Kaminari: People Always Told Me College Was Going To Be When No One Cared And You Could Wear A Blanket

Shinsou: Sleep is meaningless. There is only exhaustion.

Today’s Adventure is that I, after an unintentional 13-hour power nap,

Got woken up at 6AM by a phone call from a friend stranded in Montana because of the heat wave and almost no cell service because of their crap provider.

OhSoThat'sHowIt'sGonnaBe.jpg

Ok.

I somehow summon a week’s worth of spoons and in less than 30 minutes and 5 phone calls, get them

A hotel

An appointment with a mechanic from 2 states away

A perscription refilled from 2 states away

and A Pizza

Go me.

But then it’s 8AM and there are unscheduled live humans at the door and while EVERGENCY MODE is still on, I have already blown through a ton of spoons, and also probably shouldn’t meet whoever it is wearing just a pair of bootyshorts that say “CRYPTID” in Gothic Font on my ass.

So I greet them in those shorts and a T-shirt that I manage to put on both inside out and backwards

#nailedit

It is, Fortunately, not the mormons.

it is, Unfortunately, two UPS guys trying to deliver my other in-house friend’s new phone except the new guy doesn’t know how to operate the “sign for package” device, and the old guy that’s supposed to be mentoring him is like, 92, deaf as a post, and doesn’t actually know how to operate the device either.

by the way

it is already

over 100 out

it takes almost 30 minutes to sign for the phone

when i get back inside, i discover that apparently the Corgi has learned how to open his kennel from the inside because he is now out of the kennel and waiting for me to come in.

he also has cat litter all over his face because while he was waiting for me he also learned how to open the baby gate to the cat’s room and help himself to a cat shit breakfast.

He’ll be fine

He’s a cattle dog, they’re legally required to have at least 1 really disgusting snack they love.

but

more to the point

i have no idea at what point he learned to open his kennel from the inside

has he been staying there out of politeness this whole time??

And

I got other shit to do today.

namely.

I’m seeing a realator

The Devils most pathetic yet effective demons

I get a reminder text that I have an appointment with her

at least

I think that’s what it is because what she sends me is: “🏡⏰12:00 ❔”

With the time typed in the middle like that.

She is, according to her profile, at least 80.

so I reply “😎👍”

and then she sends me a string of GODDAMN POST-MODERN EMOJI HEIROGLYPHICS THAT TAKE UP MY ENTIRE SCREEN.

She’s on an iPhone so half of them don’t even translate across platforms

It takes me half an hour and three different software programs and goddamn wingdings to translate, but she has sent me the address and rules about masking and not wearing shoes inside.

in emoji

instead of like

literally any other format

I am

FASCINATED

and simply must meet the woman so if I don’t come back to update I got stolen by the fairies but I’m taking the Corgi with me as protection so I’ll see y'all later.

idk man let’s see if this bagel has some worth

It’s summer once again!

Mina, crying: Please just use a ponytail holder

Sero, shoving another hairclip in his hair: I refuse

If a girl feels uncomfortable hanging out with you alone, and you get so offended by that, it makes you angry, she probably made the right choice.

I did it! I wrote a fic based on this. Sorry it’s bad, but it’s been done.

I see your "Kaveh gets hurt and Alhaitham is forced to face his feelings and confesses before it's too late", but I raise you: "Alhaitham gets hurt and confesses because he's too out of it to have the filter that's usually keeping him from complimenting Kaveh at every turn"

Kamisero in a fight

Kaminari: this is biphobic

Villian: What?

Kaminari: My boyfriend and I are bi and you're fighting us therefore you're biphobic

Sero: Babe that's not how this works

After discovering this, they all decide to go their separate ways. Years later, the seamstress and lord's daughter (now an official lady) meet again.

An apprentice seamstress falls head-over-heels in love with a page boy for her lord. The page boy has his eyes set on the lords daughter. The daughter has fallen hard for the seamstress. Their parents are well aware of the situation and are letting it all play out as a cruel entertainment.

Kaminari: I am not at all feminine.

Kaminari, doing Mina's makeup: I am the epitome of everything masculine

Kaminari, wearing a skirt and doing his eyeliner: The only person manlier than me is Kiri

Kaminari, playing princess with Eri: I have no clue why you all think I'm feminine in any way.

Sero: Kaminari please

Kaminari: No, Sero, he called me a girl.

Midoriya, sobbing: I SAID I WAS SORRY