Ok Ok I Have More Thoughts On Reincarnated Villain Darling For Bsd Here I Goooo
ok ok I have more thoughts on Reincarnated Villain Darling for bsd here I goooo
In your first life, you were not a particularly good person. you might not have been on par with the likes of fyodor or the port mafia, but you were infamous enough to be a household name around Yokohama. maybe you were more of a schemer, maybe a brute force type, but you caused your fair share of mayhem on your day.
until you died.
you had, at one time, believed all of your efforts- all the destruction and pain you caused- would eventually be justified. eventually, the universe or God or whatever would finally acknowledge you- and you could rest easily knowing that at least it'd all been for a just cause. but that didn't happen. you were caught, you were defeated, and you were killed- and nothing came of it at all. but now that you've been sent back in time, you can make things right! I mean you weren't sent back far enough that you don't already have something of a reputation but... you can make this work! people start over all the time, you can too!
unfortunately, suddenly deciding to become the next virgin mary in the middle of your reign of terror turns a few heads.
dazai is as hypocritical as they come. sure, HE left his criminal past behind to be a certified Good Boy, but he doesn't believe others can follow this method. hell, I don't even think he believes HES pulling it off. he doesn't trust your sudden shift one bit, so obviously he has to investigate. you don't let his distrusting glares or not-so-subtle digs phase you, though, you have amends to make. of course, the more you prove his suspicions about you wrong, the more determined he is to reveal your supposed "true nature". you think that turning your good deeds to him will get him off your back... but it's quite the opposite, unfortunately. you've only served to get him attached.
fyodor thinks it's rather interesting, especially if you're someone with an ability. an evil ability user suddenly turning from their wicked ways and repenting? how could he not want to see that for himself! while the concept of an ability user going from someone who bombs buildings to a bona-fide Saint who rescues kittens from trees kinda flies in the face of his entire ideology, he's more intrigued by the idea than annoyed by it. and wherever there's fyodor, there's gogol, who is going to be VERY interested in testing just how far he can push your new personality.
gonna cut myself short here but picture: being rivals with akutagawa and atsushi in your past and now the two of them follow you around like lost dogs. chuuya, the guy who you distinctly remember throwing a black hole directly at your face, won't stop trying to get you to agree to go out with him. any character you like! yosano, kunikida, ranpo, mushi, fitz, etc. everyone just HAS to known what's gotten into you lately!
and it seems like they're liking what they're seeing so far.
also while I'm here TELL ME UR YOSANO THOUGHTS RIGHT NOW????? YANDERE YOSANO FOR ME PLS???? ALSO THE CAT THING. IMAGINE BEING INCARNATED INTO BSD AS A CAT THAT DAZAI WONT STOP PSPSPSPSING AT
- đŠš
100/10 would reincarnate as a cat into bsd to get pspspspsed at by dazai <3 and i will never look at him so he feels crushed! slight manga spoilers about jouno's past but his part is at the end so you can stop before it!
ft nikolai, fyodor, dazai, jouno.
cw; yandere character, stalking, jealousy, obsession, manipulation.
it's nikolai who notices your odd behaviour first.
he's close behind you when you cautiously walk into the bank you stole from just two days ago, glancing all around you as you stumble in with the large bags in your arms. everyone around you freeze at the sight of your infamous disguise (nikolai thinks it's rather cowardly of you to not show your real face in public. you should be proud of your villainous exploits!) and your awkward attempts at reassuring them and shushing them goes terribly, as they all fall to the floor with tears in their eyes. still, you soldier on, wincing at the pure terror you see in the trembling figures and loud sobbing, and go to place the bags on the largest counter. the clerk already has his card out, ready to let you into any room you wish to rob, but you shake your head at him.
"no, i'm only here to return this," the clerk's eyes widen at your words, "i'll have the rest of the money i've taken sent to you later today. there was too much to carry," you laugh, and is that nervousness that nikolai senses in your voice? you, the ever confident criminal, are nervous, and in the face of a terrified pipsqueak? "and i wanted to apologize for all the trouble. there's more money in here," you toss another bag onto the counter, "but i would like this to be used for compensation, for everyone that was here last time, and today."
strange, nikolai thinks, even your manner of speaking seems to have changed. your voice isn't as thundering as it used to be, and your words are polite. the words you use are kinder, somehow, and you sound more sympathetic, not as obviously exaggerated.
even stranger is that you do just as you say, placing the money and immediately leaving the building. the police is called, and even a bomb squad just in case this was all a terrible joke, but the money is there as promised, and nothing else. and later that day, huge trucks line up outside the bank and money is left piled up inside, like you had said.
it's not that nikolai doesn't think that people can change, but there's something completely unnatural about your change in heart. nothing in particular seems to have inspired your sudden turnaround, as far as he's aware, you were even planning your next strike the night before, but you woke up and threw it all away, and instead marched yourself straight to the bank.
naturally, he needs answers. so he continues his little habit of following you around. it's a little unusual to see you without your disguise, living a perfectly normal life. you get your coffee from the same place every morning and take the same train and the same path and go to your ordinary job and it's so awfully boring that nikolai can't understand how you can bear it all. how do you go from the thrill of villainy to...this mundane, dull life?
