Dishwashing Fic Has My Heart (like All Your Works), Kiss💗

Hiiii I have literally read through your entire blog today after reading one of your latest fics and finding out your blog is entirely about Dazai so I figured I might as well request something, now that I have read everything (I need more).

So how about a Ada! Dazai and Pm! Dazai with a s/o that instead of just asking for a kiss they steal something from him right in front of his face and then just run away and ask for a kiss in exchange for the stolen item. I just thought about this and I figured it would be a pretty funny scenario :)

tysm anon! i hope you like this just as much!

PM!dazai

"I know you aren't gonna hurt me, Dazai," you grinned, watching as he stalked towards you after you stole his tie.

"Not if you give me what I want," he responds promptly. As much as he loves blowing off work, Mori might not be so forgiving if he's late to this particular meeting. "I'll go without my tie, if you'd prefer."

You let out a dramatic gasp, hand flying over your mouth. "And break uniform?! How unprofessional!"

"The Port Mafia doesn't have a uniform— "

"No, that simply won't do. You'll have to take this tie from me, yes yes," you nod at your own words, as though it was the logical conclusion.

A few steps brings Dazai closer to you, causing you to grin. You stand promptly in place, not letting him scare you back into a corner. "I know you won't hurt me."

"You already said that. What can I do to make my darling little partner give me back my tie?"

You pretend to ponder for a long moment, letting out a low hum and looking away with a hand on your chin. "What can you do, what can you do..." you click your tongue. "Gosh, I don't know!"

"Gosh?"

"Why, I suppose a kiss," you pause for emphasis, "might be adequate..."

Dazai stalks even closer, only a few inches away from you. Breath catching in your throat, you lose all playfulness, just staring into his big brown doe eyes like a lovesick puppy. You gulp before closing your own, slowly leaning in...

"Yoink! Gotcha!" Dazai pulls the tie from your loosened grip, taking a step back with a victorious grin.

"Did you just say yoink— "

"Never take your eyes off the enemy, darling! Surely you know that by now," he presses the tip of his pointer finger to your nose. "You're cute, but next time try a little harder." Slipping on his tie and barely tightening it around his neck, he sends you a blasé wave. "I'm headed to my meeting now. Maybe you can try again when I get back."

You stand still with a dumbfounded look on your face, watching as he leaves the room. An embarrassed blush decorates your cheeks; your boyfriend is such an asshole.

ADA!dazai

"You're taking your poor, innocent boyfriend's pen? How am I supposed to fill out my reports now?"

You only giggle mischievously in response, holding his pen behind your back. "Guess you'll want it back then?"

He hums for a moment before sighing. "Well, if my lovely partner wants it who am I to take it from them?" Dazai replies in adoration, elbows planted on his desk as he rests his head in his palms. "Besides, you're quite cute when you act all proud of yourself. What's on your mind, cutie?"

A pout takes the place of your grin. "Don't you want your pen back?.."

Even though he just said no, Dazai stands up and nods after a moment. Hands dangling at his sides impatiently, wanting nothing more than to hold you, he decides to play along. "My favorite pen," he pouts back. "Please can I have it back? What do you want in return?" Of course he knew this wasn't for no reason. You wanted him to want the pen, so you could wager it for something else.

You decide not to comment on how he was being so obvious about only playing along for your sake — either way, you'll get your desired outcome. "Maybe... a kiss?"

Dazai grins. "Why didn't you say so!" he replies with excitement, practically jumping onto you to press his lips to yours and slide his hands into your sweatshirt's pockets. 

You drop the pen accidentally, caught off guard by his sudden action. Quickly, you place your arms on his shoulders and kiss back.

Pulling back, he grabs your hand and starts for the Agency's door. "Mm, my partner is so warm and cozy. Let's go home early and kiss there instead!"

"What about the pen..?"

ADA!dazai again but he's a big arrogant meanie tbh!!

