Trans Tips #9!

Trans tips #9!

Dont be embarrassed of yourself!

Somewhat story time, but it has a lesson, I promise!

I'm no longer sick! And I went out to dinner with some friends, my fiancé, and my younger sibling (NB) Whom knows about my transness

Well, we were at a Mexican restaurant when the manager walked up and was making conversation with the table. Eventually, he asked how we all knew eachother.

Now, some information about me, I still have long, blue hair that I am finally growing out after years of cutting it, and I'm pre-t. For the most part, not passing at all.

But my sibling introduced me as their brother

I felt super embarrassed

The manager asked "Brother? Who's your brother?"

Sibling points at me again, very casually, "yeah, so, my brother, his fiancé, (their) friends, ect..."

Manager starts pointing around the table, asking again "who is your brother?"

Sibling points to me again and very dismissively calls me their brother again

Now, overall, very proud of my sibling for sticking to their guns and not backing down

But in that moment I was so beyond embarrassed!

At the end I just wanted to tell them so let it go and let the manager call me their sister or something, anything to end the conversation, get me out of this mess, stop everyone from staring at me, I want a molcajete and a margarita at this point, thank you, yeah I'll pay let's just wrap this up please sibling shut UP

I was so annoyed with them

But, that was a few days ago, and I've since calmed down and I've been thinking about it all

I was the first in my family to ever come out. I've expressed my gender and sexuality differently for the last couple of years, and when my sibling came out as Nonbianary, I got them their first flag, and I walked them through coming out, and I showed them their options and their resources

And they received backlash

Because people (especially our family) weren't used to the idea of Nonbianary

My sibling considered de-transitioning

Going back to "normal"

Hiding in the closet

But I told them No! If someone doesn't refer to you by your chosen name, don't respond! I won't! I don't know who [deadname] is! I only know the name You told me! Fuck anyone who says otherwise!

Do you think I'm able to date and be engaged to the most wonderful and beautiful person in all of existence by hiding in the closet when people are mean to me? FUCK NO!

Stand up, say it with your chest, own it, and you'll be so much happier! So much more free!

They're just doing what I thought them to do

Dont be ashamed of who you are, and when you are ashamed, I won't be ashamed of you.

I can't hide in the closet, I am Valid

I may not pass, I am Valid

I may not be able to medically transition, I am Valid

I may like my hair longer, I am Valid

My voice isn't as deep as I want it to be, I am Valid

I am Valid, and You are Too

As long as you are safe to do so, don't be ashamed or afraid to come out;

And when you are, have someone else who can speak up for you!

More Posts from Stupidlittlequeer and Others

stupidlittlequeer

4 months ago

from Original Plumbing, a publication for and by transmasculine people.

What's your favorite part of being a transsexual?

"While I often wish I was born a bio boy and didn't have to go through all of this, it's more often that I find it a blessing to have lived and experienced both sides of life, sex and gender and get to play in-between. To have been a girl, a woman, a lesbian, a dyke, a tomboy, a 'questioning', a boy, and now a queer man is pretty amazing and fucking hot!"

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stupidlittlequeer

4 months ago

(through gritted teeth) sometimes what's good for your mental health isn't another do nothing day or a little treat sometimes what's good for you is putting in some of the work. Not all of it at once but sometimes you have to finish that essay or at least take the next step or you have to clean your room or at least dust the shelves or you gotta do the laundry or at least put it all in the hamper and it's not fun and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks but you have to because i read a post on the internet that told me that's what being nice to yourself is sometimes

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stupidlittlequeer

3 months ago

Trans tips #7!

It's okay to experiment with your Gender and Sexuality!

It's okay to go through the full cycle to find what works best for you!

And now! A comprehensive list of all of my sexuality and gender changes from the start of my journey to now, to be used as an example:

Straight! Cis Woman! I had a boyfriend who cornered me at a school dance to ask me out! I didn't like him, but i had no spine so...we dated for a year without kissing or holding hands or anything...

