Deep Cove, North Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada. December 2022.

stuff i've cried at while on my period

trying to sing low and then my voice cracked on me and i started crying

someone told me that everything was solved and i cried then and there

was running laps in gym and my tear ducts decided to activate

someone told me different stretches to do to help an injury and i cried silently for some reason

a family member asked about medication and my brain was like 'time to cry'

i was talking to someone about social stigma and started crying???

What have you cried at on your period? (or even not on your period what's a time you started crying for no reason)

Oh, Valentine's Day? Hahaha, I have rehearsal.

yay a post about arthritis! thank you!

Seeing people say that arthritis isn't disabling in the year 2023 sure gives me some. . . not great feelings. Like yeah, cool, thanks for completely undermining the decade or so of horrible pain I've experienced, my gradual loss of mobility, the constant fatigue and confusion (because rheumatoid arthritis affects more than just your joints!), the ableism I've faced from everyone in my life, and the degradation of my fine motor skills as the pain in my fingers and wrists especially gets worse and worse.

Also the ageism in it. . . "My grandparent has arthritis, that doesn't make them disabled." Idk how to tell you this bud but pretty much every elderly person in the world is disabled in some way because bodies break down and start doing weird shit naturally. Sorry that you see aging and disability as inherently contradictory but it's not my fault that you're so determined to gatekeep the label of "disabled" from people that you can't show even a bit of compassion to people whose experiences are different from yours.

Anyway @ fellow arthritic people I know this sucks so fucking bad and that no one takes us seriously but I promise you are not alone ily 🪻

The Watermelon Incident

At work yesterday, 5 minutes into the start of my shift, my produce manager had me and another produce employee clean up some sticky stuff on the floor from a watermelon, and we also had to dig through the big watermelon bin to find the crushed one. It wasn't pretty.

One of the cashiers working Deli told me that the sticky puddle had been there since the morning, and no one cleaned it up since then. Me and the other employee needed to use a whole stack of paper towels and like 4 regular towels to clean up all the watermelon goop.

And it was supposed to be my grocery shift...

wait, people think Bendy was Joey's creation?? It was obviously Henry's from the start.

Edit: I forgot to mention this more of a personal opinion at best.

I like to remind everyone in the BATIM fandom that Bendy belongs to Henry, not Joey. Joey may brought him to life but the entire character was made by Henry. In Chapter 3 of BATIM, there's a secret audio log from Henry himself in the Sunken Room. This is what it says.

That character he was talking about is BENDY. Remember Joey steals the ideas/twists the ideas of his co-workers than do it himself. He may have used the Ink Machine to create the demon but Henry came up with the character. There is also this hidden message for added proof found after you beat BATIM and come back with the Seeing Tool. This can be found on the Demon Path in Chapter 3.

Bendy and the Ink Machine is canon to Bendy and the Dark Revival. You got to pay attention to what the characters say to pick apart what's true from the lies. Joey Drew is a liar who hides behind a fake cheery facade. You see this through the hidden messages such as 'Joey Lied To Us' near the 'The Creator Lied To Us'. There's also this audio log in Chapter 4 on the first floor of the maintenance area that shows the REAL Joey Drew.

Anyway, Bendy is a Stein than Drew. Joey just brought him to life using the Ink Machines but the original character himself never came from him. The Dancing Demon was made by Henry and twisted by Joey Drew's experiments plus abuse.

And, after I made the announcement on our group chat and pinged all the actors, some of them had the AUDACITY to say;

"Oh thanks, (my name) you're a life saver! People might have forgot their props."

That came from an actor who forgot their costume piece and had to run to get it, and who forgets to put their prop back all the time.

and "THANKS (my name) I'M LAZY"

That came from my friend, who's been on stage crew before. I swear...

Speaking of bad behaviour from the actors, when I was going and doing my rounds and checking everything so we didn't have another mishap, (this show, an actor almost forgot their costume again! Luckily I reminded them to double-triple it!) and they got really annoyed that I was shining my flashlight so I didn't trip on anything. I even had my hand covering half of it! (I attached my flashlight on a chain of carabiners to make the ultimate flashlight)

SPEAKING of tripping on things, while I was going on the stage to stage left, I almost tripped on one of the set pieces we had onstage, conveniently painted... non-reflective black. My shins hurt so much :(

Show Update!

First night show one and done, woo! Still got one more night show tho...

Also, one of the main leading actors was delivering a monologue towards 3 other characters and accidentally did one of their names our of order so just said "and you" but it worked! (I don't think the crowd remembered anyways)

Also, we got our concession stand selling overpriced snacks for the 'experience' so I hope we can get back at least as much as a bucket of paint :/

one litre of paint was like 50 bucks :(

"Your phone just got kidnapped!" - My friend, overheard.

Came back from a music event an hour ago and my ears are STILL ringing.

Great.

Happy Disability Pride Month!