"Why don't you just tell me what you want, pretty," Dazai's thumb traces your bottom lip, hand cupping your jaw. "No need to play these games, hm?"

"I told you, I didn't take your report," you roll your eyes, arms crossed.

A condescending cooing escapes Dazai's lips that makes your eye twitch. "Babe, I know you just want a kiss from me. I'll give it to you if you give me my report back... In fact, maybe I can give you more,~" he purrs into your ear.

You brush off his touches, clearly unamused. "I didn't. Take. Your report."

"Playing hard to get won't get you want you want. C'mon... it's the only report I've finished," he moves on to pouting, giving you his best puppy dog eyes. "Kunikida said he'd make me a coffee if I got it done on time."

"You're 22, why do you need incentives to do your job anyway?" You roll your eyes.

"Baby, we both know I want a kiss as well. Just hand me the report and my lips are all yours. Or else, I'll have to spend time working on redoing it instead of next to you," he tries once again.

And once again, your eye twitches, fed up with his accusations. "I told you— "

"Uh, Dazai..?" Atsushi timidly speaks up. "Is this the report you're talking about?" He holds up a piece of paper, barely legible chicken scratch covering the blank spaces.

"Ah, Atsushi! You're such a kind soul! I must've accidentally slipped it in with your pile when pushing the rest of my reports onto— eh, never mind. You're a life saver!" Dazai jumps onto Atsushi with a hug before snatching the report to show you. "Look, love! Atsushi found it!"

Tapping your foot in annoyance, you stare down at Dazai, which he didn't think was possible given his large stature. "I'm sleeping alone tonight, aren't I."

"I'll make sure to leave blankets on the couch for you."

i like your fluff writings vv much deerie u dont get it..

-🌷

omggg thank you sm 🌷!!!!! i will continue to work hard 🫡

You don't understand how badly I want to eat your writing

OMGGG nom nom eat it up idc!!!! it's all yours cheetozai 😋😋

dazai is alive you just dont get it

Hawks masterlist mha masterlist main masterlist

Hawks pining badly

i would like to tie the ends of his bandages into a little ribbon so he wouldn’t have to tuck it in messily anymore </3

Dazai was frustrated. He was always able to keep his cool, but it was just one of those days; It seemed that everything that could go wrong, would. And now, the ends of his bandages kept coming undone, and no amount of haphazard tucking could save him.

Concealing his frustration was easy, as it always was for him, but you noticed the accidental huff he couldn't keep in. "You alright, Dazai?"

He shoved his hands into his pockets and nodded. "Why wouldn't I be?" comes his reply, complimented with his award-winning smile.

"Because of your bandages, I assume," you gently grab his forearm, pulling a hand out of his pocket.

Dazai's face fell, no longer able to contain the cumulated frustration of his horrible day. "They just— they won't just stay," he spoke as evenly as he could in the moment.

Deciding not to comment on his attempt to mask such an uneven voice, you nodded. Gently, you grab the edge of his bandages and pull them up, causing Dazai to freeze. Not wanting him uncomfortable, you move swiftly, working as quickly as you can without compromising the shape of the—

"Bow?" Dazai seemed shocked.

"It shouldn't unravel now. It might help to double knot it, though... Is this fine?" You spoke softly, cradling his bandaged wrist in your hands.

For once, he's caught speechless. A tiny nod is his response, and you hold your hand out; if Dazai wants you to tie the other, he can give you his hand — if not, then he can move away. The last thing you wanted was to force him; it's clear Dazai wasn't the most comfortable he's been when you started.

Yet, he hands it to you, gently resting the appendage between your outstretched fingers. Swooning feels like an understatement as your mind races, but you try to remain calm. You repeat the same actions, gently tying the loose strips into another cute bow to keep them from unraveling.

Double knotting the bows can come another day. For now, this is more than enough, and Dazai can’t help the soft smile on his lips. “Thanks,” he mutters.

You merely shrug in response. Anytime.

