Sometimes, I Wish I Had Never Learned To Read... Because Then I Wouldn't Have To Read This Nonsense

10 months? Yet no playbills in sight

Yeah, to everyone who bought playbills, I don't think you will ever get it.

I mean, you might get it? But like in a year type situation. Where are you going through your mail and boom! Your playbill is here! And you completely forgot you got that.

That is what happened to me, but instead of playbill, it was a pin from Etsy.

(Honestly, you all are saints for this type of patience)

Just a daily reminder!

Remember, we are supposed to fear alastor more than the deadly 7 sins.

And how alastor a normal sinner is worse than the sins as well.

EDIT: This post is a joke. I'm really sorry if that wasn't made out to be clear 😅

NEW YEAR, NEW ME? (Pt. 3)

1/2/3

THIS IS NOT OK

HUGE TW: R4P3 & Death Threats

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I get it! We all hate/dislike Vivzie and think her and her depiction of certain groups and issues is gross!

BUT THIS IS NOT OK.

WISHING DEATH OR ASSAULT ON SOMEONE YOU HATE IS AND WILL ALWAYS NEVER BE OK.

Even if Vivzie and her team/friends have said/done horrible and vile things regarding S/A, wishing S/A, death, and R4P3 upon them is fucking disgusting.

PLEASE REPORT AND BLOCK THIS PERSON!!!

They do NOT represent the ideals and goals of the HH/HB critical community!

I REPEAT:

DO NOT ENGAGE WITH THEM. SIMPLY REPORT AND BLOCK THEM.

Now, I need to go take a shower and bleach my eyes.

i like the genre of animal photos where you can tell they just dipped their face into a carcass and they dont even care (artistic interpretation)

The treasures of my future

I cant stop thinking ab the idea of merlin one day post s5, where they all survived, becoming really secretive and protective of his room and not telling anyone at all whats inside. Not even gaius. He even gets a lock installed and whenever anybody asks he brushes it off with jokes like “its to stop arthur from finding me” or smth.

he also unrelatedly really hates any talk of destiny, going to war, and anytime morgana mentions her fear of her magic turning her merlin slightly freaks out.

That is until one day gaius manages to catch merlin off guard while hes rushing between the main room and his bedroom and walks in.

Only to see a whole bunch of stuff that hes never seen before.

Merlin freaks out, tries to play it off as some weird experiments and stuff hes been collecting but gaius can feel it, somethings different about these items, not wrong but not right. Not really magic either.

It takes 3 weeks of gaius pestering him before merlin breaks and explains to him that he IS A TIME TRAVELER. after the battle of camlan as we know it that lead to arthurs death, merlin did wait, he really did, but in the year 2020 when arthur didnt return for yet another global crisis, merlin broke and did spell upon spell until he figured out how throw himself back in time.

And holy shit did it work well. He managed to come back just at the perfect time to change everything that needed to be done to assure that everyone lives happily and safely, and when he realises hes done it, he decides to stay in this time. See his friends and family grow old as they should have. See arthur rule as he should have. Live the life he has been craving to go back to for centuries now.

Until a month in he realises how old everything is. Sure merlin can survive without his phone and stuff but theres a few things he really misses. Like his slippers, his potato peeler, his favourite hoodie, and especially his favourite tea flavours.

So once in a while he allowed himself to go back to the modern day and bring one thing back. He started with a scented candle, because candles exist in camelot and having one here shouldn’t mess up time right? Then moved onto a herbal tea that he knows if he traveled past the boarders he may be able to find similar ingredients.

Then he brings a new release of his favourite book series because he cant help it and realises small things like that dont change time.

And so thats what he’s been hiding away in his room, all of his modern day stuff. Ranging from trinkets hes collected over his life to his favourite scarf to his stuffed lion that he won at a fair in the 80s. He doesn’t go back often, only when his tea runs out or he really needs something, he tries to limit it he really does.

It takes gaius another 4 weeks to wrap his head around it all. Another 2 weeks after that to touch merlins stuffed lion thinking it may attack him at any moment.

He makes gaius promise to not tell a soul, offering him tea bags as payment. They have a nice system from then on, gaius would try a new flavour of tea everytime merlin returned, once in a while he would also bring a modern day snack (gaius yelled when he first tried salt and vinegar crisps).

A yell which led to leon finding out. And so a cycle began.

My issues with emberlynn valentines merch

■ I don't love how skinny she looks

■ her outfit is....okay? I mean it not the best but it not the worst. It just not giving sexy to me.

Overall, I like the pink and blue color scheme they picked out for her.

My slight edit/redesign of her:

■ I tried my best to give some of her chubbier body back, and I think I did a good job!