despite all the monotony you've surrounded yourself with, nikolai can't say he finds you boring. he's always liked you, but not enough to want you dead. you're exciting, with your magnetic personality and outrageous stunts. and maybe, compared to the brutal violence by all the other 'villains' of yokohama, your presence is somewhat of a relief to the public. dangerous, but not lethal. if they keep their heads down and let you do your thing, they can leave the scene traumatized, but alive, and you'll leave a happy little bird. nikolai always found that amusing, if a little frustrating at times. why not just go all the way and kill the witnesses?
he listens closely to the boring conversations you have with your coworkers, about the weather and lunch and god how do you bear this? he watches you stand expressionless as you get berated about something by a superior, and finds himself giggling when you later get back at them by mixing laxatives into their coffee when they aren't looking. he's relieved, a light feeling bursting in his chest when he realizes you haven't completely changed for the better. you still have the stray bits of your previous self, and he's not sure why he's so happy to know that.
as time goes by, as he sees you doing more goodâselfless acts that you have nothing to gain from, nikolai can no longer hide the curiosity burning inside of him. he wants to know why so badly, wants to know why you threw away all the fun and excitement and the wonderful selfish way of life to turn to this, and why you look happier.
"nikolai," you say when he finally reveals himself, "what brings you here?"
he notices your hand slipping into your pocket, curling around what he already knows is a weapon, and smiles to himself. good, you still had it in you.
"my good friend! how long has it been?" he croons, his voice almost grating like this, "i've missed seeing you around here."
you back away, eyes searching for an exit. before you can begin running, nikolai already has a hand through his coat to drag you to the ground, a malicious grin waiting.
"not so fast," he hisses, the smile widening, "you have a lot of explaining to do."
your last conversation with fyodor still lingers in his mind.
"i'm not interested." fyodor blinks at you, his previous smile having slipped off, "i understand that your values do not align with ours, but this opportunityâ" "that's not the only reason," you explain, "not to say it isn't reason enough, but, well, i've decided to give it up. this life of crime, i mean." he stares at you for a moment longer before soft laughter echoes through the alley, "do you think it's that easy?" you glance around you, trying to plan an escape route just in case the man in front of you decides that you've pissed him off too much and turns you into a mess of blood and guts. he didn't sound angry, but the dostoevsky you know, and the one you remember, was very good at hiding his displeasure behind charismatic smiles and disguised threats. "to throw away everything you've worked...i wonder what changed your mind." you step back, "i've been reflecting on myself, and realized that maybe it's not that fun to wreak havoc when people's lives are endangered. turns out, i have tons of other hobbies when putting aside the...criminal acts." "oh?" fyodor's smile widens, and he steps forward, "found something else worth your time? i wouldn't think that saving kittens is all that interesting when compared to the heists you've pulled off." "they make for great company," you ramble, eyes flitting across the narrow path, "not much of conversationalists, but better than hostages. you should look into getting a cat for yourself. or a dog, or something." "thank you," his voice drips with mockery, "i'll keep that in mind."
people can change, of course, but someone like you, getting up and deciding to throw your past away, as though none of it mattered, as though you could bury it and go on...fyodor doesn't quite agree with it. it's quite peculiar. more so because this time, it concerned you. fyodor doesn't waste his time on petty criminals and their little antics, butt he can't say that he's never been drawn in by you and your extravagant performances that only serves to hide the hideous nature of your soul. he can't say it didn't pique his interest to see you destroy the building where government heads were to gather mere minutes before they made their entrance (and if seeing you grin and wave at the blond detective on scene, clearly waiting for you, made something inside him churn and boil, he didn't think twice about it.)
someone as unabashed and brazen as you was now scurrying away from him, hiding beneath a new identity and cleared records. he wonders, for a moment, if the detective killer was involved in anyway. but how would you know, of his ability? even fyodor had yet to make contact with him. when he later finds out that mushitaro oguri had escaped from the organization, he realizes that there's only one person too elusive to be caught after pulling off such an impossible feat.
people can change, he decides, but your change is unnatural, unwarranted. there was no great tragedy, no failed heist, no harsh punishment that had evoked such sudden development. And there was something else, that visceral sense of fear evident in you when he approached you that dayâthat wasn't normal. not when the last time you met him, barely a month ago on a rooftop while you were on the run, you stared him down with such impudence, your words laced with audacious condescendence while you prattled on about how lame he looked and a string of other insults before running off again. this wasn't the you he met that day; you had suddenly become aware of the danger he posed, your eyes glued to his gloved hands even while talking to him, searching for an exit in between sentences....so, what caused your change?
how normal was it, really? to wake up one day and decide to completely throw away everything about your life so far and turn into a seemingly ordinary person, to suddenly learn about his (and numerous others, if the case of the evidence suppressor was anything to go by) ability? such unprecedented gain in knowledge that was carefully guarded would be impossible by ordinary means. unless of course, you had somehow earned an ability that gave you such insight. there wasn't any definite conclusion about whether you had an ability or not, considering your resourceful arsenal and agility, but if this was the works of a newly gained ability, it would explain a lot. strange, though, that the moment you received a power that should only help propel your crimes to a greater extent, you shut it all down immediately.
but it's not too difficult for him to ease you back into his trap, with the use of the book and his connections. he has nikolai keep an eye on you while he plans your next encounter. he memorizes the way you walk home and studies how your changed personality may affect how you make your decisions now, and has a thousand questions he wants to wrench out an answer from you for in his mind, after imprisoning you.
but when you actually meet again on a particularly cold night, all he wants to know is why. even though he knows you won't give him the answer to the question that's haunting him all this time.
