glowing windows that trim the front door.
Lloyd comes up next to you and kicks it, “open up.”
It isn’t long before obedience appears from the other side. You do a double take at the man who answers the door. He looks a lot like Lloyd but not. He doesn’t sport the same bristly stache and his hair neatly combed, the sides unshaved but tidy. He rolls his eyes.
“Was hoping you got lost in the snow,” the man scoffs.
“Shut up,” Lloyd shoulders through, “always a fucking prick, Hugh.”
The other man snarls, “don’t fucking call me that.”
“Aw, I’m sorry, baby boy,” Lloyd puts the gifts on the bench against the wall, under the large mirror with an elaborate frame. “Why don’t you go suck on mommy’s teat?”
“You’re disgusting,” the other man, Hugh, hisses.
“Speak for yourself. We’re the OnlyFans thot? She not joining us?”
“Oh, fuck you.”
“Fuck you, fuck me, we already did this, remember?” Lloyd faces him.
“And who’s this slut?” The man tosses you a sharp glare.
“Woah, man, that’s my future wife,” Lloyd lies so easily it startles you. He sounds almost genuine and you’ve never heard him sound like that. “Not a slut, so keep your eyes and your hands to yourself.”
“Huh, I didn’t believe it,” the man puts his hand on his hip as he looks you up and down, “she’s tiny.”
You narrow your eyes, speechless as they talk about you like a new lamp.
“Ransom,” Lloyd gestures to him derisively, “Pixie. Now you’ve met so you can skedaddle back to the liquor cabinet.”
The man, Ransom, snickers, “good luck, sweetheart,” he scoffs. “If you need a drink, just look for me. You probably will. At least for the next forty years.”
He struts off through the archway behind him and you look at Lloyd. He takes the armful of gifts from you and grumbles. He stops and crosses his arms.
“Well, get your boots off. Mom will kill you if you’re tracking salt all over her freshly polished floors,” he shakes his head. “And a bit of advice, stay away from my cousin. Ransom’s a fucking pest.”
“Right, sir.”
He tilts his head and you show your palms, “Lloyd.”
“Good girl,” he says and slips free of his loafers. “Now, you’re going to have to meet my parents before anyone else or I won’t hear the end of it. I’ve already got an earful. I know I shoulda booked that resort...”
You unzip your boots and set them aside on the rack. You stand and he beckons you past the open archway and down the hallway. You take in the decor; gold on beige on ivory. It’s all very luxurious.
He pushes through a white birch door and warmth enshrines you along with the smell of turkey. There’s a clattering beneath a shrill voice snapping out orders, “oh, not mashed, whipped!”
A tall blonde woman crosses her arms as she hovers like a vulture over the aproned staff crowded around the large marble island. Lloyd grabs your hand and drags you after him. Your socks slip on the tile as dread coils up your limbs.
“Mom, she’s here,” he announces as he gets close to her.
“Ugh, about time, they already set the table and I was dreading the empty plate,” she slithers. She turns her chin down to see you, “Oh, look at her. She’s so... petite.” She levels her hand with the top of your head, “much different than I envisioned.”
You look at Lloyd as he pushes his shoulders back. You’ve never heard anyone talk to him like that and you’ve never seen him so uptight. You turn your attention back to the woman.
“Hello, Mrs. Hansen, it’s nice to meet you,” you offer your hand.
She considers it then grabs it, turning the ring up. You examine the jewel as she does the same, your first glimpse at the thing. She harrumphs, “that’s the ring?”
“Mom,” Lloyd utters.
“Mm, very well. Dear, you may call me Gwenyth, not Mrs. Hansen,” she lets you go. “Now, dear son, out of my way. I’m trying to get dinner done.”
Lloyd stares at her, almost expectantly, the takes your hand again and leads you away. He pulls you back through the door. You don’t dare say a word. He leads you away from the kitchen and the wall of voices buzzing from the front room. He guides you through the archway opposite and around to another door.
He knocks and there’s a lull as you wait. He taps again. There’s coughing from the other side. “What do you want?”
“Just me, Dad,” Lloyd answers.
“Ugh, get in here then,” the timbre calls back.
Lloyd twists the knob and urges you in ahead of him. The smell of cigar smoke blows in with the cold wind. A gray-haired man puffs by the window, his efforts to puff through the opening sabotaged by the wintry gusts.
“Close the door. I don’t need the banshee sniffing me out,” he growls.
“Sure,” Lloyd shuts the door. “Dad, uh, this is her. The woman I told you about. My fiance.”
“Took you long enough,” the man sneers. You flinch and his grey eyes soften, “him, I mean. Forty-three years--”
“Dad,” Lloyd rasps.
“Well,” his father looks you over, “she’s young. Bit small...”
You do your best not to let your annoyance show. So you’re a little shorter than average.
“William,” he introduces himself, “and you are?”
“Pixie,” Lloyd answers for you.
“Didn’t ask you, boy,” William rebukes and keeps his eyes on you. “You smoke?”
You mull his question and sigh, “never tried it but I guess it’s never too late to start.”
William snorts, “truer words.” He puffs, “I don’t recommend it. Horrible habit.” He tamps out the stogie in a copper tray. “Well then, is the food ready, or did you just come to show me your woman?”
Lloyd stiffens and touches your lower back, “guess I just came to do that.” He mutters, “come on, let’s go get something to drink.” He turns and opens the door.
“Don’t let the smoke out,” William snips as you spin around.
I am Hamsa Mohammad, a 24 years old Engineer, I just graduated when the war occurred ! My mother and I were very lucky and escaped 5 Months ago .. but we left our hearts in Gaza! We didn't mean to leave them behind .. we feel guilty every single day that we're safe while they're not ! We tried everything but couldn't collect the funds, my mother is a single mother and we are barely managing to cover our expenses and sending them as much as we can to help them survive in Gaza . Until a friend I met here in Cairo, told me that hopefully you will help us ! 🙏🙏🙏 Help Me Rescue my Family of 4 from Gaza : • MY 83 years old DISABLED GRANDMOTHER (ستي فوزية) right before this war she suffered from a broken pelvis and a broken left hand, and she cannot walk or even go to the bathroom. She also suffers from severe heart muscle weakness and needs many medications, diapers and a urinary catheter ,they can't even find or afford proper drugs and painkillers , everything is extremely expensive PLEASE WE NEED TO GET HER OUT ASAP !! • MY SISTER AND HER FAMILY - Lamis and her husband Malik (29 and 32 years old) They're both sick and suffer from Hepatitis type A.
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Blurb: You were once the best female pilot at Top Gun. That was until a mission ended very badly. Now, 3 years later, you're somewhat healed and dating a man who takes advantage of your trauma. Now, you work at Hard Deck, the closest you could allow yourself to Top Gun, when your old friends come back... including a new guy you don't know; and to say he's intrigued by you is an understatement. But when your boyfriend decides to lay hands on you in front of him and your friends, all hell breaks loose.
Contents: Domestic Abuse, Swearing, bar fight, some fluff(??)
(Title pending! Let me know if you have suggestions!)
Word count: 3,160
I hope you all enjoy! I'll try to update it as much as I can.
You never thought you would step foot in Hard Deck after everything that happened two years ago, never mind work there. It was oddly comforting and your therapist said it could help with the trauma you endured. So when Penny gave you a job as a bartender and server, you jumped at the opportunity.
Anything to be close to something you once loved.
You’re in the middle of cleaning out the dirty dishes bin when you hear the creaking of someone walking into the bar.
“We’re closed,” you say. “Come back at 8.”
“Oh, I’m not here for a drink,” a man’s voice says. “I’m here to see Penny. Is she in?”
You turn toward the voice to see a man in a leather jacket with multiple patches usually worn by naval aviators. His dark hair is perfectly styled and when he takes off a pair of aviator glasses, he exposes his hazel eyes.
“You must be Pete,” you said with a smile. “She told me you’d be coming around. She’s in the her office if you wanna go back there.”
He nods and makes his way toward the back of the bar. He stops at the entrance before turning to face you with a soft smile. “I’m glad you’re back, Y/L/N.”
Startled, you ask, “How do you know my name?”
“I work at Top Gun. I’ve heard stories and seen your pictures all over the place.” Pete smiles before turning serious and adding, “I really am glad you’re back. Admiral Simpson told me a lot of great things when he was your instructor.”
You take a deep but shaky breath before nodding, lips pulled tight before you say, “Thank you.”
You eye his jacket to see his rank and frown. “Captain?”
“Yeah, Captain.” Pete nods. When your brow lifts, he adds, “It’s a long story.”
“I’ll look forward to hearing it,” you smile.
“I have a new class starting up today, maybe you’ll see some of my guys,” he says. “You may see some familiar faces.”
And with that, Pete walks into Penny’s office, leaving you reeling and wondering who you’ll see later.
* * *
Later that night, Hard Deck is packed with Naval Aviators and civilians. It’s loud, chaotic, and joyful for the most part. People are playing pool, throwing darts, and having a great time getting drunk.
It reminds you of the good old days, back when you weren’t traumatized and living with an abusive man.
You’ve just finished putting a couple of beers in front of a group of civilians when you hear someone call your name.
“Y/N!”
You turn just in time to see Bradley “Rooster” Bradshaw, smiling ear to ear with his signature mustache sitting on his top lip.
“Rooster!” You exclaim. “I can’t believe you’re here!”
“Yeah, I’ve been assigned here for the next couple of months, some sort of mission. You know how that is,” he drawls, smiling to himself. He looks you up and down before saying, “You look good, y/n.”
You’re wearing a simple black, V-neck shirt with a pair of jeans and Converse. The compliment makes you smile and wave his comment off. “I’m sure you tell all the girls that.”
“Nope,” he smiles. “Just you.”
“So what’re you having, and how many?” you ask.
“I’ll have seven of your lovely beers,” he chuckles. “You should come over to the pool tables, Phoenix would love to see you.”
“My girl is here?” You ask excitedly.
“Of course. I’ll send her over for the next round,” Rooster says, watching as you expertly open all six of the beers quickly. “What time are you off?”
You check your AppleWatch before saying, “In about two hours.”
“Come meet us over there when you’re off,” Rooster smiles, pointing at the pool table across the way. “And Y/N, I’m glad you’re back in some way. We’ve missed you.”
“Thanks, Roo. I guess I’ve missed you.”
You watch as he walks off, noting the people he approaches. Phoenix practically breaks her neck looking in your direction, Coyote, Fanboy, Payback, and Bob smile and wave; and there’s another guy there you don’t recognize. He has sandy blonde hair, tanned skin, and an award-winning smile. From the bar, you can see his green eyes sliding over your body, checking you out. You cross your arms over your chest and cock a brow in question. When he waves at you with a cocky grin, you have to fight a smile from forming on your face.
It was cute but you’re taken.
Unfortunately.
You’ve been dating Nick Abernathy for the past year or two and while it was very fun and loving in the beginning, now you can’t stand to look him in the eye.
Not after what happened the last time you were at Top Gun. And especially not after how he reacted and treated you everyday after.
Speaking of the devil, you hear your boyfriend, call out your name to the left. “Y/N!”
You turn to see Nick, the man you once loved so much, smiling down at you. He’s all blonde hair and dark brown eyes, broad shouldered, and muscules; a naval pilot.
Your type. Again, unfortunately.
“What’s my favortie lady doing looking at those aviators?” he asks. To the untrained ear, it sounds like he’s being playful. But you know the truth, and you know you’ll hear–and feel–it later.
“Just some old buddies of mine,” you tell him.
“Right,” he says, eyes narrowing. He moves a hand, reaching out to grip your wrist. “I’ll be waiting to take you home after your shift.”
“You don’t have to do that,” you tell him, smiling sweetly to hide the growing dread in your chest.
“What kind of a man would I be if I didn’t drive my girlfriend home?” Nick seethes, looking beyond you. “Besides, I don’t like the way those aviators are looking at you.”
You turn your head toward where you know Rooster and the rest of the aviator group watch the interaction. Their faces are all hard, ready to defend at your ‘okay’. You send them a small wave and reassuring smile before turning back to Nick who is now practically red in anger.
“They’re just friends,” You tell him, fear begins to prickle all over your body. “I met them when I was at Top Gun.”
Before Nick can say anything, Penny comes into view, wrapping an arm around your shoulders. “Hey, can you stay another couple of hours? Pete wants to take me out and I can’t close early tonight.”
Relief fills you immediately when you reply, “Yeah, I can stay until closing.”
“Good,” Penny smiles. Then, as if seeing Nick for the first time, says to him, “Don’t worry about picking her up. I saw her drive here.”
Nick’s jaw clentches before he smiles, drops your arm, and responds, “Oh, I must’ve gotten confused.”
He turns to you before saying, “I’ll see you at home.”
Penny stays by your side until Nick finally leaves before turning you to face her and saying, “Go clock out. I’ll take it from here.”
“I thought you were–”
“I told him that so he would leave you alone,” Penny states, rubbing your shoulder. “Go catch up with Rooster and the gang. Just stay until closing so I can follow you home.”
“Thanks, Penny.”
You turn to leave, smiling to yourself and looking at the ground, when you feel someone’s eyes on you again. You glance in the direction of where Rooster and the rest of them are to find the green-eyed aviator that was checking you out before, staring.
Creep.
You clock out before grabbing a beer from Penny and making your way toward the group.
“Hey!” Phoenix exclaims at the sight of you walking closer. Then, pulling you into a bear hug, says, “Come here, Bullseye! I’ve missed you.”
“I’ve missed you too, Nat.” You smile, smoothing her hair when she pulls away.
“Bullseye?” the green-eyed aviator asks, Texan accent drawling and sending shivers down your spine.
“You’re looking at the most badass female aviator I’ve ever met,” Phoenix tells him. “The best at shooting too.”
“Is that why your call-sign is Bullseye?” he asks you.
You square your shoulders before smirking and replying, “Yes.”
“I’ll spoil it for you,” Rooster laughs. “She’s terrible at darts.”
