Entry #23, 11/12/19

So. Uh. Hello Inkwell system?

Uhhh,,,, this is my old blog from like 2019 or something,,, and it still has my blog entries on it, and I don't mind if you read them- idk if I'd show the others though if I'm honest. It's not that in-depth, obviously, and I'd like to detach myself especially from the last entry. So yep,, uh, this is I!

Chapter 2

>>Kachan!<< Deku cheered loudly. The one who appeared to be Kachan stared at Izuku, with a glare that reminded Mary of those annoying little dogs, what were they called?  She appearently forgot at that point, but before she could continue thinking about it, she was cut off by him yelling: >>My name is BAKUGO! GET IT RIGHT, YOU IDIOT!<< He looked at Deku angrily, and Mary noticed many small explosions coming from his hands. Is that his quirk?, she asked herself. It most likely was, but you never know what kind of gadet that guy might have. And something that was even more questionable: How can anyone have such an attitude towards someone as cute and innocent as Deku? Was there more to him? Maybe he's like the Yandere girl from the video game she used to play so often and frequently? What was the game's name again..?

Mary was ripped out of her thoughts by a red haired boy with sharp teeth trying to calm Bakugo down. His teeth reminded her of a shark a bit. How can you have teeth shaped like that? , she silently questioned. Mary observed the whole situation quietly.  >>LET ME GO, KIRISHIMA!<< Bakugo snapped at the spiky-haired guy. So... Kirishima, huh? He looked like a genuinely nice person, smiling nicely even though he was holding down the angry... pomeranian, that's the name! She giggled to herself a little, acknowledging the resembelance. >>WHAT ARE YOU LAUGHING AT, EXTRA?!<< he spat in her face, his own now forming into a frown, only showing the upper row of one side of his teeth. Is that considered fletching your teeth if you're a human?, Mary started to think again. She was easily distracted, especially when something was confusing or a ''shower thought'', as her favorite platform dumblr called it. Though... this fell more into the first category. Meanwhile, Deku and Ururaka tried to calm down the still furious human incarnation of anger, alongside Sharky-Boi.

Mary was just watching the show, holding back a smirk, waiting for someone to hand her popcorn, when someone tapped her shoulder. She turned her head to see who it was, only to find someone extremely close to her face. She flinched and punched the person out of reflexes, and only then did she realize whose stomach exatly she just punched: that's right, it was Denki, the first person she interacted with. Is winking at someone an interaction? She pushed the thought aside and turned her attention to the yellow-haired boy. Her voice was dripping with regret and worry, and when she started blabering an excuse and asking for forgiveness, Kaminari just chuckled. >>Hey, it's okay, hun!~<< He finally said, and when he saw the confusion that was clearly visible on her face, added: >>You didn't punch me that hard. Besides, my awesome muscles wouldn't let any punch hurt me too bad~<<He smirked self confidently, trying to show off how ''cool'' he was. It was kinda cute, but she just scoffed. >>Suuuure.<< Mary laughed, while he looked at her, suspicion in his eyes. >>What do you mean by that?<<  >>I said ''Sure'', so what could I mean by that other than ''yes''?<< she asked sarcastically. He didn't seem to get it, and regained his bright smile. >>Oh, okay! Ithought you were being sarcastic! Bakugo said that people are sometimes sarcastic about things, and that you can spot sarcasm in the tone of voice... So I guess I got a little confused there, sorry!<< Seeing him smile like that... it made Mary wonder. Did he actually have a boyfriend? >>So, uh.. Denki, right?<< He nodded. >>Yep, that's me! Denki Kaminari, the greatest, smartest, funniest and coolest of them all!<< He flashed her that confident smirk again. It made her smile a little too, and she completely ignored Bakugo yelling behind her now. >>yep, great. Can I ask you a question though?<< Denki smirked. >>I knew you'd have questions about this great guy~<< he pointed to himself with his thumbs. Mary looked at him and asked very straight-forward:

