Timetobetraumatised - TimeToBeTraumatised

Guys, let's make a sandwich. I'll start:

Bread

Highly recommend injecting a little whimsy into your life. Say hello to gravestones. Pretend the raindrops on your window are racing. When small children stare at you, wave. My grandfather had a studded belt that started losing its studs. He replaced them with googly eyes. Do what you can to make your life a bit lighter

them: SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST MEANS HUMANS MUST BE INDIVIDUALLY SELF-SUFFICIENT AND COMPLETELY INDEPENDENT

biologist:

The bar was so low it was practically a tripping hazard in Hell, yet here you are, limbo dancing with the devil

If it sounds like the composer is trying to blast you with the orchestra until you're as deaf as he is, it's Beethoven.

If it sounds like the composer might be a vampire, it's Bach.

If it sounds like the composer is trying to set the violins on fire, it's Vivaldi.

officially diagnosed with bed too cozy disease

Finally some good fucking news

hey wait! i know you! we used to be chained next to each other in the cave! wow, so good to see you, how are ya? man. remember how we used to talk about the shadows on the wall together. gosh that was a long time ago. but hey. sure is one heck of a sun out here, right? it's good to see you.

Reblog for larger sample size whatever

“Which spices go with which foods” lists are of limited value to me because, like, I have functioning taste buds. What I really need is a “spices that need to be added at the start of the cooking time in order to properly develop versus spices that need to be added in the last five minutes because extended heating fucks up the flavour profile” list – that shit is not intuitive.