Don’t Have Actual Plans For The Future But I Do Have A Futuresona Which Is A Version Of Me That Accomplishes

Hello? Mitski-Themed Dog Fighting Ring? Yes, I’d like to place a bet….. ON A WINNING DOG!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHH (For more sick prank call ideas, go to my website!)

Ok guys had a dream. I had a job interview but i didn’t know where so I filled out all the info after a shower at like 11 at night, and my dad drove me there. It was this weird place directly attached to a Holiday gas station, and when I walked in, it SCREAMED money laundering front. It was an Indian restaurant, but in the most dilapidated room ever, and it was directly attached to both this warehouse filled with common household goods and a room entirely filled with a pool devoted to the main “business source”: Underwater horse walking. I walk in and am met with what looks to be an old Asian man and his 4 sons. The sit me down on a table and begin the interview. First they bicker about a few tasks, apparently one of the sons drained the pool too early. Then they ask me if I can navigate the warehouse, and if I have a swimsuit. One of the sons asks if I like his craftsmanship on a rack of homemade guns in a way that feels like a thinly veiled threat, and I am saying whatever I think will get me out of there alive because I am terrified for my life. Then they pull out a sheet of paper that looks like a hiring contract and a list of 7 more questions to ask and ask me, quite literally “Are you the type of person who asks a lot of questions about what they’re told to do, or can you just get the job done” and I tell them that while I can ask questions, if they tell me not to, then I won’t, and they laugh at me. Then, before they ask the 7 questions, I ask them “What is underwater horse walking??” They all laugh, and the old man says something along the lines of “When I think about what it is, I’m terrified. How can a man not be when he finds the secret of life on Earth?” It turns out, in the dream, underwater horse walking is some way to unleash the ancient cosmic power of creation, and he’s using it in some odd way to like, make new life i think? I don’t remember his exact goals. Then an order comes in for paper towels so I have to help stack ramen. At this point I’m thinking of telling y’all about this place because apparently the store is actually crazy good and has like a lot of foods from other countries crazy cheap. Then Ms. A (my senior year English teacher) walks in. She greets me and asks me about like the place and hands me my family’s car keys (??????) because apparently she needed our car for something and apparently my dad is there, and I’m like “I am NOT working here” so then I leave and the dream gets foggy from there. Idk what this all means like at all

There is nothing funnier to me than poorly redrawn trollfaces made around the time everyone was mocking people who made rage comics

IM SORRY I HAVWNT BEEN MAKING THE FUNNIES PLEASE HAVE MERCY IM SHITTING AND PISSING I WILL TRY TO MAKE MORE IM SORRY IM SORRY PLEALDKWNAKSSE

tally hall memes and shitposts because its the 10 year anniversary of miracle musical!

also because i like this band a normal, regular, neurotypical amount and i think about them a normal amount and i am not constantly holding back urges to make unfunny tally hall references

okay you know those virtual science labs they made you do in high school?

i bet they’d have mad science versions at evil high school

Shame how you both misspelled Lazagnea…..

My boyfriend just made a lasagne so good that I got a little bit hard

Every morning for breakfast I eat the goop I can get you a recipe if you want it has like 69 protein and 300 calories

they should make a meal that appears whenever you want to eat it and it doesn't take effort to make and is nutritious and filling and it never goes bad if you leave it in your fridge for a long time and never gets too dry or soggy or otherwise textureweird if you eat slowly and when you're done it automatically cleans off the plate so you don't have to do the dishes and also it should be free

egg