><Do you have a boyfriend?<<

Kaminari looked confused. >>Uh... wh-... what?<<

>>I asked if you had a boyfriend<<, Mary repeated. >>N-No? I'm... not gay???<< She carefully inspected him from head to toe once again. >>oh... Sorry! Do you have a girlfriend then?<< Wow, good job fucking things up. You couldn't ask if he was gay first, could ou? Nope, just jump straight to assumptions. >>I.. don't, but I could totally get any girl around if I wanted one!<< He blushed a little out of embarressment. >>Of cooooourse you could. No doubt.<< She said, once again sarcastically. He didn't seem to get it now, either, so Mary just gave up on sarcasm. >>Finally someone agrees! Most people just say ''no'' when I say that..!<< >>I wonder why.<< Mary replied before laughing slightly. She remembered that there was a dog she had to meet, and turned around to a grumpy, not-yelling Bakugo, an apologetic Kirishima, and a scared Deku. Ururaka was nowhere to be seen. Come on Mary, you can do this. It's only a guy with a temper, and it's not like you've never met anyone like that.

She went a little closer to him, gave him her best smile, and began talking. >>Hey, nice to meet you! I'm Mary, what's your name?<< She already knew his name, but she wanted to make a good impression and be polite. >>Name's Bakugo.<< He said angrily. >>Is that all? Then fuck off.<< While saying those words he had a little sparkle in his eyes, something Mary didn't really understand. What could it be? Anger? Frustration? Or does he just really like to insult people? She kept that in mind, but pushed away those thoughts as well. She had enough time in class to think about it. For now, she just decided to leave him alone, since he looked really pissed. >>Alright, it was nice to meet you!<< She smiled even wider. Bakugo looked at her a little off, but then caught himself again and grumbled a >>Yeah, great.<< And with that, she walked back to her seat, where the next person was already waiting for her.

 >>H-Hey beautiful~<< He said with hunger in his eyes. >>Hello!<< She smiled at him, not wanting to be rude. >>Do you n-need someone to show you around?<< he smirked pervertedly, his eyes getting even hungrier after seeing her smile. >>Nope! I already have Midoriya, Denki and Ururaka to help me out, but thank you anyways!<< She sat down at her desk, and he.. started to drool? And it didn't seem like he was giving up any time soon. Ugh. >>I c-could help you find th-the changing rooms, a-and then we could-<< He was cut off by Iida pulling him back. >>MINETA! STOP THAT OUTRAGOUS BEHAVIOR OF YOURS THIS INSTANT!<< Iida proceeded to drag Mineta away from Mary, who let out a sigh of relief. She didn't notice herself starting to smirk when she began to think of ways on how to best torture him. Little did she know the pink skinned girl was watching the entire scene, so she just decided to go and say hi. >>Hey, sorry about him. That was Minoru Mineta, he's kinda like the class pervert, alongside Denki. Though... Denki is just flirtacious. Mineta is full on ''spying on the girls''-kinda perverted. So you better stay away from him, or you might get... touched, let's say that. I'm Mina, by the way!<< Mina smiled brightly. Mary smiled back, wondering why Mina had just started talking to her. Was I staring at her? Did she watch me? Or does she really just want to be nice? >>Now, you gotta tell me, why was your introduction all formal and stuff?<<

Mary had to laugh. >>I guess I just imagined everyone here to be all serious, so I spent hours on trying to figure out the right words, and now I think I just looked awkward...?<< Mina joined her giggling. >>Oh, I had the same fear. I thought everyone was gonna be boring and strict about rules, but turns out Iida is the only one really strict about things here.<< She laughed, and Mary casted a glance to Tenya, who was still scolding Mineta for being unrespectful. They joked around a bit, about Mineta being a perv, about Mina being together with him, and the two girls shared a good laugh. Just like in old times... Mary sighed. Then she saw a teacher come in, ready to start class, so she and Mina had to part ways. After the class greeted the teacher, Mary looked around to see if anyone was looking at her. Damn paranoia...

To her surprise, there was actually someone looking at her. No, not someone, sometwo. One of them turned around when he noticed that Mary noticed him, a slight blush spreading on his cheeks while looking embaressed, and the other one...

was the drooling Mineta.

