Me, Pouring Three Day Old Mountain Dew Baja Blast Down My Sink: Oh That Definitely Isn't Supposed To

i remember in my 7th grade English class we were doing poetry about a personal experience and i took the trauma route and wrote about how i felt when my father was stationed but from my mother's perspective and used they/them to convey how i felt like i didn't know him until he finally came home and my English teacher gave me a full lecture about being clear about my character's appearances and attributes and i gave me a 95 when i changed all the they/them pronouns to he/him

anyway im nonbinary now

clawing at the fucking walls i can't believe my first edit is to be for MHA and not Spider-Man. what has this show done to me. i pulled out my old choir's 2023-2024 chamber choir for this shit. i'm going all out. what happened to me. the hyperfixation isn't even creeping up it's literally right behind me in the mirror staring down at me with malice. chat am i cooked??

i try to make a wholesome, playable, funny joke character and it evolves into a pathetic lump of a man who puts everything before himself and would do anything to protect those he loves

my dog is currently laying on my kidney and while i love her i can't breathe

A fanfic writer's best tools:

em dash

semicolon

italics

one word/sentence paragraphs

remembering the time i got my nails done for my promotion, waited two hours because the people forgot i was there, got asked repeatedly if the color i wanted was right because it wasn't "girly enough", and then the tech did them completely wrong and i cried the whole way home :)

me: if you let the dogs go in without their leashes, they're gonna run away

my mom: no they won't

a dog: *tries to run away*

my mom: i cant believe this happened

working on something you don't understand without direct help is like playing chess without knowing how to play chess but you know how to play checkers so you're just kinda rolling with that and the person across the table isn't correcting you and you think you're about to win then your opponent takes your queen and now you're back at square one and down a point and still no one is telling you how to play but you just have to keep playing because maybe it'll click eventually

just to add: the same dog tried to run away yesterday as well when we were taking in groceries so obviously shes on a rebellious streak but noooo its my fault for being upset about being right

me: if you let the dogs go in without their leashes, they're gonna run away

my mom: no they won't

a dog: *tries to run away*

my mom: i cant believe this happened

coming back to tumblr after way too long being on other platforms is embracing the reblog/liking culture of literally just do what you want there is no meaningful algorithm to appease and that right there is true freedom