"[name]," he whispers, a hand on your cheek. you are painfully tense, eyes immediately closing when he touches you, and something inside him curls with displeasure, "you're going to hurt my feelings if you keep this up." he wonders if you can hear the bitterness coating every word of his.
"there shouldn't be such distance between old friends, don't you think?"
dazai finds out through ranpo that you've resigned from the villainous life, after the older man insists they didn't have to stake out at a bank for you because you had "given that life up," but even as he stares at footage of police officers claiming you had disappeared into thin air, he can't quite believe it.
until he meets you for the first time since your disappearance, and you're...different.
different in the way you observe the people around you closely, in the way your voice has hollowed out and you look smaller, like you've been eaten away at. what was bothering you, now? most people wouldn't recognize you underneath your disguise, so there was nothing to be wary about, right? he sees you go to work like a regular person, (you didn't work here before, he remembers, you didn't have to) and when you're on your way back and stop near an alleyway, regarding it with an unreadable expression, he immediately prepares to stop you. you were going to go into the alley and slip on your mask before coming out to wreakâyou just walk away instead and he's left alone with his thoughts.
he finds out what's been tiring you out when he decides to spend a few more hours watching you after you get homeâjust in case he gets an opportunity to catch you red handed, of courseâand to his delight, you do get suited up before leaving, but not to do what he expects. you're...not disrupting public safety, and he almost can't believe it, but it's you who's cleaning up a smaller street, you feeding the strays and you knocking out a bicycle thief before returning the stolen bike to its previous spot, and what does this mean?!
is it really that easy, he wonders, to give up a lifetime worth of crime and evil? did you never regret it, or miss your past? were you completely ready to embrace this new life, ready to slip on the mask of an ordinary citizen and make up for your past grievances?
(was it only him that struggled to do the same?)
dazai ponders on what could be motivating you, what was so great that it completely shattered every bad bone in your body and set you on the right path again. did you lose someone, too? but, he realizes, it's not melancholy or grief that follows youâit's desperation, that forces you to destroy every thread that links you back to what you used to be, it's fear that lingers in your constant alertness. what were you running from?
later, dazai's convinced that you're doing this to shake off everyone on your tail, lying low and leading the public into a false sense of security before returning with worse crimes than before, even though all the evidence tells him otherwise. your mask is destroyed, your weapons locked away, you even spend your evenings at pottery classes and cooking lessons instead of stalking through the streets of yokohama, looking for your next target. and you're surprisingly well adjusted, polite and coming across as perfectly normal despite your past, and dazai isn't envious about how easy you make it look, while he had to lie in hiding for years, he's just keeping an eye out for the people who may be harmed by you ifâwhenâyou decide to make a comeback. (but if someone asked him why he signed up for the evening classes you go for, he couldn't really give a good answer, except for "surveillance.")
turns out, he's not being too subtle.
"is there something you need?" you glance back momentarily, but your steps don't stop, "or are you just stalking me for the fun of it?"
dazai's mind immediately blanks, not expecting to be called out, and he fumbles for the best defense he has, "i am not stalking. i'm just keeping an eye on you, to make sure you don't...revert back to your old ways."
"i won't," he's a little taken aback by how you don't even question how he knew about your past, "but it's hard to leave all that behind when someone won't let it stay in the past."
"people don't change that easilyâ"
"are you speaking from personal experience?"
dazai inhales sharply, looking almost livid with how he glared at you, "i know you, [name]. you're planning something."
your responding smile is wry, and mocking, "i didn't know you were such a big fan of me. want an autograph while you're here?" but the expression drops immediately after, and your exasperation is only all the more obvious to him as you sigh, "listen, i can't tell you why i made this decision but i can promise that i'll never turn back."
and before dazai can throw out anymore accusations, you've already started walking away, leaving him alone yet again.
but your words echo in his mind, and though you were only trying to convince him otherwise, he resolutely decides that someone has to hold you to your final promiseâand who better than him for the job?
jouno has been watching you for a while now, even before you started acting...strangely.
it wasn't anything personal, of course. it was just what he had to do to maintain orderâeven if he had to wrangle the files away from the investigation unit (after a poorly disguised threat) to begin surveilling you. he had been watching you, and for longer than anyone else, from the start of your criminal history.
with the newly spreading news about your apparent retirement, jouno was simultaneously proud and frustrated. he had always been sure that you were able to throw aside the meaningless life you had lived thus far and work to become a better person, and had been advocating for you from the very beginning. he was the reason, in fact, that you hadn't been thrown into a high security prison after your dangerous stunt involving some of the country's wealthiest and most powerful people. but now that you had changed, as he wished, he wasn't sure he was happy with all the extra attention you were getting. he knew you were about to get proposition by a variety of individuals and organizations, knew you were likely about to be investigated and prodded at by those who refused to believe in you and those who thought you could be won over easily enough, and he didn't quite like that consequence.