>>End chapter 2<<

Entry #3

The weather didn't change. It's 17:00 at the time I'm writing this, and there's not really anything else to do.

My other best friend has fever, but it's gotten better over the past few days. She had a few fever hallucinations, but that might also be because of her schizophrenia, and that it's ''mixing'' with the fever. It's very hot where she lives as well right now, so she has a chance of getting worse. But she seems to be doing quite well up until now, so let's just hope it'll stay like that.

I think I might actually finish my diary in the next week, maybe even this week, who knows. Then I can finally start the new one! I might post a picture of the new diary later, when I start using it. But until then, it's gonna stay a secret.

I'll keep you up to date, bye ^^

Entry #5

So today, nothing much happened. Sophie couldn't text until about 21 o'clock, and Pesto was busy too. But he sent me the link to his YT-Channel, and up until now he has three videos. One of which being a recorded stream of the game ''Outlast''. Since I really, really enjoy psychic-horror games, I jumped riiiight in. But I'm also paranoid when I watch let's plays like that, so I was excited but terrified at the same time.

The weather didn't change that much. It got a little colder tho, so I guess that's good.

Jesus... I can hear my neighbor snoring, and he lives an apartment over me. I can hear him loud. And clear.

... how does his family put up with that???

Anyways... nothing else really happened. Goodnight, sweet dreams!

Chapter 1

She looked around the student flooded entrance of UA high, the school where heroes were formed. There were people all around, but not a single familiar face. She looked up again, taking her time to take in the beautiful view of the high school she was about to enter. The warming sun hit her face, and she read the initials she had seen so often before once again, still not believing her light grey eyes. She wasn't dreaming, it was real; she was about to enter the building, even though she was 3 weeks late, and she was going to get taught how to be a hero by real pros. With a now determined look on her face, she turned her face to the actual doors, and entered the old, huge school. The second she entered, she already loved the sight. She took it all in: the view, the smell, even the atmosphere. She took it in her heart, as if it could be ripped from her at any second, and started moving again after a good minute. The hazelnutbrown haired girl looked for her classroom, and found what she was looking for soon enough: ''CLASS 1-A'', the sign above the door said. She took a deep breath, opened the door, and saw a class full of students her own age, just joking aroud. She imagined all of this to be so different; in the many, many sleepless nights she had, where most of her thoughts revolved around her new school in a whole different coutry, the famous UA high, she imagined how the students would be, and she always came to the same result: top-students, stern, determined to win, serious. But here they were, just joking around, laughing, one was yelling, he had his ashblond hair spiked away from his head, another one was staring at the girls who were giggling and laughing. She took a closer look at the little guy, and quickly noticed the deep purple ball-shaped thigs on his head. not wanting anyone to know she was staring, she looked for a seat, and luckily found one near the widow. It was a lonely little desk that looked like it was moved there on a short notice. She sighed, put her backpack down, took out her notebook and started writing.

The day just started, but this school is already way different from what I expected. There is not a speck of seriousness coming from most of the students, just laughter can be heard, the silent sound of gossip, and nervous shuffling of bags and paper. How much more different from my imagination can it get? Will the teachers be as nice as I thought they'd be? Is there anything like I expect it to be?

The teacher entered, the students went back to their desks, only the sound of moving furniture was breaking the newly earned silence. The teacher with long, black hair cleared his throat, uttered a >>Good morning, class.<<, and sat down.