“First of all, I was drunk!” you exclaim with a laugh. “I would’ve gotten that bullseye if you hadn’t bumped into me!”
“Mhmm, blame the alcohol,” Rooster teases.
“So, Y/N, who was that guy you were talking to?” Coyote asks.
“Yeah, didn’t look like a good conversation,” Bob adds.
“Um, my boyfriend, Nick,” you respond, feeling Green Eyes stare at you. “Soon-to-be ex.”
“Why soon-to-be?” Fanbooy asks.
“Just,” you trail off. “We fell apart.”
“Didn’t look that way from our angle,” Green Eyes mutters.
“I’m sorry,” You say, turning toward him. “Who are you?”
Green Eyes grins before outstretching a hand and saying, “Jake Seresin, Hangman. You can choose what you call me.”
“Hangman?” you ask, quirking a brow. “Like the game?”
“The one and only,” he responds coyly.
“You’re looking at the only naval aviator with one confirmed air-to-air kill,” Phoenix tells you. “He’s also a dickhead.”
“Oh, stop. You’re being too sweet,” Hangman grins. He turns toward the bar and frowns. “Isn’t that your soon-to-be ex?”
Your spine stiffens. You don’t have to turn to know that Nick is standing at the bar, eyeing you from one of the barstools. Your eyes widen when you see him throw back a shot of what you know is whiskey. He turns aggressive when he drinks so this should be fun.
“You okay there, Y/L/N?” Phoenix asks.
“I have to go,” You say, starting to walk toward him. However, you feel a hand on your arm and turn to see Rooster looking down at you, concern written all over his face.
“You’re not going over there alone,” he tells you. Turning to the group, he tells them, “We’re with her, I don’t like the way he grabbed her the last time he was in here.”
The group give affirming nods, all except Hangman.
“I’ve got this,” you tell Rooster. “He’s harmless.”
You knew it was a lie as soon as it left your lips and so did Rooster. His dark brown eyes narrow on you before he takes a swig of his beer and says, “We’ll be close by.”
You curtly nod before cracking your neck and handing Phoenix your beer. So much for relaxing.
You make the short walk to where Nick sits at the bar, feeling Penny’s eyes half on you and on another customer. Behind, you can feel the gaze of your friends as they watch you stand before Nick.
“What’re you doing?” You ask.
“I was about to ask the same thing,” he says. “See, I called the Hard Deck line and they told me you had clocked out. But I remember Penny telling me that you were staying until closing.”
“Nick–”
“Don’t,” he orders. “We’re going home. Now.”
“I don’t think so,” You boldly announce.
You’re just as surprised as Nick by the looks of it, so when he aggressively grabs your jaw and brings you close, you lock up completely.
“That wasn’t a request, Y/N,” Nick tells you darkly. His face is hard, you glance down at his hand by his hips and see that it’s clenched tightly.
“Nick,” You start. “Let’s just go. Let’s not do this here.”
“Why not? You don't want your buddies to see how much of a cunt you are?” he spits. “Let them see what happens when you try to act like you’re single.”
“You’re hurting me,” You softly say. Nick scoffs before frowning at something behind you.
Not something, but a couple of somethings.
“Let her go,” you hear Hangman say. His Texan charm all the way off and threatening.
“This has nothing of concern to you,” Nick spits.
“How about you let her go, and we won’t beat the shit out of you,” Phoenix says, her hand on your lower back in comfort.
Nick obeys, pushing you to the left and into the bar top harshly before taking a few steps toward Phoenix. You turn, watching as Phoenix stands her ground, not flinching when Nick tries too scare her by flinching forward. Rooster comes between the two of them, almost touching Nick’s nose with his own. The bar falls silent, all eyes on the interaction.
“Roos,” You start. “It’s fine. I’ll go home with him.”
“No,” Rooster says to you, eyes glued on Nick. “You’re staying with Phoenix until he leaves your apartment.”
“Rooster, I can–”
“That wasn’t a request, Y/n,” he booms. To Nick, he says, “Here’s whats gonna happen. You’re gonna leave and start packing your shit. When she comes home tomorrow, and we’ll be there to confirm, you’ll be out of there and her life for god. Got it?”
Nick smiles before tapping Rooster’s chest, hard. “So you were the one she used to fuck when she was an aviator. Tell me, Rooster, do you think she’ll open her pretty legs for you again?”
Rooster only smiles back before turning to his left where Fanboy and Coyote stand near you. “Get Y/N to the pool tables.”
Before they can grab you, Nick reaches out and squeezes your wrist tight before pulling you close to him. “You’ll have to peel her off me.”
“Let her go, I’ve called the police to remove you,” Penny says from behind the bar. “Your Captain won’t be happy to receive a call from jail.”
Nick clenches his jaw before slowly letting your wrist go and pushing you an arms length away. Before you have time to run into Coyote’s arms, Nick’s fist is flying toward your face in slow motion. When it finally makes contact with your cheek, you stumble, falling into someone’s arms and being dragged back before all hell breaks loose.
The bar is filled with shouting and the sound of glass shattering. And yet, all you can focus on is the way Rooster, Coyote, and Payback block Nick from rushing toward you. You’re so engrained on the commotion before you, you don’t hear when Hangman calls out your name.
Jake was a lot of things, but a hero was not on his roster. As soon as he saw Nick hit you, he went into full-on hero mode, pulling you into him and rushing you both to the pool tables. The look of shock paints your face as he watches you stare at the commotion before you.
I’m in deep shit if she wants to go over there because I’m not letting her out of my arms.
“Hey,” Hangman soothes. “Y/N, was it?”
You snap your head toward him and he has to fight to keep from sucking in a breath. Up close, you were gorgeous, even with that shiner growing on your left eye.
“Are you okay?” he asks.
“I’m fine,” You say, realizing who you’re sitting on and then standing from his lap. “I have to get over there.”
Hangman knew you’d say that so he stands with you, and shakes his head. “No, I don’t think Rooster would like that very much.”
“Well, it’s a good thing Rooster isn’t here,” You tease before breaking for a sprint. Only, you don’t go far because Hangman has his arms around your waist in seconds.
“You’re a slippery one aren’t you?”
“I just want to get Nick out of here,” You whisper.
Hangman searches your eyes, sensing every ounce of truth radiating from them. Matching you, he whispers, “Rooster’s got it handled.”
“Are you okay, Y/N?” You both hear Rooster say it but you don’t dare turn your heads toward him. Hangman’s eyes search yours again, wanting you to say something.
“I can take you to my apartment if you’d like,” Phoenix says to you.
You finally turn away from Hangman’s intense gaze and push away lightly. “Yeah, I think that would be best.”
“Penny said to leave your car here by the way,” Bob says, looking between you and Hangman.
“Sounds good,” you respond, turning to walk away with Natasha, arms linked. Before you both completely walk out of Hard Deck, you turn around to see Jake already staring with longing eyes.
Something about it makes you shiver and pull Nat closer.
* * *
Jake watches as you turn back around and smile at something Phoenix said, wondering what it was that made you smile. He turns to Rooster, who’s givinghim the most sly grin he’d ever seen.
“You like, Y/N,” Rooster states.
“You’re not wrong,” he admits. “She seems so familiar. Have I met her before this?”
“You’ve probably seen her picture all over Top Gun,” Coyote tells him.
“Wait where?”
“Oh, you know, the main entrance,” Bob says. “Literally in the classrooms… do you not pay attention to the walls?”
“She’s been through a lot,” Fanboy mutters before taking a sip of his beer.
“What do you mean by that?” Hangman asks. When he sees the others give warning looks, he adds, “What happened?”
Rooster sighs before taking a swig of his beer. “You remember that aviator that went missing a few years back?”
“The one they found half dead?” Jake asks. “Yeah?”
“That was Bullseye,” Bob quietly tells him.
“She was–” Jake had to stop himself from speaking. Anger and sadness filled is chest at the thought of what may or may not have happened to you.
“Yeah man,” Payback says, clapping Jake’s shoulder. “That anger you feel right now? That was us when we found out it was her.”
“She’s never told us what happened, not even Nat.” Rooster tells them. “It’s like she just shut that out. What we do know is that she never stepped foot on a tarmac ever again.”
“She couldn’t bear to sit in the box again either,” Coyote adds. “She had a full panic attack as soon as the glass went down. Rooster here had to carry her out.”
Rooster nods. “So whatever you’re thinking of doing with her, don’t.”
At that, Jake recoiled and frowned. “What makes you think I wanted to–”
“C’mon, Jake. I saw the way you look at her when she and Phoenix walked out,” Rooster drawls. “Y/N is the closest thing I have to a sister, so just please. If you do try to get with her, don’t. And if you manage to actually succeed, don’t push her. She’s strong but she can only take so much.”
Jake only nods.
His mind is swirling with questions he’s too afraid to ask.
What happened to you that made you so terrified to be in the box? Why were you with that asshole if you had so much trauma? Was Nick just a coping mechanism of sorts?
When was he going to see you again? And why does the though of seeing you again make his heart warm?
Hangman didn't know the answers, but he damn sure wanted to find out.
Ugh I need some good fic recs of Bucky being winter soldier PLEASE!!! I am BEGGING 😭
Please do more for the Rooster concept where the reader has a daughter! Step!dad Rooster x reader is such a great one.
Alright here we go. Another series. But honestly down bad for this one. Only fluff ahead. Based off this concept
***~***~***~
“There’s no way a bird did this—“ You huffed as you practically hung half your body over into Jake Seresins Super Hornet right engine bay. This was the last thing you wanted to be looking at at three thirty in the afternoon. “You idiot—!” Shaking your head in disbelief as you pulled feathers from the rotors. Watching as they fell from your grapes, floating down to where Jake stood below you.
“Well it’s not like I could really control it now could I?” Jake groaned in response to your dismay as he stood holding the bottom of the ladder for you. He’d been able to manage a controlled landing with one engine. Most pilots couldn’t even imagine having to do that on their best day, but Hangman? He remained as calm and as level headed as he could. “Reckon you can fix her up?”
“I mean I’ll give it my best shot, but I’m no miracle worker.” Climbing down the ladder a little before you jumped to the ground with a soft thud. Dusting the oil and gunk your gloves had collected on to your technician suit before pulling them off and pocketing them. “I’d say about two, three days tops she’ll be out of action though—I dunno if I’ll need to order parts—“
“What can you do overnight?” Your eyes grew a little wider as you crossed your arms over your chest. Wondering just where the hell on god's green earth Jake Hangman Seresin had found the audacity to come into your workshop and demand you pull overtime just for him. “Please? come on it’s my baby—“
“Jake I gotta pick my daughter up this afternoon—“ You groaned in defiance. “How’s it fair you get to knock off early after wrecking a multi million-dollar fighter jet and I’ve gotta stay back and fix your mess?” You had known Jake pretty much your entire life. He was like a brother, well– he was more than a brother considering your actual brothers hadn’t spoken to you since you were sixteen.
“All I asked Fe, is what you could do for me overnight.” Hangman smirked as he packed away the workshop ladder for you. “What can you do for me this afternoon at least?” It was almost comical just how much he really needed you from time to time. If you couldn't fix his F-18, he’d be grounded till someone else could figure it out.
“I can pick the feathers from the engine bay and clean out your intake but even that’s gonna take me like two, two and a half hours considering you missed your last service.” You said it with the deadest of deadpans you could give the blonde who had taxied into your workshop just as you were getting ready to shut up shop for the day. The old hangar had been turned into a workshop for the F-18’s on site in Miramar. “I might even be able to fix the combustion chamber—but I’ll need you to pick up Odette from after school care.”
“Yeah, I can't do that either–” Jake knew what would happen next, it had happened too many times for him to not be able to expect it. An open hand came his way, but he grabbed your wrist with just enough time to spare before it connected with his chest. “I have a date! I can't!”
“Then I can’t fix your dumb plane!” You counted as you ripped your wrist from Jake's grasp. “I have to pick my daughter up, Hangman– I can't just leave her there!”
“Bradshaw can pick her up!” It was a suggestion you couldn't even believe Jake was submitting into the conversation. “He’d be so down for that.”
“I am not asking Rooster to pick my daughter up from daycare.” You were quick to dismiss the idea from whatever reality Jake was trying to conjure up. He knew you and Bradley had a thing. Everyone did. But he also knew you were too stubborn for your own good. “Don't do this to me, Jake it's not fair, you know better than anyone Dot gets attached to people and if I–”
“If you let Bradshaw pick her up just this once.'' Jake reached out to hold your shoulders tenderly, shaking you gently as he smirked in front of your face. He knew exactly what he was doing. “The world will not stop spinning Fe.” Jake stood there for a moment with his hands still on your shoulders before he let go. Sauntering over to your workshop desk in search of your phone. He’d known for a while now just how down bad Rooster really was for you and if anyone was good enough for you it was Bradley ‘family means everything to me’ Bradshaw. “Call him, just see what he says.”
“What if he's got plans?” Jake caught the sudden nervousness coming through in your questioning before you had even noticed your exterior had changed. Dropping the independent single parent act you tried your best to display more often than not. But even you had to admit from time to time it took a village to raise a child, and you were certainly no tribe of your own. “What if he just doesn't want to?” Jake just raised a brow in response. See, it wasn’t that you didn't want to ask, it was that you were afraid of the answer.
With Jake it was a given–he had been there since the day Dot was born. He was her uncle, her godfather, her babysitter and best friend. Rooster? Well, he didn't sign up to be a father to another man's child just because he thought you were cute. You didn't want to push that narrative on him either.
“If Bradshaw generally can't, I will call and cancel my date.” Jake held your phone out to you, watching as you took it with hesitation and reluctancy. “But you have to call and ask him first.” If looks could kill Jake Seresin would be a dead man. He’d backed you into a corner you couldn't get out of. But for all it was worth, he watched as you unlocked your phone, stepping away as you held the phone up to your ear, biting your bottom lip as not one, not two, but three rings rang out against your eardrum before.