he wasn't particularly worried that you'd change your mind and go back to your previous line of work; jouno was confident in your resolve and your decisions, and he wasn't worried for your safety, since you had always done a good job at separating your private and personal life. however, all the new people who were interested in you now, the new eyes scrutinizing your sudden decision and the new faces you had to greet at work, didn't quite sit right with him. it wasn't fair, he thinks, that you had no clue about how much he believed in you, how much he was prepared to defend you.
and a small, dark part of him was a little upset that he didn't need to get involved in order to convince youâit was hoping that if he got to meet you, he could judge that you hadn't completely changed and that you needed him, and his guidance, to help. he was hoping he could have an opportunity to talk to you up close, to memorize the sound of your voice saying his name.
jouno thought he could change youâthe fact that you didn't need him to bothered him more than he'd like to admit.
he had it all planned out; you'd have been his first successful recruit. all the other criminals he as tasked with rarely left his interrogations unharmed, let alone with their sanity intact. and you'd have been his subordinate, looking up at him as your supervisor and adviser, tasked to work with him on his missions, though you'd never be a hunting dog. he wouldn't show you his interrogations, not at first, but he'd take you with him when he was hunting down a villain as a reminder of your fate if you ever turned your back on him. and he would teach you, slowly, about military law and code, about the skills you needed to survive. he'd convince you, and the government, that you needed something to tie you down to themâafter all, you couldn't exactly be trusted, yet, and if it had to be a procedure similar to his, he could hold your hand and help you through your recovery, pretending to be on your side, and earning more of your trust. and eventually...eventually, the two of you would grow closer, and you would be ecstatic to be with him.
but clearly, you didn't require his involvement.
perhaps jouno should be more concerned about what convinced you to give up the life you had worked so hard to stay on top of, but at the moment it wasn't of much concern to him. there was no secret threats, no sudden deaths of anyone close to you, just you and your newfound fear. not exactly typical, but far from suspicious. many criminals, especially petty ones with no real motive or goal, decided to start anew for seemingly no reason. it could very well be a hyper realistic nightmare, or a close brush with deathâor even just a sentimental conversation with a loved one. it as obvious to him, however, that he wasn't the reason.
still, he didn't let that deter him.
because there was still plenty of opportunities for him to involve himself into your life. he could always admit that the government had been surveilling you, and lie that he was sent to make sure you stayed out of trouble, or he could make up a story about how you were being targeted by a notorious organisation, and he was tasked with protecting you instead. he could introduce himself as his hidden past, admit that he too was just like you, that he could help you bury the past, and work out a friendship of sorts.
it was only a matter of which method would be most effective. after he dealt with all the other pests hovering over you, he'd set his plans in motion.
More Posts from Stuffeddeer and Others
okay but..... pathetic yearning beast!stalkerzai... he's so quiet abt his obsession with u making up any excuse to have u around for subordinate purposes and when ur not around him he makes sure he can still keep tabs on u AHHH hes so sad and so smitten
"pathetic" i dont need to hear any more. im on board.
The continuous knocking on your apartment door leaves you anxious, quickly pulling on a comfy sweatshirt before answering the door. A breeze flies into the room, causing you to shiver, before you make eye contact with,
"Why aren't you at work today?" Dazai crosses his arms, an angry expression on his face. Though, the pout he wears causes it to be less intimidating than he'd normally be.
You glance into your apartment briefly, still feeling chilly while exposed to the outside air. "Um... I don't work?"
"You always work."
"Right. Which is why I have today off." Awkwardly, you itch your arm. "Am I⌠needed, Boss?"
Dazai sighs before walking into your apartment (with no invitation) and closes your own door behind him. "You're freezing."
"I'm slightly chilled," you shrug, brushing off the notion. Any other subordinate wouldn't dare correct the boss of the Port Mafia, but he'd always been more lenient with you - supposedly because you âarenât as dumbâ as the rest. "But that's what the hoodie is for."
Without another word, Dazai plops down onto your couch, making a show of looking around your apartment. Itâs tiny - the whole thing barely the size of his office at HQ â and Dazai wonders if youâd rather move in with him. For more space, of course. And he guesses youâd be saving on rent that way, too.
âHow do you know where I live?â You ask curiously. Sure, itâs probably somewhere in your files, but your boss never seemed like the type to care.
Shrugging, he murmurs, âItâs my job.â
You want to make this visit quick, but kicking out your boss didnât seem like a smart idea. âAre you thirsty? Would you like a cup of tea?..â
Yes, Dazai wants to try your tea. Just because youâre his subordinate, and he needs to make sure itâs up to par. What if he needs you to serve tea to some associates in the future? âIâd love one.â
Biting back a sigh, you fill your kettle before placing it on the stove, watching as your old gas stove flickers on. Silence hangs between you two - you had no intention of carrying the conversation when he just barged in uninvited.
Dazai seems to have a similar idea, sitting laxly on your couch and waiting for his tea. You pour one cup, uninterested in making one yourself, before placing it on the coffee table in front of him. âSugar? Milk?â
âThis is fine, thanks.â He takes a sip. Heavenly, heâs sure. Well, all tea tastes the same, but something about it coming from your hands⌠delectable. Itâs as though he can taste the love you must pour into every cup.
Mouth shut, you take a seat on the chair across from him. âMay I ask, sir, why are you here? Am I needed?â The question is posed once again as you hope for a quick resolution. Kicking out your boss is wrong, but hopefully heâll read between the lines and show himself out - the same way he showed himself in.
