Does Anyone Remember That Velvette Supposed To Be A Witch/potion Maker?

Arthur and Merlin decide to take the knights on a well-deserved vacation and Leon decides it's a good idea to create some rules to make sure everything goes well.

Leon: Okay, basic rules. First rule, no altering the number of lives on earth.

Gwaine: What the hell is that supposed to mean?

Leon: Glad you asked. It means I don't want anyone killing *looks at Merlin and Mordred*, anyone dying *looks at Arthur, Elyan, and Gwaine*, or anyone taking their own lives *looks at Arthur and Merlin*, and I especially don't want anyone creating lives after drinking too much at the tavern *looks specifically at Gwaine*

Gwaine: 😁

Leon: Second rule, respect. I don't want anyone insulting or hitting anyone, this goes for you, Merlin. I'm serious, buddy, leave Mordred alone!

Merlin: If I can't insult him with words or hits, do you prefer I use stones? 😒

Mordred: 🥺

Leon: Just pretend he's not there, please.

Merlin: I refuse...

Arthur: Merlin, seriously?

Merlin: Okay, I'll leave him alone, a little 🙄

Arthur: 😮‍💨

Leon: Better than nothing. Anyway, third rule, no offending minorities with words or actions.

Everyone looks at Arthur and Gwaine.

Gwaine: I understand the princess, but why look at me?!

Leon: Do you remember the incident last year?

Gwaine: Yes?

Leon: The incident with the breasts, Gwaine.

Gwaine: Oh! I remember, got it 😅

Mordred: What incident?

Elyan: Gwaine offended a witch by commenting that she didn't look like a woman, so she cursed him by giving him breasts to make him "less of a man."

Merlin *excited*: Unfortunately for her, Gwaine loved the breasts, so she undid the spell. 😃

Gwaine: I loved my breasts 🥹

Leon: 😮‍💨

Conference post

How come loona has so many forms?

Like aren't hellhounds supposed to be the lowest class in hell hierarchy?

I mean, it would make sense if she learned all these forms from the book, but it never stated to be case

So, like, all hellhounds have this many forms and somehow lower class under imps?

And if this is the case, hell hierarchy makes little to no sense to me. Because how is magical species of dogs with many forms lower than another species of hellborn with no powers.

More for this AU

Did they just reveal everything big in season 2?

Merlin was a serial killer.

This is a technical truth, Merlin thinks as he hears the terrified whispers of the townspeople, of knights and guards and stable boys.

"So many people have mysteriously died."

"what if we're next?"

They don't know that all the murders had been evil people, people who planned to kill their King. But it wasn't always obvious, sometimes the evidence was destroyed before Merlin could take it, other times it had been more difficult to explain to himself.

"We have to find this killer!" Arthur says at court, completely unaware that he's standing right next to him.

'A technical truth.' Merlin thinks as people applaud their king.

'Technically, being a sorcerer is the worse crime too.'

Short: Never Leave us Merlin!

Merlin: Ok, so I assigned Edward to be your servant for the week. And I had-

Arthur: Really Merlin, Camelot won't fall apart if you're gone for a few days.

Merlin: 🤨 *Sceptical but finishing cleaning up Arthur's bed*

Merlin: *Rolls eyes* Well, if that is all. Take care of yourself and I'll be back in the week.

Arthur: *Nods* Be sure to tell Hunith my regards.

Merlin: *Smiles*

Arthur: *Blushes*

Merlin: Lancelot, I'm heading to Ealdor. Finally got the Prat to let me have my days off. But I hate to ask this, can you please keep an eye on Arthur for me?

Lancelot: Of course my friend. You can count on me.

Merlin: No seriously Lance, this is Arthur we're talking about. With him you'll need to keep constant vigilance.

Lancelot: It'll be OK Merlin. I promise, nothing will happen to Arthur while you're away.

Merlin: *Deeply sceptical but seriously needs a vacation*

Merlin: OK.

Lancelot: 😊 Have faith. How much trouble can Arthur get into within a week?