“Hey Fe, what's going on?” Oh if you could physically melt into a puddle at the sound of someone's voice, Badley would have that effect on you. Jake swore he saw your eyes light up as you turned to face him again. Only now instead of your lip you were chewing on the cuticles of your nails. Pacing back and forth like a madwoman.
“Hey Roos I uh, I need a favour–but please feel free to say no, I can always have Hangman–” Before you could finish your sentence Rooster was smirking as he packed his things away into his locker. Holding his phone between his shoulder and ear.
“Whatever you need.” Rooster let his gaze linger on the photo of you he had in his locker. Just a candid picture he'd taken of you working on something in your workshop. Mirimars resistance technician. “I'm just about to have a shower, but after that I'm free.” You usually would have made a comment about if there was any room in that shower for you, but with Jake still standing right in front of you waiting for you to ask the all important question, you didn't feel like now would be an appropriate time for you to stroke Bradleys ego. “Y/n you there?” Fuck. He said your name, your actual name. You only ever really heard mum or Fe these days. But Bradley, saying your name? Always got you far too good.
“Uh, yeah no no I'm here–I uh, I was just wondering if you'd be able to pick Dot up from daycare this afternoon?” The silence they came through from the other end of the line was deafening and for a moment you thought you'd crossed a line. “Rooster you can say no–”
“No, no ill uh, I’ll grab her.” Why would he ever say no? “I just wasn't expecting that to be the favour.”
“Yeah well, Hangman just taxied into my workshop after a bird strike, gonna try to get him up in the air again so he’ll stop pestering me.” You explained as you sent Jake a look—he had been lucky on two fronts this afternoon. You heard Roosters locker shut before he replied.
“He alright?” You caught the slight tone of concern flooding through the phone.
“Despite his best efforts, I think he’ll live.” You mumbled under your breath as Jake stood gloating. He knew Bradshaw would be down for a date with Dot. “Are you sure you’re okay to pick Odette up?”
“Consider it sorted.” Rooster still held his phone between his shoulder and his ear as he unbuttoned his flight suit. The warm water from the head of the shower could be heard through the phone as you imagined him standing before you. Exposed. “Besides, it gives me an in with the hot mum I’ve been trying to seduce for the past few months.” Rooster teased.
“Oh I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about.” You and Bradley Bradshaw had been in this situationship for a few months now. He’d flirt with you, you’d flirt back—but everytime you thought things were getting a little too much, you’d pump the breaks. Rooster knew why, he didn’t mind waiting. In fact he quite enjoyed the game of cat and mouse, convinced wholeheartedly that with enough persistence and sheer determination he’d win you and subsequently your daughter over too. “I’ll come by yours the second I’m finished here?”
“Yeah cool, I’ll uh, I’ll see you then.”
“Thanks Bradley.” You cooed, a bashful smile gleaming across your face as you turned on your heels. “I really appreciate it.”
“It’s not a problem, honestly—anytime.” Rooster smiled to himself before he said his goodbyes. Sighing as he let his shoulders relax under the warm water with every intention of making sure his first little not so ‘daddy daughter date’ with your daughter would go as seamlessly as ever. Hanging up the phone Jake was quick to say he told you so.
“Told you he’d froth that shit up.”
“You are unbelievable, you know that?” You huffed as you dialled your daughter's day care. “I hope your date stands you up.”
“Oh I don’t have a date—“ You were about to lunge at his throat, claw deep enough so that his life would flash before his eyes. But as always, some divine intervention saved Jake Seresins life.
“Hello Sunny Side—“ The woman answered the phone.
“Hi, my names Y/n Y/l/n and I’d like to make an amendment to my daughter’s registered list of persons for pick up please?” You waited a few moments as the line went silent, only the sound of a computer keyboard being tapped away at filled the void.
“Who would you like to nominate?”
“Uh, his name is Bradley, Bradley Bradshaw.”
***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***
ᡣ𐭩 •。ꪆৎ ˚⋅ Life As We Know It
Word count: 11k
Summary: What happens when your friends die, and you and your ex-boyfriend gain custody of the baby? (requested from: 🦔)
⋆. ୨୧˚⋆
Bradley was watching the football screen on the flat TV. Meanwhile you sat on the other end of the three seater sofa reading. It was amusing that after all these years Bradley was still a big fan of the New York Jets. He always dreamed of having a flat screen TV, and now here he has it. Instead of reading your book, you were staring at Bradley longingly.
Under no circumstances have you ever thought that you and he would ever meet again. But after your best friend Malia and her husband died in an unexpected car crash, it left their 3 month baby girl without parents. To your surprise under Malia and Caleb's will, you and Bradley Bradshaw were written out as the God parents.
They must have written it before you and Bradley had broken up. It was already terrible seeing your ex boyfriend again after your friends died, but even more horrible when the estate lawyer revealed that both of you would hold custody over small Giovanna. Not to mention the grief of losing your college best friend so sudden and quickly.
It wasn't ever in your plan to have kids this soon in your life. But you had to do it for both your friends. You had given up your personal space, and lived at Bradley house for the babygirls sake. Bradley had turned down promotions, you gave up your freedom to travel, Bradley would have to cancel out on his friends multiple times for the baby and both of you sacrificed your sleep as well. But the one thing Bradley could not let go of was his grudge on you for cheating on him.
You understood where he was coming from, you would probably feel the same if you were in his shoes. But it made it a bit awkward and uncomfortable to live with him at times. All you could do was accept accountability for your stupid actions, and move on. If you could go back in time to redo the past you would one hundred percent take back your actions of going home with a different person that wasn't Bradley.
As you stared at him over the top of your book with your legs stretched out you couldn't resist and thinking how different things could have been. Bradley had grown up after 2 years, he bulked up and grew muscle. His once fair skin is now a beautiful caramel color. The shaggy curls that fell on his forehead were turned into a sharp regulation cut. His honey burnt eyes looked tired after all the baby trouble, but he still looked good.
Bradley probably could feel your sharp gaze at him but he didn't dare take his eyes off the tv. After moving in with Bradley, he didn't spear you a second of his attention which was understandable yet so very irritating. He was aware and alert of all his surroundings and he most definitely knew you were admiring his side profile instead of your book.
To add more sound above the play-by-play commentary on TV, on the baby monitor resting on the coffee table Giovanna started to cry.
"Not it."
Both of you said at the same time touching your nose. For the past 3 cries you had lost nose-goes. You knew you lost this one but you didn't want to move off the couch.
"I said it first." Bradley commented not bothering to shift his gaze at you. You closed your book frustrated, it wasn't fair that Bradley had faster reflexes than you.
"Rock, paper, scissors for it." You put your fist out towards him desperate not to go up. For a second you swore you saw the smallest hint of a smile on his lips. Which did make your heart skip a beat since nowhere near you did he ever look happy.
"No, you lost. Go." Bradley leaned back against the couch feeling no sympathy for you.
You left the living room with a sigh, making your way upstairs to the nursery. Right now Bradley was probably grinning now since your bothersome presence was gone. You twist the door knob and you're greeted with the most lovely high pitched crying you have ever heard.
"Hi Gigi." You muttered to the hysterical infant. Gently you reached down into the crib and picked up Giovanna, making sure to hold up her head. Based on your forearms against her warm bottom, you could tell she needs a change of diaper. "I got you honey."
After changing a diaper for months, you moved into the changing table, placing her small tense body down on the thin cot. When Bradley found out about the death of Caleb, he didn't waste a second on moving all the nursery items out of Malia and Caleb's house into his small home. You asked him if you could help assist in the move but Bradley coldly said he would do it himself.
But out of this major step up he made in his life, the thing that pulled on your heartstrings the most was Bradley had painted the spare room sky blue, and added small white clouds to the walls. To the baby it didn't matter where she was, but to Bradley it was important she still got her room.
You hand blindly tapped around the shelf under the wooden changing table for diapers and felt nothing. You poked your head down remembering you had forgotten to grab the case of diapers down stairs, and restock the changing table. Giovanna mouth opens wide in a quivering wail, gums bare, and chin trembling. Her tiny brows knitted together.
You moved to the crib grabbing the small baby monitor and speaking into the small sound system.
"Bradley, could you please bring the diaper box up please?" You felt embarrassed to even talk to him, the shame of your mistake all those years ago still haunting you. It took a second before any word was spoken by him.
"I don't remember losing this round." Bradley's raspy voice had you fluttering eyes shut. Before you could start begging, Bradley spoke again. "Hey but kiss G goodnight for me." Then it was utter silence.
I cheated on Bradley. I deserve this. I cheat on Bradley. I deserve this. I cheated on Bradley. I deserve this. You said to yourself and you quickly dashed downstairs for the pampers
⊹☆~⟡⋆
You got little Giovanna every Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and Sunday. Bradley got her Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday. It's like you were a team but a broken one. Holding on for the sake of the child. The days Bradley or you got her, of course one another still helped around for a little but then you were completely free.
It was Thursday morning and Bradley and you were moving through the kitchen doing your separate routines together. Bradley was holding small Giovanna in her strong arms feeding her a small bottle of formula milk. Meanwhile you made a yogurt parfait adding your granola and fruit in an aesthetically pleasing manner.
When you cooked breakfast, you always made extra for Bradley. Stubbornly Bradley would never take it. So on occasion you would slip it into the passenger seat of his bronco so he had no choice but to take it. Always you made extra for him even if he didn't eat it.
In the fridge there were definitely sections. The top shelf was yours, the bottom one Bradley's, and the middle one just condiments and baby formula. You would sneak the Tupperware leftovers into his bare section. Then the next time you were in the fridge the Tupperware box was back on your shelf.
When it was Bradley's turn to take care of the baby, he usually had iceman's wife kindly babysit her, as he went off to work or sometimes just called in sick and stayed home with Giovanna. By this time Bradley was usually out the door, so for a second you thought he was waiting for breakfast.
"Hey I was wondering if you can do a favor for me?"
Your eyes immediately snapped up at Bradley as you never heard those words for him before. Obviously he wasn't looking at you though, staring at the small baby in a pink onesie while she perfectly sat in his arms. The picture of Bradley in his navy green flight suit holding a small Giovanna would forever be tattooed in your mind.
"Yeah?" You asked, feeling a bit too excited for your own good. You went back to adding strawberries in your yogurt since he wouldn't yet look at you.
"I got this important briefing today." You glanced at him. Bradley set the bottle down on the counter before moving the baby upright. Her face over his shoulder as he patted her small back. "And Sarah can't watch G for me today."
You already assumed what the next words lined up. But you didn't jump at the chance to help him, your shoulder slumping down since of course this was a baby related matter. When you didn't respond yet Bradley rolled his eyes, forcing him to get the words out he didn't want to be spoken out loud.
"...So I was wondering if you could take care of her for today?" Once the infant let out a small burp Bradley cradled her back down into his arms. Your eyes didn't leave your yogurt this time. This could be your chance to get on Bradley's good side. For those awkward football nights to become a comfortable hangout. Yet your mind wondered back to when he didn't bring the pamper box up for you.
So out of pettiness you twisted the circle lid on to your bowl and said: "I don't remember today being my day to take care of her."
With that you grabbed your breakfast, left his yogurt parfait on the counter and exited the kitchen. Leaving Bradley standing there with his jaw clenched, holding Giovana in his arms.
⊹☆~⟡⋆
Maybe if I wasn't an asshole yesterday she would have helped me. Bradley thought to himself, staring down at the 4 month baby in his arms.
"Alright, I guess today it’s ’take your goddaughter to work day.’ " Bradley glanced at the yogurt and with his free hand, stretched his arm out to grasp the container. Just this once, I'm eating for me not for her. He moved to the closet where the baby's Winnie the pooh bag was. He ducked down and pressed his shoulder against the wall before standing up properly and getting the strap off the hook and onto his shoulder.
"I know I almost traded you today. But don't give me a hard time for it, please." Bradley said in a baby tone holding Giovanna's small body in one arm and his yogurt in the other. The small girl made a small cooing noise as he made his way out of the house.
"Yeah I know, your godmother looked pretty today." Bradley admitted to the baby. You always looked pretty, but Bradley just had to pretend he didn't see it, for his own sake.
When Bradley got to hangar late everybody looked at him as he made his late entry. Looking like a professional godfather with a diaper bag over his shoulder, and holding a black stroller basket in his hand. He heard some of his coworkers laugh and Maverick looked at him like he was crazy.
"Rooster you can't have babies-"
"I'm sorry that it's such an inconvenience to you that her parents died." Bradley angrily stated, leaving his godfather speechless. He wasn't sure if he spoke for the baby or for his younger self as well. "Listen, I'm sorry. But I don't have anybody to watch her. She's asleep, but the moment she starts crying I'll go out into the hall and take care of it."
With that Maverick helplessly directed Bradley to the open seat in the back. Bradley moved down the aisle taking the seat and setting the portable baby basket on the floor and set the Winnie the pooh bag down as well.
His ears were tuned into the flight instruction Maverick gave, but his attention was on the baby asleep in the basket. With Bradley’s boot propped up on the edge of the basket, he gently tipped it back and forth, rocking her gently.
After that Bradley had to deal with finding where to change her since there was no fold out table in the men's room. Realizing Giovanna's onesie was too small for her, having multiple women gush over the baby, and learning that Giovanna likes yogurt when he placed a dot of it by her lips. Natasha watched over Gigi in the rec room as he did his flight practice.
The moment Bradley was back home around 4 o'clock. He went straight to your room that used to be his spare bedroom. Giovana cradled in his arms, ready to pass you the baby, now since he got home. This time around Bradley didn't even knock, opening the door and seeing you laid on on your bed with your phone in your hand.
A funny thought tickled his brain that it would be nice to lay next to you. Especially since you looked so peaceful and uninterrupted. It reminded him of the days you waited for him at home in your shared apartment with open arms.
"I gotta shower, you watch the pumpkin for a bit." It wasn't a greeting or question, it was a demand as he went over to the other side of the bed and placed the baby in your arms. A fond look over took your eyes now that you had the baby once in your arms again. That second Bradley immediately missed having Giovanna warm body in his embrace.