A long sip of tea permeates the otherwise silent room. Heâs doing this on purpose, youâre sure of it.
ââŚI was worried,â he mumbles into the mug, sound muffled and quiet.
âSorry?â
âYou should be,â he replies, uninterested in repeating himself. âI needed you today, only to find out you vanished into thin air.â
âI didnât run, if thatâs what youâre implying,â your eyes narrow. You would not be mistaken for a traitor.
âNo, no,â he grins. You were at your most entertaining when you became combative. Dazai much prefers you like this rather than subservient. âYou took today off.â
Correcting the boss of the Port Mafia was risky, but, âYou gave me today off. A month ago, after that mission, you told me to pick a day to relax.â
Thatâs⌠true. It was a strenuous mission, and while Dazai made sure to keep you out of the fray, he thought a gift like that would make you feel touched and indebted to him. Annoyingly, heâd nearly forgotten, since Dazai had planned on reneging at the last minute to trap you with him. For your work ethtic, of course.
A pout graces his lips, unhappy at your disappearance from his side. And that he had no rebuttal to it. âWell, I still need you. I made dinner reservations for two accidentally, and the restaurant is rather strict. You need to come with. The meal will be comped, of course."
âSir, I donâtâ â
âDonât want your job?â His eyes narrow, pout vanishing immediately. You had to go along with it. âIâm sure you donât mean that, over something as silly as a nice dinner.â
â...Of course, sir.â You tug on the strings of your hoodie, wanting to emphasize that you aren't exactly dressed for something 'nice.' "What time am I expected?"
Dazai has to stop himself from swooning. How adorable. Well, itâs not you thatâs adorable, of course. Itâs the juxtaposition of such n oversized hoodie on you that he finds adorable, not you yourself. Definitely. âWe can leave now, actually. Get changed, please. I wouldn't say there's a dress code, but it's not a 'hoodie' establishment."
Rather than lashing out at him for the snide comment, you choose to bite your tongue and head into your bedroom.
Exhausted was too light a word to describe how you felt. Donned in a 'nice' outfit that was rather uncomfortable, you stood outside in the cold air and harsh breeze as Dazai suggested to the host to let him in. This bastard didn't have reservations for one, much less two.
After the manager is called over and recognizes Dazai, you're quickly ushered in beside him. Dazai pulls out a seat at a secluded table in the back, gesturing for you to sit. "Come."
Without a second thought, you sit in the very seat he'd pulled out, stifling a yawn as he pushes you in. Youâre Dazai's best employee - he must keep you close at all times. Which is why he takes advantage of your position as his subordinate to orders you waste your day off in a fancy restaurant across from him. If you want time off of work, youâll have to spend it with him - just so he can keep an eye on you, of course.
It's late.
Dazai feels a little ashamed, if he were to be honest. How pathetic is it that he's unable to sleep unless in the arms of his coworker? A little pathetic. His eyebrows furrow as he begins to pick the lock to your apartment.
It's late. You're probably asleep.
He's jealous. Yeah; the clenching feeling in his chest is jealousy from your ability to sleep through the nights (a feeling of his that isn't shared towards his well-rested coworkers). You're asleep, and he should be. He will be.
The door clicks quietly, and Dazai doesn't react. How many times has he broken into your apartment? The question is left unanswered as he saunters into the place, making sure to close and lock it behind him.
You're asleep. It's late.
He makes a pit stop by your kitchen, staring blankly into your fridge like he'd do if he lived here. He counts the number of half finished water bottles littering the shelves, dispersed in between random ingredients you don't open and snacks that are dwindling in number.
If Dazai lived here, maybe he could make you dinner sometime. Gather the ingredients to fill your fridge, put a pan on the stove â however people cook, he can't remember. The fridge closes quietly; It's late. You're asleep.
With a final glance towards the sink, taking note of the dirty cutlery delicately balanced around the edges, he makes his way into the hall. Three steps and he'd be outside your door, your bedroom door, where you're asleep.
Dazai pushes away the same thought that keeps appearing in his mind. Of course you're asleep, it's late.
He turns away from your bedroom and finds himself standing in your living room. It's happily lived in - cushions that have lost their fluff, a blanket strewed across the couch haphazardly. His hand runs over it; always the same blanket. Dazai can imagine sitting under this blanket on the couch with you, the couch you two would share, watching some movie on your small tv just across the small room.
If he lived here, he'd make sure to tidy up the living room before you two went to bed. You kept a basket of blankets just next to the tv, and Dazai could easily drape the blanket back into it before following you off to bed. For now, he leaves it; There'd be no trace he was here come morning.
Once again, he finds himself mere steps away from your bedroom door. You live alone, for now, and yet keep the door closed every night. Is it habit? Are you worried some barbarian will break in just to watch you sleep? (Dazai isn't here to watch you, of course; He's here to sleep as well.) If that is what you're worried about, he could always spend the night with you, just to make sure you're safe. Well, spend the whole night with you, rather than breaking in late and sneaking out early.
Dazai turns into the bathroom.
