Oh, Incorrect Quotes Generator

Oh, Incorrect Quotes Generator

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Alana: Anyone d-

Connor: Depressed?

Jared: Drained?

Evan: Dumb?

Alana: -done with their work... what is wrong with you people...

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This one's a bit more?? Um?? Non-kid friendly TTvTT

Zoe: Guys, is having a penis fun?

Connor: It has its ups and downs.

Evan: It's gets a little hard sometimes.

Jared: IT'S A PAIN IN THE ASS!

Zoe: Jesus fuck, you guys.

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Evan: You're a loose cannon, Jared.

Jared: No, I'm not. I'm a cannon, maybe. But a loose cannon? Is that what you think of me?

Alana: I think you play by your own rules.

Zoe: No way, he thinks rules were meant to be broken.

Evan: Those are all attributes of a loose cannon.

Jared: No, I'm just a reckless renegade. Connor is the real loose cannon.

Connor: *Smashes a chair*

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Evan, trying to convince Connor to join the group: You know... I just thought it'd be good to have someone to come along who's... strong!

Alana: And loud!

Zoe: And grumpy!

Jared: And oblivious to reality!

Connor:

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Alana: What did you guys get in your yearbooks?

Zoe: 'Prettiest smile!' :)

Evan: 'Nicest personality!' :)

Jared: 'Most likely to start a bar fight.'

Connor: 'Least likely to start a bar fight, but most likely to win one.'

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Zoe: Bridge the generation gap by combining old and new slang into one!

Evan: Tubular AF!

Alana: Mood to the max!

Connor, annoyed: Groovy, I hate it.

Jared, just as annoyed: If she breathes she's a square.

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Evan: You KIDNAPPED Connor?! That's illegal!!

Jared: But Evan, what's more illegal? Briefly inconveniencing Connor, or destroying our dreams?

Evan: Kidnapping Connor, Jared!!

Zoe: Evan, listen, whatever I may think of you right now- these people need you to inspire them!

Evan: What, to KIDNAP PEOPLE?!?!

Zoe: To work together!

Evan: TO KIDNAP PEOPLE!?!?

Jared: Evan, I thought we both agreed, a stoner is not a people.

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Alana: Evan, stop! This isn't you! You've gone mad with power!

Evan: Well, of course I have.

Evan: Have you ever tried going mad without power?

Evan: It's boring.

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Evan: .. .----. -- / ... --- .-. .-. -.--

Jared: What was that??

Evan: Remorse code.

Jared: I'm even angrier at you now.

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Connor, high off his ass: I'm at least 10 times funnier and sexier than you.

Evan: But 10 times 0 is just 0.

Zoe: Then I guess the jokes on you, because he can't do math.

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Jared: I can explain.

Evan: Can you?

Jared: If you give me 30 seconds to think of a lie.

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Jared: If you were to vacuum up jello, it'd make a neat noise.

Evan: I beg to differ.

Jared: Then beg.

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Jared: This is such a bad idea.

Evan: Then why are you coming along?

Jared: One of us needs to be able to talk the cops out of arresting us when this all goes terribly wrong.

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Connor: *Accidentally hits Jared in the face*

Connor: *Can't decide between saying 'I'm fucking sorry', and 'Are you okay'*

Connor: ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY??

Evan: What is wrong with you?!

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Evan: This is bothering me.

Jared: Well, you are digging up a corpse.

Evan: No, not that. That's, uh, pretty par for the course, actually.

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Jared: You're the love of my life, and my best friend. I would do anything for you.

Evan: I want you to eat three meals a day and have a decent sleep schedule.

Jared: Absolutely not.

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Jared: I was arrested for being too cool.

Connor: The charges were dropped due to lack of supporting evidence.

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Jared: Name a more iconic duo than my crippling fear of abandonment and my anxiety. I'll wait.

Evan: You and me.

Jared, tearing up: Okay.

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Jared: God, give me patience.

Connor: I think you mean strength.

Jared: If God gave me strength, then you'd be double dead.

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Connor: I prevented a murder today.

