SHADOW AND BONE HAS BEEN CANCELLED 😭😭😭😭😭😭

I can't get enough of the Brother/uncle Kaz headcannons. So here r some more.

But this time, it's about Kaz third wheeling Elijah Rollins (Adjala's lover aka my oc) and Adjala (Kaz's sistet aka my oc).

1. Kaz, the Eternal Third Wheel: Kaz often finds himself unintentionally third-wheeling when spending time with Adjala and Elijah. Whether it's a romantic dinner or a simple walk in the park, he somehow manages to always be there, lurking in the shadows.

2. Awkward Interruptions: Kaz has a knack for walking in at the most inopportune moments. Whenever Adjala and Elijah share a tender moment, steal a kiss or are making out, Kaz's impeccable timing ensures that he witnesses it all. His reaction? A dramatic sigh and an eye roll or cursing on his way out.

3. Secretly Ships Them: Despite his gruff exterior, Kaz secretly ships Adjala and Elijah and can't help but playfully tease them about their affectionate moments. He might toss a coin their way and quip, "Buy yourselves a room, you two."

4. Reluctant Babysitter: Whenever Adjala and Elijah need a break from their parental duties, they know they can count on Kaz to babysit Jordan, Johannes and Kaz jr. Kaz's (aka the og) tough love approach makes for some amusing stories of the kids outsmarting him.

5. Inadvertent Matchmaker: Kaz unintentionally becomes a matchmaker for the couple. He might arrange "accidental" encounters or conveniently forget to mention that the other is coming over, leading to amusing situations.

6. Kaz's Relationship Advice: Kaz occasionally offers unsolicited relationship advice to Adjala and Elijah, which they usually find amusing. His advice often involves strategies for heists and scams, much to their amusement.

7. The Mournful Violin (ft. Nina's singing, Jesper's horrible violin skills and Matthias' bleeding eardrums): Jesper once jokingly complained that his violin playing and Nina's singing duet was so horrifying that it drove couples apart. And Matthias could barely hear anything over their duet, so Kaz had him learn to play harmonica horribly. Now, whenever Adjala and Elijah go out in a romantic date on the roof of the Slat, Kaz will have Jesper dramatically pull out his violin and play a mournful tune, dramatically out of key, and have Nina duet to it, while Matthias plays the harmonica horribly in the background, always causing Adjala to face palm and Elijah to stuff tissues into his ears. *They carry around ear plugs now*. (rip Matty and Elijah's ear drums xoxo)

8. Impromptu Counselling (ft. Therapist Wylan) : Kaz occasionally finds himself in the role of an impromptu couples' counselor, alongside wylan, always listening to their relationship woes and offering his unique perspective on love and loyalty.

9. Kaz's "I Told You So" Moments: When disagreements arise between Adjala and Elijah, Kaz is always ready with an "I told you so" or "You should have listened to me." It's all in good fun, of course. (Except for that one time Elijah got Adjala pregnant)

10. The mom friend (ft. Inej) : Kaz embraces his role as the mom friend of the family (taught by urs truly Inej ofc), offering a different perspective on life and love. He might say, "You two enjoy your domestic bliss; I'll be out here in the shadows, counting my crows." And he jokes be grudgingly so that inej laughs.

That's pretty much it Lol.

I woke up and chose violence

HOT TAKE

Am I the only one who thinks Avery is a bit boring?

Like her only personality trait is obsessing over the Hawthornes, and being SmArT

Gurl 🙄✋

In my native place we call PPL like her desperate, we call them hens💀—

Sorry someone had to

Literally me trying to find her personality

I'm sorry Avery stans but I had to say it.....

No hate to jlb or Avery

She's just like Bella swan tho 💀

Lowkey think the latter is better

Like Avery is SO dem full of herself

Eg

Extert from the Hawthorne Legacy

“Thea's poker face was good, but mine was better”

Gurl stop.

I know ppl who coul have your eyes out on a platter

And the famous quote of hers is -

“My house my rules.”

My honest opinion -

A) Did she actually say that?