You have the cutest rug next to your shower, one that always makes Dazai smile. A tough persona is applied at the agency, so only he is privy to your cute pink Sanrio bathmat. It's not what he would have expected for you, and that's what makes him smile. Your counter holds an electric toothbrush and has a lot of clutter Dazai wants to sort through. If he lived with you, he could place his toothbrush next to yours and keep your hair care stuff in the cabinet below. Maybe one day you'd let Dazai comb your hair, with a brush or just his fingers.
It's late. You're asleep. The same thought Dazai has been pushing down since he began the walk to your apartment fills his head once more. He's not delusional, no, but what if you weren't asleep? What if you were waiting up, just for him?
His hand touches the doorknob. It's late. You have no reason to think he's coming. The door opens slowly and quietly as he peers in.
You're asleep.
Dazai's chest constricts and he can't help the frown pulling at his lips. Of course you're asleep; He's stupid to get his hopes up. If you were awake anyway, you'd kick him out and probably call the cops. He is trespassing right now, at a time when you're most vulnerable.
Still, Dazai slips into your warm, cream-colored sheets, his hands clasped together under his cheek as he lies on his side. You're so calm, so serene under the dull light of a street lamp just outside the bedroom window. Hesitantly, Dazai's hand moves to brush a strand of hair from your face, the tips of his fingers experimentally tracing your skin.
His eyes flutter shut when you move closer. Were you used to his presence? Dazai likes to think you need him to sleep as much as he needs you. Sure, you could fall asleep without him curled up beside you, but maybe he was soothing nightmares. The thought made him frown. He shouldn't care, he shouldn't be here. His eyebrows furrowed like they had when he first broke in â this is weird. This is illegal, too.
A frustrated puff of air leaves his mouth, his eyes shutting more firmly. Tighter, tighter â why isn't he asleep yet?
He curls more into himself, feeling ashamed and embarrassed and anxious and annoyed and-
Your hand moves from your chest to his, softly resting over his heart. The small smile resides back on Dazai's face as he relaxes, slowly drifting to sleep in your bed.
Light filters in through your sheer curtains, the sun kissing your face as you quickly wake up. The blaring of your alarm was the first thing you'd noticed, rubbing your eyes with one hand as you turned to shut it off. Just a few moments of peace, and then you'd get up....
Those few moments didn't come to pass before you were hit with a boost of energy, sitting up in your empty bed. Of course your bed was empty, no need to emphasize it. You live alone, did you expect someone to be there when you woke up?
yk sometimes pm!dazai or ada!dazai takes off his trench coat and he only has his button up and waistcoat on? (its giving slay ngl) so maybe if he had a partner heâd occasionally lend his darling his coat because itâs cute and vv sillyâŚ
his coat pocket would have the weirdest things too: a crumpled page of the suicide book, a piece of bandaged that has yellowed due to oxidization, dog food etc
in my head im like how Dare he tarnish his beloved suicide book but that mf probably has 12 more copies at home lmao
I feel like instead of dog food he'd keep cat food for the street kitties that wander up to him :( he'd give them little pets and laugh so softly and sincerely as their heads bury into his coat pockets!!! He's all "You must've smelled the treats, hm? It's a good thing I keep them on hand for smart kitties like you," as he gently pushes them away so he can dig his hand in there to feed them rrgggg
PM!Dazai was shocked to see you shivering beside him. He was usually the one to get cold before you, and yet he found himself practically overheating in his black coat as he pulled it off his shoulders - at least thatâs what he told you. Practically turning blue, you werenât in any position to decline as he plopped it on your shoulders.
You immediately stuffed your hands in the pockets, trying to warm up your frozen fingers so they could move again. After a moment, your eyebrows furrowed in confusion as you turned slowly to look at the brunet.
âDazaiâŚâ
âYes, love?â He sends you a large grin, a teasing lilt in his tone.
You deadpanned, clearly unamused. âYour cold ass hand is not helping.â
His fingers intertwined with yours, his grin only growing as he pressed a kiss to your cheek. âIâll take my coat back if youâre gonna be ungrateful,â he stuck his tongue out.
You smirked before pulling Dazai in close, wrapping the coat around him as well by wrapping your arms around him. âIâd never be ungrateful to my lovely Dazai! Câmon, Iâll keep you warm, too.â
âBut Iâm not coldâ â
âI felt your freezing hand, Dazai; You arenât fooling me.â
ADA!Dazai doesnât need a reason to give you his coat. You look cute, and he wants to help you look cuter. Reason enough, right?
The two of you were lounging around working at the agency, with you focused on the report Kunikida had politely asked you to take care of. Dazai had been on the opposite side of the room at his own desk, coat draped behind him on his chair as he stared at you. His face was resting in the palms of his hand, leaning forward on his desk to get a better look at you.
WowâŚ
The way the setting sun came in from the window to light up your face had Dazai perfectly silent, mesmerized by you and your beauty. A loud sneeze came from you, whole face scrunching up as your elbow covered your nose briefly. Your sincere apology before immediately going back to your work had Dazai holding back coos, just wanting to hold you close and dote on you in the moment. He stood up, heading over to your side of the room and standing behind you. His coat was draped over his arm, the fabric rubbing against you he leaned down to press a kiss to the crown of your head.
âYou must be getting a cold, hm?â He draped his beige trench coat over your shoulders, pulling your arms away from the report and stuffing them through the sleeves.