"So how did it go?" You hesitantly asked not at all bother by the fact he just bursted in here. Bradley stood there for a few seconds debating whether to rant or not.
"Swell." Was all Bradley could say remembering he had spilt milk all over his car seats. Bradley left the room with no other words being said. Once he got to his master bedroom he realized his shower only shot out cold water. Last month he would prance into the extra bedroom and shower there since the water was always warmer.
Now with his ex-girlfriend in the other room, he would just have to suck it up and deal with the ice cold water. But today the idea of showering with cold water left Bradley shivering. So he grabbed a pair of sweatpants and white t-shirt and walked down the hall to your room.
Since he wanted to use your shower Bradley knocked on the door this time before letting himself in. The moment he set foot through your door he felt somewhat better seeing you taking a picture of Giovanna. He felt the tightness in his shoulder disappear for a second when you looked up at him.
"Can I use your shower? Mine only sprays cold water." Bradley found himself looking at you way longer than he usually does too caught up in the scene before him.
"Yeah go for it." You casually said looking back at the baby and letting out a delighted squeal. "Gosh you're so cute G! You're like the doll I always wanted." His feet were pasted to the ground forgetting why he was here. A small smile pulled on his lips; Bradley always thought you would make a great mother for his kids. He almost wanted to tell you he loved you at that moment.
Your eyes looked back at him and that’s when his feet directed him to the bathroom. It was a very odd feeling, being in the shower and feeling safe that you were behind the door.
Once Bradley got out of the shower he thanked you, but found himself yearning to be in the same room as you two girls.
"Do you mind if I sit for a little?" Bradley pointed at the spot by the edge of the bed. He had no right to ask that especially with the way he had been ignoring you for the past month. You hummed a response and Bradley took a seat. He had nothing to talk to you about besides the baby. "Did you see the little rash on her thigh?" He asked, turning to look at you.
You grabbed one of your silk pillows before setting down sleepy Giovanna on the nice material. "Yeah. Don't worry we put baby powder on before the diaper this time so she should be good." Your attention was on Bradley once again and there was nothing he could do besides feel embarrassed about how badly he wanted to kiss you at that moment.
"You know she likes yogurt?" Bradley stupidly announced not knowing what more to say.
"Does she?" You perked up, raising your brows.
"Oh yeah. You should have seen it." Bradley laid back against the foot of the bed wanting to see Giovanna sleep. "Got a finger full and put it by her mouth to try, and she ate it without making a face." The soft rise and fall of the little baby’s chest made Bradley smile. Babies were such a blessing, for a second Bradley was glad she was too small to understand that her parents had passed away.
In this moment laying next to Gigi, Bradley felt drained from the day's events and sleepiness overtook him. Closing his eyes to rest his eyes lids for a second. Slowly starting to grow unconscious.
"You took the yogurt?" Was the last thing Bradley heard before he had completely blacked out on your bed.
⊹☆~⟡⋆
Not a day went by that you didn't think about Bradley accidentally falling asleep in your bed. Both Giovanna and Bradley had tired each other out passing out side by side. You kept telling yourself it was the pure utter exhaustion that had Bradley out like a light in your bed, not because he wanted you close... But why the hell would he sit down in the first place?!
You had thrown a blanket over him and an hour later he had woken up. Automatically you thought he would leave but he got up and gently placed Gigi in the middle of your bed, before laying down in your bed. What the hell?! Bradley hated you, the hell was he doing casually laying in your bed, like he did this everyday... a few years ago he used to.
Bradley didn't bring up the sleepover in your room, nor did you. It was the same routine with Bradley after that, grocery shopping together, occasionally greeting each other good morning, him watching football while you read on the couch, trying to get Giovana to say her first words.
Once when you were on the couch you had blacked out while doing a word search. Yet somehow the next morning you woke up in your own bed. You didn't ask Bradley but you were 100% sure that he had tucked you in. But obviously you didn't ask.
Slowly but surely you had a feeling that Bradley was warming up to you. Like the past could maybe stay the past and you could work together, to make eachother life easier. That's why you made sure to butter Bradley up before he realized that you could be trusted once again.
Everytime he lost in nose-goes you volunteered to check on Giovanna instead, when he lost his keys you helped him look, when he came back home you offered up your shower before Bradley could ask.
On a Monday afternoon when he came back home rather late, you had Giovanna on your lap playing with the rainbow stacking ring toy. Bradley was wearing civilian clothes so this must have been one of the rare nights he went to the Hard Deck. His Hawaiian shirt was a blue decorated with black palm trees, you were certain he wore that shirt the day he had planned you a surprise birthday party many years ago.
"Hey." Bradley passed by the living room, moving to his room not caring to talk to you like usual.
"Hi," You threw your head back following his every movement. "Do you wanna know the score of the game?" Bradley stopped in his tracks and smirked a bit. You never cared much for meatheads pushing each other on a field before so he was amused.
Bradley rested his hand on the white stair ball finial, and propped his chin on his hand. "Tell me."
"Eagles 25 and Buccaneers 11." You started bouncing your leg making Giovanna gently coo. Bradley pressed his lips together, trying not to smile.
"Did you search that up?"
You shook your head and lifted your head up focusing on Giovanna instead. "No." The baby grasped the red ring sliding it down on the pole "I watched it." You timidly confessed.
"Did you?" Based on the sound of his voice you could tell he was smiling. Not being able to see his facial expression reminded you of when he was deployed and you could hear the warmth in his voice through the phone. "Since when do you watch football?"
"Today when I missed you sitting next to me." You muttered so he couldn't hear. You grabbed a green ring and slid it on to the pole. Giovanna burbled in disagreement, her small hands pushing the ring up and out of the pole.
You thought Bradley had left but his raspy voice had your blood pumping rapidly through your body. "Since what?"
"Nothing"
"No, what did you say?" Bradley egged on moving off the stairs and returning back to the living room. Everything was left unspoken between you two, so he was pushing your limits wondering if you had the guts to say that to his face.
"I said nothing."
⊹☆~⟡⋆
"Do you need the shower?" You instantly asked Bradley when he had knocked on your door. It broke his heart that you always thought he wasn't here for you. Using your shower was now just becoming some bullshit excuse to come visit you and be close.
Through the reflection of the dark window, you were doing your mascara. Now that your eyes didn't linger on him, he missed your attention now since he didn't have it.
"No, Giovanna toy keyboard doesn't work, and I think I left some spare batteries in your closet." Bradley checked you out since you weren't facing him, his eyes focused on your ass a little longer than necessary.
"Yeah, you can check." You answered. Too busy fixing your appearance to get it yourself. Bradley walked into your cozy room and opened your closet. "Are you sure you want to hear those lovely symphonies she can play?"
Bradley laughed at your sarcastic comment. "Hey if it keeps her happy." His eyes scanned over your selection of clothes before looking at the top shelf. "Honestly I think I'm more addicted to the cat keyboard than she is." He heard you infectious laugh as Bradley grabbed at a navy shoe box with no lid.
The batteries were clearly not in there, but the items in the box had captured Bradley’s attention. It wasn't morally correct to be going through your things, but how could he not when an old polaroid strip of pictures of both of you kissing was in the shoe box. Your closet door opened prevents you from seeing his snooping.
The photo booth you took that in was so tiny, you were sitting on Bradley lap while the pictures were taken. The Polaroid square of you guys making funny faces used to be in his wallet. It was a bit odd you kept it after all these years but perhaps for the memories?
Curious overtook him and he kept going through the box. His heart did a flip when he realized this box was dedicated to him. There was a movie ticket of your first date, the souvenirs shot glass he got from Florida for you, his beat up cap he thought he lost. A dried dandelion, that you had wished upon to be together forever. A baseball he wrote his number on, and a rock with googly eyes Bradley stupidly made for you one day when you wanted a pet.
Bradley forgot some of these things had completely existed.
"Did you find it?" Your voice had startled Bradley. He stole the pet rock from the box before sliding it back onto the shelf.
"On second thought, I think the meow meow piano sounds just fine with zero sound." Bradley closed your closet giving you a once over before you turned around to face him. "You look beautiful." Bradley's mouth moved quicker than his brain. He felt like he was caught red handed.
Your face lit up at the compliment "Thank you. I'll see you later, Rooster."
Time heals all wounds. For once Bradley might agree with the saying because, for the first time in forever Bradley could forgive your past actions. It wasn't the shoe box that changed his mind, but everything else in-between. You had thrown a blanket over him the night he fell asleep on the foot of your bed. You watched the eagles game to tell him the score. Made him food even if he didn't eat it. Always giving him your full attention, every time he talked to you.
The truth was Bradley had never stopped loving you. It was hard enough already that one of Bradley's best friends had died, but to make it worse they were the 2 people that had brought you and Bradley together. Bradley was just a chauffeur at their wedding, a little lost between careers. Meanwhile you were one of the cute bridesmaids that stood besides the bride on the steps. Wearing a silk lavender gown that fits you like a glove.
Melissa and Caleb were nice people, so they had let Bradley sit at one of the tables during the wedding at the fancy country club. Bradley's eyes were burning into you. The moment you recognized his piercing gaze, you shot him a smooth wink with a gentle smile. The small gesture did something to him. Feeling recognized and reassured in a crowd where he knew no one.
After eating the food the caters had so kindly served, he went back to the black SUV, not wanting to overstay his welcome. Bradley sat there for a while listening to music with his seat reclined. That's when he heard the knock on the window. The bridesmaid hadn't had her fun yet.
With a smirk Bradley rolled down his window.
"I got you cake. Was wondering if I could sit with you?" You licked some frosting off your finger holding a plate of lemon cake and a bottle of champagne. Bradley unlocked the passenger door for you. One thing led to another and the chauffeur had his fun with the bridesmaid. That's where it had all begun. If it weren't for Bradley's unemployment crisis, then he would have never met you at Melissa and Caleb's wedding. The thought genuinely scared him.
That's why it felt like a punch to the gut when both of you were announced as Giovanna godparents. Melissa and Caleb thought both of you were made for each other. The night of their wedding you had catched the money bouquet you had pointed the flowers at him and said: “Baby it’s gonna be you and me up there next!” That day was the first time he met you, and technically you were a complete stranger, but he believed you.
There was this regret that lingered, when you had moved into his house. If Bradley forgave you for cheating before then the pair of you could have been living together for a long time now. He wasted time that could have been. Lots of if’s played on his mind. If you and him hadn't broken up, Melissa and Caleb probably wouldn't have gotten into a car crash. If Melissa and Caleb didn't die, Giovanna would still have parents.
⊹☆~⟡⋆
It was crazy to know that you had spent 2 months raising Giovanna, and living with Bradley. It was Thanksgiving. Which lands on a Thursday, so Bradley had responsibility over 5 month Giovanna. The little girl was growing too now. Her hair was getting a little longer so you had to brush it down. She could crawl now from Bradley back to you and her teeth were starting to come in.
For Thanksgiving you had asked Bradley if he had any plans. Last time, you remember he was the life of the party, he was the music, the entertainment, the drunk, playing with the dog, the social butterfly of the function. Actually Bradley was a fun time in general, he had that positive mindset that made everyone smile.
But you were surprised when he said he had nothing going on. All his friends were home for the holidays, so there would be no get together. It broke your heart because Bradley didn't have any other family to celebrate with. Meanwhile you had plans with your sister's family to eat turkey at 6 in the evening. You had invited Bradley but he kindly declined saying he didn't want to intrude. No matter how much you told him he was more than welcome he said he would be fine at home with Giovanna.
Around three o'clock you were already dressed to head to your sister's house. But when you were going down the stairs, Bradley's back was facing towards you. He was sitting on the floor in the living room with Giovanna. The parade was playing on TV and there was a tower of blocks being stacked between them.
G was wearing a white long sleeve shirt with an orange dress that had a small pumpkin embroidered on the center pocket.
"You're such a little pumpkin you know that?" Bradley fondly stared at Giovanna stacking blocks on top of one another. She started to giggle when they all topped over hitting the ground with a soft thud. Bradley could never handle the cuteness, scooping the baby up into his lap, and kissing all over her chubby face. "You're my little pumpkin right?"
She stared up at him with her hazel eye, the exact same color as her father's. Giovanna didn't know how much she meant to Bradley. That he would give her the world if she asked for it. Bradley kissed her forehead giving her a little squeeze.
"Don't grow up on me okay? You're not allowed to."
Everything about him was amazing. Probably still one of your favorite people even after you broke up. You didn't want Bradley to catch you staring for the millionth time longingly. So you shook your head and quickly scurried off the stairs in the direction of the foyer. You slipped your kitten heels on and we're out the door.
When you were in your car and turned the engine on you weren’t able to put the car in drive. The whole week you've been looking forward to this. Your sister made the best mashed potatoes and was an amazing hostess. Always had fun party games that had you doubling over in laughter and fondly looking back at when they were memories. The family picture that always took way too long to get snapped. You'd always loved the sense of family when everyone listed what they were grateful for.
But this time around the two people you were grateful for wouldn't even be at the diner table. You were just outside of the house, and you already missed them. It's safe to think that you might have separation anxiety from those two. Going to Thanksgiving at your sister’s didn't even seem appealing when you could be home with Bradley and Giovanna. Yes, you had grown up with your sister and cousins, but you had a new family now to prioritize and put first.
You backed out of the driveway and instead of going in the direction of your sister's house, you went the opposite way to the grocery store.
Once you had gotten to the Grocery store thirty minutes away from your house, you realized you never cooked Thanksgiving dinner. Last time you tried helping when you were younger, your mother had kicked you out of the kitchen. Saying you did better off watching the parade. Times like this you really wished your mom wouldn't shoo you away, and showed you how to prepare the turkey.
Staring at the freezer full of turkey, you couldn't resist shaking your head feeling nauseous. No way would you be able to cook that, and make it edible. The next best thing was the warm rotisserie chicken under the yellow oven lights. Turkey, chicken- tomatoe, tomato, pretty much the same thing. So you grabbed the warm plastic box and placed it into the cart.
