When I First Saw This I Thought It Was About Orkz.

Pain, suffering, and a shallow grave beats an eternal void in my soul that I try desperately to fill with excess to pretend it's not there.

I mean, Slaanesh is probably one of thr better chaos gods to follow, but that's not saying much.

why̴̡̥̞͕̖͛͋̃́̊̅́̃͋̔̌ are you still a loyalist, your c̶̨̬̩̳͒̊̓͛̃͊̃̚͠͠͝͝orpse-emperor doesn't lo̶̧̜͇̣͔̳͕͕͙͎͗͐̾̈́̀͑́̔̓̍͑͝ͅͅve you

wouldn't you rath̷͉̦͕̭̏̅er risk your life for ả̸̛͙̺̹͎̝͐̉͐͗͑́̚ cause that will give yoụ̶̧̬̖̘̩̪̭͉̮͚̜͉̆̃͗̇́̽̂̑͗́̿͠ something besides pain and mĩ̸͎͍̙̪̬̱̾sery and a shallǫ̸̝̰̱̩̐̂̽͋́̈́͗̃̋͑̚͝͝w grave on s̸̢̼̥̳̳͔̗͍̜̭̝̖͉͒͋̈́̋̈͌͆̏͠ome backwater world in the end?

ẃ̴̞͚̞̬̦̮̤̭͎͍̪̗̙̅͂͗͗̈́̉̃̕͜ơ̸̢̨̺̘̠̺̲̘̖͔̥͛́̄͑́̂́́u̵̮̬̼͉͇̻͎͒͌͗̄͗͐͗̽̑̇͋̀̌̕l̷̛̝̦͙̤̻̬̖̜͚̀͛̑͆̍͐̂̈͛̈̓̇́͘d̶̛̩̭̱͓͌͗n̷̛̙̜̋͗̔̓̇̋͋͊̕͘'̴̢̨̘͚̠̤̦̩̹̭̤͍͙̳̈̒͠t̵̛̻̖̗͙̰̹̟̫̳̳͓͔̟͙́̓͑̃͂̀͋͑͗̈́̚ͅ ̷̛̫̖̼̿̄͛͌̊̓̚ý̸̨̨̡̳̟͔̦͔̮̗̘̱͈͔͖̿̇͆̑̑͆ơ̸̻̩̙͉̾̈̇̍̄̿́͘͘͠͝ư̷̹͔͓̺̆̔͊̑ ̷͔̒̄́͘͘r̷̬̩͙̾͝͝a̸̛̫̫͌̌͒̔̇̒̄̇̈́́̽͘͝t̸̢͔̣̗̹̠͙̯̫̠̩͎̟̮͇̆̈́͛͒̇̊͒̾h̷͇̮̯͇̺̿̂͑̋͊͋̕͘ͅę̷͈͍̗̹̩̙̖͌̈́̎́͐̐̎̕͘͝͝r̶̛̝͔̈́̔̀͂̐̒̍̂͗̈ ̸͕̞̝̗̖̪̫̲̈́́̒͑͆̀̈̔̆͑̓̐͋͆̕e̸̡̛̝̙͔̪̰̺͊͜m̴̧̧̟̞͎̩̞̙̹̰̠̥͆͊̓̚͜ͅb̵̛̰͎͕̝̙̟̙̥̰̆́̽͝ͅr̷̡̨͊̀̾̓̂̓̈́̿͗̽͒͠͠a̴̧̞̘̳͍̜̹͍̺̖͓͓͚͍͋̐͊̂͛̐̽̀͘̕͜͝ç̴̼̜̫̘̥͕̣̞̐̎͗̄̔̅͜͝͝ͅȇ̷̦͇̼̬͙͚̖̮̭̱̩̙͓̭͕ ̵̘̤̤̟̳̺̮̗̝̗̹̞̊̐̇͜e̸̜͓̱̼̹̰̺͂̈͑̅̋̄̐̿̏̈́̓̽̎͘͜x̷̦͉͙͇̼̮̀͛̾͋̑̌͝ͅc̸̢̧͓͖͉͋͛̉̂̆͂͘͠ë̶͕̥̳̻̣̠́̇̾̿́̓͑̂s̷̨̜̘͕̬̲̔̌͑̒́̆̀̌̈́͘͠s̴̡̧̛͖̼͎̜̺̘̺̤͍̱̟̎̃̓̇̊̈́̊̈́̓̑̌͋?̴̳̯̺̘̗̟̥͈͚͙̻̰̜̈́̓͛̀̑̓̃̆̊̈́̿́̚̕

Narthex, Blackball Ten-Two-Two, we need a commissar and a priest at our lima asap.

Sure, go ahead.