■ I made her have a more sexier pink outfit...why? Because we don't have a lot of sexier merch or merch in general of the fat characters we have in Hazbin or Helluva.

Morgana curses Arthur to become an animal (vermin to be precise).

He is now a mouse, small, universally disgusted, and easily killable by animals and other humans. Arthur had to navigate back from Morganas hut in the forest and find his way back to his castle and to Gaius.

He knows he could be eaten by a cat or an owl, be killed by the servants who spot him in the corridors, or get lost in the now very big Camelot. It takes him a whole two days to make his way back to the citadel

Morganas plan was genius one. He was invisible and helpless. He could be killed and no one would know or realise that they had killed their king while chasing a little forest mouse.

His journey takes him inside the castle, and while he’s roaming the corridors as a small mouse when he spots Merlin.

Merlin!

As he runs up to Merlin the idiot lights up. “Hello little one :D”

He bends down and scoops Arthur up into his (surprisingly large hands).

“Oh aren’t you just a sweet little thing? Don’t worry, I won’t tell cook I found you down here. You can stay in my pocket while I tidy the kings chambers”

Arthur knew that his friend had a soft spot for all animals, but really this was taking it a step too far. Allowing some random mouse he found crawling around the floor to accompany him into The Kings Private Chambers? Just so he could have some company while he tidies? What a dollophead.

Although…in this specific scenario…he supposed he could make an exception. Just this once. And as soon as he transforms back into his human self he will be having words with his servant about this absolutely ridiculous behaviour.

But for now Arhrur is safe in his silly manservant’s pocket. Silly, lovable Merlin, who just picked up a little mouse and decided to take it with him for the day because he was bored.

He stays curled up in Merlin’s neckerchief

(And he’s so totally normal about being this close to Merlin’s strong neck and chest. If he wasn’t cursed as a mouse he would be so normal about this)

It’s much later in the evening, while him and Merlin eat off of the Kings dinner plate (again, he will be having words about this), when the warning bell sounds.

The King is Missing!

I think it would be insanely funny if after Arthur’s death everyone returns back in time to the place they were the day Merlin arrived in Camelot. But like, everyone thinks they are the only ones who has returned. We see it all from Merlin’s pov, who’s traumatised and wondering why the fuck Arthur is so much sweeter to him this time around and keeps saying ‘thank you’. He wonders why Lancelot shows up earlier, why all of a sudden Gwaine is there three years too early, saying he got hurt in a tavern bawl and needs a physician. He wonders why Leon keeps pretending like he didn’t just accidentally see Merlin do magic. Why Gwen keeps giving him these knowing looks. And why Morgana doesn’t seem as afraid as she used to when she was figuring out that she had magic. Everyone is trying their best to change history for the better, thinking they are alone with this duty... and then one day when uther is dead and they are sitting around the round table, merlin steps forward and is like: ‘I need to confess that I have magic, but also that I have returned from the future.’ And everyone just whips around and is like ‘YOU TOO??!’ And then they realise that they’ve all returned and wasted their time thinking they were alone.

Empty my plate, fill my heart

It started small, with a sausage, a bit of egg, a few berries missing from Arthur's plate. He wouldn’t have noticed had Merlin not had traces of his thievery left on his lips.

Not that Arthur paid attention to Merlin's lips. Never. He wouldn’t.

Instead he requested the kitchen staff in person to increase his portions. It wasn’t by much but enough so Merlin could get his tribute and Arthur had enough energy for training with the knights.

Slowly the portions increased further, not that Arthur ate more, while the prince watched his manservant fill out his clothes, his face becoming softer although his cheek bones still stood out.

Now, if asked Arthur would deny it even under threat of death, but he was less scared for Merlin when he couldn't feel his vertebrae through at least two layers of clothing, or count his ribs whenever his tunic clung to his body.

With finally enough food Merlin built up muscle, the gangly boy turning into a handsome man. And Arthur knew he shouldn't look but there Merlin was, shouldering open his door while sneaking a raspberry into his mouth, the pink juice glistening on his lips. "Rise and shine, it's a beautiful day!"

Arthur rolled his eyes in exasperation. "Beautiful day and yet you have half your breakfast smeared over your face." His hand held Merlin's chin as the other gently wiped away the traces of fruit.

Arthur licked his thumb clean.

"The harvest was good this summer. I hope the fall has similar results." He humms in content.

Merlin stands and stares at him like a startled deer, his face slowly reddening in a blush and Arthur wonders how far it extends.

"My clothes for the day, Merlin. We have a lot to do," he reminds the servant as he begins his meal.

Merlin huffs and turns, barely missing the satisfied smile on Arthur's face.