You were ready to turn the dinner into a lazy one, as you reached for the mashed potato mix on the shelf. Then your hand dropped back to your side. Bradley liked the mashed potatoes with the lumps in them because it reminded him of his mom, since she never had the patience to fully smash them down. You ditched the artificial mashed potatoes and went back to the produce, to grab some real potatoes.
Oh and Bradley also likes pumpkin pie. Never finishes the slice, but he likes the thought of one. Maybe he would prefer brownies and ice cream, like his mom used to do?
You took a shaky exhale feeling the emotions bubble to the surface, while grabbing a sack of potatoes. The biggest regret you ever made in your life was cheating on Bradley. He was the best boyfriend you ever had, and you had thrown 4 years down the drain like it was nothing. Bradley trusted you to be loyal to him; he told you his fears, secrets, likes, traumas, hobbies, and you didn't even think twice about that.
Tears started to flood your vision while you pushed the cart towards the dessert aisle. You were convinced that you were an awful person. Everything changed after Melissa announced she was pregnant in July. You had been dating Bradley for almost five years and there was zero ring. You tried convincing yourself that you weren't ready for marriage or kids or living together. But with Bradley you never felt so sure in your life.
Bradley said it was never the right time to get married, it's like every other day in the year he was doing a mission or getting deployed. He wanted stability for both of you when you got married. That he was waiting for a point in his career where everything would settle down... but it never did. You didn't care about stability or the right time. Every day felt like the right time for forever to begin when you were with Bradley. You loved everything that came with Bradley Bradshaw, even down to the crazy deployment set backs.
You got tired of hearing it'll happen tomorrow, or this year, or "soon baby, when everything works out." The world was gonna keep on spinning and you were still waiting for Bradley's perfect moment to strike like the Rooster in him.
Around the time of Melissa's first ultra scan, you were sick of waiting. You had gone out with your sister and a group of her friends to a club. Not somewhere familiar like the Hard Deck but something across town that wasn't Bradley’s scene at all. You were just so pissed at the timing, and everyone growing up without you.
Then the shots happened, cocktails, and a beer (which you weren't a fan of but you drank it because it was Bradley's favorite). After drinks, it correlated to dancing to the heavy music blasting in the club.
Some guy ended up grabbing at your hips when you were swaying them. You looked around for your friends, none of them in sight. First thing you thought of was: Bradley would not like this. You weren't even remotely attracted to the guy grinding against you and he didn't hold a candle close to Bradley. Yet another thought came in: I also don’t like sitting around waiting for Bradley to get his shit together, so what did it matter if I danced with some random guy who had the same build as my boyfriend?
You couldn't even blame the influence of drinking for what you had done after that. Because you were fully aware that it wasn't right, except you were so numb to it all in that moment you didn't care. But when you had got to sleep in a bed that wasn't Bradley's you immediately regretted it. There would be no church bells, or baby showers after your tramp behavior.
The day after when you were severely hung over, Bradley had called you asking you to come grab a bite with him at your guys favorite burger joint. When You got there you looked and felt horrible, but the moment you sat down he still greeted you with: "Hi beautiful."
Bradley was so happy to see you, and when he leaned down to hug you, you felt disgusted and ashamed with yourself. Bradley had ordered your favorite before you got here. He looked so tall and handsome and he was all yours for those last few minutes. Your food hadn't even been served yet. But you couldn't bear leading a kind hearted man like him on. After a massive exhale you confess your sin while crying immediately.
The only times you have ever seen Bradley heartbroken was when Natasha and Bob had gotten hurt during a training accident, and both anniversary days when Carole and Nick died. Now you were the one to be a part of his pain. Bradley had let you explain yourself through sobs. Not telling you to breathe, or calm down. He made you feel sorry and ashamed.
After that he was gone. Bradley moved out of the apartment first, leaving you with an empty place. Where 4 walls haunted you with the memories built inside. It didn't matter how much you called him because he never answered. With your tail between your legs you went to the Hard Deck to try to show him he still meant the world to you. But none of that mattered to him any longer, and you understood that.
A one night stand and your whole relationship was ruined. You couldn't even look yourself in the mirror after that. All you felt was pure utter hatred for yourself, that the best part of your life was gone because of your own actions. Then it occurred to you that it was better waiting your whole life for Bradley to be ready then, have him out of your life for good.
You ruined your own forever, and now you were forced to deal with the consequences everyday near the love of your life that would never forgive you. Most of your Thanksgiving shopping was spent wiping your eyes, like you have been doing for the past 2 months. Knowing this was your fault.
It was around 5 o'clock when you came back home. When you entered the house with grocery bags marking your arms, Bradley was no longer in the living room.
Not only did you have a breakdown at the supermarket but you still needed to prepare some massive feast you weren't even in the mood to make anymore. But you moved forward.
You didn't do so much besides mash the potatoes, make gravy, sautéed green beans, mac n’ cheese, and brownies. You took the rotisserie chicken out the package and plated it on a cute tray. The dishes containing the food all matched with each other all being white. In Particular, you were a big fan of how cute the gravy boat looked.
You had a rag over your shoulder as you lit a candle on the table. Hopefully Bradley didn't assume you were making a move on him, and just wanted to hang out with him. After arranging the silverware, and three plates around the table you suddenly felt embarrassed by doing this much. Never have you eaten dinner at the table all together once since you’ve lived here, and if you did eat it was only ever in the living room in front of the tv.
A frown fell on your lips. It felt shameful to walk up stairs and tell Bradley that Thanksgiving dinner was served and ready. It was a very vulnerable feeling to show that you did enjoy his company, and might have even preferred it over your actual family members.
"I thought you were at your sister's."
Bradley sounded as shocked as you felt, when you saw him in the dining room. He was holding Giovanna in his arms and with her tiny hands playing with his dog tags that were tucked in his shirt. Your mouth felt bone dry, standing there awkwardly like you had been caught doing something terrible.
"Well- I uh. I was, I was gonna go and but I thought-"
"You made this?" Bradley pointed at the table with a raised brow. Suddenly the rotisserie chicken in the center felt like the biggest disappointment on the table. Everything felt so pathetic, and you wished the floor had swallowed you whole.
"Mh hm." You nodded. Giovanna's face planted into his chest and Bradley's lips pulled into a small grin. You couldn't tell if it was because of the growing baby in his arms or the Thanksgiving dinner.
"And we're gonna eat together?" All you could do was, nod your head nervously not knowing what was the right answer. The suspense for his feeling about this was killing you.
"If you want. I'm sorry about there being no turkey- I just. I never learned how to prepare one and it was last minute and all but." Your ramble was cut short.
"No, no I love it. it's perfect." Bradley looked at the mash potatoes fondly. You hoped he would taste the lumps in them later. "You actually care about me." It was hard to tell if that was a question or statement coming from his tone of voice.
"Shut up." You laughed it off like it was nothing.
⊹☆~⟡⋆
What the hell was Bradley doing on this date? He didn't even like Thai food, let alone how busy a trendy restaurant could be. The worst thing about dates was the small talk he had to pretend to care about. By all means the raven haired girl, Caroline across the table from him was very nice and pretty. But mentally he wasn't at the restaurant, he had never disassociated so hard from reality before.
Bradley missed you and Giovanna. It felt like he was counting down the seconds until he got to see you two again. He longed to smell the lavender scent that stuck to your clothes, and the way Johnson & Johnson shampoo smelled in Giovanna hair. The smell in his imagination tickled his nose like he was actually near both of you. Bradley felt the bump in his front pocket, where he carried the flat pet rock he stole from you. It was like he was a little kid with his comfort blanket, somehow carrying the stupid rock made Bradley feel like he was closer to you.
All he could do was nod his head at Caroline pretending he understood everything she was saying. How could Bradley be on a date with another woman when he knew he loved you? After the Thanksgiving meal, it was all set in stone for him that you were all he ever wanted and needed. Bradley didn't have anybody to share that holiday with, and you had gone out of your way to ditch your earlier plans to make and eat dinner with him and Giovanna. Lumpy mashed potatoes, and Brownies with ice cream for dessert just like his mom used to do it. It warmed Bradley's heart that you still remembered those stupid silly details he would retell about his childhood Thanksgiving. It made him smile that after 6 years of saying you wanted to learn how to cook a turkey, you still didn’t know how. The rotisserie chicken didn’t matter though, what mattered was that you had tried with the intention of eating all together.
He felt seen and cared for, the exact same feeling he had when he had dated you before you had cheated on him. Always he blamed you for what happened, that was what had him sleeping well at night. Except for the past week straight it wasn't so easy to go to bed. He kept tossing and turning and the thought came to mind: maybe if I married her earlier on, we would still be together.
If Bradley put himself in your shoes then he would get sick of waiting too. He most likely would feel insecure, if you kept on putting the idea of marriage off. So he did come to terms with the thought that maybe you felt like an option instead of a priority. Not most girls wouldn't deal with a guy getting deployed 3 times a year and still wait for him to get back, but you did. From the moment he met you, he recalled you saying long distance relationships were stupid, but for him you sucked it up.
Maybe it was his fault that you cheated on him.
"Bradley?"
Caroline giggled, once he didn't reply to her question. Then his mind floated back into his body, and he was sitting at a table covered with a red cloth and a yellow candle flickering between the two of them. The food had arrived and he didn't even recall seeing the waiter place the dishes down.
"Sorry I get distracted sometimes. What was that?" Bradley raised his brows and glanced at his stake. He didn't even remember ordering either.
They made small talk trying to get to know each other but Bradley was still thinking about you. Random Thought crept in and out like: is she thinking about me too?
Whatever happened to her favorite sleep shirt that used to be mine?
Do you know I stole the pet rock from your box, and keep it in my pocket wherever I go?
Did the scare on your lower back ever healed after you scrapped it against the pool?
Does she still think of me when ‘Great Balls Of Fire’ plays?
Does she realize I carry her to bed when she falls asleep on the couch?
There were so many thoughts left unanswered because Bradley never asked you. Up until now did he actually start making full conversations with you instead of humming replies and using head signals. Bradley never wanted to be home so bad in his life. Even if that meant you reading on the couch, while he watched tv.
Bradley didn't even finish his food before he was pushing his chair out the table and reaching for his wallet. Times like these Maverick words rang in his head: don't think just do.
"I'm sorry Caroline. It was nice meeting you and having dinner, but I gotta go." Bradley picked two bills of one hundred out of his wallet and placed it on the table.
She furrowed her brows staring up at him. He never liked to ditch anybody, but this didn't feel right at all. "Okay... is everything alright?"
"Yeah, everything's fine, I just feel a bit under the weather." Bradley stood up from the table. Caroline was the move on girl, to help him get back out there and get over you. Turns out Caroline would be the girl that had him miss his ex more. "It was nice seeing you Caroline, have a nice night." She wished him a fair well and he quickly moved out the restaurant before the staff could question his departure.
When he turned the engine on in the Bronco he let out a sigh of relief that he would be heading home.
After the drive back to Coronado, Bradley was unlocking the front door, shaking the keys a few times by the door to alert you he was coming in. The whole ride back, Bradley’s mind left the car thinking about imaginary conversation he would have with you that would most likely not happen. A few fake scenarios about the night ending in a kiss, or hug, and a little further in his bed.
Bradley threw the keys in the ceramic bowl, and took his shoes off. While in the restaurant his lap had felt awfully empty without Giovanna sitting with him. Bradley strolled into the living room and smiled at the sight before him. You passed out on the couch and Giovanna was on your lap fully awake, staring at the kids show on TV, like she could understand the words.
"Pumpkin, I thought we agreed that you wouldn't tire your godmother out?" Bradley asked the baby. Her attention snapped to him and a gummy smile took over her small face. On instinct Giovanna was stretching her small arms out to him. Bradley was such a servant to this girl, because in seconds he was sweeping her off your lap, and holding her high up in the air. Her beautiful giggles had Bradley chuckle. After playfully lifting her in the air a few times he brought her back down to his level.
"You miss me?" Bradley kissed her soft chubby cheek. Bradley took her soft coo's as a yes. "How's my girl doing huh?" He pressed lips on her forehead. Taking an inhale of how her head smells like the yellow Johnson & Johnson soap. Bradley pulled away and with his big finger he booped her small button nose.
"I should put your godmother to bed, huh? Can't leave her down here." Bradley stared at the little girl in his arms waiting for a reply. Obviously she said nothing, just staring up at him with her clueless hazel eyes. He was gonna protect and take care of Giovanna for the rest of her life and he wasn’t mad about it at all. "Gosh you're so cute, I want to eat you." Bradley put her small hand up to his mouth and gently sank his teeth on her small finger. Bradley kissed her hand before looking back at your relaxed face.
"I'm gonna put Gigi upstairs and then I'll come back for you okay?" Bradley reassured your sleeping self, as he went up the creek steps. Once Giovanna was in her crib Bradley moved back downstairs. He made sure everything was put away and locked up, before he went back to the couch where you had fallen asleep.
Bradley had done this a total of 5 times, and he was pretty sure you never noticed. Careful not to wake you, he placed his arm underneath your knees, and his other arm under your back. Bradley easily got you off the sofa. Carrying you always reminded him of how much he used to love doing it. The only light provided was the one shining down on the stairs, so he made sure not to skip or trip any steps.
The old wooden floorboards creaked underneath him, and a small laugh had caught his attention. Bradley looked down at you, in his arms and there was an obvious smile that you were holding back.
"You're such a fucking liar."
Bradley huffed out, once you had the liberty to have a good laugh. Your energy was so infectious he found himself laughing. It left him wondering if you played pretend all the time to have him carry you up the steps. Here Bradley thought he was so slick with bringing you to bed, but it looks like you did notice.
"I saw an opportunity so I took it." You reasoned. Bradley avoided eye contact because if he did look at you, he was sure he might solidify his brewing feelings. There was a part of Bradley that told him that it shouldn't feel natural to hold you like this, but it felt so right.
Bradley got to your room and gently kicked the door open. "Sorry, We don't do free rides here." He placed you on the bed like you were a delicate flower. You rested on your elbows staring at him amused.