B) You know who else says this? My mom

And after she donates the money she's like

“oH mY gAwD iM sOoO kInD”

*wheeze

I cant—

We KNOW you donated like 94% of the money (which was pretty dumb u could've donated like 50%) [Tobias' ghost is having a seizure]

You don't have to RUB IT IN OUT FACES OMG

At some points in the book I wanted to jump in and beat her up.

Next hot take -

Jameson's mid asf

I write a fanfiction about Kaz having a sister in Wattpad, named Adjala Brekker. And I just got the craziest idea. Kaz is always the baby sitter for Adjala's kids so why not write headcannons?

So I just made a few headcannons about Kaz babysitting his niece Jordan, and his two nephews Johannes and Kaz jr.

( Everytime you see a mom approved, it means the kids' mother approves of the activity )

1. "Uncle Kaz's House of Schemes": Kaz turns babysitting into a series of elaborate games and puzzles for the kids. It's like a mini heist every time they visit, complete with clues and riddles to keep them entertained. (Mum approved)

2. Kaz's version of "nap time" is "quiet planning time": When it's time for the kids to take a nap, Kaz uses this opportunity to quietly plan his next big scheme. He's convinced they're the perfect cover for his brainstorming sessions. (Mum approved)

3. Candy heist training: Kaz teaches the kids the fine art of candy heists, complete with disguises, diversion tactics, and a secret candy stash. They're the most resourceful trick-or-treaters in Ketterdam. (Mum not approved)

4. The "Ingenious Bedtime Routine": Kaz has a knack for getting kids to bed without fuss. His secret? He tells them thrilling stories about his heists until they're too excited to stay awake. (Mum approved)

5. Tiny suits and dresses: Kaz insists that the kids wear tiny suits and dresses, just like him, when they go out together. It's a comical sight seeing them dressed as miniature versions of him. (Hehe definitely mum approved)

6. Teaching the art of negotiation: Kaz imparts his negotiating skills to the kids, coaching them on how to haggle with street vendors for the best deals on toys and treats. They quickly become savvy little traders. They negotiate with daddy alot too, and their daddy always falls for this (Their dad hates this, so mum approved)

7. The "Kaz Jr. Inheritance Fund": Kaz secretly sets up a savings account for each of the kids, earmarking it as their "inheritance." He insists they learn about managing their finances from an early age. (Uncle Jes and Mumma approved)

8. "The Kaz Bunker" (my fav) : In the event of a "Kaz-sized emergency," he's built a secret bunker (a well-fortified blanket fort) in the living room. It's the perfect hiding spot for epic pillow fights and strategizing. (There's photo evidence -Inej) [mum approved - Kaz's sister]

9. Poker night (ft. Uncle jes, Daddy and uncle Wy) : Kaz introduces the kids to poker night, using candies as chips. It's all in good fun until Jesper's uncanny ability to bluff leaves Kaz Jr and Johannes with an empty stash of candy, while Jordie has a whole lot to herself. Wylan always gives his candy to Kaz jr in the end. Elijah (the kids' dad) sits their and sticks his tongue out to his brother in-law whenever he wins, only to me met by the Lethal Brekker sibling glower. (The mother doesn't aprove of this, their dad does tho)

10. Lessons in lockpicking (childproof, of course): Kaz teaches the kids the basics of lockpicking, with a set of child-friendly locks and tools. They think it's just a game, but it's secretly a life skill. (The parents don't aprove since candy is always being stolen from the kitchen)

11. Kaz and naps : when the kids' parents get back from date night of smth, they see uncle Kaz and the kids in the Kaz Bunker fort, or all of them on the ground, surrounded my toys and Kaz is laying flat on his stomach and Kaz jr is snoozing on top of him and Jordan and Johannes are snoozing in the corner. This, ladies and gentlemen, is how the bastard of the barrel gets his sleep. (Inej has photo evidence) [Daddy and mumma approved]

12: Lifeskills (ft. Uncle Matty, aunty 'nej and aunty Ninny) : so Kaz gets his gang together to preach Lifeskills to his nephews and niece. Uncle Matty adores the mini demjins. Aunty 'nej takes them in sea trips (Aunty ninny brings the snacks) [ pappa and mumma approved]