Pan! Cis Woman! I met queer friends who introduced me to the concept of Gender and Sexuality! I still consider Pansexuality as absence of Gender in the criteria for dating...also broke up with that boyfriend

Bi! Cis Woman! I also considered Bisexuality to be some consideration of Gender in the criteria of dating

Lesbian! Cis Woman! I made alot of jokes about slowly excluding men or masc presenting people from the dating pool

Gay! Cis Woman? I started thinking about Gender Expression a bit more, Gay was a safe umbrella term for me to explore under

*this is when I met my fiance...we started dating the same night we met...(insert uhaul joke here)*

Gay! Non binary Woman? Started messing with they/them Pronouns, at the time it was something like She/They

Gay! Non binary! This was a short time frame where I felt an absence of femininity within myself, anything fem!presenting made me uncomfortable (makeup, clothing, ect)

Gay! Gender Fluid! I actually came out like this to my younger sibling first because I knew they could be trusted. Also made jokes about stealing everyone's Gender because alot of my friends started coming out at some form of NB...also I had bursts of hyper femininity followed by long bouts of masculinity...until I stopped feeling feminine for a year and was in full denial that it would come back (every time I looked at my feminine clothing in my closet I felt sick, this is when I knew what was coming)

Queer! Gender Fluid! Queer fit me better considering i was He/They/She/It dating a They/She (Side note I don't really go by it, I just live in the Bible belt where morons call me "it" to make me feel bad, if I include it at least they're still gendering me correctly)

Queer! Transgender! Me currently :) I've given all of my feminine clothing to my cousin in law, and with my fiances support I've been coming out to my family.

I know I am in a safe place to do so now that I have my own place with people I trust! I will make another post on coming out next! NOT THE POINT

POINT IS GENDER AND SEXUALITY CAN CHANGE AND YOU CAN EXPERIMENT UNTIL YOU FIND OUT WHATS RIGHT FOR YOU!!!

Also don't rush into decisions! Each of these transitions took months to a year before I figured it was right! This whole process took 7 years and I only just came out as Trans at the beginning of the new year 2025!

But take your time to get a feel for these things, it can take time to adjust and feel your feelings about certain things! You got this and I'm proud of you!

Design what your blog would look like if it was a person!

The picrew

I tag @red-skady @superchat @eviligo @maplepastry @nek0hime13 @bestgirlsyndrome @gentlesakura @games2girlsdotcom @deadlycoffee @bunny-stickers @starbitsun @888lvl @little-ikea-waldo @delanore-roosevelt @fefeps @imnevernice no pressure at all!!

If anyone else wants to join dont hesitate to reblog!!

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stupidlittlequeer

1 month ago

whoa i feel like i can actually look at myself when i do more masculine makeup. like i don’t just feel immediately depressed and dissociate/experience my vision going blurry and can’t look myself in the eye. also boxers are so comfy and i love love love my new short red/burgundy hair. and my new ear piercings. like i’m just taking so many steps to feel more affirmed in my gender experience and comfortable in my own skin on my own terms, and it’s so so nice. now that i’ve started, i don’t want to stop.

not sure if i’m trans masc or a trans man or non-binary, or if i’m genderfluid like i initially thought, but man i feel so much more calm and at ease and like gently alive. like such a chill vibe and so grounded i love it so much omg

i think i might change my blog yet again lol.

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stupidlittlequeer

2 months ago

Is that a transmasc Emily pfp I see (so incredibly based)

1: I BARELY know what your talking about (Stardew Valley)

2: This is INCREDIBLY funny to me

Answer: No! Very sadly! I completely forgot she also had blue hair. I, too, have blue hair and Pronouns!

I used a stardew valley pfp creator and made myself! There's a post somewhere on this blog going over the reasons I chose certain design elements but that's just (mostly) how I look, lol!