15!dazai is overtaking my brain bc just imagine him taking u to an arcade and trying to win u a plushie at the claw machine bc he noticed u staring at it but failing miserably and he refuses to give up until he gets that plushie

“It’s okay, Dazai, let’s just move on,” you laughed slightly, amused by his determined expression as he failed once again.

“This stupid claw machine is rigged!” He groaned, resting his head on your shoulder with a pout.

Nodding in agreement, you try and tug him away. “Exactly. So let’s move on, ‘kay?”

A small child ran by, the same brown plush design that was flaunted inside the claw machine was grasped in her hands. Dazai lifted his head up to look at you, to which you only sighed. “Her parent probably got it for her, don’t— “

Four more quarters were slotted into the machine that only needs two to play, the lights flickering as its speakers started playing the same grating song.

Seven dollars. He’d already blown seven dollars in quarters on this stupid machine with nothing to show for it, and you were growing bored. “If you’re gonna try and win this plushie for me, I’m gonna try and find one for you.”

He nods dismissively, too focused on trying to line up the dangling claw. The sight makes you smile: it was always nice to see him act his age, too used to the serious Dazai that ruled by Mori’s side. Sliding 4 quarters from his pocket, you vanished to the other side of the row of machines. Hm… what would he like…

“WHA— Hey!” Dazai called your name in shock, and you quickly rushed back to his side. “Look! Look look look!” He was jumping up and down as he finally made it, staring up at the big CONGRATULATIONS! flashing on the display on top of the machine.

You stood in shock. Less than two seconds is how long you must’ve been away from him! How did he..?

Holding the stuffed deer plush he pushed into your hands, you gave him a celebratory kiss on the cheek. “You did it!”

Dazai puffed his chest out confidently, hands on his hips. “Yep! Guess you were just bad luck.”

You deadpanned before hitting him over the head with the plush. “I take my kiss back!” You huff, which only causes Dazai to laugh.

“It’s too late! I got a kiss!” He starts chanting, running away as you chase him through the aisles of the arcade.

you two got kicked out of the arcade after running into a bunch of things. mori had to pay to replace a machine and he was pissed 😋

jinshi..... you get it.....

LMAOOO i try 🙂‍↕️

Dazai's playful grin falters as you chastise him once more, the words punctuated with his name. His last name, once again.

"Why don't you ever call me by my first name?"

Your playful attitude freezes at his question, your fake pout dropping as you turn slack jawed. "W-what?" A stutter passes through your lips as you just continue to stare.

"We've been dating for a few months now, and you never call me by my name." He plays off his words as a joke, something to fluster you, but with the way his fingers slightly pinch and pull at the edges of his bandages, you can tell he's being vulnerable.

An embarrassed blush decorates your face as you just continue to stare at him.

"I'd like it if you'd call me by my name, love." His flirting isn't helpful. From vulnerable fidgets to a cocky grin, Dazai (for once) inaccurately pegs your blush as a flustered reaction, likely feeling shy at the notion he'd now mentioned.

Inaccurate, because it wasn't a matter of not feeling ready, or close enough, but rather because-

"...What's your first name..?"

-you'd forgotten.

Dazai's eyes widen in a rare expression of genuine shock, his movements pausing at your timid question. The embarrassed blush decorating your face that had briefly fooled Dazai only began to grow.

You bury your face in the palms of your hands and let out a groan as Dazai begins laughing: a genuine, gut laugh that you rarely got to hear.

"It's Osamu," he says politely, not wanting to make you any more embarrassed. As you look up from the palms of your hands, you notice Osamu's soft expression and let out a sigh of relief.

You grin. "Nice to meet you, Osamu."

omg I just went through your blog and holy shit completely whipped pathetic head over heels Dazai is feeding my SOUL !! esp pm!Dazai I love him sm it's embarrassing

hehe join the dark side (pathetic dazai) glad you're enjoying :)