13. Shark stare classes 101: in which Kaz teaches his little trainees the signature bombastic side eye and shark like stare, along with the lethal Brekker glower, which always has the kids' dad running for the HILLS, cuz they look like his scary wife and terrifying brother in law. (Daddy and Mumma approved ladies and gentlemen)

A fanfic for this :

Tumblr

Kaz brekker's baby sitting

CONTEXT ; adjala brekker is kazs adopted sister (and shes suli) and elijah rollins is Pekkas illegitamate disowned son (adjalas husband) and

I'm tagging a few of the biggest SoC enthusiasts I know : @she-posts-nerdy-stuff @ell0ra-br3kk3r-writes @marsconer

He wanted to ask for a billion, but he didn't want to prove inej right (greed is your god scene)

We talk a lot about 30 million kruge, because of course we do, but we don’t mention often enough that the original offer was FIVE. It took Kaz one conversation to get it from five million to twenty million, and then he demanded thirty anyway. I love him.

I WANT ALL OF THEM IN MY LIFE 😭😭

I claim the brains ones!!!!

Tag yourself: Shadow and Bone edition

What kind of friend are you?

(based on this post)

This makes ALOT of sense

I like to think that part of the reason Inej is drawn to Kaz is because he's such a damn performer... I feel like it's easy to forget it bc her job in the Dregs is to go unseen, but Inej was raised in the circus. She performed until she was fourteen, and her tell is still squaring her shoulders like she's performing to an audience. I think it's fun to consider that she likes Kaz exactly because he's a bit of a showman, not in spite of it. That even though he's a conman and a thief and coddles his reputation so hard its difficult to tell where the truth even is, there's still something she finds familiar, or even comforting, in his theatricality and weakness for magic tricks.

This is the best fanfic ever <3

Parenthood by Kaz Brekker

relationship: kaz brekker/his son. a little bit kaz brekker vs his son. kaz brekker x female!reader.

warnings: idon'tknowwhattodo!kaz. iwilldoeverythingformyson!kaz.

legend: y/n -> your name

word count: 1485

authors note: I’M SORRY, OK? if you want to read something riddiculous, abstract and stupid then… well you are in the right place. please don’t kill me, i’ve great fun writing this at 3 a.m.

english is not my first language so sorry for mistakes

Saying that Kaz was worried was understatement. Kaz was totally panicked and for the first time in his life he didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t solve the problem with force as usual, right? But, come on this kid was his son, he couldn’t be that bad as others. Kaz wanted to believe in this but for him children were only little devils.

‘Don’t make such a face, Kaz,’ said y/n and took her suitcase. 'This is your son and I’ll be back for three weeks. Bye.’

It took Kaz a moment to realise that previously she had been saying about two weeks not three.

'Wait! y/n!’ He ran after her but she had already gone. 'Fuck!’

'Fuck,’ Kaz heard a childish voice. 

Keep reading

inej: *laughs while looking pretty as always*

Kaz:

KENJI - UGHHHH JULIETTE WHY DO YOU LIKE AARON SO MUCH

JULIETTE - theres many reasons but I have a feeling you don’t actually want to hear them so please tell me, what did my husband do

KENJI - WHAT DIDNT HE DO, first he ate a cookie with a knife and fork again, second HE ORGANISED MY WARDROBE AND AFTER THAT HE GAVE ME 50 BUCKS AND TOLD ME TO STOP STARING AND TO BUY MYSELF SOMETHING SPECIAL

JULIETTE - oh boy

KENJI - YES

JULIETTE - to be fair, you got your wardrobe organised for free and he gave you 50 dollars so I don’t understand why your complaining do much

KENJI - BUT HE ATE A COOKIE WITH A KNIFE AND FORK, THATS NOT OK

JULIETTE - i will admit that is a little odd, I’ll talk to him about it

KENJI - THANK YOU

YOU DID NOT—

Zoyalai Headcanon

The last time Zoya wore a blue ribbon was at Nikolai's funeral.