Fucking Food Purist.

Gwaihir uses the ring's invisibility and just becomes the wind, putting Manwë out of a job. Then, of course, Manwë would be furious at Mithrandir for giving the ring to the eagles and fires him.

I know that the nitpicking over why the Fellowship didn’t just ride the eagles to fly directly to Mordor has been talked to death, there’s more than enough answers. The Doylist answer is that would stop the whole book from existing, or replace it with a wholly different book all about eagles. The Watsonian answer is that a) the eagles are a noble independent people not a taxi service, b) the quest is a stealth mission and huge massive giant eagles are not stealthy, c) Mordor has air supremacy and the eagles could only fly to Mount Doom after Sauron was defeated and the Nazguls all gone.

But just now, option d) occurred to me: do we really trust the eagles to withstand the ring? If it tempts Gandalf and Galadriel, surely it tempts Gwaihir the Windlord. Do we want to create the Dread Lord of the Skies? He would wear the Ring on his lovely sharp claw! He would fly higher and swifter than the winds of the world! He would build a magnificent nest from the broken timbers of Edoras! He would eat so many people! All elves and men would be forced underground!

Please make sure to ask your short friends first before doing this. They may become agitated or even hostile. Plus, they might get disoriented from the sudden extreme height difference, so asking first ensures they are ready for the inevitable vertigo they will experience. Care for your short friends responsibly!

@metaphorical-noodle

Eye Level

I'll be needing these for later :]

Quantum hat. You didn't give enough exposition about the goat, so now the goat lives in my mind with a superposition of all possible hats many of which have yet to be invented.

imagine a goat with a hat

STOP-

what hat did you give the goat what is the instinctual hat you gave to this goat

“A collection of common glyphs of the poorly understood Memeorite civilization of the Second Silicon Age. Memeorite glyphs possess multiple conflicting interpretations and a complexity of meaning impossible to capture in a few short words. These are rough translations only.”

Source: https://twitter.com/beach_fox/status/1325668490431246336 (which include more “memeorite glyphs”

Hand me a hand

So, how about that airline food?

so can we start hunting down white liberals now or what

This post genuinely altered the trajectory of my life and how i make a lot of my decisions and i think about it so much