"Sorry, What form of currency do you take?" You raised your brows expectantly. First thing that came to mind was a kiss, but he shook his head.
"Just don't let it happen again." Bradley warned as if this wasn't the peak of his night. This little moment felt better than being on a date with some random girl Natasha set him up with.
At the same time both of you spoke.
"How was the date-"
"I'm gonna go cheek on G-"
Bradley wanted to slam his head against the wall for not thinking of any other small talk besides the baby you had in common.
"Alright, I'll see you in the morning Brad." Your cheeky little smile had definitely dropped. He would be lying to himself if he said that you being upset over his absent presence didn't slightly excite him.
"Yeah, Night." Bradley was hesitant to go, but ultimately left, closing your door.
Stupid, stupid, stupid. He sighed to himself as he went to Giovanna's room. Once he looked down at the crib he was surprised to see that the little girl had passed out in the short time he went to collect you upstairs. She looked like a little lamb when she slept. Her features were not fully developed, but she looked like her parents. She had Melissa’s straight brown hair, and Caleb’s ears. Bradley never thought he could love a little baby so much in his life. Giovanna was worth every Hard Deck trip and rank he had given up.
"Sweet dreams G. Scream if you need anything." Bradley kissed the tips of his fingers and then pressed them to her forehead. He turned on the small baby monitor by her crib, made sure she was comfortable before he left her room.
Bradley somehow forgot which way his room was, and magically ended up knocking on your door again. Once he was allowed entrance Bradley, opened the door, and you were still in bed resting against your head board.
"She fell asleep like a little lamb-"
"Do you wanna use the shower?" Both of you spoke above each other. It occurred to Bradley that it might be odd that he was here, considering he only entered to use your shower. For a second he almost thought it was okay for him to be here.
"No, I just wanna talk to you." Your curiosity peaked. Bradley had nothing interesting or planned out to say, he just wanted to be next to you. Bradley decided to be bold and move to the other side of the bed, and lay down with his head against the headboard as well. Your head turned to him, waiting for him to say something. Bradley felt settled knowing he had figured out his feelings on you, but he felt antsy in front you. "What was the score of the game?" Bradley stupidly asked now that he felt all nervous and tongue tied.
Your laugh made him smile. "Uhm hate to break it to you Eagles lost, 33-36."
"No." Bradley said playfully, any other day he would be heartbroken if the Commanders won, but since he was in your bed, it didn't hurt too much.
"Yeah I'm sorry." You nodded in a pitiful manner. There was a silence that fell over both of you after, he couldn't tell if it was comfortable or awkward. He guessed it was uncomfortable since you were quick to speak again. "How was the date?"
"You know-" Bradley thought it was better to lie or settle on the truth. He already laid in your bed, might as well say it how it is. He spoke quickly because looking into your eyes made his stomach flip. "I couldn't really enjoy it, I was missing you guys too much." The words hung in the air finally being said. Your eyes had softened but you had looked straight ahead. A small smile captured your side profile.
"I have the same problem." You admitted making Bradley feel relieved. "Don't worry we missed you too." A grin pulled at his lips. Crazy how far a little communication could get you. "Wait, can I tell you something? But promise you won't think I'm weird or laugh." You sat up against the headboard. It seems as Bradley's confession had started a domino effect and you wanted to let something off your chest as well.
"I promise." Bradley nodded, feeling very good about himself since he had gained your trust.
"Okay." The hesitation flashed before your eyes just like it had with him earlier. You took a deep breath and spoke. "The 3 days the remote control to the TV was lost, I had hidden it so you were forced to talk to me."
Bradley didn't let his jaw drop, or laugh. He controlled his emotions, pressing his lips together, even though inside he was freaking out about it. Your little plotting had worked because in those three days Bradley did start talking to you way more than he usually did. Bradley recalled being very annoyed when he had missed the Eagles game last week, but he wasn’t very upset about it now. It felt good to hear that. It felt even better to know you would go to those measures for him to open up to you. Bradley glanced at your poker face, he had a feeling of the silence and his lack of reaction might be driving you crazy. He didn't want to judge you, so he decided to admit something as well.
"When you kiss Giovanna goodbye, I get a little jealous I don't get a bye bye kiss." Bradley turned to look at you and you started to erupt In a fit of giggles. "You can't laugh." Brad bent one of his legs up, trying not to laugh at himself. Your room was turning into a confessional, because there were a lot of things both of you had on your mind.
"Sorry, I'm not judging at all." You put your hands out in defense. The Thanksgiving dinner, and watching football games for him proved you still cared about him. But hearing it was a whole different feeling. He thought the conversation was over but you revealed another thought.
"When I go out with a new guy and he does something I don't like. I think Bradley would never."
Bradley hated thinking about you going out with another guy, but it was nice to know that you held him as the standard or expectation. You still thought of him the same way, he did with you. Your eyes anticipated his next admission. Bradley let out a little laugh at how eager you looked.
"Can't laugh." You pointed a scolding finger at him. He put his arms up in surrender like you did not too long ago. Bradley wasn't sure he wanted to admit his thoughts, he was sure that he was way more screwed in the head then you.
"You left a perfume bottle in the apartment when we broke up. Sometimes when I get lonely-" Bradley let out a nervous laugh while shaking his head. He was gonna regret this later. "I spray the perfume on my pillow, so it's like...I'm laying next to you." Bradley physically couldn't face you, so he started to rub his forehead. There was no laugh, or gasp from you. Just acceptance and no judgement. But he didn't know your facial expression since he was too embarrassed to face you.
"I have a shoe box dedicated to you. It's got souvenirs of our relationship in it."
"I already know that one." Bradley ignorantly blurted out before he could think. A gasp came out of your lips and you swatted his shoulder in disbelief.
"How do you know that?"
Bradley was a red mess now. He was sure his ears were crimson, like every other time he laughed too much or got embarrassed. "When I went to get batteries in your closet. I found the box." Bradley bucked his hips up and reached into his front pocket. He pulled out the flat grey rock with googly eyes.
"I know this was missing!" You shrieked out snatching the pet rock from out of his palm, the contact made his heart rate pick up. You must go through the box often, if you knew the rock was missing. "Start confessing before I throw Erile at your head." You smiled at him once he finally had the courage to face you again. Erile, that was the stupid rock’s name, he had been trying to figure that out for weeks.
"I don't want to say anything. Your confessions are so mild compared to mine." Bradley chuckled trying his best to maintain eye contact with you. You placed the pet rock on his folded knee.
"Fine, I'll give you two." You hummed and looked up at the ceiling trying to think of some. Still had the cutest thinking face he had ever seen. "Alright, here's one. I learned how to play piano. So I can play great balls of fire because-"
You cut yourself off reaching for the rock but Bradley grabbed it off his knee before you could. Last time he tried teaching you basic piano skills, you ended up on his lap, while you requested him to play song after song.
"Your second one?"
"Every day I listen to the Playlist you made for me." That made him smile. Because he wasn't a passing thought, but one tattooed in your brain. But still your confession was as crazy as the ones he's committed. Bradley pressed down at the plastic googly as and began to state his secret.
"When I get deployed, I take all your past letters out of my attic and put them in my bag. Then when I'm in my bunk, I pretend like I'm reading them for the first time. When in reality I have all of them memorized… I find it crazy that somebody loved me that hard."
"Baby I still love you that hard." You admitted with a laugh. Once you realized what you had said, you were quick to move past it like it didn't happen. Bradley didn't get a chance to say his I love you too, since you moved on to your confession. "I bought some expensive crystals. Hoping it's magic would have you forgive me."
Bradley started laughing, now realizing why he saw pretty colored rocks everywhere around the house. "How's that working out for you?" Bradley smirked.
"Mh well you're talking to me right now, so I'd say pretty damn good." Your laughter is always his favorite melody. He wasn't into the whole hippy chick zodiac thing. But right now- god bless those god damn stupid rocks. This was probably the best night he had in your two months living here with him. Bradley placed the pet rock down on your white sheets, wondering if he should shut.
"I got a good one." Bradley crossed his arms over his chest. Don't say it, don't say it, don't say it.
"Let's hear it." You mimicked his pose crossing your arms as well. It felt like he was picking the petal off a flower. She loves me, she loves me not. She ironically loves me... or not.
"My biggest regret was not marrying you when I had the chance."
That was the final comment that left you speechless. It's like both of you were trying to outdo one another, instead of realizing the things that were being spoken out loud. You bit your bottom lip, shaking your head. Every time you cried your bottom lip would quiver and jutt out, so you bit it to prevent it. The last thing he wanted to do was have you upset with him.
"Bradley I'm so-" Bradley gently brushed his lips over yours. Not long enough to be considered a kiss but maybe an accident. But you were so caught up with the past the action of intimacy went unnoticed by you. "I can't do anything besides say I'm sorry one hundred times. And say some bullshit like I wish I could take back the past. If you gave me a second chance I would not mess it up." You rambled on letting the tears pool at your eyes. Your earlier confessions didn't compare to the amount of emotions that went through your eyes in these few seconds. "Please, you didn't even offer me a second chance. But I would wait now Bradley. Whatever you wanna do, I'm with you. If you want me to change, I would. My biggest regret is even thinking about somebody else when you were everything I have ever wanted."
You sniffled, wiping at your runny nose. A soft smile came on your lips that read, it's okay if you wanna keep pushing me away. None of your love letters when He was deployed had compared to this moment. It felt like everything was right in the universe. All the years of wondering and yearning were being said out loud. Bradley still loved you, and you still loved Bradley. Both of you had always been sure.
"C'mere." Bradley said with open arms. You hesitated before scooting closer and his arms were wrapped around your waist and your face was pressed to his chest. The missing piece of the puzzle was finally put into place. "I forgive you." Bradley muttered into your hair, kissing the crown of your head.
"Really?"
"With my whole heart." Bradley wasn't lying one bit, he forgave you. He was over with all the, ignoring you and pretending like he didn't see your kind gestures. Bradley had figured out his feelings, and never felt so sure of somebody before.
Taking care of Giovanna got stressful sometimes and going through the emotions of lost loved ones was tough. But with each other it felt like you could manage it together. These were the roughest times both of you would be going through, and it was better to do it together then separate.
AHHHHHHH! 🦔 I said give me 3 or 5 days to write this. I meant 10 to 20 business days hahaha. So sorry for the wait, I hoped you liked it. Cheers to my first request <3
Tw: cussing, angst, choking, bruises
Part 2
The lights in Stark Tower dim on a gentle cycle—cool and golden like a fading sunset. You rub your eyes as the hallway stretches quiet and long before you, socks sliding soft over polished floors.
It’s late.
And you're exhausted.
You offer a tired goodnight to Steve, who nods with a warm smile from the common room couch, book half-forgotten in his lap.
Behind you… Bucky follows.
Silently. Footsteps so soft for a man made of steel and shadows.
You glance back at him. “You don’t have to follow me now,” you murmur, voice laced with sleep.
He tilts his head.
“Protection” he says simply.
Not a question.
A statement.
You bite your lip and nod—too tired to argue, too soft-hearted to tell him no. Still, anxiety coils in your gut.
You grab your Stark Phone and speed-dial Tony.
He answers after three rings, voice groggy and annoyed. “If this is about him eating toothpaste, I swear to God—”
“Tony,” you whisper. “He’s following me. Into my room.”
Pause.
“...Okay, that’s less funny. Still not my problem. Give him a blanket or something.”
“I don’t think he knows what blankets are, let alone boundaries,” you say, glancing at the man shadowing your every move like a silent sentinel.
“Yeah, well—RoboCop's not getting his own room until you've got him fully housetrained—Congrats, Thumbelina. You’re now the proud owner of a six-foot trauma-soaked heat-seeking murder puppy. Mazel tov.”
You sigh.
He hangs up.
You push open your bedroom door and slip inside, flicking on the lamp with a soft click.
The light spills across the room in a warm wash—cream walls, soft bedding, a shelf of books you haven’t had time to finish. It’s a safe space. Your space.
The Soldier follows.
And pauses.
Like an animal entering unfamiliar territory.
You move to the dresser, trying not to act weird. “I’m just getting ready for bed. You can—um… you can sit? Over there?”
He stands by the door. Watching.
Every mirror, every shadow, every flicker of movement, he tracks it all. Head snapping slightly, expression unreadable.
And then JARVIS speaks.
“Good evening, Miss. Shall I dim the—”
CLANG.
You whip around just in time to see him move—smooth and deadly, like a switch flipped inside his skull.
Arm raised, metal hand snapping toward a wall panel like he’s going to actually rip JARVIS straight out of the drywall.
“Shit—No!” you squeak, rushing forward.
He throws a glance over his shoulder—tense, locked in—but the moment his eyes meet yours, the storm stalls. His breathing is shallow. Pupils blown wide. JARVIS had startled him.
“Room compromised,” he says, clipped.
You place a hand on his arm—his flesh arm—and slowly ease him back.
“That’s just JARVIS. He’s… he’s like a ghost that lives in the walls, okay?”
He blinks. “...Ghost?”
You smile nervously. “He won’t hurt anyone.”
Slowly… so slowly… he lowers his arm.
But his eyes never stop moving.
You set your clothes down for the morning and glance over to find him standing in the corner, half-shadowed, metal hand flexing subtly at his side. Not speaking. Not relaxing.
Just watching.
“Do you… do you want to sleep?” you offer gently. “I could make a spot—on the wee couch, or…”
He doesn’t answer. But when you climb into bed, turn off the lamp, and settle under your blanket, you hear the smallest creak of the floor.
He moves.
He sits in the corner.
Back against the wall.
Facing the door.
Soldier on guard.
Watching.
Protecting.
Sometime in the night, you wake to a strange stillness.
The room is dark, but you can feel his presence.
Eyes heavy with sleep, you lift your head and see him still there—knees drawn up, eyes open.
He hasn’t moved.
Not once.
You whisper, “You can rest, too, you know…”
He says nothing.
But for the first time, his head tilts.