I swear, if I hear *one more person* simplify fulgrim to just "yassss queen slay" I am going to break something. He's such an interesting, tragic and relatable character and I wish people didn't simplify him to "haha pretty boy".

I love how, in any sane setting, the T'au would be The Villains, capital T capital V, but in 40k they're about the closest the setting gets to "good guys". They're an expansionist colonial empire that tries to force their ideology on everyone they meet and exterminates the people they deem incompatible with it, and somehow, because 40k is just that fucked up, they are one of the more reasonable factions in the galaxy.

Last night I realized that Emperor's Children will be my sixth army.

Slaanesh would be pleased.

They're Dark Angels. Being gay is a given.

TIL that there's a canon trans Drukhari Wych Succubus. Like actually stated that she used to be male, but after reaching this rank she transitioned into being a female Drukhari and seems to be totally cool with it.

Slay.

Fulgrim was a factory worker growing up. He participated in strikes and labor protests.

What primarch, or hell Astartes or just legion as a whole, has been flanderized by the fandom/who do you have funny facts about that shatters popular perception? I'll go first.

Leman Russ is only pretending to be stupid and has written multiple books in lore (saw someone say more than Magnus but can't find source)

Rogal Dorn putting his hand on Konrad Curzes shoulder after trying to talk him out of killing some people who resisted the crusade (and Konrad being uncomfortable with Dorns "fake friendship".)

‘No,’ said Dorn, placing a golden gauntlet on his shoulder guard. ‘We are liberators, not destroyers, brother. We bring the light of illumination, not death. We must govern with benevolence if these people are ever to recognise our authority in this galaxy.’ Curze flinched at the touch, resenting the easy friendship Dorn pretended. Bilious anger bubbled invisibly beneath his skin, but if Dorn was aware of it, he gave no sign.

Lorgar (upon having his prayer session with the boys interrupted or whatever) told a custodian "I wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire". Lorgar also witnessed some ritual in which a naked woman is turned into a demon. So Lorgar has canocially seen a woman naked.

Corvus Corax disliked poetry

I mean, the Chaos Gods do have "good" aspects, only they're a reflection of the galaxy and currently the galaxy is a real shitty place right now.

Personally I really like A Wolf In The Garden's portrayal of their good aspects.

Woke up from a nap, and I'm rotating Not Remotely Possible In Canon™️ warhammer ideas.

What if daemons could be "normal" somehow? I just randomly thought of chaos daemons doing good things that fit them, and it's probably gonna go on my long list of shit I wanna draw.

Chaos Trying To Be Good AU

A bloodletter being a surgeon, and dedicating every drop spilled in the act of saving a life to khorne. Since he's honed his blade (the scalpel) he's known as the best surgeon in the world, making it high demand for him to do ANY surgery, no matter the risk. He has spilled more blood than any other daemon, despite not being on the battlefield often, and dedicated the skulls of organ donors with the highest respect in his own dark heart. Also GREAT advocate for patients, because he will threaten insurance companies and incompetent doctors with being a more traditional sacrifice to khorne. Using his rage to protect the health of his patients rather than destroy. He never gets stronger or any blessings from khorne due to his small but consistent sacrifices, but he does get praise from patients, and letters up until their deaths. He keeps track of the letters, and gives him a pat on the back when they stop at either a reasonable or surprisingly long number of years.

A Changer of Ways, that's a special ED teacher and tutor. Never once using the same way of education twice for each of his students. Manipulating fate to make sure his students get 100% for all their homework and tests. But he never let's his students cheat, always making sure they understand the material, even if they understand it at a different angle. All his students love and respect him more than any cultist he's worked with in the past, and he has entire tomes dedicated to his students art of him, with their pictures on one page and descriptions, his positive opinions, and various ramblings about the young artist on various other pages. When the mortal children reach adulthood, they are able to excel in whatever field they desire, even when their new teachers at college teach them differently than their beloved teacher Mr. Bird, because they merely study their own way and succeed no matter how their professors look at them. So many people say the children who become his students won't ever succeed in life for being "lazy" or physically unable to do their work. He teaches, not just for the love of the kids, but because he thinks it would be really fucking funny for these kids to succeed anyways.