Alana: Really? How did you do that?

Connor: Self control.

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Jared: I am not out of control! I am a law abiding citizen!

Evan: Name one law.

Jared: Don't kill people?

Evan: That one's on me. I set the bar too low.

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Alana: Whaddaya call a fish with no eye?

Jared, not looking up from his phone: Myxine Circifrons.

Alana:

Alana: A fsh

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Evan: I turned out perfectly fine!

Zoe: This morning you thought a ghost made your toast!

Evan: I DIDN'T PUT THE BREAD IN, Y O U DIDN'T PUT THE BREAD IN-

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Jared: WHAT'S YOUR TYPE

Evan: Anything, honestly. But nerds especially.

Jared, desperately as Evan bleeds out: YOUR B L O O D TYPE

Evan: Oh! B positive.

Jared: DON'T TRY TO CHEER ME UP, JUST TELL ME YOUR BLOOD TYPE

Evan:

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Evan: It's dark in here...

Jared: Don't worry dude, I've got this

Jared: *Stomps his foot on the ground*

Jared: *Heelies light up*

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Evan: Treat spiders the way YOU want to be treated!

Jared: Killed without hesitation.

Alana & Evan, simultaneously: nO-

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Miguel: Let's watch Sharkboy and Lavagirl.

Connor: Okay?

Miguel: And make out during the scary parts.

Connor: The-

Connor: The scary parts-

Connor: Of Sharkboy and Lavagirl?

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Evan: Can you PLEASE be serious for 5 minutes??

Jared: My record is 4, but I think I can do it.

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Evan: So that's my plan.

Jared: Are you fine with constructive criticism? I don't want to sound mean.

Evan: Sure, go ahead.

Jared: It fucking sucks.

Evan: That's not constructive criticism.

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Jared: Fuck.

Alana: We've got to work on your cursing.

Jared: Why? I'm pretty good at cursing already.

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Connor: Lol heads up if you try to make a candle with food coloring, the food coloring will just sink to the bottom of the glass, and when the flame eventually reaches the bottom all the food coloring will catch fire and become one giant tall flame that you cannot possibly blow out and the glass will start to crack and then you'll throw your tea on it in a panic and then the extremely hot food coloring will boil and sizzle horribly and then the glass will shatter. Please take my word on this lmfao

Evan: What did you do-?

Connor: A MISTAKE-

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Larry, with his back turned: I've been expecting you.

Connor: How did you do that without turning around?

Larry: I'm gonna be honest, the first couple of people I did that to were not you.

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Evan: How petty can you get??

Jared: I once edited a Wikipedia article to win an argument I was wrong about.

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Jared: Today is a day of running through hurdles.

Alana: Aren't you supposed to jump OVER hurdles?

Jared: Whatever. Fear is only something to be afraid of if you let it scare you.

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Jared: May I sit there?

Evan: That's my lap.

Jared: That doesn't answer my question, Evan.

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Jared: So.. are we flirting right now?

Connor: I'm LITERALLY stabbing you.

Jared:

Jared: That does not answer the question

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Aftermath of the last one- lmfao-

Evan: I'm begging you, please go to the hospital-

Jared: Oh, i'm sorry, is this OUR stab wound? Stay out of it.

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Jared: Do you have any skeletons in your closet?

Connor: Do you mean literally or figuratively?

Jared: The fact that I have to specify...

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Evan: Jail is no fun. I'll tell you that much.

Connor: Oh, you've been?

Evan: Once. In Monopoly.

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Evan: Your right.

Jared: That's... an unusual phrase for you. Did you just learn it?

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Jared: Petition to remove the 'd' from Wednesday.

Connor, high: Wednesay.

Jared: Not what I had in mind, but i'm flexible.

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Alana: Man.. I only ever see you awake. Don't you ever shut down or stop running?

Jared: Oh, i'm always running.

Jared: The question is from what.

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Evan: Top 30 reasons why Evan is super sorry! ..Number 5 might surprise you!

Jared: Top 30 anime deaths. Number One: YOUR FUCKING ASS RIGHT NOW!!