The soft hum of Stark Tower fills the silence like a heartbeat in a hollow chest. The skyline glows faint behind your blackout curtains, and somewhere distant, JARVIS murmurs about internal diagnostics.
But inside your room, there’s stillness.
You’ve long since drifted off to sleep, curled beneath layers of blankets, your breathing steady and quiet.
Across the room, seated in the corner where he’s kept watch for hours, Bucky or 'Soldat' is also asleep.
Or… trying.
His back is pressed against the wall, legs drawn in tight, arms rigid across his lap. He hadn’t meant to sleep. Hadn’t wanted to.
A whimper broke the silence. Bucky's head thrashed from side to side, his long hair flicking across his face with the movement. His metal fingers twitched and clenched.
But the moment his eyes had closed, the nightmare came.
His breath hitches.
It starts in his chest like a tremor, then takes hold—harder, faster. Metal fingers twitch. His jaw tightens. In the dark, his eyes move behind closed lids.
Russian words tumbled from his lips as his movements grew more agitated. Sweat beaded on his forehead as whatever nightmare has him in its grip tightened its hold.
Restraints.
Cold.
Hands.
Falling.
Needles.
The chair.
Pain.
The voice.
Pain.
That voice.
Pain.
"missiya" mission.
He jerks upright with a sudden violent inhale, like he’s surfacing from deep underwater. For a heartbeat, he’s not in Stark Tower.
He’s not in your bedroom.
He’s back in Siberia.
You jolt awake instantly—some part of your brain registering the shift in energy before your eyes even open.
But it’s too late.
The weight of a body is over you, the cold wrap of vibranium fingers tight around your throat.
He’s straddled you before his eyes even fully focus, breath ragged and guttural like a wolf mid-attack. There’s no recognition in his face—just movement.
You can’t breathe.
Your hands claw instinctively at his wrist—not to hurt him, just to get air.
Your voice comes out as a whisper, a desperate plea.
“Soldat—!”
The grip loosens instantly.
His eyes go wide.
Recognition blooms like a bomb going off in his chest.
He scrambles backward, nearly falling off the bed as his breath hitches and catches.
You swear for a second he looks at you like he’s seen a ghost.
“Handler,” he breathes, voice hollow.
A beat.
Then—
"Awaiting instructions, doll."
Ok—that's new—what the fuc—
The endearment slipped out, seemingly without his awareness.
Wait.
His voice.
You freeze.
The accent—it’s... lessened.
Still there, still faint, but there’s a tremor of something else beneath it. Something almost American. Like muscle memory from a past self is bleeding back in.
You massaged your throat, watching him warily. "What did you just call me?" you managed, your voice raspy.
You look at him—he’s curled into himself now, pressed against the far edge of your bed like he wants to disappear into the wall.
“Cryostasis?” he mutters.
A tremor starting in his flesh hand.
You frowned, confused by the unfamiliar term. "Cryostasis? What's that?" you asked cautiously.
His eyes darted to your face, then away, as though even acknowledging the question might be a violation of protocol.
"Cold comes. Then nothing." His odd new accent stumbled over the clinical description.
You whisper, “It’s okay.”
His head shakes—once, hard. “No.”
“That is not going to happen,” you say softly.
He doesn’t answer.
You reach for him—not fast, not aggressive. Just enough to brush your fingers against his sleeve. You’re shaking. So is he.
“I shouldn’t have woken you like that,” you whisper.
His eyes flash to yours.
“You shouldn’t come near me.”
He says it like a warning. Like he’s dangerous. A loaded weapon without a safety.
The morning light leaks into Stark Tower through sleek glass panels, catching dust motes in golden slants. The smell of coffee and toast drifts from the communal kitchen as the Avengers mill around in various states of half-awake bickering.
Tony is already three steps ahead, tapping away at a holographic interface while bemoaning someone using his milk.
You step inside, shoulders pulled in, your oversized hoodie swallowing your frame. Your neck is artfully concealed—layers of makeup, your hair tucked to one side, collar tugged high. You don’t want them to see.
Behind you, Bucky moves like a shadow—soundless but ever-present. His eyes never leave you. He doesn’t acknowledge the others.
“Jesus,” Clint mutters under his breath, low enough that only Natasha hears. “He’s still glued to her.”
Natasha doesn’t respond. Her eyes are locked on Bucky. Calculating.
Steve is seated at the far end of the room, newspaper in one hand, coffee in the other—but when you walk in, his eyes lift over the rim of the mug. They soften. Then narrow.
Then shift to the Soldier.
Something is off.
Tony glances up from his projections.
“Morning, Thumbelina,” he greets, in that usual teasing voice he uses when pretending not to care too much. Then his gaze flicks to you again—and he stills.
You’re not quite fast enough with your coffee mug.
His eyes catch the edge of discoloration peeking beneath your concealer—faint, but unmistakable. A handprint, forming from throat to jaw. Not quite healed. Not quite hidden.
His expression drops.
“What the hell is that?”
You freeze mid-sip.
The room goes quiet.
Tony’s voice cuts the air like a blade. “That better not be what I think it is.”
Your throat closes. “Tony—”
“I knew it. I knew the 'silent Soviet scarecrow' routine was just a breath away from having a full-on Hulk-themed episode!”
Bucky reacts instantly.
The tension in his shoulders coils tight like a sprung trap. His jaw clenches, head snapping toward Stark like a weapon finding a target.
One step forward—fast. Direct.
“Back down.”
His voice is low, cold. His accent is faded but not gone—words flatter, more clipped. American ghosts clinging to Russian steel.
Steve’s head tilts.
Tony lifts his hands, mockingly. “Oh, look at that! RoboRambo speaks. Did they teach you that in murder school or is that the accent of a guy trying to remember who he used to be?”
Bucky’s fist tightens. Metal groaning.
Your hand shoots out, placing it on his chest.
“Doll,” he says instantly, like the word grounds him.
"Stand Down ... Please"
He nods.
But his attention doesn’t leave you.
Not for one second.
Steve stands slowly. Not threatening. Just observing.
“You hear that?” he says quietly to the room, gaze on Stark but words aimed at Bucky. “His voice. It’s… changing.”
“Changing into what?” Tony mutters, pacing slightly now. “The warm tones of someone who nearly crushed her windpipe in her sleep?”
Bucky flinches. It’s subtle—but it’s there.
“Tony, please,” you whisper. “It wasn’t his fault.”
“Oh, no, I forgot—brainwashing, programming, whatever. But forgive me if I don’t want my employees being used as a therapy animal for the man who can snap necks like breadsticks!”
Bucky stares blankly.
None of the names or faces mean anything to him.
But the tension rising in you—that registers.
He steps protectively between you and Tony.
“Neutralize the threat,” he says coldly.
“No, no—” Your hands are shaking. “Don’t do that. There’s no threat. Tony’s just… being Tony.”
“Irritating?” Clint offers, trying to diffuse the moment. “Yeah, he’s great at that.”
Steve crosses the room slowly.
“Bucky,” he tries.
The Soldier’s gaze doesn’t flicker. His expression doesn’t change.
There’s no flicker of recognition in those eyes. Only patience. Obedience. A mind made of shattered glass slowly piecing itself back together.
You guide him gently to the table. He lets you. When you move, he follows. When you speak, he listens.
But when others speak?
He blinks. No comprehension.
“Why doesn’t he know us?” Natasha asks softly. Her words are for Steve.
“I don’t know,” Steve murmurs. “But the accent fading… that’s gotta be memory. It means someone’s still in there.”
Tony crosses his arms, looking you dead in the eye. “You need to be honest with us. If you’re in danger—”
“I’m not.”
“You could’ve died.”
“But I didn’t,” you say. Your voice is small. “And he stopped the second he realized.”
“And then went right back to calling you ‘Handler,’” Tony snaps.
Pairing: Robert ‘Bob’ Reynolds x reader
Summary: Y/N and Bob had a life before he disappear, full of love, hope, and a lot of chaos, but they managed each other, she was the only one who truly could make him avoid the void inside his mind. How could he turn his only light into a shadow in his mind ?
Note: I wrote this with Sunshine & Rain.. By Kali Uchis, feel free to enjoy this with that on repeat to really feel it burn. Also please somebody give me HD gifs asap. Also if you hadn't read the preview yet, I recommend it!
Word count: 4,7k
Preview
--
The fluorescent lights buzzed overhead, casting an ugly green tinge over the already-drab walls of the 23rd Precinct. Y/N pushed the door open with her elbow, hands full—one holding a stack of wrinkled flyers with Bob’s photo on them, the other clutching the hem of her coat closed.
The front desk officer didn’t even look up.
The bell above the door had long since stopped ringing for her.
She shuffled to the counter. She was wearing the same hoodie she always wore—his hoodie, oversized and faintly smelling of old laundry detergent and smoke. Her stomach was just beginning to curve outward, subtle but undeniable beneath the fabric. Four months.
“Hey, Ms. Y/L/N,” the desk sergeant mumbled without meeting her eyes. “You’re back.”
She placed the flyers down with quiet urgency. “I printed new ones. Better quality. I added a note about the reward this time, in case someone’s seen him.”
The sergeant sighed, his pen clinking on the desk as he leaned back.
“I told you last time. No new leads.”
“I’m not asking for a miracle,” she said, trying to keep her voice steady. “Just—please check if anything came in since last week. A tip. A sighting. A… a body, no, not that, but anything really.”
A uniformed officer behind the counter—young, smug, cruel in that casual way people are when they forget you’re human—snorted. “Lady, you know the guy was a junkie, right? Odds are he got tired of playing house and ran off when the stick turned pink.”
Y/N’s heart splintered. Her hands clenched the flyers. “Don’t—don’t you dare say that about him.”
He shrugged. “C’mon. You don’t have to be a detective to figure it out. He got high and vanished. People like that don’t come back. Especially not to play Daddy.”
“He’s not like that!” she shouted, her voice cracking.
The room went quiet.
A throat cleared gently behind her.
“Y/N?” came the familiar rasp of Officer Cooper, stepping out from a side hallway. Silver-haired and weathered, he’d been on the force longer than most of the others had been alive. He always spoke softly, like he didn’t want to scare away whatever kindness he still believed in.
Y/N blinked back tears and turned.
“Let’s take a walk,” Cooper said, putting a hand on her shoulder. “Come on. Let’s get some air.”
--
Outside, the sky was overcast. Cold. Cooper lit a cigarette but didn’t offer her one.
They stood in silence next to the station’s rusted bench. She stared down at the pavement, at her frayed shoelaces, at the grey world around her.
Then she broke.
“I can’t sleep, Mr. Cooper,” she whispered, voice small. “I dream about him every night. I wake up thinking maybe he’s home, maybe I missed a call. But then it’s just me. Just me and this baby. I don’t know what I’m doing—I don’t have money, I don’t have family. He was my family.”
Cooper nodded slowly, his expression unreadable.
“I know you’ve been kind,” she said, her voice rising. “You’ve listened. But I need more. I need you to put more people on this. I need you to look for him like he’s not just some addict you all gave up on.”
She wiped her face with her sleeve. Her tears soaked through it instantly.
“Please. Just… just try. For me. For him. For our child. Bobby wouldn’t leave me. Not like this. Not without a word. Not him.”
Cooper took a long drag from his cigarette. Then sighed.
“There’s something I have to tell you.”
She froze.
His eyes softened, like he wished he could lie. Like he hated what he was about to do.
“We finally traced a lead. Someone matching Bob’s description was seen boarding a flight out of the country.”
She couldn’t breathe.
“Where?”
“Malaysia,” he said quietly.
The word hit her like a sledgehammer.
“No,” she whispered. “That’s… no, he wouldn’t… He didn’t have money. He didn’t have a passport.”
“He did,” Cooper said, sadly. “We checked. It was valid. Bought the ticket in cash. No forwarding contact. No signs of foul play.”
She staggered back, her body suddenly too heavy. Her hand flew to her belly as if to anchor herself.
“So… you’re saying he left me.”
“I’m saying,” Cooper murmured, “that we don’t believe he vanished. We believe he made a choice.”
“No,” she choked. “No, he didn’t. He loved me. We were building a life. He called me his miracle. We were deciding on a name. He cried when I told him. He held me all night and said he’d never leave.”
Cooper looked down at his shoes.
“I know, kid.”
Tears streamed down her face now, silent and relentless.
“I waited. Every day, I waited,” she sobbed. “I believed in him. I still do. He’s sick, not a monster. You’re telling me he abandoned his child before the baby was even born?”
Cooper said nothing. There was nothing to say.
Finally, she whispered, “Is he coming back ? Did he buy two tickets? He did, right, to come back to me, to us?”
Cooper crushed the cigarette beneath his boot.
“One way ticket. Maybe it's better if u go home, take a breath, and just... you can call me, ok ? I have a daughter just like you and she's an amzing mother, you will be too. You have to go to work, just rest.”
She just looked at the flyers in her hand. For months he just disappear, all her money spent in paper, organizing searches, paying potential dealers for a tip of his whereabouts.
"So this is it?"
--
2 years ago
The Cluckin’ Bucket wasn’t exactly a place dreams were made of.
The fluorescent lights buzzed overhead like a swarm of angry flies, flickering over cracked linoleum tiles and chipped yellow walls. The scent of fried oil hung in the air like a second skin, clinging to every surface. It was 11:43 PM, just seventeen minutes before closing, and the only two souls left inside were Y/N, wiping down tables, and Bob, in the back room, peeling off the heavy, foam-rubber chicken costume that had been slowly cooking him alive for eight hours.
He winced as he pulled the beak off his head, his sweat-damp hair sticking up in odd places. His T-shirt clung to his back, his jeans sagged slightly on his hips, and his bones ached in that weird, chemically induced way that only came from a cocktail of meth and shame.
He hadn’t wanted this job.
He sure as hell hadn’t wanted the chicken suit.
But here he was—twenty-something, barely scraping by, dancing on a street corner in 95-degree heat to try and convince people to buy discount wings.
He tucked the suit away in its plastic bag, sighing, and padded into the dining area, rubbing the back of his neck.
And then he saw her.