[ONE WEEK LATER]

Merlin: *Back from Ealdor*

Camelot: MERLIN'S BACK! *Cue cries of relief*

Leon: Thank the gods! *Grabs Merlin before he could protest and informs him of the others*

[KING'S CHAMBERS]

Merlin: 😑 Arthur...

Arthur: *Looks away*

Merlin: 💢 Arthur James Pendragon, tell me why Gwaine and half of your council are in the dungeons, and why Lance is in the corner crying and- IS THAT AN ARROW IN YOUR ARM?!!! ‼️😠🗯️

Arthur: *Sweats* 💦

Lancelot: *Mumbling* It all happened so fast... The first day was fine it was normal.. Then.. Then.. 😭😭

Leon the only Sane One left: Then Arthur didn't like the servant serving him, firing them on the spot. Next came Gwaine commenting on Arthur looks without Merlin around. Then they started arguing and Gwaine went into the dungeons to prove some point about something.

Arthur: *Mutters* He said I wouldn't last a day. Told him he can't last sober.

Merlin: 🤨

Leon: *Sighs long suffering* Then a sorcerer, no more then a young boy came trying to kill Arthur and failed. He fell over Arthur's messy room and knocked himself unconscious.

Merlin: 😦

Leon: Next the council wanted to burn the boy but Arthur wouldn't have it and tossed half of them in the dungeons.

Merlin: 😑

Arthur: 😅

Leon: And today, when training, An assassin tried to kill Arthur and would have succeeded if not for the sorcerer boy who was again attempting to kill Arthur but moved him out of the way slightly instead.

Merlin: 😓 And where is Gaius?

Leon: There is a birth happening in the lower town.

Merlin: ... Get my Medical Bag and I'll take care of the wound. *Sighs* I was only gone for a week...

Lancelot: And Never again.

Arthur and Leon: *Nods*

Camelot: Never Leave us Merlin!

THIS IS NOT OK

HUGE TW: R4P3 & Death Threats

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...

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I get it! We all hate/dislike Vivzie and think her and her depiction of certain groups and issues is gross!

BUT THIS IS NOT OK.

WISHING DEATH OR ASSAULT ON SOMEONE YOU HATE IS AND WILL ALWAYS NEVER BE OK.

Even if Vivzie and her team/friends have said/done horrible and vile things regarding S/A, wishing S/A, death, and R4P3 upon them is fucking disgusting.

PLEASE REPORT AND BLOCK THIS PERSON!!!

They do NOT represent the ideals and goals of the HH/HB critical community!

I REPEAT:

DO NOT ENGAGE WITH THEM. SIMPLY REPORT AND BLOCK THEM.

Now, I need to go take a shower and bleach my eyes.

Helluva boss has a merch problem

______

It is not an entirely bad thing to have merch sells. It just every week they are announcing new merch!

I feel like it has become a problem. like one week, Helluva limit-merch items are announced to be selling fast and here for a limited time.

then checking the website a month later, and the supposedly limited merchandise is still there.

I get that they need money for the animation. But jeez, fans don't have this type of money to pay merchandise every week of their favorite shows.

I feel like they would earn more money if they just instead do the wait couple of months, then do a merch sale. It would give more time for fans to get hyped up about the new merch and time to save up money for it.

I say let kill viv

Woahhhhhhh, let not kill anyone!?!?

Look viv has done some messed up and questionable things, but saying let kill her is fucked up!

Honestly, I don't know how to properly answer this question because this is just so messed up.

Vassago character is just another character that wasn't really needed:

● his character doesn't add anything to the plot, story, or any of the characters as a whole

● Plus, the only character that is shown to really know vassago is andrealphus

Andrealphus and vassago argument sounded they knew each other and now hate each other

While..

When stolas is like, "the only way I know how...song."

Vassago loudly start saying, "Yes, Yes cantalo baby!"

Stolas looked at him as, "okayyyyyyy weird, but whatever."

If stolas was his friend or knew him, he would've been like, "Oh hey, vassago!" Or something like that

● as mentioned earlier, he contributed nothing to the trial/plot even though he was hyped up to be an important pivitol plot character for months

Only for him to say barely anything and only thing meaningful he did was saying that stolas was needed since this was his trial in way

But then nobody listened, and stolas ended up coming to basically just to save blitz life