The action had you laughing, caught off guard as he pretty much dressed you in his coat. âYou alright, Dazai?â
âMhm, just wanted to keep you warm as your thoughtful boyfriend.â He leaned his body onto you, arms draped around your shoulders and chin digging into your head.
âWow, youâre so sweet,â you replied sarcastically. Of course you knew he just wanted to see you wearing his oversized coat. âWhat would I do without you?â
Your hands slipped into the big pockets, letting out a soft chuckle as you pulled out crumpled up papers. âDo you keep these on hand?â You ask teasingly, reading the many ways to die as you flattened out the pages. In the margins were notes he mustâve scribbled down, many of which are just your name with little hearts scratched around them.
Dazai quickly snatched the pages from you, shoving them in the pockets of his white pants instead. âThatâs nothing you need to worry about, love.â
Silly elf lil shit (think of Elysia from hi3rd) and Dazai asks them to play with their ears just to get surprised from them saying sure LMFAOOAOS
Also HOW R U POOKIE :3 hope u eat and sleep well !!
THANK UUU i am doing my best đ but iâve been eating and sleeping well đŞđť thatâs half the battle
Dazaiâs mischievous grin had Kunikida sighing. Oh well, at least it's not pointed towards him.
You were working silently on a report, bored out of your mind. If you weren't worried about getting fired (has anyone been fired from the ADA?), you would've pushed it off until tomorrow... or maybe the next day. A sigh passes your lips as you glance up from the computer screen, looking for a welcomed distraction.
Making eye contact with Dazai, you knew it'd be easy.
Pointed ears twitch in amusement, smirking back towards the brunet. His eyes seemed to shine at the movement, standing up to move behind you. "Hello, love," his hands rest on your shoulders, fingers grazing your ears on the way to their perch. It was obvious he had some sort of plan brewing.
"Dazai," you greet curtly. "To what do I owe this pleasure?" You were keeping it formal, sure, but that's only because you knew it'd make Dazai work harder to distract you from your work â something you'd accept graciously.
"So harsh, hm? No pet names, no words of affection..." he pouts, spinning your chair around to look at him. "If I didn't know any better, I'd think you don't love me!"
"Maybe that's what I'm trying to achieve," you tease.
Dazai shakes his head, clicking his tongue thrice is disapproval. "The only way to do that is to deny me my next request. Of course, if you want me to think you don't love me..." he trails off, an evil smirk that has you flustered. The smirk is evil because it's so pretty â anyone would have a hard time denying it. ("Not anyone," you hear Kunikida in your head.)
"And what is that request?" Your ears twitch again in amusement, much to Dazai's delight. He doesn't expect you to say yes, but that won't stop him from asking:
"Can I play with your ears?"
It's so hard to catch Dazai off guard, but your easy "Yes," seems to do just that.
He grins so boyishly and excitedly, hands immediately pulling at the pointed tips of your ears (for which you chastise him, pouting about how that hurts) and poking the skin.
You spin around in your chair, letting him mess with them from behind as you turn back to your reports. Maybe now youâll be able to get something done.
I was wondering if how can I address you?? Is there any name/ nickname or we can just refer to you as âdeerâ ? :)
whatever you want is fine tbh haha i think deer is cute :)
struggling w midterms is so real deer i got a 5,1 on a test this morning even though i stayed up all night for it :(( anw i hope youâre doing okay and all is well and lovely ily i hope you drink enough water!! or elseâŚ.
I GET YOU!!!! i got a 6.5 and CHEERED like why r classes hard!!!!! i believe in u!!!! we'll do better next semester/trimester/year idek đ
and thank uu!! im doing well and i hope u are too! thank u for the vague threat i will be sure to drink more water â¤ď¸
Hello Iâm new here, I just couldnât help but notices how lovely you write. So I have little request for you.
Can I request Nikolai and any characters you want reaction when their s/o hides stuff between her breasts?
omg welcome just my drunk friend! tysm!!!! i love nikolai im on it 𫡠and dazai ofc..
has: no pronouns used but mention of boobs and bras, also one (1) use of the word tits. is that worthy of a warning? probably not. but Nikolai says it in a weird way bc heâs the worst so just in case đ¤đť
You knock feverishly on Nikolaiâs door. Fuck, where did you leave your key? Youâd already made it back to your apartment when you realized it wasnât in your pockets. The last place you were was Nikolaiâs, so if he didnât have it you arenât sure who would.
âNikolai, you dick,â you mutter under your breath. That asshole is definitely still awake, so why wasnât he answering the door?
The knocking ceases as Nikolai swings the door open, hair unbraided and eyes glimmering. âMissed me that badly?â He leans forward, bending down slightly to maneuver his face just above yours. âYou couldâve called, yâknow.â
âYeah, well,â you shrug. âI need to come in.â
âPushy!~â He pouts, crossing his arms and standing up straight. âNot even gonna say hello?â
A groan passes your lips, too frustrated at your missing key to play his games. âYou didnât.â You pause momentarily. Itâs less frustration and more so anxiety that makes your skin crawl and your tone snippy. âSorry, I just lost my key. Iâm worried I dropped it on the street walking home.â
Eyes lighting up, you wouldâve sworn Nikolai beamed down at you with two mismatched flashlights. âYou need your key, you say? And what if I told you I could procure it for you?â
Your shoulders slump down, relaxing. Heâs being an asshole, sure, but at least you know he has it. âPlease, Nikolai?â
âMm⌠You gotta promise not to be mad when I retrieve it. Especially since Iâll be your savior, you know!â He puffs out his chest, already proud before he has even produced the key.