Y/N.
The new waitress.
She was crouched in front of the soda machine, elbow-deep in the syrup line, her hair pulled back in a loose ponytail, earbuds dangling from her neck. She was humming something—Fleetwood Mac, he thought—but he couldn’t be sure.
She wore her name tag crooked on her chest, and there was a smudge of sauce on her cheek.
But to him? She looked like she belonged in a painting.
He froze for a second too long, just staring.
God, she was pretty. And he was in a chicken suit just minutes ago. And probably still smelled like sweat and fryer grease. Cool. Real smooth.
She glanced up—and caught him.
Her eyebrows rose a little. Her mouth quirked.
“Robert, right?” she asked, tilting her head. Her voice was warm, amused, like she already knew the answer.
His throat caught. “Uh. Yeah. Bob, actually.”
“Bob,” she repeated, like she was trying it on. “Can you help me with something?”
“Sure,” he said too quickly.
She straightened, gesturing toward a box at her feet. “I’m trying to get this up to the top shelf, but it’s heavier than it looks and my arms are, like, noodles right now.”
He nodded and stepped forward, kneeling to lift the box without much effort. He was wiry, but stronger than he looked. She watched him, subtly biting the corner of her lip.
“Thanks,” she said as he set the box down on the shelf. “You’re stronger than you look.”
He gave a sheepish laugh, rubbing his arm. “Yeah, well… spinning a giant arrow for eight hours a day builds muscles, I guess.”
She smiled. “Don’t sell yourself short. That costume? Kinda iconic.”
He turned bright red. “Oh, God.”
“What?” she teased. “I think it’s cute.”
“Cute?”
“Yeah,” she said, wiping her hands on a rag. “I mean, it takes a certain kind of confidence to dance in a chicken suit and not die of embarrassment.”
He snorted. “More like a lack of options.”
There was a pause—just a second too long.
“Still,” she said, voice softer now, “You’ve got a good smile, Bob.”
He blinked. “What?”
“I said, you’ve got a good smile.”
He swallowed, heart hammering for no reason he could explain. She was looking at him. Not through him. Not with pity. Just… seeing him. And it had been a long time since someone had done that.
They started talking more after that.
Little things. Jokes during their shifts. Late-night scraps of conversation while wiping down counters or restocking sauces. She’d bring him a free soda when she noticed him flagging. He’d sweep her section when her feet were too tired to move. Neither of them said it out loud, but it became something—a rhythm, a comfort.
He never told her about the drugs.
But she saw the shadows under his eyes. The way his hands shook sometimes. The way he chewed his inner cheek when he thought no one was looking. She didn’t ask, and he was grateful.
Until that one night.
They were walking out together. The parking lot was empty, bathed in yellow streetlight. The air was thick with humidity. Bob carried his bag over his shoulder, still fidgeting with the zipper.
Y/N was quiet beside him, arms crossed over her chest.
They reached the edge of the lot. Her car was parked beneath the flickering sign.
He stopped. She didn’t.
Then, she turned back.
“Hey,” she said. “Can I ask you something?”
He nodded slowly. “Yeah. Sure.”
“Do you have a girlfriend?”
He blinked. “Uh. No. Why?”
She smiled—and it knocked the air out of him.
“Just wondering,” she said, stepping a little closer. “Because if you don’t… I was wondering when you were going to ask me out.”
He stared at her, stunned.
“I—I mean—I didn’t think you’d—why would you—” he stammered.
She laughed, shaking her head. “Bob. I like you.”
He swallowed. “You do?”
“Yeah,” she said. “Even with the chicken suit.”
And then, because his body moved before his fear could stop him, he smiled—wide and real.
“I… would really like that.”
“Good,” she said, walking backwards toward her car, grinning. “Then don’t keep me waiting.”
He stood in the parking lot long after she drove away, heart pounding, a dumb grin on his face.
For the first time in years, the night didn’t feel so heavy.
--
Central Park in the early evening was dipped in gold.
The last fingers of sunlight threaded through the leaves like warm lace, casting dappled shadows on the grass. It was one of those rare New York days—cool but not cold, the air kissed with early autumn, the sky a watercolor blend of lavender and peach.
Bob stood awkwardly near a bench beneath a sycamore tree, tugging at the hem of his second-best flannel. His fingers twitched in his jacket pocket, where he kept the meth pipe he hadn’t touched in two days.
He was sweating.
Not from the weather.
From her.
Because Y/N was there, spreading out a gingham blanket on the grass near the edge of a pond, her hair tucked behind her ears, a small cooler bag next to her feet.
She looked like someone who belonged in the light.
He still wasn’t convinced he deserved to be sitting beside her in it.
“Okay,” she said, brushing imaginary dust from the blanket. “Don’t laugh. I made too much.”
Bob walked over slowly, hands in his pockets, watching as she pulled out a series of plastic containers and neatly wrapped foil packets. Sandwiches. Potato salad. Tiny cupcakes with blue frosting that had clearly been made with care. Even folded napkins.
“Holy crap,” he said, blinking. “Did you raid a deli or something?”
She grinned. “No, I made it. I… I like cooking.”
“For me?”
She looked at him like it was obvious. “Yeah. Who else would I be trying to impress, Bob?”
He knelt on the blanket, legs crossed, still a little stiff, watching her with barely restrained disbelief. “I just… I’ve never had anyone… you know. Do something like this. For me.”
She shrugged, setting a container between them. “Well, now you have.”
He picked up a sandwich, still stunned. “You made all this… for a guy who dresses like a poultry mascot?”
She chuckled. “I happen to like that guy.”
Bob opened his mouth to respond, but nothing came out. He just smiled—a shy, crooked thing—and took a bite.
Bob sat on the edge of the picnic blanket, chewing slowly, trying not to look too shocked by how good the sandwich in his hand was. “Okay,” he said between bites, “you’re going to have to explain to me how you made this taste like something from an actual restaurant. What’s in this?”
Y/N grinned, tucking a napkin under her leg to keep it from blowing away. “Nothing fancy. Chicken, basil, a little Dijon, homemade aioli—”
“H-homemade? Who even makes aioli? That’s, like, elite-level cooking.”
“I like cooking,” she said simply, with a shrug. “It calms me down. Helps me feel like I’ve got control over something, you know?”
He nodded slowly, finishing the last of the sandwich. “Yeah, I get that. It’s like spinning that dumb arrow—kinda zen, if you ignore the back pain.”
She laughed. “That’s tragic. I cook to relax, and you give yourself arthritis.”
“Hey, I’m not proud.”
She passed him a small container of fruit salad, their knees brushing slightly under the blanket. There was a breeze picking up, threading through the grass, fluttering the corners of the gingham cloth. In the distance, a dog barked, and somewhere near the pond a violinist had started playing faintly.
“You live with roommates? Alone?” Bob asked suddenly, trying to picture what her place might look like. “Your kitchen’s probably better than mine. Mine’s got, like, one working burner and a fridge that sounds like it’s dying.”
She hesitated, then looked down at her hands. “Actually… I live alone now.”
His brows lifted slightly, sensing the shift in her voice.
“I didn’t always,” she continued. “My ex boyfriend and I used to live together, in this little apartment off Bedford. It was cramped, noisy, walls were paper-thin… but it was kind of cozy. It felt like ours.”
Bob stayed quiet, letting her speak.
“He left about nine months ago,” she said. “For someone else. Someone with shinier hair and a ‘real’ job, probably. I don’t know. One day he said he didn’t love me anymore, and that was that.”
Bob’s chest tightened.
“I’m sorry,” he said softly.
She waved a hand, but her smile was tinged with something older than the moment. “It sucked. But if he hadn’t left, I wouldn’t have taken the job at Cluckin’ Bucket. Wouldn’t have ended up on night shifts. Wouldn’t have met you.”
He blinked, thrown. “That’s… wow. You really think that’s a good trade?”
She shrugged again, but this time with a little smile. “I’m here with you, aren’t I?”
Bob looked down at the cupcakes, the homemade food, the folded napkins. All for him.
He cleared his throat. “I just don’t get it. How someone could be with you and let you slip through their fingers. That guy had the f—freaking lottery ticket and he just… walked away?”
She glanced at him, visibly surprised by the fire in his voice.
“I mean it,” Bob said, quieter now. “If it were me… I’d never let you go.”
The moment stretched between them, warm and tender.
She looked at him for a long time, something soft and wounded behind her eyes.
“You’re sweet, Bob,” she said quietly.
“I’m not,” he replied without thinking. “Not really. But I want to be.”
Her lips parted like she wanted to say something else, but instead she reached for another sandwich.
They sat in silence again, this time heavier.
Then Bob spoke, his voice rough.
“I don’t have anyone either,” he said. “No family. No ties. Just a bunch of mistakes and a backpack that smells like old socks.”
She looked at him. “No one at all?”
He shrugged. “Not since my mom passed. My dad was… not really in the picture. I’ve kinda just been floating since then.”
“Me too,” she said. “It’s like… we’re both ghosts in a city full of people who have somewhere to be.”
That hit him harder than he expected.
He nodded slowly, chewing the inside of his cheek.
“I always thought,” he murmured, “that maybe I was just built to be alone. Like I was meant to burn out early. Some people are just… too messed up to fit.”
She leaned toward him, brushing a thumb gently against his hand.
“You’re not messed up,” she whispered. “You’re just… lost. And that’s not the same thing.”
His heart nearly stopped.
“You’re the first person who’s ever said that,” he admitted.
“Then everyone else was wrong.”
He didn’t know what came over him then—maybe it was the sunset or the food or the warmth of her fingers against his—but he turned toward her, and for once, he didn’t feel ashamed.
“Can I… see you again?” he asked.
Her eyes crinkled with a smile.
“I was hoping you’d say that.”
--
present day
The apartment was still.
Still in the way a place only gets after someone is gone—not just physically, but really gone. Like the soul of the place had followed them out the door and taken all the warmth with it.
The late afternoon sun filtered weakly through the dusty blinds, casting long stripes across the bed where Y/N lay curled on her side. Their bed. His side still had the indent of his body, even after months. She hadn’t brought herself to sleep on it, like maybe the dip in the mattress could hold his shape long enough for him to come back and fill it.
Her hand cradled the curve of her growing belly. Just past four months. She was showing now. Her body knew, even if the world didn’t care.
Across from her on the nightstand were the pictures—cheap Polaroids and one dog-eared photo booth strip from Coney Island, taped crookedly to the wall. Bob’s stupid half-smile grinned back at her in every frame. The one where he was pretending to flex with a corndog in hand. The one where he looked away, caught off-guard, cheeks red from laughing at something she said.
Her thumb brushed the edge of the picture. Her throat burned.
“God, Bobby…” Her voice cracked, barely above a whisper.
A fresh wave of tears pressed from behind her eyes and spilled freely down her cheek, soaking into the pillow. She clutched the blanket tighter with one hand and her belly with the other.
“You left,” she murmured. “You really left.”
She bit her lip so hard it nearly split, the ache in her chest unbearable.
“I defended you. I told them you’d never run. I called every hospital, every shelter. Put up posters with your face in every goddamn corner of this city. I begged the police to keep looking because I knew something was wrong. I thought maybe you were in trouble, or hurt… or…”
Her voice broke, raw and low.
“Turns out you were just gone. Just—just done.”
She sat up slowly, wiping her face with the sleeve of Bob’s old hoodie—still too big on her, still faintly smelling like him, like cologne and smoke and something warmer.
“You saved up that money. You actually planned this,” she whispered, hollow. “You looked me in the eye… kissed me goodnight, touched our baby, and you already knew you weren’t coming back.”
Her breath hitched as her hand moved over the swell of her belly, as if trying to protect the child from the truth pressing in.
“You knew I was pregnant. And you still left. That’s what makes it worse. Not the addiction. Not the lies. That. You knew, and it didn’t stop you.”
The silence that followed was deafening.
“I gave up everything trying to find you, Bobby,” she said, louder now, choking on the grief. “I drained what little savings I had. Every cent I scraped together went to flyers, gas, private search sites. I even hired some guy off Craigslist who said he could ‘track people down for a price.’ That was three hundred dollars I’ll never get back.”
She laughed bitterly through her tears.
“I work double shifts now just to stay afloat. Still serving greasy food to assholes who think I’m invisible—coming home to this empty fucking apartment, sleeping in a bed that feels like a coffin.”
She fell back onto the pillow and stared up at the ceiling, her chest rising and falling in short, shallow breaths.
“I really thought you were different,” she whispered. “I did. I thought… maybe this time, it wouldn’t end with someone leaving. I really get left for everything else at this point, not good enough, prettier women, drugs. And maybe that’s worse. Because at least he looked me in the eye and said goodbye. Or maybe…did you find a better woman Bobby?”
Her lips trembled as another sob escaped.
“You said you loved me. You said we were in this together. We made something together, Bobby. We made a life. And you just… vanished.”
She reached for the ultrasound photo tucked into the drawer and held it to her chest.
“I swear he moves and grows everytime I cry,” she whispered. “Like he knows I need a distraction.”
She ran her hand down her belly again, slower this time.
“But I won’t let them grow up thinking he or she was a mistake. Or unworth staying for.”
The room felt unbearably quiet now. Still, again. But this time, colder.
She closed her eyes and curled tighter around herself, the photos, the baby. Everything she had left.
“I’ll do this without you,” she said softly. “Even if it breaks me.”
And in the stillness, in the tiny home they had built, she stares at the ceiling. Thinking. Doubting. Is this all that life can be ? How would she be able to take care of a little human? Maybe this baby wasn't meant for her. Maybe it was someone else's place to be their mom.
Maybe that's it.
Then I will wait. Just until the baby comes.
Looking for FIC help! Trying to find a fic that’s a Jake Seresin x reader(?) one ! My friend read it and recommended it to me but they can’t find it anywhere so— 🧎🧎🧎
They said it was obvi a Jake x reader where the dagger squad made the reader feel a bit scared/insecure! And there’s a moment where they break down in the hospital cause Jake got in an accident ! Making the daggers feel bad!