A great unclean one whose a heretic, seeing past his warped view, and seeing how much mortals actually hate disease. While he doesn't understand why mortals don't want the grandfather's love, he actively finds different ways to share it, becoming an anthropologist to fully understand mankind. He runs experiments every now and again, to see what mortals truly willingly receive, and what they give into because of having no other choice. He spent years growing various types of fungus in random places to gauge and write down mortal reactions. Do they collect it to eat? Do they just kick it away in disgust, or with glee? Do they avoid it at all costs? Do they destroy it? It narrows down the species of mushrooms drastically, limiting the "love" he can show through decay, but at least the mortals are feeling the love now. He studies the reactions of humans during plagues caused by his brothers, and starts smaller epidemics of his own, being extremely controlled with how he infects his subjects. He learns while mortals technically NEED plagues, they don't want them all the time, so he starts epidemics in moderation. Making weaker brights and pox to study over the next several weeks, accidentally making mortals more resilient against plagues, which is something they WANT. While all daemons of nurgle "love" all life, this one Unclean One truly loves humanity, and loves them how they need.

A group of daemonettes who work in rehab to try and get mortals to overdo it, only to take great satisfaction in actually helping. They're the only ones who actually do the job right, and treat the people there as people. I could see them in the hospital with the bloodletter, under silent truce of "You don't fuck with MY job, or MY patients, we're fine." They relish in the torment silently whenever their patients are freaking out from withdrawals, then bask in the praise when their patients make a full recovery. They give "false comfort" to their patients when in reality its more comforting than an actual doctor or therapist, because they ironically don't demonize the addicts, since they themselves 100% have had worse.

Maybe he could also get into farming, making plagues to invasive insects so farmers don't need pesticides, or he could help food rot faster to make fertilizer. Hell, he could make his own manure, watching what he eats and doing that one attack on a field to spread it around.

Or maybe instead of working in rehab, they could clean houses for free, restoring the simple luxuries, before giving their clients excessive gifts to keep them on their feet. Food in their clean fridges, expensive shampoos and cleaning products, beautiful decorations, and whatever else their client needs. Hell, maybe these could be daemonette groups that work together, restoring the homes of ex-addicts so they have some place more than just livable to return to.

It's fun thinking of chaos daemons doing "good" on purpose, both in the sense they would never logically do that, but also the stank eyes they would probably get from more traditional daemons.

Reblogging because I crave attention.

Messaging people for the first time is so hard. What am I supposed to say? Like, "You seem really odd and your blog intrigues me. Do you want to have philosophical conversations or perhaps talk about fictional characters?" What! Whatever. I will just follow you back and stare at your blog with my big beautiful brown eyes.

Is Slaanesh American?

Slaanesh throwing a gender reveal party for Fulgrim. Thousands dead, millions injured, Snek is very happy

I spent a lot of time handcuffed and in a cage in high school, for a charity bit the grocery store I worked at would do

the bit was that I was "put in jail for having too big a heart" and customers could donate to my bail to get me out (and the money would go to a children's hospital or something)

now. I was very clearly a teenaged employee handcuffed inside a large cage. and I would honestly tell people that I had been in there for hours. and people would say, that's terrible! that's awful! and I would show them my wrists red from the tight handcuffs, and say but I'm sooooooo close to making bail.

and then they would dump some cash in the basket, I'd thank them, and they'd walk away.

and every so often, one of the managers would come by and collect some of the cash, so I could keep being soooooo close to making bail.

I was very good with this bit. Parents with small kids would pay $5-10 if I told their children I had been placed in jail for not cleaning my room/doing my homework, etc. For people in their 20s, I'd threaten that I was very bad at playing the harmonica, but I WOULD play it and we'd all suffer unless they paid me. and for the most amount of money, older men in suits would almost always pay $20s if I avoided eye contact and stammered a lot.

eventually, the managers started to feel bad because I was in the cage so fucking long and often, that I'd need someone to brace me when I got out because I'd have no feeling in my legs. wobbling like a newborn giraffe.

but I would also rake in at LEAST $100 an hour in charity.

so they were like, hey champ. can we, uh, give you a pillow to sit on. in the cage. would you like a pillow so you're not just sitting on a cold metal slab. can we give you a pillow.

and I had to explain to them that if they gave me a pillow, people would think I was more comfortable, so they wouldn't feel as bad, so I'd bring in less money.

the compromise was that they'd bring me a nice coffee every couple hours, which I would have to try to block with my body from the customers.

all this money went to charity. that's what the money was for. it's what was on the sign. but how much they were willing to pay was very contingent on how comfortable I looked, never mind the fact that I was still a teenaged employee handcuffed inside a cage.

and out of the dozens of shifts I did this on, not ONCE did ANYONE say, hey kid I'm going to go talk to your manager because what the fuck is going on here. they would just drop money in the basket, and I'd thank them and sip from my secret drink.

I actually had people get MAD at me that I told them I was far away from bail, they donated like $15, and then 20 minutes I got let out because my shift ended.

again. the money was for charity. it was on the sign that was very clearly placed on the upper half of my cage.

so yeah. even when people think they mean well. people can be really, really fucking stupid.