>>Good morning, Mr. Aizawa!<< the students reply in unision. The teacher who seems to be Mr. Aizawa motions them to sit down, and turns his gaze to Mary, the new girl, the one in the back, sitting at the helplessly placed desk, with a notebook laying open in front of her. >>Alright<<, he raised his voice once again, >>we have a new student, as you might have noticed. Mary, would you come to the front and introduce yourself please?<< Mary obiediently stood up, made her way to the front, positioned herself next to Aizawa, and started talking. >> Hi. I'm Mary, I'm 14 years old, and I come from Germany, which is the reason for my accent and my late appearance. I apologize in advance for any wrong pronounciation, or grammar mistakes. I truly am trying my best to make my English understandable. I was accepted due to recommendation. Thank you for listening.<< And with that, she walked back to her seat. what the class didn't know, after they heard her little speech, was, that Mary had spent hours on end changing and perfecting those few sentences, because she thought the whole class expected her to sound as formal as an important business man. She felt a little awkward, having everyone stare at her like she was crazy for sounding like an adult, but she just contered their confused looks with a smile. Aizawa turned the attention back to him. >>Thank you, Mary. Now, let's starts today's lesson...<<

Mary was only half listening. She was passing her time by examining every student in her class. One stood out. He haid red and white hair, parted neatly in two halves. The right half of his hair was a brilliant white, the other side a bright red. There was a scar as red as the hair covering it partly on his left eye. Mary started to wonder. ''What happened to him? Did he dye his hair? How is that posible?'' Those were only some of the questions she had. When she finally let her gaze wander to the next student, he was already looking at her. When she met his eyes, he just winked, smirked, and turned back to the board. ''what... the actual.. Chinchilla?'' The boy had bright yellow hair, and a bolt on one side of his scalp. There was nothing too interesting, really, but somehow Mary still wanted to talk to him. Maybe to actually have a friend, maybe to ask him what she missed while she was gone, or maybe she just wanted to know why he did that. She never has been flirted with before, if that was even considered flirting. She had to admit, he did look kind of cute. And of course that means he's either gay, taken, or a racist. Since that was all there was to see about that boy, she turned her attention to a girl with.. pink skin? And horns?? Mary didn't believe her eyes. >>How is that even...?<< she started silently, but stopped herself, not wanting to draw any attention to herself. Only then she realized, that there was literally a bird person just chillng in his seat, taking notes. She couldn't wait for recess so she could ask all about their names, their quirks, and who was taken and who wasn't. Let's see, who actually looked like they'd have a partner. The yellow-haired one with a blot in his hair, the guy who had his long, red hair styled into spikes, the red and white haired one, that just seemed to have some kind of terrifying secret, the... wait a minute. Mary knew who he was. He was Endevours son, Shoto Todoroki! She read something about him in the news just a couple of weeks ago. No wonder she got that weird, secretive vibe from him. There were a lot of rumours in all of the internet about the father-kid relationships being all crazy and horrible. She could really relate to him to an extend. Mary's mother and father have been emotionally distant ever since she was old enough to do stuff on her own. At the tender age of seven she had to cook for herself, but that didn't stop her from being an absolute sweetheart to her friends. And although she would never admit it, she was a pure soul. Apart from the smut she has read throughout the last few years, she was as clean as the air in a forest, far away from humanity and polution. Yes, she was a bit of a pervert. But she was too shy to actually spy on someone. She wasn't afraid to flirt, though. Most people didn't take it serious when she flirted with them and laughed it off, so she has been single up to that day. When she was honest with herself, she knew that she really wanted to have someone to hold her close and listen. But who would take a girl like her? She asked that question a lot when she thought about relationships. That's why she didn't do that often.

Mary found it amusing how her mind wandered off all the time. It was like her brain was making a path on it's own, like it was trying to lead her somewhere, someplace special that might not ever be discovered by anyone else... unless she told the person about that place, that secret space where she can get lost in for hours on end, without anyone noticing she was even gone in the first place. She doesn't leave her spot, but is in a whole different world at the same time, a world where she can be herself without having anyone there to judge her, without any rules, without any boundaries. She could kill, kiss, and insult anyone as much as her heart desired. She lost count of how often she brutually murdered someone in her mind. And the fact that she could imagine anything pretty vividly just made the whole game better. Same goes for kissing and making out, and everything beyond that. But it was also a curse at times. Whenever some said: >>imagine if...<<, she immediately started imagining it. She had seen multiple people making out, and that was worse of an experince than it might seem like. Because it wasn't just people her age, it was also teachers, heroes, old people and even animals.