âI promise, Iâll be eternally grateful as long as I can find that key.â
Nikolaiâs warm and ungloved hand slips under your loose shirt collar, digging beneath your bra and in between your breasts. You freeze, even with the warmth of his hand on you. Before you can chew him out for the random grope, the jester pulls your apartment key from in between, flashing both it and a wolfish grin to you.
You say nothing for a moment, just staring slack jawed at your key. Had you really..?
âYou dropped it in there before you left,â he shrugs before dropping the key back in between your breasts, not bothering to hand it to you properly. âAnd I just stare at your tits all the time, so I noticed.â
With a gentle smack to his bicep, you fish the key out once more and let out a sigh of relief. âThank god; I thought I was going to have to change my locks!â
âYou still should - I have, like, several copies of your apartment key littered around my apartment,â Nikolai smiles once more.
You donât even bother replying, just turning around and leaving his place for the second time that night, your apartment key in hand.
Dazai would start hiding things in there too. He tosses a pen your way before heading out on a mission, one where he knows you canât bring a bag along, just to watch as you stuff it in between your breasts. Youâd sigh resignedly, used to his actions by this point and having long given up arguing or telling him off.
When on said mission, heâd find any and every reason that one might need a pen and turn to you expectantly, waiting for you to pull it out and hold it out for him. Itâs always so warm after, heated up from its time nestled between where heâd like to be stashed away.
Youâd complain after he asks for the pen for the nth time, telling him if he needs to use it so often he can get one himself! Those words were meant to tell him to bring/carry his own pen, but heâd grinned before taking that as meaning he could jam his hand down your shirt to reach for it himself.
âWhat? You told me to grab it myselfâŚâ
Hello deer!! I wholeheartedly hope you are feeling better day after day! Here a bit of a thought about Dazai that could cheer you up.
I was thinking about Pm! Dazai (like always).
People always says "he listens to this, he listens to that", I think he didn't listen to any music honestly.
So imagine if you are the one who makes him listen to songs for the first time, and you help him build up his own tastes making him listen to any genre, some you like some maybe you don't like just to help him.
It would be so wholesome idk I love this ideađ
- âłď¸
hi âł anon!!! youre so real đââď¸ i did this more as hcs :)
"Why are you playing me songs you don't like?"
"..? Because what if you like them?"
"I'm not going to just out of spite now."
and he doesn't
if you go out of your way to show dazai songs and help him build his taste he's just gonna fall in love with you agree with what you like
i think honestly it'd be hell to make him sit down and listen, follow along with the lyrics, etc - so please have something else nearby for him to stimulate his brain or hands or anything!!!!
like puzzles or something! fidget toys idk! maybe he doesn't care for music because he doesn't understand sitting there silently and doing nothing
listen. drop a bin of legos on him or something you know what i mean?
but you teach him well đââď¸ you don't have to just sit around and focus solely on the music! you can dance and have fun or just put it in the background!!!!
and now he gets it. now he's into it.
i think he'd love all music! isn't the type to make specific playlists just has every song he likes in one big pile
he doesn't gaf when some high beat song comes on full blast after the saddest tune yk. doesn't bat an eye
perhaps a given but he loves songs about dark topics that have cheerful beats đ have any of you heard bullet by hollywood undead? bro blasts that song all the time just to frustrate mori people
i think his emo ass would love mcr i'm sorry lmao
him rocking out and going crazy to all of their discography... it was meant for him
he hates whatever music you hate in solidarity btw. YOU showed him music so you clearly are the end all be all on decisions here
if someone recommends him a song he asks you if you've heard it. if not: you can listen together! if so:
"Do you like it? Are we gatekeeping this artist? Or is the song bad and I should I tell this guy to fuck off?"
"Dazai, just listen to it! Maybe you'll like it!"
"? That's what I'm trying to figure out. So answer my question, do you like it?"
and he says that all on the phone with you across from the person lmao
i just think he doesn't care enough to find his own taste if he never cared enough to listen on his own
so while he Says that your music taste is objectively correct (to which he stands by fully) he also just doesn't mind never listening to anything else
he doesn't care to branch out! dazai just likes you
and by extension, your music
piggybacking off of what i said earlier, he is not a playlist guy
BUT. however.
dazai will never sit down and forge his own playlist
unless it's a joke. "songs to make chuuya mad" and it's like. nyan cat 10 hour version idfk
okay back to the point
dazai will never forge his own playlists HOWEVER. if you're a playlist enjoyer and make tons and tons, spanning across different moods and different times and everything -
he listens to Every Single One
dazai will pick favorites from the playlists, but each one is meticulously worked through and studied, making sure to give you specific compliments on each one
okay. pm!dazai is so emo i need you all to understand while he does just shuffle every song you've ever liked, he is partial to more of that standard tumblr-emo shit yk
bro queues up mcr fall out boy and pierce the veil
every middle school emo kid's playlist is what dazai listens to
i think user @stuffeddeer likes dazai
giggling kicking my feetsies fluttering my lashes twirling my hair what gave it away
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