All of a sudden, she was ripped from her thoughts, by someone standing in front of her. It was a green haired boy with freckles and a bright smile. >>H-Hey! Mary, right? I'm Izuku Midoriya, but everyone calls me Deku!<< He extended a hand for her to shake. She took his hand, gave it a light squeeze, and smiled back. >>Yep! That's me! Nice to meet you, Deku!<< She shiftd the thoughts of death and brutal murder aside and made room for information about him. He was barely taller than her, had emerald green eyes, had really fluffy looking hair, and just seemed really adorable overall. Mary guessed that he was most likely gay. Which was definetly not a bad thing, Yaoi all the way, but she had a feeling that at least one girl had a crush on him. Speaking of girls, there was one right behind him. She smiled at Mary and held out her hand too. >>I'm Ochako Ururaka!<< she chirped happily. Mary took her hand, gave it a little squeeze too, and smiled even brighter than before. >>Mary! I'm looking forward to being in class with you two!<< she said friendly.

She inspected them, then bluntly asked >>Are you two a couple?<< Ururaka started blushing madly, and so did Deku. He was the first one to actually respond. >>N-No, we're just f-friends!<< Mary chuckled at their reaction. >>If you say so~<< she purred while smirking. Then she turned her attention to the bo from earlier. >>Hey, you two, who is he?<< she pointed at the yellow haired boy. >>Th-That's Denki Kaminari. He's part of the Bakusquad, unlike Bakugo himself really nice and outgoing, though.<< Izuku started. >>But he's kind of a flirt.<< Ururaka added. So that was the reason why he winked. He's flirtasious. Great, she thought. >>Hey, how about we introduce you to everyone?<< Izuku said, now calming down his blush. >>That'd be

great!<< Mary thanked him.

Everything went great, until it was her time to meet Bakugo.

>>End chapter 1<<

Entry #16, 9/11/19

Currently in the bus, on my way to school. I thought I'd quickly tell you how my therapist reacted, since I promised you said info: he apologized, multiple times, and- well, we had other things to talk about, so I changed the subject after a while. He recommended a book (about psychology), and I'm hopefully gonna be able to get it soon. I mean, if someone, whose profession is psychology, recommends a book, it has to be good, right? It's about childhood and trauma, and how to detect one, too, I think. I'll take a look at it later. See you!

Entry #15, 9/10/19

Oooh, on my way to my therapist's. I'm thrilled to see his reaction when I tell him what happened because of a single, innocent question... and after I asked him not to mention it, too. But the past is in the past. It was only a week ago, yet... it wasn't his fault, so why would he have much of a reaction?

Entry #18, 9/16/19

Hello, fellow sinners. I'm currently in hell once again. I woke up waaay more tired than I went to sleep. I wonder what I did wrong? Maybe it was too cold? Or I didn't sleep enough? Maybe I'm just overreacting and I just slept bad? Nobody will truly ever know. But I don't care too much. In a few days I'll have forgotten this anyways, so why bother.

I'm reading a book about schizophrenia to block out the students in my class, trying to keep the conversations people try to strice up once in a month as short as possible, but still working on the assignments the teacher gives us. I know I'll be able to do this, it's the life I want. I don't want to be loud, I don't want to be forced to tell people why I don't want to talk, and no, nothing's ''wrong''. I just think that if I don't like you, why should I talk to you?

''No trust, No entry.''

That's my motto now. Yep, I'll be an edgy teenager to the ones that I don't like. But if I do like you? Hooooo boy, a whole different person. I'd even say the exact opposite. Outgoing, trying to be funny, flirty (even though it's just for fun, but heyyy) and sooo damn obsessed with Anime and Hamilton. I could easily one of those ''not like other girls'' girls, but I just think it's normal not to like make-up, or horses, or pink or stuff like that. It's not making anyone special. Everyone's different. The girls from my class just seem to be... exactly like those ''other girls'' that the girls that end up on r/notlikeothergirls describe. And that exact thing is so annoying! They love horses, make-up, pink and everything you could imagine that's called girly! Shoes, dresses, clothes in general, their favorite YouTuber is Bibisbeautypalace (a really famous make-up-lifestyle-etc Youtuber), the list goes on and on.

That was my rant for now. Goodbye, Sinnamon rolls!

A song I currently enjoy a lot.

Entry #30, 11/1/20

Hewwo, my dear reader/s!~ I just wanted to give a quick update, instead of just leaving you out because nothing particularly interesting happened.

I found out a couple of my grades! I probably have a B in French, a B in chemistry, a D in German (it’s so hardddddd--) and probably the first B I ever got in English. On the report card, that is. I had plenty of B’s on minor tests and sometimes even exams. But it’s only the report for the first half-year (?), so it’s fine.

I just remembered! I have a ‘‘meeting’‘ with the principal of my school this Friday! He was talking to my mother a couple of days earlier, and she then told me that he’d asked for a chance to talk to me in his office, alone. As I probably let you know before, I don’t feel much, but right now, just thinking about it- I’m pretty sure I’m either nervous or excited! After all, no student ever talks to the principal, except for the ones that violated a school rule (i. e. smoking on school grounds, selling drugs, consuming alcohol etc.). It’s actually kinda something to be proud of... just like the fact that I talked to the mayor of my little village. How many people my age, or just in general, can say that about themselves? It might not seem very special to anyone except myself, but I think it’s an honor to even get that chance. Anyways!  I’m kinda scared as to what he wants to talk about. I mean it’s obvious that he wants to talk because of my school-changing plans, but.. what if he doesn’t understand me? What if he won’t allow me to do it without a more ‘’valid’’ reason? I’ve been told that I won’t be needing one, but it’s always better to be prepared for everything. I’ll also be meeting up with the principal of the new school soon. Of course he’ll be wanting to talk to me (or really any other new student) before accepting them, especially in the middle of the year. I just need to make a good impression, and my report card isn’t particularly bad, either... pretty average, tbh. I mostly have C’s and B’s, maybe two or three D’s... based on my grades I’d probably be accepted. Especially to a public school. But if I screw up the ‘‘interview’‘... it’s pretty obvious what will happen. Soooo I just gotta do my best, let my widest polite smile shine, and best not wear make-up. (’‘Normal’‘ make-up wouldn’t be bad, but I only wear eyeliner and dark-blue lipstick. If I wear that I’m sure to get kicked out after the first 10 minutes) Apropos lipstick: a bro of mine (let’s call him... Don) ordered me black lipstick, without me even asking for it. I was just complaining about a classmate of mine that wouldn’t mind his own damn business (and I quote: ‘‘You should stop wearing that. Either black or nothing.’‘ and yeah, I told him multiple times that I couldn’t find black lipstick in any store I was in, but did that stop him? nope), and Don asked me why I didn’t just order it online. I told him that my mother would never allow that (internet= bAd; typical gen x), but he was already looking for it on amazon to prove a point. He showed me, I repeated myself, and we changed the subject. Thursday he came to me and said the following:

‘‘It arrives on Saturday.’‘

That.

Nothing else.

That was the first thing he said.

I think you can imagine how confused I was. Apparently it was really easy to tell that I was confused, cuz he clarified what he meant, which just led to me being even more confused.

Why would he do that?

I didn’t ask him to do it... I never even implied that I wanted him to do it?? Why would he waste money on something for me? I mean yeah, he’s a nice dude, but it’s just fake like from everyone else, right? Oh. I know what he’s planning. He wants to make me believe that he likes me, just so he can tell his friends how pathetic I am for thinking that. Or he wants to make fun of me because of our financial situation. Or he just wants to give me hope or whatever and then ‘let me down’, just like everyone else always did. I mean.. what reason would there be for him to genuinely give me a gift? None. I’m not even funny enough for him to consider me his friend. We barely talk! I guess I better get ready for public humiliation on Monday...

Anyways, that’s it from me. I’ll tell you how it all went when it happened.

Regards and hugs,

~Mary~

P.S: I finally watched Sanders Sides, and I find it very funny! ^^ I’m thrilled to see the next episode!~